Faith Venture

Seth Godin mentioned on his podcast recently that he has a favorite coffee mug that tells him, “I choose to give a damn.”

There are two verbs in that sentence that are important.

One is choose.

I choose—how I respond to daily stresses, what I feed my mind, what I feed my body. I can make the choice, or I can defer. I can defer the decision to others. Or to inertia.

The other is to give.

Giving not only helps others, it helps us as we give. And he tells us what to give. A damn. Meaning, I choose to care. I care about healing myself. I care about righting an injustice. I care about others (one at a time).

The conversation during university with a classmate about a professor. I expressed a concern. He said, “I don’t care.” I have been deeply affected by that flippant remark. Is that the Baby Boomers’ dilemma? Not caring about anyone outside ourselves? I don’t know. But I care.

She’s at it again. My wife, that is. Another jigsaw puzzle laid out on the kitchen counter.

I awakened this morning to visions of cat faces floating across my mind.

Yes, this puzzle has eight equal windows with a different cat face (with costume, sick, I know) in each window. Sort of like the windows in the Amsterdam red light district, you shouldn’t stare. But when you’re assembling the puzzle, stare you must.

Another reminder that the brain is impressionable. It absorbs and remembers what you impress upon it.

We must be intentional about what we allow our brain to see, hear, experience. As the brain goes, so we become. Feed it good things.

Many people seem to get confused over what freedom means. Some may think that freedom means that I can say whatever I want with impunity. This holds for talking to friends at a bar or posting on social media.

Those who have studied how to live the good and moral life as well as promoting a just society know that with the ability to speak comes the responsibility of using that speech wisely. The Apostle James provides the clearest argument from ancient sources.

If I were 18 again, I’d think that that paragraph is the result of old-people’s thinking. And younger people must rebel against it. That would be adolescent thinking of those whose prefrontal cortex has not fully developed. (I, unfortunately, remember being that age with much chagrin.)

Jesus taught us to love on another. James taught us to tame what we say. Paul taught us to be good citizens in both public life and organizational life. The Stoics taught much the same things. And the founders of our Republic learned from all of them.

Occasionally when I backslide into reading too much news, I need to remind myself of how responsible behavior is a requirement for a just society and a life well lived.

Sometimes this blog reflects what I’m telling myself to do and how to be. I felt I needed the reminder.

Do we become hard-hearted, selfish, colder as we age? Is it inevitable that we lose our idealism along with our hair? I have witnessed many contemporaries and those a little older become increasingly conservative and cynical.

On the other hand, perhaps we can grow in flavor and robustness like a fine wine as it ages. We can grow in wisdom, understanding, kindness, perspective. That was my vision for myself when I was young. The meditative guru.

I remember a vision given to me many years ago. I had opened a door with some trepidation about what was behind it. There were stairs. I went down the steps into a cellar. Suddenly with me were people of every race, creed, probably sexuality. A mass of humanity partying with dancing, music, dare I say, fellowship. I was invited in. I realized that we are all connected as children of God.

The headline of this post comes from philosopher/emperor Marcus Aurelius. “What injures the hive, injures the bee.” He understood. We are all connected. If we are not working together, then the people we injure just may be ourselves.

Be kind. To yourself and to others. Gain perspective. Don’t withdraw into a selfish shell. Grow in wisdom. Help build the hive.

Sometimes things don’t go the way I’d have preferred. Sometimes people will apologize for a mistake or not getting things right which may cause a change in my plan.

I’ll usually say, “I teach Yoga. I’ve learned to go with the flow. It’ll be OK.”

James Clear (known for the book Atomic Habits) wrote recently in his newsletter:

When rain falls, it flows downhill. If desired, you can collect the rain in a bucket and carry it uphill, but the natural tendency of water is to flow toward the lowest point. Most situations in life have a tendency—a direction in which things want to flow. You can choose to go against the flow (just as you can choose to carry water uphill), but your results tend to be better when you find a way to work with the gradient of the situation.

That is a good metaphor. Sometimes working against the flow is an exercise in futility.

I’m watching it snow as I write this. We are north of the big snow. We may not get even 2 inches. That is key. At two inches, the services plows our driveways. At less than two inches, we shovel. I don’t care. I am so happy that I could sell the snowblower. At the house we left, we lived on a corner. Even with the mechanical help, doing the drive and sidewalks even after only six inches or so would take some time. Scraping off an inch is just gentle exercise.

Of course, I’m fortunate to be healthy. Some people are not. That is what neighbors are for. My wife was talking with a neighbor who had a sore back from shoveling off her drive. She told her that her husband would be happy to go over and do her drive, too. (That’s what husbands are for?)

But as for me, I’ll go with the flow. Shovel or not. Serve if the need is there. Flow over or past life’s little obstacles. If we are living in the Spirit, we just flow.

Someone I read last week talking about mixing young people and old people and talking to the older people said, “Don’t say ‘in my day’, your day is over.’ “

That put me in the proper mind to understand this thought from Søren Kierkegaard:

The path of an honest fighter is a difficult one. And when the fighter grows cool in the evening of his life this is still no excuse to retire into games and amusement. Whoever remains faithful to his decision will realize that his whole life is a struggle. Such a person does not fall into the temptation of proudly telling others of what he has done with his life. Nor will he talk about the “great decisions” he has made. He knows full well that at decisive moments you have to renew your resolve again and again and that this alone makes good the decision and the decision good.

Even for us older Boomers, it’s not for reliving the old days. This is a new day. New decisions. Relating to new people. Continuing to help and guide young people. Making good health and social decisions.

The one thing I miss about moving to another state and into a 55+ community is the mix of people. And no more soccer to keep me young. And my Yoga class mixed teens with 80 and even 90 somethings. I think of all the families in the community, there are only three or four not white. And, of course, no kids. No mix of cultures and ages. But as Covid winds down, there will be more opportunities.

We are leaving Indianapolis today heading for Ohio for a couple of days before heading home.

The trip started with picking up our grandson after baseball practice. Then it was on to Indianapolis to watch our granddaughter in a big swim meet. Hundreds of kids competing. A joy to watch them each get their chance.

Today the car points back to the city we left for dinner with old friends and then a funeral for one of my brothers. Like often happens, he got sick and was gone in three weeks or so.

A generation goes. A generation comes. We need to reflect on that occasionally. Especially on what we have done and are doing to prepare and encourage that new generation. That’s our job.