Posts Tagged ‘maturity’

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Change In Personality–It’s Inevitable

August 29, 2016

Don’t you understand, I’m never changing who I am. — Imagine Dragons

No, this song didn’t come from the rebellious, “us-against-them” Heavy Metal genre. It played on Sirius XM Coffee House–acoustic, folk, coffee house type of music.

But it reminds us of our rebellious teenage years. “I’m never changing.”

Do you recall your teenage years? I do–with deep regret and chagrin over my social and relational stupidity. Now, I’m only partially challenged relationally and socially.

Even that statement implies change over time.

My wife is not even close to the same person I married. She’s changed a couple of times. Then I think, “poor woman, I’m not even close to the guy she married.” It wasn’t some sort of bait-and-switch marketing. We just grew. That’s life.

I like to “joke” about some people of my acquaintance who used to be addicted to substances and now are addicted to Jesus. Sort of a fundamental addictive personality, but growth happened. Jesus is much better than drugs.

That’s the process of spiritual formation. We grow intentionally toward being (OK, here comes the M-word) spiritually mature. That’s not so bad.

A spiritually mature person grows to enjoy the fruit of the spirit. Paul, writing to the Galatians (5:22-23), tells us that a person mature in the spirit has the fruit of the spirit–But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. 

Really, now, do we want to remain selfish, anxious, obnoxious people? Adrift in life? Slave to every whim and emotion that buffets us?

We are designed to be free, strong, and caring. People who’ve never grown up may scoff at such people, but wouldn’t you rather be around people filled with such fruit? Wouldn’t you rather be a person filled with such fruit? The Proverbs tells us about scoffers and their inevitable end.

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You’ve Got Some ‘splainin’ To Do

July 5, 2016

“Lucy, you’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do!” Desi Arnaz to Lucille Ball

One of the earliest of TV comedies was the Lucille Ball show. It featured a crazy “housewife” and her Cuban band director husband–Lucy and Ricky. She was forever getting herself into impossible situations and then Ricky would discover the scheme of the week.

Steve Carter, teaching pastor at Willow Creek Community Church, was speaking Sunday on Paul’s second letter to his mentee Timothy (2:14-17). Paul instructed Timothy as a pastor and leader to warn people about the destructiveness of empty chatter.

Carter proceeded to pull up Facebook on his laptop (projected to us all, of course), and showed some of the more sanitized of his “news” feed. The loudest response came when he mentioned that many posts are made late at night. “There’s nothing you have to say at 11:45 pm that the world needs to know,” he stated.

It is hard to count the number of times I want to respond to the lies, exaggerations, innuendos, and hate I see spewed by people I know who call themselves Christians. If “by your fruits you will be known” means anything, perhaps more of us should be looking at the fruits of our hearts as broadcast to the world through our Facebook posts.

Well, then I stop, let it sit for a while, and then realize that nothing I say will have any impact on the person. It’s best to just not read it in the first place (you can unfollow people who continually violate that “mindless chatter” stuff and save yourself a few points of blood pressure increase). If by happenstance you do read the stuff, just let it slide by.

But the thought came to me picturing these Christians (especially) on this topic facing God someday and hearing, “About that Facebook thing, you’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do.”

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The Discipline of Self Awareness

June 29, 2016

3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. — Matthew 7:3-5 New International Version (NIV)

Our conversation must have wandered not having a lot of news to share. I had made my daily call home as is my practice when I’m on the road. Since I’m in Las Vegas, she’s probably insisting on a call just to check up.

Anyway, we got to talking about how hard it is to see your own sins and difficulties. It’s so easy to see what’s wrong with others. Although many people (most? all?) have sins hidden from public  view, many seem to live out their sins in public. Makes for good conversation, I guess. Or interesting Facebook posts. (I have cut way back on the amount of time I scan Facebook posts, by the way.)

It is easy for everyone to fall into this habit. But Jesus reserved his anger (it sure sounds like anger, doesn’t it?) for a specific group of people. These were the Pharisees.

These people made a detailed study of the Law. They memorized it. They interpreted it. To their credit, they tried to live it.

Unfortunately, living the letter of the Law usually means a bad attitude. It breeds contempt. It breeds the attitude that “I’m better than you–here, I can prove it.” Yet, their sins are hidden  somewhere in the depths (we’ll let Freud have a field day on uncovering those). And they act (put on a mask to assume a different persona–therefore a “hypocrite”) as if they are perfect. And they love to point fingers at others who are not so conscientious about following the Law.

Paul picked up this theme in the beginning of Romans. “For all have sinned and fallen short.”

Even if we have trouble identifying where we each fall short, we must remember this instruction before pointing at others.

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It Takes A Golden Attitude

May 12, 2016

“In everything do to others as you would have them do to you; for this is the law and the prophets.” –wisdom of Jesus recorded by Matthew

The “Golden Rule.” It presages the later saying of Jesus when he was asked about the greatest commandment. He responded with the “Shema”(worship the Lord with all your heart, mind, body, and soul) and added “and your neighbor as yourself”.

I needed a quote for the “Morning Son” Yoga class (aside: there exists a segment of Christians who worry about everything including whether Yoga is Hindu worship–sheesh). I went to Jesus’ teachings found in early Matthew. This seemed appropriate.

Later conversations and a few Facebook updates reminded me that the church denomination I belong to–United Methodist–is holding its General Meeting currently. This is the body that gathers every four years to decide on policy matters.

People I know who are, well, rather conservative, are living in great angst for this week concerned that the church might officially proclaim that “homosexuals” are people.

That made me think how easily we throw labels around. A coach at the soccer tournament last week (from a wealthy Columbus suburb toward the fans of a less-wealthy suburb) yelled across the pitch, “They’re just a bunch of hillbillies who should get in their pickup trucks and get the hell out of here.”

Similar to “we don’t want no homosexuals in the clergy” or whatever their worry du jour is.

Well, these groups are people. Yep. Believe it or not. And neither chose it. They were born it. And, by the way, thanks to Jeff Foxworthy the contemporary word for hillbilly is redneck. As in, who cares? He can make being a redneck funny. But the coach wasn’t trying to be a stand-up comedian, even if people did laugh at him.

It is an age-old practice. Put a label on someone, then they don’t seem like people. Then I’m free to hate, disparage, discriminate.

We get so worried. Then we forget these simple little commands of Jesus. Other people are also creatures of God the Father. And he loves them. So should we. There is no need to get all worried. Just practice love. I know it’s hard. But Jesus didn’t say it would be easy. He just said what we should do.

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He Started a Revolution And We Almost Missed It

April 7, 2016

My morning studies now involve just reading the words of Jesus. I’ve been deep in Paul for a few years and felt like it was time to visit the source.

I’ve often taught over the years about how Jesus upset the philosophy, should I say spirit, of Rome. The prevailing spirit of the time was power. He who has power, wins. Even the Pharisees played along. They just defined power as following the Law better than others did. This gave them the feeling of religious power.

Jesus upset the whole thing.

Matthew records that Jesus began his ministry proclaiming repentance–turning your life around.

Then he proceeds in his compilation of teachings to what we call the Beatitudes. And who are the blessed of God?

  • simple people
  • merciful people
  • peacemakers
  • humble, meek people
  • those who mourn
  • those who are persecuted
  • Those who hunger for righteousness

None of these would be Pharisees. Even today, in most churches we do not consider these people in our midst blessed–holy ones.

When we sit in our chair in the morning for study and prayer, maybe we need to check our attitude. When we go forth to serve, maybe we should check our attitude.

The powerful and super-confident may seem to win for a while. In the end, they don’t.

 

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Getting Along With the Opposite Gender

February 26, 2016

Do you do much traveling alone? Happens to me a couple of times a month. This week I’ve made a business trip to San Diego. Nice city.

Got into a conversation about guys we know who made a practice of making unwanted advances on women. I am so used to interacting with women professionally, that I don’t really give a thought to trying to get them into my hotel room–or the other way around.

No, honestly. I’m so naive that twice when women hit up on me, I actually realized they were prostitutes. But once (she was drunk), it was something like 12 hours later when the thought hit me that she was hinting strongly about following me to my room.

Americans still have some of that Puritan heritage (or is it just Calvinist?) about how we have to be so suspicious of relations. Any wink can send us spiraling into a sexual adventure.

Oh, grow up.

I think about Jesus. We don’t usually think about how scandalous it must have been that Jesus, a rabbi, had bunches of women followers. And friends. Yet he was single. No problems there.

But there are guys who just don’t seem to get it. They seem to think it’s like being at the grocery, and you’re looking to pick up the most attractive package. They don’t seem to realize that women are actually humans. Some times it works the other way around, too. It’s not always a man’s problem.

I guess I’m just making a plea to treat people of whatever gender as a human being with a personality, imperfect though we all might be. I’m sitting here in San Diego not 30 miles from one of the most notorious red light districts in the world. It services American men. The men never realize that those girls don’t really want to be there. That they don’t spend all day dreaming of the guy who is going to buy 15 minutes of pleasure.

What does it mean to be a disciple? One thing is to treat every human being as a child of God, loved by the Father.

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He Came To Set Us Free

December 23, 2015

“He had come to set people free, and like Moses with Pharaoh, the king of Egypt, he was confronting the powers that held people captive.” — N T Wright, Simply Good News

We are only a couple of days from celebrating the coming of Jesus into the world. It’s not really his birthday, as some sects believe and shun the day. It’s not a pagan holiday, at least for us, but it was certainly adopted as an alternative to the pagan Roman holiday celebrated about the same time.

I don’t care about all that. We just simply celebrate the coming.

Why did he come?

I like what NT Wright says in Simply Good News, “He had come to set the people free.” Pope Benedict XVI wrote essentially the same theme in his book titled, “Jesus of Nazareth.”

I like the Gospels–Mark for his great literary style of simplicity and movement; Luke for his attention to detail and lifting up women and the Holy Spirit; John for his devotion.

But Paul captures this idea of freedom especially in his letter to the Galatians. “Therefore the law was our disciplinarian until Christ came, so that we might be justified by faith. But now that faith has come, we are no longer subject to a disciplinarian, for in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith.”

I’ve come to see among a great number of Protestant denominations and even among some Catholics the tendency to have it all in the head. It’s agreeing with the right statements, saying the right things, judging people according to whatever law they ascribe to. And the number of people searching the scriptures for hidden meanings and fortune-telling the future simply amazes me.

When I was young, I wanted to be an “intellectual”, whatever that meant. I studied broadly into different fields of inquiry. By personality, I’m one who thinks too much.

What I’ve learned is that most of us think way too much. The meaning is right there in front of us in plain sight just waiting for us to see.

Jesus began his ministry quoting, “He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives, and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

“Release to the captives!” Who are they? They are us–all of us. Paul would say we once were captive, but now we’re free.

Who wouldn’t want to go out into the world teaching this? Why do we corrupt the message with too much other stuff?

Jesus came, now we are free.

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Speaking About What We’ve Experienced

November 17, 2015

Coffee lovers have come to the opinion that their drink must be incredibly strong to be good. That is the power of advertising and peer pressure where you go to places that must over-roast their coffees to make up for the variation in the quality of the beans. In process control it’s called compensating for the variables of the input material.

When the quality of the raw material is more carefully controlled which can be the result of the way the coffee is purchased from the farmer, then the roaster is free to bring out the true flavors of the different varieties of the bean. The result is a coffee that is more pleasing to the palate.

We cannot help from speaking about what we have seen and heard. — Peter and John recorded in Acts 4

Christ-followers call it “witnessing.” Originally it meant “speaking about what we have seen and heard.” For us it is speaking from experience.

Sharing an experience is powerful. It is your story. But it is a story that can relate to other people. It is a story pleasing to the palate.

Followers of our faith for centuries have given us a bad name by coming on so strongly like that overpowering cup of coffee. They try to force feed their beliefs–often emphasizing peripheral beliefs ignoring the central belief that we have experienced new life as a Jesus-follower after coming to belief in his resurrection.

I’m thinking about Galatians 5 and Paul’s description of changed lives. And also of the especially powerful first five chapters of Acts.

Think of the growth of the early church and the lives that were changed because they:

  1. Shared what they had experienced
  2. Served others with no thought for themselves or their own well being

And we wonder why we’re not growing and thriving.

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What Happened To The End of Racism?

November 16, 2015

Many people in my all-white home town gave me some grief over my civil rights views in the 1960s. But it was mild, if pointed. And I survived driving through Mississippi a couple of times in 1970 with equal rights decals on my car.

But I thought momentum was building behind the idea of judging a person by their character rather than the color of their skins or other external differences.

There has been progress. Almost all laws in the US are now color-blind (and gender-blind–that was a problem, too). Most police no longer are a serious threat to the well-being, and even lives, of people of color.

The goal remains elusive.

We can change laws (good). Train people (good). Heighten awareness and provide peer pressure (good).

But we can’t change people’s hearts that easily.

Reports from Missouri suggest that the University of Missouri race relations have changed little since 1969. We still have too many incidents.

And now I expect my Facebook “news” stream to fill up with a reaction of hatred and verbal violence toward all people who are followers of Islam and/or of Middle Eastern descent because of the attacks by a few nihilists in Paris. (I quit reading most of that stuff  on Facebook. If you want to reach me in Facebook, you can use Messenger rather than just a post.)

I have some friends and many acquaintances among those groups. They are peace-loving people with a moral code not unlike many Christians (I wonder about the moral code of some).

It all makes me so sad. An entire adult life span, and we have actually progressed so little.

Can we take some time to watch what we say? Pray for those hurting? Pray for justice? Judge people according to character rather than this painting an entire religion and ethnic group with the same brush as brutal terrorists?

Thank you.

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Living With Theological Tension

November 12, 2015

“What happens when two groups of people hold opposite views on a subject, yet each can point to Scripture to back them up?”

That question came up Tuesday morning in a small group study session I sometimes attend.

It’s a good question.

One guy in the group is very hard-core. He’ll flip to 1 Corinthians in a flash to show how we should judge people within our church and not be afraid to kick them out.

He has a point. Allowing people in the congregation–which should be like a family–to flagrantly mock the beliefs of the group is akin to a cancer that can grow rapidly. Treatment–remove the cancer.

However, others (like me) point also to Galatians 6. When you confront that situation, do not do so with a spirit of vengeance, almost glee. Do so with a spirit of love. Bearing others burdens.

Jesus had a name for the former. He called them Pharisees. John (the apostle) called them children of the darkness. But we can take that analogy too far. Sometimes they are mere rule followers.

But they do have a point. And so do the others.

Think of other issues. Right now a hot topic is treatment of or acceptance of homosexual people. One side takes a verse from Paul. The other takes a broader look at more Scriptures. How do you handle that?

There is no other way that is beneficial and in keeping with Jesus’ commands to love one another than to live in theological tension. It is not all bad that one side cannot “win” the argument. Sometimes we are asking the wrong question. Then we draw the wrong lines. Our human nature seeks resolution. It’s like ending a song on the Dominant Seventh. That note is tension. We crave to hear the Tonic note. Sometimes it doesn’t come. Sometimes we need to live in that tension long enough to

As I told another guy about the Creation controversy (which I again think we’re arguing the wrong question), “If your faith depends upon God creating the world in six 24-hour days, then far be it from me to try to tear it down. I don’t agree. But in the end, it doesn’t matter.” He and I agree on the resurrection of Jesus and coming into a right relationship with God by accepting His grace through faith. Other issues are merely straw horses meant to divide us. Instead we should just be witnesses to our receiving grace through Jesus. Just keep it simple–we both agreed.

I can live in tension. I sort of like it. Life lived in tension leads to a creative life. If we have resolved all the tensions, then we are in danger of becoming fat, dumb, and lazy as the old country saying puts it.

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