Someone who is lactose intolerant, “But I can eat Dairy Queen ice cream, since it is not really ‘dairy.’”
Sign on a flower bed, “Love grows here.” The flowers are plastic.
How are the smiles that greet you at your church? Artificial or warm?
How are your (my) greetings? Not genuine? Plastic?
How can you (I) be the real thing?
Kevin Meyer, retired manufacturing executive and Lean leader, recently wrote:
Jon Miller wrote something a few years ago at Gemba Academy that has stayed with me. The Toyota Way’s second pillar is universally translated as “respect for people,” but the original Japanese is ningensei (人間性), which means “human nature.” The distinction matters more than it appears. “Respect for people” is a floor — be courteous, invest in training, don’t humiliate anyone in public. Most organizations can claim this with a straight face. “Respect for human nature” asks something harder: what are people fundamentally capable of, and what conditions allow that capability to develop?
I have tried to incorporate Lean principles wherever I could. It teaches one to simplify. And also not to become so enamored with technology that we lose sight of people. I think this works in manufacturing, business, and nonprofit/church organizations. How can we say we follow Jesus and not respect human nature?
Meyer refers to Inamori Kazuo, who applied these questions consistently across Kyocera, KDDI, and his JAL turnaround. They read simply. They aren’t.
A key phrase that struck me with force: most ethical failures in business come from leaders who shift their moral standards depending on the role they’re in. We’ve seen it in churches, too.
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Linus, the philosopher from Peanuts cartoons, once proclaimed, I love humanity, it’s people I can’t stand.
Reading from my spiritual training list—G.K. Chesterton’s Orthodoxy, I still like Liberalism, but it’s Liberals I can’t stand. (Note: written in early 20th Century England, so definitions vary.)
Listening to many people in my travels and reading—I could be OK with Christianity, but it’s Christians I don’t like.
I hope you (and I) don’t resemble that remark.
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Hardly surprising if you were Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung who coined the term synchronicity. I thought about my “task” when responding to people who post comments to social media or drop an offensive comment in a conversation. The thoughts went to responding through curiosity not judging. Then I looked at using questions.
Last night (as I write this), we saw a performance of Rogers and Hammerstein’s South Pacific. We’ve seen it several times over the years. I remembered it, yet I forgot parts. Like this song (written in the late 1940s) that explores hate and racial fears. Ideas compounding upon each other never cease to amaze me.
I offer the lyrics to You’ve Got To Be Carefully Taught by Rogers and Hammerstein from South Pacific for contemplation.
You’ve got to be taught to hate and fear,
You’ve got to be taught from year to year,
It’s got to be drummed in your dear little ear—
You’ve got to be carefully taught!
You’ve got to be taught to be afraid
Of people whose eyes are oddly made,
And people whose skin is a different shade—
You’ve got to be carefully taught.
You’ve got to be taught before it’s too late,
Before you are six or seven or eight,
To hate all the people your relatives hate—
You’ve got to be carefully taught!
You’ve got to be carefully taught!
I was cheated before
And I’m cheated again
By a mean little world
Of mean little men.
And the one chance for me
Is the life I know best.
To be on an island
And to hell with the rest.
I will cling to this island
Like a tree or a stone,
I will cling to this island
And be free—and alone.
[Previously posted December 24, 2025. Seems to go with the past three posts. Probably something I need to be reminded of more often than every six months.]
The post yesterday looked at a man unafraid to face people who hate him only because of his skin color. A black jazz musician named Darryl Davis who found a type of ministry engaging in conversations with white men who are active neo-nazis or ku klux klan members.
Shortly after posting that, a video popped up on my fitness and nutrition app (called the Pump Club founded by Arnold Schwarzenegger, it guides me in my resistance training). I have to admit that I never had posters of Arnold in his prime doing muscle poses. If I had lived in California, I’m not sure I’d have voted for him to be the “Governator.” I’ve only see two of his movies, and only one intentionally. But I’ve come to respect his nonprofit work, especially building the fitness and esteem of young people.
He directly addresses hate in this YouTube video. It is a powerful message.
If you haven’t guessed it yet, I believe that spreading hate and divisiveness is the polar opposite of the message we should be living as Jesus followers. We should be reconciling people as much as we can. Being always successful? Not likely. But we aren’t graded on success. We are graded on where our heart is.
In this Christmas season, in fact this publishes on Christmas Eve, let us dedicate ourselves anew to the Prince of Peace.
[Previously posted in December 2025. Seems to go along with the previous two posts.]
The conversation occurred between a black jazz musician and a white member of the Ku Klux Klan. The white man asked, “Why should I listen to you? You’re just a drive-by shooter and gang-banger.”
“Because I’m black?” replied the musician. “Perhaps that’s just where they live. On the other hand, you must be a serial killer. David Berkowitz, Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, I can’t think of one black serial killer.”
“That’s not fair,” came the reply.
The breakthrough created a conversation. Perhaps not a conversion. But a start. Breaking through stereotypes leads to better conversations. Perhaps we can see other humans as, well, human.
Thinking of peaceful relationships hopefully leading to joy during this Christmas Season (some people’s experience of Advent), I reflected on this podcast episode of Adam Grant’s Rethinking. (I’ve previously recommended his book.) The only link I could find was to the podcast app I use on iOS. You can find it, I’m sure, on Apple podcasts.
This is the description of the episode. I highly recommend listening. The Ku Klux Klan is one of the tightest-knit White supremacist groups in America—once someone joins, they’re usually in for life. But since the 1980s, over 200 members have renounced their affiliation, and all give credit to the same man: a Black jazz musician named Daryl Davis. In this episode, Adam is joined by Daryl and Jeff Schoep, a former leader of the largest neo-Nazi group in the US whose life and mind were changed by meeting and befriending Daryl. They discuss techniques for challenging ignorance and prejudice, analyze the cognitive dissonance experienced by members of extremist groups, and reflect on the conversations with Daryl that helped Jeff think again. They also explore the limits of empathy and curiosity.
I cannot explain how some people come to feel hatred toward other groups. I’ve read many books and papers. More to my interest concerns having civil conversations across divisions. As a liberal living in a very conservative area, I’ve had some practice. It’s a continuing education process. How can you reach out and gently help others break stereotypes? Perhaps also for me.
Some links for Host & Guest
Adam Grant (Instagram: @adamgrant | LinkedIn: @adammgrant | Website: https://adamgrant.net/)
Daryl Davis (Instagram: @realdaryldavis | Website: https://www.daryldavis.com/)
Jeff Schoep (Instagram: @jeff_schoep | Website: https://jeffschoep.com/)
Links
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Yesterday’s thought concerned how my job consists not of running around trying to “correct” everyone whose opinions were “wrong.” Rather, my job assigned by Jesus is to love others, even those who think and act differently from me.
This reminded me of one of my favorite TV scenes. Ted Lasso, the American Midwestern football coach, finds himself in England as coach of a Premier League soccer club. The wife gained possession of the club through a divorce from a rather nasty guy—Rupert.
The scene is the favorite club pub. Ted handles some darts. “You all like this game over here, don’t you?” he says as he tosses a couple of the darts at the board—right-handed. He and Rupert settle on a bet with major consequences for the club.
“Oh, I forgot, I’m left-handed,” admits Ted. They proceed to the climax where Ted needs three perfect throws. He tells a story of being underestimated his whole life and seeing a quote while taking his son to school—“Be curious, not judgmental.”
He hits the first one. “You see, if you’d been curious rather than judgmental, you’d have asked if I’d ever played darts before.”
“I would have said, ‘Yes, sir. Every Sunday afternoon with my dad from age 10 to 16…’ “
Research reveals the best approach to those potentially confrontational conversations is to be curious, not judgmental. Ask questions.
Curiosity, not judgmental, means truly listening to the person’s responses. You show concern and attempt at understanding. Questions asked calmly, not confrontationally. Do not sound like a defense attorney cross-examining a prosecution witness.
Be curious, not judgmental. That’s really hard for some of us. But exceptionally useful.
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Jesus’ followers asked him about greatest in his kingdom. They were constantly confused between what they had been taught about a coming kingdom on earth where the king of Israel would rule and what Jesus seemed to be teaching about a new kind of kingdom.
At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”
Jesus answered a couple of ways. He first addressed what ancients have called the “beginner’s mind.” In other words, we must clear our minds of preconceived ideas and opinions to accept Jesus’ teachings.
He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.”
He did not stop there. Taking a second look at the relationship of children to us, he said,
“If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.”
That means people such as I who write these blogs and others who teach others no matter where and what bear significant responsibility for what we teach. Are we passing along misinformation and ill-formed opinions we’ve picked up from spurious sources? Are we studying and meditating and trying to pass along spiritual truths compatible with Jesus’ teachings?
It’s worth pausing to reflect periodically assuring we’re keeping to the path.
Enter email address on the right and click follow to receive updates via email. I will never spam you. I’m not in that business! Thank you. You can also check out my book list and my 10-part video series on Romans as a Guid to Spiritual Formation.
How would you rate the morals of our (your) nation’s leaders? Political (at all levels)? Business? Church? Community?
Let’s be honest for a bit. How are your (my) morals holding up in everyday transactions?
A record-high 56% of Americans say moral values in the U.S. are “poor,” according to a Gallup poll out this morning.
That’s up 12 points from last year.
80% say moral values are “getting worse” — 14 points higher than ’25.
Organizational psychologist and podcaster Adam Grant has lately talked of observing much of the Dark Triad—narcissism, Machiavellianism, psychopathy. The first focus only on themselves; the second manipulate others for their own advancement; the last have no empathy or feelings for others. Some psychologists I’ve heard consider these on a continuum where we all may exhibit a bit of each at times, but that some people slide all the way from an annoying amount to actual diagnosable disorders.
Grant lamented if only we could get leaders at all levels who were working for the good of everyone instead of exhibiting some or all of these traits.
When you are choosing leaders for your organization or even for voting, do you recognize these dysfunctional traits?
Perhaps an even more important reflection is to turn the mirror on ourselves. Where do we stand? Do we need to seek help? Maybe we need therapy? Mostly we need the usual spiritual formation route of recognizing where we fall short and seeking help. Then working on it day-by-day.
Gallup didn’t ask me. I’m not impressed with the moral fiber of most people I read about in the news or see on social media. On the other hand, most of the people I come into contact with through business or social or just casually are OK. I’ve dealt with people in the Dark Triad in my life. That’s not fun. I’m glad most people are not that way.
Can you live with the complexity of humans?
I know many people who express instant visceral dislike for certain people For them, the reaction tends to be either/or. Sometimes the radar is a bit off. They like someone, perhaps even adore or admire. Then a flaw appears in the statue of the hero.
Some are more like I am—enjoy the complexity of people. Some are really good; some are seemingly inherently evil. Most do good things, yet have some flaws. Is it possible to admire the good while recognizing the bad. I will almost always extend grace and trust initially letting the other prove which way to go.
These thoughts came from an essay by Brian Morykon of Renovaré:
They say don’t meet your heroes, especially spiritual writers. I say meet them. Let your illusions be shattered, and the complex reality that is a real person make you praise God who brings forth living water out of dust. Your heroes don’t have to be alive to meet them, either. Find them in the Bible. Thank God Scripture isn’t stained glass, untouchable and aloof. It’s alive with extraordinary people of ordinary clay, cracked vessels through whom the light of God beams out.
The intriguing thing about people stories in both the Hebrew and Christian scriptures lies in their complex humanity. Even Moses and Abraham are not treated “with kid gloves.” Both heroes of the Jewish faith are presented with flaws and all. Even Jesus cursed a fig tree seemingly all out of character. Certainly “the Twelve” failed to show hero qualities until after the resurrection.
Thanks to my parents, I often dwell on those parts of me that fall far short of heroic…or even good. All of us need to recognize our own and others’ complexities. We have our good days and bad days. On balance, what is our contribution toward making disciples of Jesus?
Gary Mintchell
Faith Venture 