Archive for the ‘Attitude’ Category

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Thinking We Ought To Be In Charge

April 3, 2017

“For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think…”

“Do not claim to be wiser than you are.”

Paul had never visited the little community of Christ-followers in Rome. Yet,  I wonder what he must have heard about them.

Twice, in consecutive paragraphs, Paul offers these words of humility.

How often do we say, if only I were in charge, things would be different. Meaning, of course, better.

But, do we have the gifts to be in charge?

It is so much easier to criticize than do. Criticizing puts you above the doer, at least in your mind.

But, actually making the decision and living with it–that’s an entirely different matter.

That’s why we respect those who have accomplished something. They have something to say. Yet, they seldom do. They understand the difficulties.

It is so worthwhile to pause at intervals and “view ourselves with sober judgement”.

Those who know their gifts and use them are the happiest.

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Our Inability To Judge Others

March 16, 2017

I grew up a Cleveland Browns fan. Save your sympathy. I am still sort of a fan, but it’s hard to be “fanatic.” (For those of you overseas from here, that is a team that more-or-less plays American-style football.)

When the team re-started after the owner moved them to Baltimore, the owners hired a succession of people who supposedly knew the sport and players to run the team. 24 quarterbacks later (over 18 years), they still have not picked one who is talented enough to play at the professional level.

The point is that even experts in a field cannot judge talent before hand.

How often do we pre-judge others? How often are we accurate?

All the time. And, seldom.

Yet, we still do it. It’s a rush to apply a label so that we know how to deal with the person.

We see a man with neatly combed hair, dark suit that fits, white dress shirt, and necktie. We meet a young woman with tattoos up the arm. Five piercings in each ear and a piercing through the nose. Unkempt hair.

Which is the person who can’t be trusted?

Actually, my guess goes toward the guy who is probably either a lawyer or politician 😉

We don’t really know, do we? Not until we talk with them. The preposition is with, not at.

One of the things I learn from Jesus, whom I follow and try to emulate, is that he gave people a chance to show themselves. He knew a lot about types of people. But he seldom said anything until they spoke and revealed their hearts. Then he would comment, help, or turn away.

There are so many things we prejudge. And so many ways we are wrong. About people. About talent. About schools to attend. About jobs to take or churches to attend.

Awareness of our weakness is the first step toward true observation.

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Fill Me Up, Or Kindle A Fire

March 9, 2017

Enthusiasm is a fire to be kindled not a vessel to be filled.

So, this email proposal came my way. Register and come down to our conference and let our team fill you to overflowing with enthusiasm.

I’m sure these are great people. They no doubt believe in what they are doing. And, like all God’s children, they need to earn a living.

But enthusiasm leaks.

It leaves a trail behind of dribbles to puddles.

Have you ever been to a lecture, conference, church service, or whatever else where one of those speakers skilled at getting you fired up is leading?

How fast did you lose the enthusiasm? Could you remember much even the next day?

I did not attribute the quote at the beginning because I made it up. But the thought comes from many ancient and not so ancient philosophers. Socrates used the phrase regarding education. Steven Covey also borrowed it.

So how do you kindle the fire from within?

  • Work on something you believe will change the world for the better.
  • Work with people who are focused on the same ends and also a joy to be with.
  • Eat well–meaning appropriate nutrition, balance.
  • Exercise your body appropriately.
  • Exercise your mind–read inspirational things first thing in the morning before you get hit with the day’s bad news.
  • Pray/meditate several times per day.

How does that old song go? “It only takes a spark, to get a fire going.”

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Anger And Bitterness Disappears Before The Fragrance of Humility

March 8, 2017

Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.

After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. –Zen proverb

Enlightenment. The direct experience of God.

I began meditating some 45 years ago with the goal of enlightenment. This meditation became known as Centering Prayer promulgated by Father Thomas Keating among others at the time.

Then I began exploring the Desert Fathers and came across John Climacus and his work, “The Ladder of Divine Ascent.”

These writers and mystics went beyond enlightenment in a way. What they worked diligently on was bringing our entire life before God. Later, Richard J. Foster (“Celebration of Discipline“) called it the With-God life.

John Climacus wrote, “The first step toward freedom from anger is to keep the lips silent when the heart is stirred; the next, to keep thoughts silent when the soul is upset; the last, to be totally calm when unclean winds are blowing.”

There are people who seem to exist only to stir up those hearts, blow up those unclean winds.

Notice that John considers anger something that binds us, imprisons us.

He continues (this is Step 8 on the Ladder of Divine Ascent, by the way), “Just as darkness retreats before light, so all anger and bitterness disappears before the fragrance of humility.”

Humility–putting others before us in our attitude and awareness. When we leave behind being so wrapped up in ourselves and begin to consider others, then we have taken a step with-God.

The Zen proverb tells us that enlightenment is good, but we still have to live out our  lives every day. John Climacus is one of those guides who can help us.

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Thinking Too Much Can Stir Up Anger To Rule You

March 7, 2017

He’s 90 now. An amazing guy. Ran marathons in his 80s. Went mountain backpacking into his 80s. During chats in the steam room at the Y he introduced me to numerous great books.

Life happened. He’s all alone. Don’t often see him.

He’s always angry–at them.

While I was running through the park early one morning I pulled up beside him and slowed down to talk.

“I have lots of time out here to think about things,” he said. “I think about them and what they’re trying to do to me.”

We were just talking about how Paul had warned us about how our thoughts set the direction of our lives here at Faith Venture. I thought about my friend who is now far from the guy I met 16 years ago.

I’m a writer in my “other” profession. Getting well known simply means getting on the radar for publicists and press relations people. I just received a release promoting a book by a guy who is a university professor and “TV Expert.” His book, “Do You Know Your Anger Type?”, is promoted as just the information we need in the age of Trump.

“Let’s face it, everyone gets angry,” says the blurb. “Anger is a normal and acceptable human emotion. Unfortunately, anger is usually expressed in non-productive and unacceptable ways.”

In this book, we will learn:

  • How thoughts determine your emotions.
  • How to control and express your anger.
  • The 12-types of anger.
  • The rules for managing anger.

The concepts and strategies in this book will not only help you with your anger-management, it will also help you understand why you are angry and how to create positive change in your life.

Dr. Peter Sacco is the author. The Rate Your Professor website shows him rated as “hot”. Comments all are that his class is easy, although divided among whether that is a good or bad thing.

I have not read the book, yet. But it is timely. Although, (to the 40% of my readers who are not in the US) not all Americans go around angry all day. Just the loudest ones. The rest of us just go about life as it happens.

I expressed (I think that’s a psychology word) a lot of anger at a stage while growing up. I still remember the spiritual moment when I saw myself from the outside. I thought, “This is stupid.” And from that moment when I was around 12, I’ve always tried to be in control of those negative emotions. It’s why people get the impression I’m calm. Most of the time, anyway.

I practice Paul’s philosophy. I watch what I think about. Where my thoughts dwell. What information I take in.

Maybe this book will help. I’ll let you know. Or–you can read it and let me know. Maybe I’ll even have an opportunity to interview the author. That would be cool.

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Building Up People As A Personality Trait

March 6, 2017

Wouldn’t it be great if we built people up?

Imagine a dialogue where you are trying to help someone rather than hurt them.

What if leaders at every level were more interested in building up than tearing down?

What if I were more interested in the welfare of others than in mine?

I know that there exist people who don’t agree with that last statement. But as a disciple of Jesus, I try to emulate the teacher. He tried to build up even those whom he knew didn’t really want it. His pointed remarks were aimed at those who built themselves up at the expense of others.

What if I asked of everyone I met today, “How can I help you?” What if we all lived that question?

Let our imaginations dwell on this for a while in the mornings. A great start for the day.

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What Form of Sacrifice Works For You

March 2, 2017

Lent began yesterday. Somehow Fat Tuesday and Ash Wednesday just went past me, almost unnoticed. I was not raised in a tradition of emphasizing Lent. My virtual friend, Jon Swanson, has written a book for people like me–Lent for Non-Lent People. You can check it out, if you’re like me.

I guess it was the guy who gave up watermelon for Lent back when I was a kid that emphasized the frivolous nature of such traditions. That was back when Catholics fasted on every Friday. We had two or three Catholic kids in our school. The school cafeteria served either fish sticks or grilled cheese every Friday. I couldn’t stand either one (terribly finicky eater back in those days). Figured I could never become Catholic. Ah, kids and their ideas.

But I digress.

I’ve been reading people’s stories about their Lent experience. Many seem to be turning the fasting or sacrifice idea on its head a little. Instead of giving up something that they normally eat, they are finding ways to serve.

How about that? A special way of serving as a Lenten sacrifice? That sounds intriguing.

As a culture we build up Advent as anticipation of Christmas, but not so much Lent as anticipation of Easter. I guess there are so many secular Christmas songs–usually about snow, friends gathering, food, that sort of thing.

Easter is the end of winter, beginning of spring. Bad weather. Mud. Tornadoes. We’re tired of friends coming over mooching all the food.

I’ve been reading a lot lately about the meaning of the resurrection. How we would not be Christian without it. I am a liberal in many ways, but I never understood liberal theology that couldn’t explain miracles, so they didn’t think a resurrection such as described by all those eye witness writers could have happened.

Bill Hybels just explained his “Do…Done” explanation again last week at Willow Creek. Use it with a seeker who asks. Some people say we get on God’s good side by what we Do. The more we Do the better. That is, until we discover it’s a gerbil wheel getting us no where. Then we discover the Done–what Jesus already has Done for us. We just acknowledge it and believe. It’s so simple.

So Easter–we celebrate the “Done”, the culmination of what began at Christmas.

How do you focus?

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Where You Set Your Mind, So Shall You Go

February 27, 2017

You become what you think about.

It’s Monday. Are you thinking about your week ahead?

What am I going to do this week? What will I work on? Who will I meet? Where will I go? Will I be surprised at the answers come Friday?

Maybe a better question to begin each week is, Who will I be this week?

Earl Nightingale was a radio personality making the first “personal development” recordings on actual records. He devoted his life to seeking wisdom. He discovered the phrase quoted above was repeated by almost every ancient philosopher. It’s the strangest secret, he said.

I’ve been teasing out meaning from Paul’s letter to the Romans. It began to dawn on me in Chapter 7 and then hit me in Chapter 8. “Fix your mind on” was the phrase as translated into English in the New International Version.

Fix your mind on matters of the spirit, and you will find life. Fix your mind on matters of the flesh, and you will find death.

It helps to rise each morning, and after drinking 8 oz. of water and fixing that cup of coffee or tea, sit down and read something spiritual and then contemplate. What shall be my focus today?

I will be [calm, joyful, thoughtful, patient, forceful] today. I will watch for opportunities to serve anyone anywhere.

I will become what I think about.

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Have You Lost That Creative Feeling?

February 24, 2017

If you want to hire a creative employee, you’ll have a 98% probability of success by bringing in someone who is 3-5 years old. On the other hand, you’ll have a 2% chance of success by hiring an adult. –attributed to a NASA study

A European speaker at the conference I attended this week opened with this remark. I didn’t try to validate it. It’s almost a truism.

As we age, we so easily fall into ruts. (For the young people, that refers back before all the roads were paved. Wagons and other vehicles would go over the same path and over time grooves would be worn called ruts. So you could just let the horse pull the wagon or take your hands off the steering wheel and the vehicle would just follow the rut.)

Check it out if you’re old enough to read this post.

  • Have you tried any new foods lately?
  • Have you read any books that cause you to stretch your mind?
  • Have you traveled somewhere out of the ordinary?
  • Do you have the same ideas and prejudices that you’ve had for years?
  • Are you in the same profession doing the same job the same way?

Or, like children.

  • Do you try different combinations of things?
  • Do you learn something new every day with joy and anticipation?
  • Do you dream of things being different?
  • Are “what if” and “why” a dominant part of your vocabulary?
  • Can your imagination just take off at times and you can sit in it for extended periods of time?

Try this.

  • Sit quietly for 20 minutes a day and list ideas. At least 10 ideas a day.
  • Meet and talk with someone new every week. Maybe make it 5 people instead of 1.
  • Begin to learn another language. That forces your brain into new ways of thinking.
  • Are you fascinated with NASA’s discovery of six earth-like planets? What can you imagine about them? What if we could travel there?
  • Pick up a book on a topic you haven’t read since elementary school.

Many of these I’ve tried. I had a great opportunity once to start a magazine. I looked at the space we’d cover looking for what’s new and different? That worked for 8-10 years. But things changed. So I tried to imagine what was next in industry. So, I went off in a new direction.

And that is the next step. I’ve always imagined things, but seldom had the courage and confidence to do them. That was then. And I grew up.  Even now I hold back at times.

What is holding you back? Dream of a new you.

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A Smile Is All It Takes

February 22, 2017

She is a beautiful young woman. My server for breakfast at the Courtyard in San Diego Gaslamp District.

She may have been tall, maybe as tall as me. I’m not sure.

I think she had dark hair. But maybe medium brown.

Maybe a darker complexion. Or maybe fair?

Ah, the smile. That’s what I remember. What a nice, pleasant person with a great smile.

That sort of thing starts your day off right.

Ending the day in Carlsbad Village. Dinner at a nice small Italian restaurant. Glass of chianti. Probing discussion of deeply spiritual things. Is God unity? How wast the universe made? If it’s a closed system, is God outside the system? And inside at the same time?

Unanswerable questions that lead to deeper spiritual insight.

Quiet, and a smile. 

Joy. What a blessing to be able to experience these incidents in the midst of chaotic politics. President? Who cares? There is the Spirit, and only the Spirit.

Posted in Attitude, Awareness, Disciplines | 1 Comment »

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