Archive for the ‘emotions’ Category

« Older Entries

Feelings of Loss

July 1, 2026

I suppose there’s a cosmic justice. I’ve been leading grief support groups for some time. This meant learning the experiences of grief in order to guide others.

Then it strikes home.

Around the turn of the century, I changed careers into trade magazine media then quickly adapted into blogging (and podcasting and the like). The early 00’s era witnessed a number of Silicon Valley tech bloggers. I was Midwestern Industrial tech, so orders of magnitude smaller market than the people who became my remote mentors.

One passed away far too soon last week. I read Om Malik’s work for decades. He was an innovator, thoughtful, generous. I’m still digesting the news.

I became involved with an association of suppliers of industrial software about the same time. I had work with that software in a previous career. I devoted hours of time and effort as part of the organization. The organization grew vibrant and inevitably diminished. Some of the supporting companies went out of business. Others lost interest in  supporting an industry association. Today news came that the association closed. Another slice of my life gone.

It’s not the same as losing family or friends. But today I feel a bit at a loss.

Posted in emotions | Leave a Comment »

Smiling Faces, Tell Lies

June 24, 2026

I pondered yesterday about plastic love. Plastic smiles.

“Smiling Faces Sometimes,” a pop song from 1971 told it—Smiling faces, tell lies…

A young man told me when I was also a young man that everyone has a mask. He endeavored at every meeting to remove the other’s mask.

I wondered if our smiles were only a plastic ornament when we greet someone.

What if our smiles, rather than superficial, attempt to mask deeper emotions? Contempt? Despair? Anxiety? Insecurity?

The song continued—The eyes tell the truth.

I’m not so cynical as to think everyone I meet is masking something. I do think that every person needs the respect of our focus and attention. And those times we sense something deeper, perhaps a kind word will work a miracle.

Perhaps we also need to pay attention to our own smiling faces. What are we masking that must be dealt with?

Posted in Attitude, Compassion, emotions | Leave a Comment »

Who Is Your Master?

February 13, 2026

That question may have brought to mind Jesus’s observation about deciding between money/possessions and God.

I another decision. This from Epictetus. “Any person capable of angering you becomes your master.”

When I realize someone is great at pulling my chain, I avoid them if at all possible. Perhaps that person (or anonymous social media poster) is that person. Another reason to avoid social media.

Realize what holds mastery over you. Focus on what’s important.

Enter email address on the right and click follow to receive updates via email. I will never spam you. I’m not in that business! Thank you.

Posted in Awareness, discernment, emotions | Leave a Comment »

Negative News and Anxiety

February 5, 2026

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?—Jesus

Researchers continue to observe effects on people from certain smart phone behaviors. The studies expanded following publication of Jonathon Haidt’s The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness. 

Higher levels of doomscrolling were associated with significantly higher existential anxiety. In other words, the more you consume negative news, the more likely you are to feel uncertain about life’s meaning and your place in the world. We can’t say doomscrolling causes anxiety. It may be that anxious individuals are drawn to negative content. Either way, the relationship is strong enough to warrant attention.

There is a guy I talk with regularly at the fitness center. He’s Bob. He knows everyone. He’s Baptist, so most likely evangelical. I’m Methodist, so definitely Wesleyan. Similar, but different. Every fitness center I’ve used has TVs. They ask us not to turn it off. I mute it when I’m there. I was benchpressing dumbbells. He was on a machine. He looks up at the TV. “I hate those things. The news only serves to raise your negative emotions to make you feel bad.” I agreed. I have not watched TV news for 30 years with only a few exceptions (when visiting a friend).

We know what’s going on in the world. We don’t dwell on it. We follow Jesus’s teaching about worry and anxiety. They get us nowhere. They interfere with our life as Jesus-followers where we should be helping others.

Jesus didn’t say Follow me—to the sofa to watch TV news or doom scroll your smartphone. It was more like Follow me—and do as I have taught.

Enter email address on the right and click follow to receive updates via email. I will never spam you. I’m not in that business! Thank you.

Posted in Attention, Attitude, emotions | Leave a Comment »

Where Conflicts Arise

January 22, 2026

Looking for some common-sense deep psychology? Try reading the early Jesus-followers. Try this insight from James in his circular letter to the first gatherings of followers. This also gives us some insight into the first churches. Their problems were not unlike ours.

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

My current meditation teacher is leading us into exploration of thoughts and feelings in our sits. We learn to sit in awareness and observe. Then, perhaps, we label those thoughts and feelings—memories, plans, imaginings, for example. We learn that these things arise. We also learn to observe and recognize them. But not to let them monopolize us.

Do we desire something? Recognize it. Deal with it. Let it drift away. Through awareness we prevent it from grabbing our inner powers and derailing our spiritual path.

Let us check our motives and desires. Are we focused only on ourselves? Are we focused on what we desire for others? That’s entirely different. Evaluate your motives. Intentionally push them toward God’s wishes.

Enter email address on the right and click follow to receive updates via email. I will never spam you. I’m not in that business! Thank you.

Posted in emotions, Intention, Wisdom | Leave a Comment »

Anger

November 19, 2025

Why do smart people do stupid things? Ryan Holliday asks this in his Daily Stoic newsletter. It’s a question that jarred me. As an introvert, I feel as if I recall every stupid thing I’ve ever done. (Not saying I’m smart, but I do stupid things.)

Holliday cites the Roman philosopher Seneca, who says that anger makes us stupid.

I cite my favorite, John Climacus, aka St. John of the Ladder. In our metaphorical climb up the ladder to spiritual wholeness, anger is viewed as one of the passions that needed to be overcome.

  • Anger disturbs inner peace and impedes prayer
  • It’s one of the obstacles to achieving apatheia (freedom from destructive passions)
  • Even “righteous anger” needed to be carefully guarded against

It’s not that we’ll never experience anger. It’s an emotion that will flare like a bonfire within us. We must not lose our self-awareness. When we see these flaring up within, we need the habit of the deep breath and pause. Righteous anger can move us to make necessary change. But even it can consume us and destroy our relationships—with God, as well as with other people.

Enter email address on the right and click follow to receive updates via email. I will never spam you. I’m not in that business! Thank you.

Posted in Awareness, emotions | Leave a Comment »

Engaging Doubt

October 22, 2025

Sometimes circumstances drive us into wondering what it’s all about. God seems somewhere between distant and uncaring. We say we follow Jesus, but his words don’t reach into us like they once did.

Our soul is enveloped in a cloud of doubt.

I think this is the moment Jesus waits for. I think he appreciated the honesty of the man who shouted, “I believe, help me in my unbelief.” Jesus realizes that in doubt, we are now open to discussion. This is exactly the time to meet with him. Our minds are no longer filled with untruth and lies and cultural manipulations. It’s almost like beginner’s mind.

Now, in our doubt, Jesus words can begin to slice through the fog like the beam of a lighthouse along the ocean’s shore. Sometimes barely noticeable; sometimes penetrating.

This is when we are open to new ideas. New beginnings. If only in our doubt, we can still see.

Enter email address on the right and click follow to receive updates via email. I will never spam you. I’m not in that business! Thank you.

Posted in emotions, Faith, Wisdom | Leave a Comment »

One Tin Soldier

September 26, 2025

So much hate spills out into our consciousness. Do people think that they can spew hate without consequence? It’s amazing how much energy we expend justifying ourselves.

Ponder this song from my youth:

Go ahead and hate your neighbor

Go ahead and cheat a friend

Do it in the name of heaven,

You can justify it in the end.

There won’t be any trumpets sounding

Come the judgement day.

On the bloody morning after

One tin soldier rides away.

(The Legend of Billy Jack, Peter, Paul, and Mary/Coven; author: peaceluvandbass)

Posted in Compassion, emotions, Ethics, Justice, Love, Peace | Leave a Comment »

Handling Anger

April 2, 2025

Be angry, but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not make room for the devil. —Ephesians

This thought is psychology genius. The writer grasps the depths of human emotion bringing it to light within the spiritual tradition.

Be Angry

Anger is going to visit us. We cannot avoid it. Even recognizing what triggers our anger response does not prevent the emotion.

Do Not Sin

This may be the hard part. When anger visits, what is our response? Can we find a way to avoid the explosion where words and actions create inevitable separation and hurt?

Therapists and gurus advise pausing. Good luck trying that at times. But it’s true. A pause, a breath helps. Cultivating a habit of self awareness also helps. My current meditation teacher, Henry Shukman, says, “We all have emotions. Through meditation we can become less identified with it and simply observers of it.”

Do Not Let The Sun Go Down On Your Anger

One of the most revered of the Desert Fathers, Abba Poeman, when asked about dwelling on these emotions, said, “The axe cannot cut down a tree by itself.”

Do not grab that axe handle of anger and use it. Let it lie. Get over it however works for you. Make any necessary apologies. (Hint: just say “I apologize” or “I am so sorry” and do not add any explanation.)

Do Not Make Room For The Devil

The longer we sit in anger, the more likely that our personality will change. We can become one of those bitter, offensive people whom we avoid. We draw apart from God. Prayer becomes impossible. Other people annoy us.

Close that door before it’s too late.

Posted in Attitude, emotions | Leave a Comment »

Letting Emotions Go

March 21, 2025

We are all subject to a parade of emotions through our awareness. Anger, envy, pride, lust, listlessness, greed. These provoke us.

I love to read the Desert Fathers. They were early Jesus-followers trying to figure it all out. They were strange at times. We must remember they were writing to other monks and not to us. But wisdom may be gleaned from their thinking.

A brother became concerned about whether these random thoughts and emotions were sinful and would prevent his communion with God.

He asked Abba Poeman about this. And the “old man” said, “An axe cannot cut down the tree by itself.”

OK, I’ll provide an explanation.

The thought or emotion by itself won’t grow and harm you. But, if you metaphorically grab that axe, that is, dwell on the emotion, thinking constantly, letting it take up active residence in your life, then you are ripe for sin.

I have anger; I am not anger.

I have thoughts of lust; I am not a lustful person.

I see someone’s possession; I am not a person dwelling on thoughts of needing also that possession.

Become aware of the emotion attacking you. Intentionally let it go. Ignore it or divert your attention elsewhere and let it slide away unwanted and uncared for.

Posted in emotions, Wisdom | Leave a Comment »

« Older Entries