We Choose Our Response To Life’s Little Stresses

February 3, 2017

“Smile, Breathe, Go Slowly.” –Thich Nhat Hahn

The harried mother at the checkout line in the grocery trying to corral her small children.

The man in the queue at the airport gate agent’s podium because weather has caused yet another flight delay.

The sports official who must deal with an angry coach. On live TV.

The sales person dealing with a disappointed customer.

Parents who are blessed with teen-aged kids–need I say more?

Back in my early years as a spiritual seeker, I immersed myself in Zen Buddhism. Partly because I read about the Beatnik culture (cool, Zen, espresso–I still like espresso sprinkled with a little cinnamon).

I was never Buddhist by religion. But the old Zen masters had much to teach about living. Thich Nhat Hahn is in that tradition.

I’ve found myself at that gate agent’s podium. She’s frustrated. People all around are frustrated. To be honest, I’m not happy. But usually you can’t change anything, so you must just go with the flow. I must have a nice smile, because I take a deep breath, release, smile, and approach the one person who can help me in that situation. I can see her relax a little. And find the best alternative.

This Friday with a week behind us where maybe we haven’t done all we set out to do–this Friday where we can get frustrated with life with political nonsense all over the world–this Friday where we face another weekend like the weekend before–

Pause; Smile; Breathe; Thank God for your blessings; Go slowly.

Do I Have Faith In The Groundhog To Predict Weather?

February 2, 2017

If the groundhog comes out of his hole on Feb. 2 and sees his shadow, he is frightened, returns to hibernation, and there will be six more weeks of winter. –American tradition

If calendars and dates are human constructions to help us keep track of things, do groundhogs even know what day it is?

Do you know that from now until the first day of spring is about six weeks?

Back to our friend, the groundhog. How many of us have faith in its ability to predict weather?

But Paul in his short example of Abraham (Romans 4) uses trust, believe, and have faith an astounding 16 times as verbs describing Abraham. Repeating a word just once lends emphasis. 16 times! Think Paul was making a point?

And what came first–belief or religion?

Belief.

Belief in, trust in, having faith in God is our core response to life.

What about those who do not believe or are not sure about this believe thing?

Well, obviously we should be helping and guiding them toward belief.

Should we differentiate according to race, gender, tribal affiliation, geography, or anything else? No.

If they have faith in God, we should embrace them. Not grill them about whether they accept every tenet of our particular branch of religion.

If they are a child in their belief (not necessarily age), then we should be teaching them the appropriate disciplines (study, meditation, worship, etc.) to help them grow to maturity in faith. (Paul says that elsewhere.)

If they have not faith, it is our duty not to condemn them, but to welcome them. And show them the fruit of faith. And lead them to faith.

Some of us like the mystery and majesty of a Catholic mass (I do, and I’m not Catholic). Some like an old-fashioned protestant worship with organ and hymns written in the 1800s. Some like guitars and drums (I do, go figure, must be bipolar or something). Some like quiet contemplation and prayer.

That’s just different types of people and different styles of upbringing.

What matters is what Noel Paul Stookey wrote in his song Hymn about visiting a church at offering time:

“I just had time to write a note, and all I said was ‘I believe in you’.”

First Comes Faith

February 1, 2017

“Abraham believed God, and it was reckoned to him as righteousness.”  — Paul, the apostle, writing to Christians in Rome

We know from a careful reading of the Old Testament that Abraham was not the only person in the world who believed in (or had faith in) the one God, the creator of the universe. Sometimes he’d run into someone during his journeys who was a believer.

But we have Abraham’s story. That’s because he was the father of three great religions who all worship the single God, not the usual gamut of pagan gods of their era or ours.

Abraham wasn’t called righteous by God because of any particular ritual that he did. Circumcision, the foundation of Jewish ritual, was not yet invented. There was no formal religion.

Abraham simply believed.

And he had faith that God would lead him to where he needed to go. God would protect Abraham. And God would provide a family for his legacy.

I like Paul. The more I study the more I get away from those superficial interpretations saying Paul hated groups of people. You can do all the thinking about theology and meanings of things you want, but Paul already in just the fourth chapter of his letter has told us many times–it’s all about having faith in God, faith in Jesus’ resurrection.

Ever wonder how Abraham came to that faith? Was he taught by his father or mother? Did it just come to him? Were there some teachers or gurus?

We’re not told. Maybe a good thing or we’d turn that into a ritual.

And what about us? Do we think that someone must act like us, agree with our politics, agree with our rituals before we’ll have anything to do with them?

Or, are we simply to believe? And then act where God calls us having the simple faith that God will take us where we need to go to do the right service at the time.

Why do we make things so complicated?

Quality Questions Lead To Quality Life

January 31, 2017

Quality questions create a quality life. Tony Robbins

God definitely wants my attention. For what seems to be the millionth time, the teaching about asking questions pops into my awareness. That quote from someone I normally wouldn’t quote comes from a short chapter in my current reading, “Tools of Titans: The Tactics, Routines, and Habits of Billionaires, Icons, and World-Class Performers” by Tim Ferriss. This is a good enough book packed with hundreds of ideas. If you read it, just remember that Ferriss, like Robbins, can be way over the top.

But questions. What a good reminder.

Remember yesterday where I discussed growth? Getting out of our cocoon?

Unlike the butterfly who aches to get out of the cocoon and change from a caterpillar that crawls around nibbling on leaves to a beautiful flying creature that communes among the beautiful flowers, humans seem to crave the cocoon.

The butterfly successfully completes its growth through extreme physical work. Beating its new wings against the shell that enslaves it until it get strong enough to break through into freedom.

Questions are the extreme work that we humans use to grow, get stronger, mature.

I have a personality problem. Well, I have many, just ask those who know me. But this one can prevent my growth, and probably others. I’m generally content in groups of people to be quiet and listen. Well, unless they’re talking about people. I tune that out.

But if someone asks me a question, I’ll answer it. And if it is a topic I’m passionate about, I can dominate conversation. That is, until a little voice inside interrupts the train of thought to remind me to ask others what they think.

Questions are the basic requirement of growth in my profession as observer and analyst of manufacturing technology. And in my study of theology.

Jesus asked once, “Who do you think I am?” That question alone should start our chain of questions. What has he said? What has he done? What have been the effects of his ministry? What does that mean to me?

What questions are you asking today?

I Feel Safe In My Cocoon

January 30, 2017
There’s a world where I can go
And tell my secrets to
In my room
In my room
In this world I lock out
All my worries and my fears
In my room
In my room
–Beach Boys, Brian Wilson

We wrap ourselves so tightly in our cocoon. So warm, cozy, comforting.

We seldom venture out further than places we know. Where we feel comfortable with people who look and sound just like us.

And ideas? We don’t need new ideas? Those that were passed down from parents, or peers, or preachers–that’s all we need. Research from 50 years ago revealed that we only read those things that reinforce our prejudices.

Today, entire business models that make billions of dollars are built on that research. Do you watch Fox or MSNBC? Ah Ha, we can type cast you. And target you with advertising. And you keep coming back for more advertising because you need the hourly fix of information targeted to your prejudices.

Remember when rock songs were targeted to teenagers? Brian Wilson reflected the adolescent years of growing, but not yet grown. Wanting to be with my peers, yet needing to be alone, in a sanctuary, safe.

[Side note: this of course was written to the middle class kids with parents and families that offered safety; unfortunately today we know that too many kids never feel that safety. Something we need to correct.]

There is the story of the boy who found a cocoon. He showed it to a wise man. The guru said, “Just one thing. Do not help the butterfly get out of the cocoon.”

But sadly, the little boy returned to the guru later. The butterfly was dead.

“You helped it, didn’t you?” he asked the little boy. “You see, in order to grow, become strong, and mature, the butterfly must beat its wings against the cocoon. Struggling with all its might to get out. Then when it breaks through, it is a beautiful butterfly that can fly among the flowers.”

What about us? Do we struggle and try to grow? Or do we try to stay safe in our cocoons?

Get In The Flow

January 27, 2017

They call it The Flow.

Stories have been written about great (American) football quarterbacks. They must be great leaders as well as gifted athletes. A game is on the line in the final minutes. Execute properly and the team wins. Lose focus, and loss follows. 

They are focused only on the moment. Just the next play. The mechanics have been drilled into them through ceaseless practice. The team must move the ball 10 yards on this play. That is their focus.

After the game, they may not even remember all the plays. Just the success.

Computer programmers get that. You focus so intently on coding that problem that all sense of time is lost.

Writers get that, too. You’ve done the research. The problem is laid out. It’s just concentrate and execute.

Little kids. Billy out playing baseball with the friends (if they still are allowed outside to play anymore give how overprotective Americans have become). Doesn’t even hear Mom calling for dinner.

Spiritual masters. Look how long Moses stayed atop Mt. Sinai. Jesus in the wilderness.

But not just masters at that level.

When is the last time you lost yourself in something? Remember the feeling. Was it more than a month ago? A year? A decade?

Maybe it is time to find something to lose yourself in. 

Prayer. Service. Worship. Play. Music. Writing. Work.

Try it.

When You Find Yourself In Complacency

January 26, 2017

So you wake up. Who knows what wakes you up. There you were happily asleep and Pow, there you are, wide awake.

It happens in the middle of the night.

It happens when you’re in an organization.

You were lulled into complacency. The pot has not yet boiled (see yesterday’s post). You have time. Just like the “good guy” in those 1930s short movies. You pull the girl off the railroad track just before the train comes.

But there is no girl. No train. Except metaphorically.

You can rescue yourself. Can you rescue the organization?

That is the question.

What do you do?

1. You can bail out. You wake up. Look around. See the signs.  Think you’ll be better off elsewhere. There you go, searching for a new adventure.

2. You can close your eyes. Ignore the signs. Slip back into the comfort of the known. And slowly…die. If not physically, then spiritually.

3. You can decide to try to change things. Become an idea monster. Every morning you awake. Brew that cup of coffee. Grab your notebook (you do have a notebook, right?). Write 10 ideas. Every morning. You talk to people about doing things differently. Find some people who are awake. Build a coalition. Go for it.

Me? I went off for other adventures. Sometimes you just can’t find that coalition. Sometimes the “supreme leader” just doesn’t have the skill or stomach for change. Or, they have a different agenda. Then it’s time to forge your own trail.

That light in the tunnel. It could be a train coming at you. Or…it could be the light out. The light to a better you.

Why Do People Hold Views Contrary to Facts Or Truth?

January 25, 2017

The speaker works so hard. She uses every trick of emotional pull she’s been taught to sway the audience to believe her. She wants to get them to change in one way or another.

Sometimes the effort reaches such a fever pitch because she just doesn’t see the results in the audience she desires.

Good speakers know that it isn’t facts that will persuade an audience. It isn’t facts that will move hearers to desired action–whether it is an altar call or a service project or a vote in the election.

Have you ever wondered why people you meet hold opinions that are so contrary to fact that it is laughable? Intelligent people. People that you respect on many levels. Yet, they just can’t get past their opinions.

Fact is that our brains are wondrous creations. Brains are not as rational as we may have been led to believe. Our brains are actually quite gullible. They’ll believe anything you tell them.

Tell your brain often enough the same “lie” and it will cling to it until the end. Ask any preacher how hard it is to work up enough emotion to get people to come forward on an altar call. Let alone really change their lives.

Even engineers. We fact-based people. We’re more swayed by stories of injuries or deaths to make us look for change than when someone says there must be a bug in the program.

Jesus on the walk to Emmaus after his resurrection opened the Scriptures to the travelers and showed them why he had to be the Messiah.

Try that with an Orthodox Jew today. Won’t work. They have their interpretation.

Ever try that with a Christian. “Where did you get that,” you may ask. They say, “The Bible.” You open the Bible and show them. Did you change their mind? Nope.

Sometimes the only way to retain our sanity is to just recognize defeat and pray that someday something will open their eyes. It does happen, you know.

The Subtle Smooth Slide Into Complacency

January 24, 2017

Ah, the warmth. It feels so good. Is it getting warmer? I’m not sure, but the warmth eases muscle stress. Frees the joints. And it gets warmer.Then, it’s too hot.

It could be the proverbial frog being slowly boiled. Or it could be me in the steam room.

Or it could be any of us in our church, our company, our organization.

How easily we don’t notice we’re not growing anymore. We’re not developing new services for our customer.

We just sort of gently slid into the routine.

Same people. We’re comfortable with them. No one around to upset things with new ideas.

We’re comfortable with the same surroundings. We enter and everything is familiar. We feel like we belong. We don’t notice the things that would turn off an outsider. Fatal to a church or retail business.

What was our mission again? I sort of forget. I know it’s printed somewhere. Probably posted on a wall that has just become part of the environment.

It feels so good to be comfortable.

But…

Is that what we are placed here on Earth to experience?

Or are we supposed to push through comfort? Find that place of discomfort that impels us toward fulfilling a mission.

Was it telling people about Jesus?

Providing a valuable service to people?

Designing and making a product that will bring joy, relief, health to others?

“There are three types of people in this world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened.”

Which are you?

You Have a Choice

January 23, 2017

You cannot always chose what life will throw at you.

You can choose your response. Maybe after an initial outburst of “Why me, God?”

I teach soccer referees, give the player or coach leeway on an initial emotional exclamation. You get kicked. It hurts. You exclaim something. It may not be nice. But it hurt. After that, there is a choice. Keep it up or shut up.

Sometimes what comes at us is a result of choices.

We can choose lots of fried food and sodas.

Where did that overweight come from? The stomach and digestive tract issues? The cancer of the gall bladder (or elsewhere)?

We chose.

Our friend suggests something fun to do. We choose. We get into trouble. (What person who has survived being a teenager can say that never happened?)

We chose.

We devote ourselves to helping other people.

Another choice.

Sometimes someone you know is not aware of their issues. But to offer unwanted advice is never welcome.

You choose to be quiet until the appropriate time.

Choices. We make thousands per day. Choose wisely.