Archive for the ‘Living’ Category

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Be Intentional About What You Want

March 3, 2014

“Do you want to be well?”

Jesus asked the man with an unspecified illness at the edge of the Pool of Bethesda at the Temple that question.

We would expect the man to answer, “Yes! Of course! Please!”

Instead, the man whined and complained. “There’s no one around to help me into the water when it stirs and other people get there first.” (There was a superstition that when the water stirred in the pool an angel caused it and was there to heal the first person who dipped into it.)

Jesus evidently ignored the whining. He told the man to stand up, pick up his mat, and to go and sin no more and he would be well.

There is so much we don’t know. What was his sin that caused his illness? Indeed, what was his illness? Why did Jesus pick him? Why did Jesus ignore his whining and heal him?

None of this is the point of the story that John tells in his Gospel. But that’s OK. It’s worth contemplating.

How do we answer?

If someone walks up and offers help, what is our response? Thanks? Or some sort of whining excuse?

A guy I know uses the term “intentional” often. Pray intentionally for things, he’ll say. Pray intentionally for God to bring people into your life or bring the right circumstances into your life.

I thought about that word as I contemplated this story. Are we intentional about seeking healing? Are we intentional about seeking help for our challenges? Do we even know what we want?

Self-help gurus talk about goal setting. That can be a useful activity. However, being intentional about the kind of person we want to become or about healing us of our problems (physical, mental, emotional or spiritual) is really our first step toward a life in the Spirit.

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Our Body as a Temple

February 18, 2014

I grew up in a German community in rural west central Ohio. Although by my mom’s generation, speaking the language was beginning to die out. My mom was from a “mixed” marriage–a German-speaking Alsatian and a woman of Welsh heritage. I don’t believe she ever spoke German.

But, I heard German spoken around town as a kid. We picked up words. But the words had no emotional impact. I learned later, much to my embarrassment during my first trip to Germany, that some of the words had great emotional impact. Sort of like dropping the “F-bomb” in church.

From that lesson, I learned that while reading the Bible or other works in translation I should try to be aware of the emotional impact of words on the first readers even when the emotional impact in me is slight.

John places the story of Jesus cleansing the Temple early in his Gospel. John transitions from a story about keeping the Temple–an emotion-laden word–pure to talking about the Temple as Jesus’ body.

Paul, writing to the church in Corinth, takes this concept (realizing he probably never read the Gospel of John, but he no doubt knew John and talked with him) further and talked about our bodies as the Temple of the Holy Spirit.

Paul talked about what goes into and what comes out of our bodies. He talked about the proper use of our bodies.

I’m like most of the people in America, I suppose. I keep saying I need to lose 10 lbs. But really what I wind up doing is maintaining my 175 plus or minus 5. I really should be 165 for my 5’10” frame.

So, while saying one thing, I’ll watch some sporting event on TV on Sunday afternoon and eat a bag of potato chips. Or order the big meal on a business trip. And convince myself I’m tired and cut my workout short.

There are others who do much worse. Sex with the wrong people. Greatly overeating. Drugs. Too much wine.

It is good to make the link back from our obsession with looks to Paul’s analogy of the Temple to John’s use of the word relative to Jesus’ body to Temple as the place to worship God. Our bodies are where we actually house the Spirit and worship God. Let’s keep it clean.

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Controlling Urges

February 14, 2014

Urges. That sometimes overwhelming feeling to do something. The moment before the brain kicks in and says, “Wait a minute. That’s a stupid idea.”

Ever been there? Oh, come on, remember being a kid? An adolescent? I do all too well. I never would want to go back there.

Paul talked about “when I was a child, I acted like a child, but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”

Last week I had meetings at my Chicago office and we stayed at our son’s house. Our 6-yr-old grandson would sit there occasionally and do things to his 4-yr-old sister. Just little things. Reach out and touch annoyingly. Hit her toy. Whatever.

We can yell at him for tormenting her (remembering that the reverse happens, too. But what are we trying to teach him? It is that a mature person controls those urges.

As we reach adolescence, the urges that bubble up within us multiply. And they can cause much more serious problems both for us and for others than simple annoyance.

When I look at society over the past 25 years or so, I see so many people who grow up physically, but who still act like a child (or adolescent). Some will blame media or parents. And they exacerbate the problem at times. Certainly role models of maturity are often scorned or ignored. They get into the way of “fun.”

We have 4,000 years of wisdom that teaches about how to live a mature life. Yet, we have to teach and remember it every day. Part is to just remind the little ones as they grow to recognize and control their urges.

We must also, as we grow, learn to recognize and control our urges.

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Your End-of-Year Spiritual Review

December 31, 2013

We are always in need of the discipline of pause and reflect.

Each week, best on Sunday evening, it is good to check your next action and review notes and compile a to-do list of the most important things you need to do during the week.

Each month, pause and reflect on the previous month. Did I accomplish the things I needed to get done? What were the distractions? What do I need to focus on this month to move me toward my goals?

Each year, take at least a full day and pause and reflect on the preceding year and the next year. What was the state of my spiritual health over the past year? Was I diligent in my Spiritual practices? Prayer, meditation, study, service, worship, teaching? Was I the kind of person that I want to be?

What things did I habitually do that helped me grow? What things did I habitually do that hindered my growth?

Aristotle, writing in the Nicomachean Ethics, said, “Some thinkers hold that it is by nature that people become good, others that it is by habit, and others that it is by instruction.” He thought habits were the thing. “The behaviors that occur unthinkingly are the evidence of our truest selves.”

“However, to modify a habit, you must decide to chant it. You must consciously accept the hard work of identifying the cues and rewards that drive the habits’ routines, and find alternatives,” wrote Charles Duhigg in “The Power of Habit: Why we do what we do in Life and Business.”

This is a good day to pause and reflect. I have done this “religiously” for more than 30 years. Some years it’s only smaller things that come to mind. Some, like last year, precipitated major life changes.

For today, look at yourself as an objective observer would. What did I do habitually that was detrimental to my becoming the kind of person I want to be? The first step of change is to decide to do this work of identifying them.

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It’s Just the Beginning of the Journey

December 25, 2013

The culmination of a month or longer of anticipation and build-up to the moment. I’m awake and downstairs before the kids. Soon, they’ll be up, tearing wrapping from presents and reveling in what Santa brought. Then it’s over.

Mary and Joseph had about a 9-month build up. Then a birth. Then visitors. Then fleeing for their lives to Egypt. Then back home to Nazareth. With them it was not 30 days of hype and then poof it was over. They had to live with results.

Birth really isn’t the climax–the end of the story. It’s actually the beginning of the journey.

For each of us, a reminder of a beginning. Perhaps an invitation into a new beginning.

Last year I had a new beginning even at my advanced age. New beginnings can happen.

Merry Christmas. And here’s to a beginning of a wonderful new journey for you.

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What One Thing Would Make Your Life Better

December 5, 2013

What one thing that, if you gave it up, would make your life better?

I read that statement this morning and started thinking. This is a perfect season of the year to think about this. Those of us who attend any sort of Christian church are going to hear at least one message on simplifying our lives. On not letting pervasive advertising persuade us into thinking giving and getting more stuff is better. It may be better for the economy, but is it better for us individually?

There are now two open seats on the five-member school board in my small city. Bev wanted to know if she should keep the newspaper out for me to read about it when I get home. I told her no. I know as much as I need. I served eight years; I have no interest in going back. Besides, I’m in a season where I’ve become very busy already.

I gave up a job that paid well, but the atmosphere (to me at least) was toxic. For peace of mind as well as the chance to be creative again, I quit. Then I spent several months making money through writing while I invested money in starting a small business. No sooner had that kicked off (finally), when another opportunity came my way. Now I’m executive director (and future owner with my partner) of another business. Meanwhile, I asked an associate pastor whatever had happened to the mission trips that people went on and returned so on fire in the Spirit. No leadership, she said. So…another job. All because a man I know said, “Pray for God to bring people into your life.”

This was a lot to digest over the past 7 months. My thing is to say no to anything else.

I gave up one thing and gained a new life. This year has been a blessing. But I do need to look over everything I own and everything I do and simplify. We call it an iterative process. That means the process is never done. Once you simplify, then you look for new things to simplify. But also to say yes to the appropriate opportunities. Sometimes God’s call is too powerful to ignore.

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From Gratitude To Advent

December 2, 2013

I pretty much took the Thanksgiving weekend off. At least off from thinking and writing. Not off from all physical activity, though. About 90 minutes in the backyard teaching my grandson how to beat a defender one-v-one (soccer) led to a little stiffness in muscles too little used for three days.

Last weekend in America is all about gratitude–at least in theory. The reality is that while some of us may pause and reflect upon the many things we are or should be grateful for, all the news and hype of the weekend point toward self-gratification (Black Friday–the day when retail outlets determine their profitability for the year).

Sometimes I think that even when buying for others, people generally are thinking about themselves–how they will be perceived or how they will be reciprocated.

Advent

We immediately transition from gratitude to advent–the coming of Jesus. An event for which we should have ultimate gratitude.

But once again we have turned the season from reliving the anticipation of the coming of Jesus into a season of self-indulgence. From marketing messages through mass media, you’d think that all that mattered was what to buy. Then there’s all the “secular Christmas” music that’s all about Santa Claus, nostalgia, what I want for Christmas.

I don’t want to sound like Scrooge, or the Grinch. I love being generous. Christmas trees and lights are fun. (By the way, we found where the Griswalds moved to–my daughter’s neighborhood. Reference to the classic Christmas Vacation–my favorite Christmas movie. See I can have fun, too.)

Where these thoughts were coalescing this morning was around what I see as a major factor in interpersonal dysfunction–why we can’t get along together. That would be narcissism. “It’s all about me.” It’s hard to consider others when it’s all about me. An excellent book on the subject (in addition to Proverbs and the Gospels) is “The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement” by Jean M. Twenge and W. Keith Campbell.

Jesus had every reason to be “full of himself.” Aside from the “I am” statements in the Gospel of John, he was pretty much focused on other people–their needs, fears, hearts, direction, lives.

The writer of the book of Hebrews calls Jesus the “pioneer of the faith.” As a follower, I’m trying to emulate his focus on others. This is a good season to remind ourselves to practice this.

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Watching The Status of Your Heart

November 25, 2013

Last summer, my doctor thought he found some severe heart problems–in me. I spent a little more than a day in the hospital. Saw my heart on the echocardiogram. Underwent several other tests. Mostly we learned that, while my heart isn’t in perfect condition, it’s not all that bad.

That’s much like my “other” heart–the one Jesus talks about. The one Jesus was most concerned with. He always probed people for the state of their heart. His point about the Pharisees was that they were more concerned with what was outside while the status of their hearts seemed to be sick.

I’m reading Andy Stanley’s book “Enemies of the Heart” right now. He discusses some diseases of the inner heart, the root causes of the diseases and then some practical advice for correction. I heard his sermon series that precipitated the book, so I had a head start. I’m sure I’ll be analyzing more later as I finish the book.

For now, I think I’ll tie into my last post about listening to yourself.

What do you often say that you wish you didn’t? Would you say, “That really doesn’t sound like me?” What about when someone does something wrong and people always say, “He was such a good person.”

Stanly says that no, they weren’t. What comes out of you is a reflection of the state of your heart. You can’t always hide what’s in your heart. It comes out eventually. That is why it is so important to listen to what you say and observe what you do. This information is an indicator about your heart. Just like the probes and tests I underwent last summer.

Paul tells us in Romans that we are all sinners, but also that we have a way out. That’s called God’s grace. But we have to be aware of that and ask for it.

Awareness of the state of your heart helps to focus prayers on fixing your problems–sort of like the medicines I’m on. I’m pondering comments I’ve been making lately. What is in my heart that causes them? I am looking for insight into the causes so that I can change. Life is a series of these corrections which over time we would hope would become smaller and smaller as we achieve maturity in the Spirit.

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Self Discipline Requires Listening to Yourself

November 22, 2013

Want to be a better person? Lose weight? Be more “spiritual”? Succeed in whatever endeavor you are involved in?

Don’t we all? Don’t we all wish it would be easy?

Sorry, it isn’t. I’ve been doing some reading on habits, disciplines, getting things done. Thought I’d assemble a few of the thoughts into one post.

Do you have a clear picture of the kind of person you’d like to be? How you’d like to look. How you’d like to interact with other people. A good teacher said once that before you know what to do, you need to know who you want to be.

Have a picture in your mind? Good.

Now there are two things to watch about yourself. But first, a word about that “watch yourself” phrase. The phrase “know thyself” from ancient wisdom teaching is too easily repeated and too difficult implemented. Psychologist pioneer Roberto Assagioli taught us to work on the ability to stop outside of ourselves mentally and see ourselves acting.

So, you are in a check out line in a store. Someone in front of you has 13 items (you counted) in the 12-item-or-less express check out lane. You say something inappropriate. You do not see the desired effect. You say it again louder. Ah, but then you have stepped outside yourself mentally and you see how you are acting and hear what you are saying. Now, you feel differently.

The first step in growth is to watch your urges and learn not to act on your childish whims. See yourself as you throw a temper tantrum or whine or say cutting things meant to hurt others.

The second step is listening. Listen to your inner self-rationalizations. Realize when your mind begins to blame others or justify an action through the famous “everyone else does it.”

Now begin to look for patterns. If one and two happen too often—say a couple of times a day—then maybe it is time for a heart checkup. Not with the cardiologist. With a friend, spiritual guide, pastor. Someone who will help you change your inner problems that cause those situations. Maybe anger, guilt, anxiety. All the things that getting back into the practice of Spiritual disciplines will heal.

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We Are Not Entitled

November 20, 2013

My wife came home from a volunteer service talking about a conversation she had with a woman from the area. Someone who knows my family, I guess.

The woman was complaining about everything. Just from one thing to another. She talked about how her daughter had limited career choices because of policies coming from Washington. “There is no financial reason to become a doctor because of Obamacare.” How not everyone who wants to cannot attend college. “We’ll be just like Europe where they have to take a test to get into college.”

And there was more. So my wife came home with questions.

People have been complaining about lack of financial incentives to become a medical doctor for at least 20 years. First it was liability insurance, then payments from insurance companies. Frankly, if anyone tells you they know everything about Obamacare, they are lying. I don’t think a single person is in existence that can understand complex legislation that makes it through our Congress. Especially a Congress person. Especially someone who gets their information from a neighbor or TV news.

I put all her comments together and thought two things. One, she would be one of those people who says, “I’m entitled to my opinion.” Second, she is among the many in America who believe they are entitled to happiness and anything their heart desires. Heck, there are even people who think they are entitled to opinions on Scripture without ever having studied it. Do you know people who cite Bible verses that aren’t even in the Bible? Happens all the time.

Sorry to break this news, but we’re not entitled to our opinions—unless they are based on facts and deliberate reasoning. And faith. In fact, we’re not entitled to anything.

Paul, writing in Romans, begins by telling us that we are all sinners and not entitled to anything except going straight to Hell. Then he reasons from the facts of his Scriptures and Jesus’ life and teachings. And he concludes there is no hope except for God’s grace.

With God’s grace, we have the freedom to live a good life. We have the freedom to become a disciple of Jesus, living in service to others leading them to discipleship in their turn.

Take TV news. Last night at my birthday dinner at Subway after our Yoga class, my wife points to the TV displaying a suicide and attack on his father and asks, do we really need to know that?

Exactly. We fill our minds with useless junk and then want to spout meaningless opinions on topics of which we have no knowledge.

We are not entitled. We are expected to partake of God’s grace, study His words, become disciples and guide others toward becoming disciples. I don’t think you’d like it if you got what you deserved.

Be careful with negative talk that will turn people off and ruin the opportunity to teach them about a life of freedom in Jesus.

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