Archive for the ‘Attitude’ Category

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »

Thinking Too Much Can Stir Up Anger To Rule You

March 7, 2017

He’s 90 now. An amazing guy. Ran marathons in his 80s. Went mountain backpacking into his 80s. During chats in the steam room at the Y he introduced me to numerous great books.

Life happened. He’s all alone. Don’t often see him.

He’s always angry–at them.

While I was running through the park early one morning I pulled up beside him and slowed down to talk.

“I have lots of time out here to think about things,” he said. “I think about them and what they’re trying to do to me.”

We were just talking about how Paul had warned us about how our thoughts set the direction of our lives here at Faith Venture. I thought about my friend who is now far from the guy I met 16 years ago.

I’m a writer in my “other” profession. Getting well known simply means getting on the radar for publicists and press relations people. I just received a release promoting a book by a guy who is a university professor and “TV Expert.” His book, “Do You Know Your Anger Type?”, is promoted as just the information we need in the age of Trump.

“Let’s face it, everyone gets angry,” says the blurb. “Anger is a normal and acceptable human emotion. Unfortunately, anger is usually expressed in non-productive and unacceptable ways.”

In this book, we will learn:

  • How thoughts determine your emotions.
  • How to control and express your anger.
  • The 12-types of anger.
  • The rules for managing anger.

The concepts and strategies in this book will not only help you with your anger-management, it will also help you understand why you are angry and how to create positive change in your life.

Dr. Peter Sacco is the author. The Rate Your Professor website shows him rated as “hot”. Comments all are that his class is easy, although divided among whether that is a good or bad thing.

I have not read the book, yet. But it is timely. Although, (to the 40% of my readers who are not in the US) not all Americans go around angry all day. Just the loudest ones. The rest of us just go about life as it happens.

I expressed (I think that’s a psychology word) a lot of anger at a stage while growing up. I still remember the spiritual moment when I saw myself from the outside. I thought, “This is stupid.” And from that moment when I was around 12, I’ve always tried to be in control of those negative emotions. It’s why people get the impression I’m calm. Most of the time, anyway.

I practice Paul’s philosophy. I watch what I think about. Where my thoughts dwell. What information I take in.

Maybe this book will help. I’ll let you know. Or–you can read it and let me know. Maybe I’ll even have an opportunity to interview the author. That would be cool.

Posted in Attitude, Awareness, Disciplines, healing | Leave a Comment »

Building Up People As A Personality Trait

March 6, 2017

Wouldn’t it be great if we built people up?

Imagine a dialogue where you are trying to help someone rather than hurt them.

What if leaders at every level were more interested in building up than tearing down?

What if I were more interested in the welfare of others than in mine?

I know that there exist people who don’t agree with that last statement. But as a disciple of Jesus, I try to emulate the teacher. He tried to build up even those whom he knew didn’t really want it. His pointed remarks were aimed at those who built themselves up at the expense of others.

What if I asked of everyone I met today, “How can I help you?” What if we all lived that question?

Let our imaginations dwell on this for a while in the mornings. A great start for the day.

Posted in Attitude, Disciplines | Leave a Comment »

What Form of Sacrifice Works For You

March 2, 2017

Lent began yesterday. Somehow Fat Tuesday and Ash Wednesday just went past me, almost unnoticed. I was not raised in a tradition of emphasizing Lent. My virtual friend, Jon Swanson, has written a book for people like me–Lent for Non-Lent People. You can check it out, if you’re like me.

I guess it was the guy who gave up watermelon for Lent back when I was a kid that emphasized the frivolous nature of such traditions. That was back when Catholics fasted on every Friday. We had two or three Catholic kids in our school. The school cafeteria served either fish sticks or grilled cheese every Friday. I couldn’t stand either one (terribly finicky eater back in those days). Figured I could never become Catholic. Ah, kids and their ideas.

But I digress.

I’ve been reading people’s stories about their Lent experience. Many seem to be turning the fasting or sacrifice idea on its head a little. Instead of giving up something that they normally eat, they are finding ways to serve.

How about that? A special way of serving as a Lenten sacrifice? That sounds intriguing.

As a culture we build up Advent as anticipation of Christmas, but not so much Lent as anticipation of Easter. I guess there are so many secular Christmas songs–usually about snow, friends gathering, food, that sort of thing.

Easter is the end of winter, beginning of spring. Bad weather. Mud. Tornadoes. We’re tired of friends coming over mooching all the food.

I’ve been reading a lot lately about the meaning of the resurrection. How we would not be Christian without it. I am a liberal in many ways, but I never understood liberal theology that couldn’t explain miracles, so they didn’t think a resurrection such as described by all those eye witness writers could have happened.

Bill Hybels just explained his “Do…Done” explanation again last week at Willow Creek. Use it with a seeker who asks. Some people say we get on God’s good side by what we Do. The more we Do the better. That is, until we discover it’s a gerbil wheel getting us no where. Then we discover the Done–what Jesus already has Done for us. We just acknowledge it and believe. It’s so simple.

So Easter–we celebrate the “Done”, the culmination of what began at Christmas.

How do you focus?

Posted in Attitude, Disciplines, Faith | Leave a Comment »

Where You Set Your Mind, So Shall You Go

February 27, 2017

You become what you think about.

It’s Monday. Are you thinking about your week ahead?

What am I going to do this week? What will I work on? Who will I meet? Where will I go? Will I be surprised at the answers come Friday?

Maybe a better question to begin each week is, Who will I be this week?

Earl Nightingale was a radio personality making the first “personal development” recordings on actual records. He devoted his life to seeking wisdom. He discovered the phrase quoted above was repeated by almost every ancient philosopher. It’s the strangest secret, he said.

I’ve been teasing out meaning from Paul’s letter to the Romans. It began to dawn on me in Chapter 7 and then hit me in Chapter 8. “Fix your mind on” was the phrase as translated into English in the New International Version.

Fix your mind on matters of the spirit, and you will find life. Fix your mind on matters of the flesh, and you will find death.

It helps to rise each morning, and after drinking 8 oz. of water and fixing that cup of coffee or tea, sit down and read something spiritual and then contemplate. What shall be my focus today?

I will be [calm, joyful, thoughtful, patient, forceful] today. I will watch for opportunities to serve anyone anywhere.

I will become what I think about.

Posted in Attitude, Disciplines | Leave a Comment »

Have You Lost That Creative Feeling?

February 24, 2017

If you want to hire a creative employee, you’ll have a 98% probability of success by bringing in someone who is 3-5 years old. On the other hand, you’ll have a 2% chance of success by hiring an adult. –attributed to a NASA study

A European speaker at the conference I attended this week opened with this remark. I didn’t try to validate it. It’s almost a truism.

As we age, we so easily fall into ruts. (For the young people, that refers back before all the roads were paved. Wagons and other vehicles would go over the same path and over time grooves would be worn called ruts. So you could just let the horse pull the wagon or take your hands off the steering wheel and the vehicle would just follow the rut.)

Check it out if you’re old enough to read this post.

  • Have you tried any new foods lately?
  • Have you read any books that cause you to stretch your mind?
  • Have you traveled somewhere out of the ordinary?
  • Do you have the same ideas and prejudices that you’ve had for years?
  • Are you in the same profession doing the same job the same way?

Or, like children.

  • Do you try different combinations of things?
  • Do you learn something new every day with joy and anticipation?
  • Do you dream of things being different?
  • Are “what if” and “why” a dominant part of your vocabulary?
  • Can your imagination just take off at times and you can sit in it for extended periods of time?

Try this.

  • Sit quietly for 20 minutes a day and list ideas. At least 10 ideas a day.
  • Meet and talk with someone new every week. Maybe make it 5 people instead of 1.
  • Begin to learn another language. That forces your brain into new ways of thinking.
  • Are you fascinated with NASA’s discovery of six earth-like planets? What can you imagine about them? What if we could travel there?
  • Pick up a book on a topic you haven’t read since elementary school.

Many of these I’ve tried. I had a great opportunity once to start a magazine. I looked at the space we’d cover looking for what’s new and different? That worked for 8-10 years. But things changed. So I tried to imagine what was next in industry. So, I went off in a new direction.

And that is the next step. I’ve always imagined things, but seldom had the courage and confidence to do them. That was then. And I grew up.  Even now I hold back at times.

What is holding you back? Dream of a new you.

Tags:
Posted in Attitude, Disciplines | Leave a Comment »

A Smile Is All It Takes

February 22, 2017

She is a beautiful young woman. My server for breakfast at the Courtyard in San Diego Gaslamp District.

She may have been tall, maybe as tall as me. I’m not sure.

I think she had dark hair. But maybe medium brown.

Maybe a darker complexion. Or maybe fair?

Ah, the smile. That’s what I remember. What a nice, pleasant person with a great smile.

That sort of thing starts your day off right.

Ending the day in Carlsbad Village. Dinner at a nice small Italian restaurant. Glass of chianti. Probing discussion of deeply spiritual things. Is God unity? How wast the universe made? If it’s a closed system, is God outside the system? And inside at the same time?

Unanswerable questions that lead to deeper spiritual insight.

Quiet, and a smile. 

Joy. What a blessing to be able to experience these incidents in the midst of chaotic politics. President? Who cares? There is the Spirit, and only the Spirit.

Posted in Attitude, Awareness, Disciplines | 1 Comment »

We Are All The Same

February 9, 2017

I’m at a conference where we are all talking about manufacturing technology. In one way or another everyone here is focused on making things for the safety, security, enjoyment, or enrichment of people.

I met a guy last night (well, I’ve known him a little for a few years). He said, “We are all the same.”

Another acquaintance says, “Well, maybe 80% of us.”

“No, we are all the same. Strip it all out and we have the same hopes and fears and desires.”

At this conference there are people from all over the US. Also people from much of Europe. And India. And Japan. And Middle East. Christian, Muslim, HIndu, varieties of Hindu you find across India, Buddhists, Shinto, nothing, don’t care. We all share a desire to improve manufacturing technology to improve the lives of people everywhere. And we share the desire for a good meal. And friends. And peace.

800 people here. I met no jerks. A variety of personalities, to be sure. In no conversation at any time did I ever hear racist or disparaging comments about gender, sexual orientation, handicaps. None.

I work in a great industry. It’s a blessing to be where I can influence some important things. And meet nice people.

The apostle Paul keeps trying to tell us things like this. (Just in case you think ancient wisdom isn’t wisdom.)

We all have faults (sins), he  says. We all deep inside wish for peace with God. We have different approaches. Paul says quit trying to be divisive (try reading  Romans sometime).

We are all alike. We can all learn to go outside, beyond our tribe. Meet people of different ethnic backgrounds. People who look differently from all the people we are familiar with. Maybe we’d stop saying disparaging things about “them” not even realizing we are being racist or divisive when we get to know “them”.

Everyone I meet is a child of God. Loved by God. I need to remember that. Daily. It’s not all about me. It’s all about us.

Posted in Attitude, Disciplines | Leave a Comment »

Where Do You Focus

February 7, 2017

“When you complain, nobody wants to help you.” –Stephen Hawking, physicist

So who would have thought that I quote one of the world’s most famous atheists? If you don’t know of Hawking, he is a brilliant physicist who is confined to a wheel chair. Can barely move or even talk.

But isn’t there a lot of truth to what he said?

Quick know anyone who is always complaining about themselves?

When you spend your time focusing on things that are wrong. When you spend your precious resource of time with someone projecting negativity to everyone, what is your impact on people?

Certainly you won’t be a source of growth. You are a source of destruction.

In America, but not just here but also all over Europe, and not just there but in much of the world, we are in an era of negativity.

We don’t like people different from us.

We don’t like policies of others.

Everything is a zero-sum game–there are either winners or losers.

There is a marvelous thing that God built into our brains. We can choose our focus. We can choose our response.

We can choose to focus on others. It’s not so much covering up bad things, bad health, a relationship gone sour. But by choosing to focus on the other person and building them up, we turn the entire situation on its head. Or better we turn it from being on its head to back upright.

We can, one of us at a time, change the outlook of our web of relationships. We can spread positive thinking.

Posted in Attitude, Disciplines, focus | Leave a Comment »

Persistence Or Stubbornness 

January 13, 2017

When am I exhibiting the virtue of persistence or is it the destructive vice of stubbornness?

I get in situations where I care about the organization and just can’t help myself from trying again. Even though the track record of the organization or leader is poor. Am I persistent? Stubborn? Stupid?

Jesus called persistence a virtue when a person is seeking justice. Think of the story of the woman before the judge. She was a bit like the Proverb that describes a nagging wife like a persistent drip. The judge got so tired of her coming day after day that he granted justice.

On the other hand, think of the many times God calls the Jews a stubborn and stiff-necked people.

The father of persistence is seeking what is right. Being helpful. The mother of persistence is the wish to serve God.

The parent of stubbornness is pride.

Pride puts us first, not God. When pride grabs us, we are prone to all manner of sin.

Stubborn means going my own way. Not seeking or accepting advice. Putting my self before others or the mission. I’d rather fail than admit any weakness.

Maybe in my case, there is a third way. Foolish persistence begs the advice, “Hey, wake up and smell the coffee.”

Tags:, , ,
Posted in Attitude | Leave a Comment »

Working On Yourself This Year

December 29, 2016

The real motorcycle you’re working on is a cycle called “yourself.”  — Robert Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values

There were weight-loss ads on TV yesterday. Getting ready for New Year’s Resolution season.

I bet you are contemplating a list of resolutions for next year. 

New Year’s Resolutions are great. They give you something to talk about at New Year’s Eve parties. Maybe they last until as late as January 10.

My Yoga class will double in size the second week of January. It will return to normal by the fourth week.

The study of the art of motorcycle maintenance is really a miniature study of the art of rationality itself. Working on a motorcycle, working well, caring, is to become part of the process, to achieve an inner peace of mind. The motorcycle is primarily a mental phenomenon. — Robert Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

Making a list, even in classic goal-setting language, is merely a list. “I will lose 10 lbs.” “I will read more books.” Whatever. Doesn’t work.

As Pirsig discussed using motorcycle maintenance as a metaphor, you really need to change you.

Jesus knew. If you want to change, you must change your heart.

It begins with a decision.

What sort of person do I wish to be?

Write that image. Embed it in your mind–conscious and subconscious.

Each time you are faced with a decision, remember what kind of person you are.

Should I go to the gym? I am the type of person who exercises for optimum health and fitness.

Should I work on this service or mission project? I am the type of person who helps others.

Do I stop and talk with God every morning and/or evening? I am the type of person who lives with God.

Within 60 days, you will become that person you wish to be. Not completely, of course. You won’t lose 50 lbs. But the change will be noticeable to both yourself and to others. 

Tags:,
Posted in Attitude, focus | Leave a Comment »

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »