Faith Venture

I had a business meeting in the north suburbs of Chicago on Friday and am now in Kentucky where I overnighted on my way to meetings in Greenville, SC. In between, playing with the grandkids in the west suburbs of Chicago.

Do you ever travel long distances? Even if there are no kids, do you ever think “Are we there, yet?”

It started my thoughts on reaching goals. Even spiritual goals.

You begin. “I’ll read a chapter a day in the Bible.” Or some other goal. Even more ambitious–“I’ll treat everyone with just a little more kindness today.”

Then you go on with your life. And you don’t always do it. And you lose patience with yourself.

But you’re going to get there when you get there. Spiritual depth does not come overnight. Nor does treating everyone the way you should treat them.

A little at a time you find yourself growing toward your destination. It comes. Not on our time, but when the time is ripe.

In the meantime, you just have to remind yourself to be patient with the work in progress. It’ll come.

I have much writing to finish reporting on my trip to Hannover so far. It is not getting done.

I am walking many miles per day (it is hard to describe how large the grounds are and the number of buildings to walk through at this trade fair). My legs are stiff. Especially in the morning.

Yesterday, I over slept (smarter today, I set an alarm). So I rushed through my morning to get to the train in time for my first appointment. No time for morning Yoga and meditation.

I was tired.

Tired is an excuse. Eating the wrong food so that my body sugar is not properly regulated is a reason. Deciding to talk with some people or stay for one more beer. These are reasons.

Reasons can be dealt with through proper decisions. It’s my responsibility to eat correctly to balance my weight and give me the proper energy. It’s my responsibility to decide when to return to my room. It’s my responsibility to decide to get up, stretch, study, meditate to begin the day. It is my responsibility to properly schedule my time in order to have time to write.

Are you not getting done what needs to be done in your life?

It’s your decision.

Excuses are tricks we use to deny our responsibility for our condition. We always have a choice about how to adapt to our situation.

Here is a little process:

• What is the real cause for the way we feel or for the lack of  accomplishment?
• What decision did I make or not make that put me in that situation?
• What decision do I need to make right now that helps me toward my goal?
• Make the decision and do it.

Have you ever met someone who steadfastly refuses to confess? You can see a child doing something wrong. You call them over. “Did you do that?” you ask. “No,” they answer.

God saw Cain rise up and attack his brother. “Where is your brother?” God asks. “I don’t know,” Cain answered.

It was a lie. He knew it. God knew it. There is a moment in the encounter where a decision must be made. Did the thoughts go through his mind, “Should I confess to God that I did it and ask for forgiveness, or should I just maintain my innocence?”

It was not that Cain did not believe in God. Cain was talking with (not to) God. He had offered God a sacrifice. Cain knew God existed. That wasn’t the issue. Whether or not grain offerings were not as pleasing as animal offerings was not the issue.

The issue was Cain’s heart. God said to Cain, why are you so disappointed in my rejection of your offering? If you do well, will I not be pleased? Watch out, for sin is crouching by you. The  point is that Cain could not control his emotions. His jealousy turned to rage which turned to murder. When he still had an opportunity to confess, his heart would not let him do it.

That’s why Jesus was so concerned with the condition of our hearts. That’s why John (in 3:16) composed a word that said “faith toward” which is in the same meaning as trust. God wanted a trusting relationship with Adam and Eve. Didn’t happen. Then with Cain. Didn’t happen.

I started a notebook for capturing thoughts on confession when I heard Dallas Willard talk about how confession is so little used as a Spiritual Discipline these days. Then a small group I’m in decided to read all the old stories from Genesis. And there it was. One of the first stories recorded about the relationship of God and humans. And failure to confess is second after succumbing to temptation.

That made me sit in meditation this morning thinking about the things I should have been confessing. That is, bring out in the open between me and God and seeking forgiveness.

Every morning Archie Goodwin would rise, get dressed and come downstairs in the old brownstone. After breakfast served by master chef Fritz, he’d go to the first floor office he shared with famed detective Nero Wolfe. He would dust the furniture and book shelves, organize the files and desks, and prepare for another day.

That’s a description generalized from the series of detective novels written by Rex Stout featuring the genius detective who weighed 1/7 of a ton (not so much by today’s standards) and favored yellow shirts.

The image of organizing and cleaning the office before sitting down to work has intrigued me ever since I read the first novel more than 15 years ago. Do I do that? No. I just sit (or stand at my standing desk) and start reading or writing.

Usually after a business trip, I’ve dumped a week’s worth of press kits and books on my desk. And there they stay. A reminder of the organization that my mind needs in order to focus.

Jon Swanson wrote a post this week, “The Messy Office is Just a Symptom.” I don’t know Jon, but I feel like he’s a friend after reading his various blogs and books for several years. He’s another one of the people that I should try to meet for breakfast when I’m making one of my trips through northern Indiana on my way to Chicago. Anyway, his meditation on messy offices stuck with me.

But he is right. A messy office is just a symptom of a messy mind. And a messy life. When I catch my winter cold (from which I’ve just recovered–almost made it through the winter), it’s usually because I’ve allowed my life to get out of order. If that continues enough, then my body sends a message. Usually in the form of some sort of illness that forces me to slow down.

Quite a few readers of this blog are journalists–personal friends. Often journalists, especially if they come from a newspaper background, have extremely messy desks. Papers and notes piled up everywhere. My dad was that way even though he was an accountant–and they are supposed to be anal about order. Anyway, just wondering how order and disorder affect you. Do you find when you’re organized, it’s easier to sit down and meditate and pray? I do.