Archive for the ‘Awareness’ Category

Beware Smoldering Resentment

March 3, 2020

I confess, I have an addiction—to British murder mysteries on TV. I am grateful for Amazon Prime and BritBox 😉

A well written murder mystery probes into some of the darkness of emotions. In an old episode of Midsomer Murders, the writers probed the shouldering (guess I should use British spelling) resentment that two women had for their mothers. Both of the mothers had a deviant sexual side that affected the daughters for different reasons—but with the same effect, namely murder.

As we meditate and work on our own self-awareness, these smoldering emotions perhaps lying below consciousness but very real nonetheless can erupt much like a volcano with smoldering lava deep inside. These forces that can, with a subtle shift of rock and pressure, spew out destruction.

Often people outside us can detect deep-seated resentment in us. There is a stare of intensity, quickness to anger, inability to relate to others.

Check on your own state. Quench the smoldering embers within. Work on gratitude, forgiveness (for yourself as well as others), accepting grace.

Forcing Yourself Into a Category

February 11, 2020

Yesterday I wrote about how we construct theories and categories and then shove people into them. It’s easier to deal with people if we can make them a “type” and then dismiss them if they don’t fit into “our” category.

However, I started a new book on the Enneagram during yesterday’s flight to Germany. (I’m sitting in my hotel room overlooking the famous “fair grounds” of the Hannover Messe as I write this. Oh, yes, and on probably 4 hours of sleep on the plane. If this is incoherent, we’ll blame that…)

The purpose of studying the enneagram is not to determine your type and stop there. Or even to arbitrarily assign someone else to a type and stop there.

What really happens to us is that we categorize ourselves. We’re stupid. Or clumsy. Or unattractive. Or didn’t have the breaks that rich kids had. Or…whatever.

If we just had but a wise guide to lead us through the enneagram, we could develop an awareness of the tactics we adopted as kids in order to survive our circumstances. Further, we could see that we are still locked into those tactics and strategies and feelings, and that these are inhibiting our growth and our relationships.

I think every spiritual writer I have studied has at some point taught the importance of self-awareness. What a spiritual gift we have when we can see ourselves from the outside in and then change from the inside out.

Becoming Aware

May 24, 2019

Have you ever taken a walk with a small child who stops and studies everything along the way?

Better still, do you remember being a child and stopping to observe things with wonder and amazement? An insect making its way across the blades of grass. The pattern of veins in a leaf. The formation of clouds in the sky.

The American writer Henry Miller put it this way, “The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.

Here we step into awareness. We are not trapped within an unfeeling, uncaring shell. We shatter the shell and bring such wonder and amazement into our experience.

We expand awareness to include other people. For so many of us, other people are an intrusion, an annoyance.

Pausing to become really aware of others, their feelings, desires, hurts, wisdom. There is so much to be learned and experienced.

During the Psychedelic Sixties many songs were sung about blowing your mind. They probably referred to chemical substances in one way or another.

Awareness blows your mind in a completely different way. At this very moment, I’m looking at the intricate arrangement of petals on the flower of a rhododendron. Beauty in fragility with multi-shades of pink.

The handiwork of God in everything.

Learning to Live in the Present Moment

April 30, 2019

Bring our awareness just to the present moment.

It’s a decision. We are mindful that we are alive just for this breath.

Yes, we have much to do, places to go, people to meet.

We can allow ourselves to sit in a fog of worry, feeling overwhelmed by life.

But in the moment we have only now. This task. This call. This breath to take.

It’s our choice.

That is freedom.

Reading Wendy Suzuki’s Healthy Brain, Happy Life a story partly about brain science and partly about her life. She was totally wrapped up in achieving the next thing. Living in the future.

Then she discovered the present moment. Awareness.

And she actually accomplished more.

And lived a more healthy life.

And being a brain scientist understood that she actually changed the physical structure of her brain.

And you can, too, change your brain and change your life. And get more done.

Just take a breath and become aware of now.

Grow Your Brain

April 22, 2019

Myth: You only use 10% of your brain.

Myth: Your brain stops growing after you reach adulthood.

Your brain can continue to grow until you die. And you have influence over either growing or atrophying.

I’ve read several books on brain science. Some get pretty involved and technical.

Here is a book that combines brain science written by a PhD neuroscientist who has devoted a lifetime (so far) researching the brain with practical advice for your own personal brain development. The book is approachable for anyone. Younger students, even.

Healthy Brain, Happy Life: A Personal Program to Activate Your Brain & Do Everything Better, by Wendy Suzuki, PhD.

Here’s a hint about a great deal of the story–she is both a leading neuroscience researcher as a full professor at NYU and a certified fitness instructor.

The foundation of the story is neuroscience. But the real story is one of personal development about how she discovered how exercise leading to better eating leading to meditation leading to developing a spiritual side all played a part in her growth. And led to more research in the lab on brain plasticity–how it continues to grow.

It goes to show scientifically that spiritual practices must involve the entire body. And, in so doing, your brain can retain some youthfulness and you can have a better life.

Perhaps we could think of these bullet points as sort of a progression layering upon each other for personal development:

  • Knowledge
  • Exercise
  • Healthy eating
  • Meditation
  • Spiritual development
  • (Iterate)

Get the book, digest it, pick some of her practical tips for implementing the lesson. Grow your brain and grow your life.

Understand Desire

February 28, 2019

We see something. Maybe a picture in a magazine or online. Maybe as we are walking at a shopping center.

Suddenly our attention focuses and we are overcome with an emotion of really wanting that object. That is called desire.

Some continually give in to desire and rush out to buy.

Then we have it. Now what?

Maybe we have yielded many times, and our credit card accounts are filled.

So maybe we have enough awareness that when we have the feeling, we see it and try to suppress it. But the feeling remains just below consciousness waiting only for a trigger thought to jump right back into consciousness. It refuses to go away.

Then we awaken. We become aware of the entire scope of the situation. We can see the object. Study it. Evaluate the joy or happiness that it might bring. Or not bring.

Maybe we buy. Or maybe we don’t. But we see reality. We see that something external to us won’t really bring a change of life. They don’t bring happiness. And then awareness brings happiness along with it.

Restful Awareness

February 27, 2019

We have paused our busy-ness. Restful, we become aware.

Aware of the space we occupy. Aware that there are feelings, thoughts, emotions within us. They are not us. Aware even of God.

We can see, perhaps, where our words and our actions diverge. We see clearly saying we love everyone as we are taught in church. Yet, we see our actions where we do not love everyone. We can see where we treat some others as less than human. They are not like us.

Perhaps we become aware that our anxieties are just something within us. We can study them. Under the microscope, they slowly or quickly melt away.

The practice of meditation slowly transforms the mind just as it physically transforms the brain.

Philosophers, theologians, and poets for millennia have revealed the power that comes when we can see ourselves for what we are and thereby achieve a life of awareness.

People Who Live In Glass Houses

February 25, 2019

While deep into our spiritual practice of study, isn’t it curious how some verses of the Bible just seem to be as if in bold, 24-point type while others seem to be in fine print italic to our eyes?

We will see a verse that applies not to us but to other people and say to ourselves (and often anyone who will listen), “Ah, ha! See how the Bible says those people are sinful and engaged in sinful practices!”

Then there is the verse that applies to ourselves. Yet, we cannot see. It’s as if the print were so small that we just scan right past it.

There are Christian leaders who have divorced a woman and married again–often to someone much younger. Jesus expressly told us not to do that. Yet, is there a church that preaches against that? (I am not saying that is a bad thing, mind you.)

Yet, these same people who have been forgiven by the church point to other people about whom Jesus was silent and deny them the humanity of leadership and sacrament.

We humans are so representative of the person described by Jesus who is so concerned about the speck in another’s eye that they ignore the log in their own.

It is time to pray ourselves out of such hypocrisy. Pray for self-awareness. The first step to repentance. Perhaps our study needs to be more focused on those verses that apply to us and less on those that apply to others.

Spiritual Practice of Giving

February 11, 2019

Why do we practice acts of charity? Giving money to people or organizations?

This is definitely a spiritual practice.

Jesus told the rich young man who followed all the commandments (one wonders if he was as perfect as he let on) and who still felt far from perfect, “Go, sell all your possessions, give the money to the poor, and follow me.”

The young man didn’t want to be that perfect!

I discovered the Jesuit priest and therapist Anthony de Mello more than 30 years ago. Recently one of his books was recommended to me, so I am reading Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality again.

De Mello can be brutal. He says to face it. We give out of two motivations. One is selfishness of feeling good about ourselves as helping people less fortunate. Or, we help others by giving to charity, but then we feel good about ourselves doing good.

Awareness of our motivations can help us to notice this trait. Then we can give with the intention of following Jesus. I say that awareness brings us to realization that we are far from perfect but that we are practicing the right things.

When Jesus later explained his story, he pointed out that only God brings the grace that leads to perfection.

Getting Into Balance

January 14, 2019

Personality type testing once again becomes a fad.

Are you and “ISFJ” or a “9”?

(The former being one of the types on the Myers-Briggs Types Indicator; the other one of the 9 types on the Enneagram.)

One use of the Myers-Briggs I have seen is for leadership teams to take the evaluation in order to figure out how to work together. [I have never seen that actually work…]

I took the test as part of someone’s doctoral research on how school board members work together. It didn’t help us any, but the guy received a doctorate.

Once I walked into my pastor’s office. “Our Emmaus team just took the Myers-Briggs to help us work together. We are all ‘FJs’ “(feeling-judgementals-look it up). I replied, “I’m a ‘TP’ ” (thinking-perceptive). He said, “How can you call yourself a Christian and be a TP?”

[Mis]use of the profile, for sure.

The Enneagram is getting popular in some Christian circles right now. It’s not “what’s your sign” but rather “what’s your number”.

Another [mis]use of the evaluation.

I’ve studied both Western and Eastern philosophy. I got rather deep one time into Ayurveda. It does “mind-body” types.

The thing of it is, you don’t study it to find out your type…and then stop. You study it so that you can change some ways you eat or exercise to bring your mind and body into balance. If you are a “pitta” then maybe eat some “kapha” foods to bring yourself into balance.

If you read deeper than your M-B or number, you find a lot of ambivalence. No one is 100% a “9”. There’s a little of every number in all of us. Maybe you are called E (extroverted) but you’re maybe only 16 out of 31 on the scale. One question differently answered and you’d be labeled “I” (introverted).

If you are going to go this route, do yourself a favor and use the tool to bring your personality (and your life) into balance.