Archive for the ‘emotions’ Category

She Walks in Beauty

May 10, 2017
She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that’s best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes;
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
Lord Byron

“Discover what makes you beautiful!” shouts a sign outside a store amongst the clamor of the Las Vegas strip.

The picture shows three overly made up young women with lips so bright red and painted to be so large that they appear to take over the entire face.

Obviously, I’m no judge of beauty by any current fads going around. But trust me, that wasn’t. But I know from reading ancient literature that women have been adorning themselves in order to attract attention or feel more beautiful for thousands of years.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. –Proverbs

Maybe that was what Paul was thinking when he wrote that he preferred that women cover their hair in worship out of respect for God.

Regardless, pictures lie, but we all know a beautiful person when we meet one. The woman Byron described was wearing black in mourning, but her beauty transcended clothes and adornment. Beauty truly does come from within.

How Do You Use Social Media

April 19, 2017

“All it takes is a tweet from one angry mom.” Overheard on a sports talk show.

One of the best services we can perform is to get involved with youth sports. Coach, referee, manager.

Working with kids at all ages can be satisfying if done with the right end in mind. And that end is human development. Kids are taught responsibility, team work, to perform when people are watching. They get to run and jump and learn a skill.

I’ve devoted 30 years to refereeing soccer and teaching and mentoring new referees. I’ve seen kids at 13 grow into 16s who can make decisions, control their emotions (tough at that age), manage people situations. I keep hoping one will eventually be refereeing on TV, but even so, they’ve become better people because of it.

But I’ve seen the worst beginning when I was about 16 and umpiring baseball and softball in my hometown.

And I thought–why would someone want to coach these days. Or even referee. After all, it only takes one tweet from an angry mom. Or one Facebook post from that angry mom. And your reputation goes down the toilet. People pile on whether they know anything or not.

Social psychologists, I suppose, study why people sitting alone somewhere with Internet access just spout off with any emotion that crosses their awareness. Face-to-face is harder. Online is easy.

I remember when TV came along and the pundits were talking about how this new communications medium can lift the collective intelligence and knowledge of the population. And we just keep sinking to new lows with every new way of communicating.

We could do things that are motivating in a positive way. We could build people up. We could be sympathetic to the plight of people.

Or, we can just bask in raw emotion and “let it all hang out.”

The Words of My Mouth And The Meditations of My Heart

February 28, 2017

Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable to you, O Lord, my strength and my redeemer. –Psalm 19

Saw in a cartoon strip. Two 50-something men sitting in a bar. Old friends. One is a priest. Woman walks up who is an old friend not seen for many years. “Gosh, Nicole, you look, er, wonderful.”

The man turns to his friend, the priest, “Forgive me Father, for I am about to sin.”

“I don’t do funerals,” replied the priest.

My wife is in a small group studying the Sermon on the Mount. They hit the divorce teaching of Jesus. We talk about it. Not to get one, of course, but to consider the current cultural environment.

For example, the Religious Right chose an issue it thought would get the most emotional allegiance from politically conservative Christians. It did not choose divorce. In fact, it doesn’t even have a divorce teaching. One of the founders was quite frank about it–too many people are divorced and accept it as just a part of living. No big deal.

And the legal reason back in Jesus’ day for divorce was–adultery.

Jesus, when asked one of those trick questions, said that Moses put in a law about divorce because humans are sinful. But God didn’t create us to have disposable spouses. Then Jesus talked about the meditations of our heart.

In fact, Jesus said, just to contemplate how “wonderful” another person is in a sexual attitude is the same thing as adultery.

Words can be cruel things that cannot be recalled. The meditations of our heart, though, corrupt our very soul. That’s like yesterday’s teaching. Where we set our mind is the direction we’ll go. We become what we think about. Don’t let your imagination get carried away.

Lonely or Alone – There Is A Big Difference

October 6, 2016

Here I am again in this mean old town
And you’re so far away from me
And where are you when the sun goes down
You’re so far away from me

So far away from me
So far I just can’t see
So far away from me
You’re so far away from me

–Dire Straits

Have you ever felt lonely? Not just a fleeting  sense of being alone, maybe on a trip. But really lonely. The kind you feel in your gut. The kind that just settles into your bones like a cold drizzle in the late fall.

I imagine that it is a rare human who has never felt that. But it could just be me.

David put it in a Psalm (22)–kind of a prayer wrapped in a song. Jesus quoted this song just before he died.

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

Why are you so far from helping me, from the words of my groaning?

O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer; and by night, but find no rest.

It doesn’t have to end there. I’ve been reading lately in some books on personal psychology. Studies are showing that you need to somehow, slowly begin to make decisions. Decide to go out, for example. Talk to the local barista. Someone.

David didn’t end with that deep feeling. He remembered what God had set before him. The promises that God would fulfill if David kept his end. He wrote later (23)

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside still waters; he restores my soul.

We sense the presence of God. We release the feelings of loneliness.

Paradoxically, we sense the presence of God often by being alone. Remember how Jesus often withdrew from the group to go off to a lonely spot to be alone with his Father? When we go off to be alone with the Father in prayer or meditation, it actually works to bring us out of that shell of loneliness. We can also then go out and meet people.

What Is It Like To Live A Life In Anger?

September 29, 2016

“How do people live with themselves being angry all the time?”

Saw this on Facebook. A guy I know. Nice guy. Got mad at the woman making a sandwich for him. Felt bad all day.

Do you know that feeling? I do. I hate myself (well, maybe not that strong, but you get the idea) when I allow a temporary emotion create a rift–even when I don’t know the other person.

Mostly I smile and greet people and try to add a little light into their day. Then there are times.

But my friend asks a very perceptive question.

How do people live with themselves when they are always angry? Or, how to people who live with them or deal with them often live with it?

It must be terrible to never feel good. To never feel the love of God breaking through. Oh, they may talk about God, but can they really feel love through the anger? How sad to waste a life like that.

It’s even worse than the gloomy guy who always has something negative to say. My health is bad and the doctors are stupid. Or, the new boss is as big a jerk as the last one (pattern?).

I try to avoid the downer people. But the angry people, they can ruin a good day. Either they provoke anger in response, or at best create feelings of anxiety, distrust, or distance.

I have no advice. It’s difficult to conjure up sympathy. That deep seated anger comes from some emotion probably brewing for years. Or maybe a recent medical condition.

Best is to avoid them. But if they are family or co-worker, best is to try to step back mentally and gain perspective. “I’m not going to let them ruin my day.”

But it must be tough to live in a state of continual anger. Guts all worked up. Nothing goes right. People avoid you. Sad.