Q: How do you eat an elephant? A: One bite at a time.
We can look at our to do list or agenda or stuff piling up on our calendar. We feel overwhelmed. What to do?
Take the next action. Do the one thing that moves the project forward. Make the one phone call. Research the trip. Confirm the next appointment.
Buddhism teaches something beyond the usual self-help guru.
Take the next right action. Move this discussion to a moral plane. Do the right thing, not the expedient thing.
I’ve read the New Testament—the story of Jesus and the beginnings of his movement. Many times.
One of the many lessons I learned from Jesus’ story was the futility of changing people’s hearts through laws.
Think through the stories of his interactions with religious people of his day. He would poke at the religiosity of their following their myriad of laws, yet the hollowness of their lives. Think of the cup brilliantly clean on the outside yet dirty inside.
The Civil Rights Movement of the early 60s formed my social and political thinking. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s speech about judging people by the strength of their character and not the color of their skin struck a harmonic chord with my early lessons about Jesus. It’s what’s inside that counts most—for me as well as you.
The Movement led to many necessary changed laws in the US.
Observing today’s social environment, the changed laws led to very few changed hearts.
The other day I observed that if all the spiritual study in the world doesn’t change the way you live, then that time was wasted.
What does it take to change a person’s heart?
You can study scripture as diligently as possible, but if it doesn’t change your behavior, then you have wasted your time.
I know, logicians would be driven crazy by the logic of that title. Bear with me.
We are in an age where the natural human tendency to divide people into different groups is exacerbated by social media.
My undergraduate years were marked by the rise of a certain type of “feminism.” The theory was that females are innately better at certain things, say leadership, then males. Even though another part of the theory seemed to hold that biologically there was no meaningful difference. (I was confused in the late 60s—but maybe it was the times.)
Come to find out that people are people. Some people, male and female, can develop and lead organizations respecting and uplifting people; some people, male and female, cannot.
I have had the privilege of interviewing and meeting CEOs of multi-million dollar and even billion dollar companies. I worked with maintenance technicians who barely left high school with a diploma. I was pretty much as impressed with one group as the other. Each group had very smart people. Each group had people full of hot air.
I just left a software developer company conference. The place was full of engineers with a few marketing and business leaders thrown in. Everyone was gracious, patient, very smart. My conversations were enlightening and enlivening.
Think (and act) on these words of wisdom from the Apostle James:
“My brothers and sisters, do you with your acts of favoritism really believe in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ? For if a person with gold rings and in fine clothes comes into your assembly, and if a poor person in dirty clothes also comes in, and if you take notice of the one wearing the fine clothes and say, “Have a seat here, please,” while to the one who is poor you say, “Stand there,” or, “Sit at my feet,” have you not made distinctions among yourselves, and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my beloved brothers and sisters. Has not God chosen the poor in the world to be rich in faith and to be heirs of the kingdom that he has promised to those who love him? But you have dishonored the poor. Is it not the rich who oppress you? Is it not they who drag you into court? Is it not they who blaspheme the excellent name that was invoked over you?
You do well if you really fulfill the royal law according to the scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you show partiality, you commit sin[…]”
These posts are always 300 words or fewer. I’ve thought so much and read so much on this topic that I’ve written more of an essay than thought.
Wisdom from my friend James (the Apostle) who writes words of wisdom.
“You must understand this, my beloved: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger;”
And again,
“How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire! And the tongue is a fire. The tongue is placed among our members as a world of iniquity; it stains the whole body, sets on fire the cycle of nature, and is itself set on fire by hell. For every species of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by the human species, but no one can tame the tongue—a restless evil, full of deadly poison.”
I have read much and thought long about the event and aftermath of the shooting of political influencer Charley Kirk. I had no idea who he was having decided not to follow these political influencers of any ideology. I understand what happens inside me when my emotions are stirred. I prefer a broad and reasoned approach to learning.
Two people whose works I read published blurbs about a side of Kirk not aligned with his public persona. But it’s the public persona that counts. I have learned through study of history and through observation that people who exist by inciting base emotions in followers seldom end well.
But today we have something previous decades, centuries, and indeed millennia didn’t—the ability to spread opinions and videos widely and almost instantaneously.
Cal New port earned a PhD in computer science, has written several best selling books found on my bookcase (Deep Work, Digital Minimalism, Slow Productivity), and is faculty co-founder of the Georgetown University Center for Digital Ethics. He’s been writing on this topic for several years.
His recently released a newsletter addressed many concerns that many have (including me).
Many of you have been asking me about the assassination of the conservative commentator Charlie Kirk earlier this week during a campus event at Utah Valley University. At the time of this writing, little is yet known about the shooter’s motives, but there have been enough cases of political violence over the past year that I think I can say what I’m about to with conviction…
This isn’t a one-off. It’s a situation encompassing some time.
Those of us who study online culture like to use the phrase, “Twitter is not real life.” But as we saw yet again this week, when the digital discourses fostered on services like Twitter (and Bluesky, and TikTok) do intersect with the real world, whether they originate from the left or the right, the results are often horrific.
He’s not pulling his punches here. And what do we learn?
This should tell us all we need to know about these platforms: they are toxic and dehumanizing. They are responsible, as much as any other force, for the unravelling of civil society that seems to be accelerating.
Since we know the evils of these platforms, why do they remain popular?
They tell a compelling story: that all of your frantic tapping and swiping makes you a key part of a political revolution, or a fearless investigator, or a righteous protestor – that when you’re online, you’re someone important, doing important things during an important time.
But the reality is…
But this, for the most part, is an illusion. In reality, you’re toiling anonymously in an attention factory, while billionaire overseers mock your efforts and celebrate their growing net worths.
What can we do?
After troubling national events, there’s often a public conversation about the appropriate way to respond. Here’s one option to consider: Quit using these social platforms. Find other ways to keep up with the news, or spread ideas, or be entertained. Be a responsible grown-up who does useful things; someone who serves real people in the real world.
To save civil society, we need to end our decade-long experiment with global social platforms. We tried them. They became dark and awful. It’s time to move on.
Enough is enough.
One of my sources for fitness and nutrition coaching comes from a team Arnold Schwarzenegger has assembled following his term as California’s governor. They publish the Pump Club newsletter and have an app. I use the app to track resistance training and nutrition.
Germane to this topic of social media is the carrier of said media—the smartphone.
They head one of the articles on this newsletter:
Having your smartphone nearby—even if you’re not using it—can reduce your brainpower.
Think that evil little thing is innocuous just lying on your desk?
Researchers examined if our phones drain more than just our attention when they buzz or light up. To test this, they conducted two experiments with nearly 800 smartphone users. Participants were asked to complete tests that required full attention and cognitive capacity—like problem-solving and memory tasks. The twist? Some participants had their phones placed on the desk, some had them in their pocket or bag, and others had them in another room.
I like the newsletter and app partly due to their reliance on real science.
Scientists found that the closer the phone was, the worse the performance. Those with their phones on the desk showed significantly reduced cognitive capacity compared to those whose phones were in another room. Even having the phone turned off and face down was not enough to prevent the drop.
It’s time for all of us, one-by-one, to leave the (un)social media behind. I deleted my Facebook and X (Twitter) apps a few years ago. I visit Facebook one time per day on my computer to wish friends a happy birthday and to see what’s happening in my community. I deleted the LinkedIn app. It’s getting almost as bad. I visit it once a day just to check in briefly—also on my computer.
We can all also be aware of the consequences of what we say—perhaps being a little kinder, more understanding, less vicious in our remarks.
My music life began with percussion lessons at about 8 or 9. I was in the University of Cincinnati band a year. Feeling percussion was a bit awkward to move around with, I taught myself guitar from books and friends.
My practice slipped for a few years for several reasons among which were moving and Covid.
Then I did a little performing discovering that a few years off from both playing and singing causing major negative effects.
I also have a hereditary condition (prominent among those of Irish and Nordic descent, and I have Irish ancestors) called Dupuytren contracture. Hardening stiffness of the tendons of the hand cause fingers to contract. My case is mild. The massage therapist helps. I picked up guitar seriously again as a method of stretching my hand.
Starting again was not like riding a bike. My mind said it knew hundreds of chords and patterns and progressions. My hands said, “What???”
Why all this detail? This bleeds over into spiritual practice. It’s all about doing things intentionally.
There is always a well-known solution to every human problem—neat, plausible, and wrong. HL Mencken
Some people sit in libraries or their studies reading books and deriving theories about how things should work and how other people should think and act.
Mencken’s thought reminded me of a saying that undereducated people develop simplistic answers to complicated problems, while overeducated people develop complicated answers to simple problems.
Some problems are simple problems requiring simple solutions.
Many times problems are messy requiring compromise and rethinking. The solutions may not satisfy everyone.
We need to learn to live in a world without perfection. Living within paradox has some tension but in the long run is most satisfying.
I remember the date, place, people with me, and cause the last time my anger overcame me. To be honest, anger was often lurking just below the surface looking for a trigger event to take over. From the time I was a youth, I could flip from quiet to not quiet, so to speak.
Ancient wisdom tries to teach us about becoming the master of our emotions.
Science meets wisdom. In a recent newsletter on health and fitness, Arnold Schwarzenegger writes:
When stress hits, most people think they need to shut down their emotions to stay in control. But real control isn’t about avoidance—it’s about awareness. Emotions are messengers, not marching orders. The goal isn’t to feel nothing. It’s to learn how to feel without losing yourself. If you’ve ever been told to “just let it go” when you’re stressed or upset, you probably rolled your eyes. But there’s actual science showing that accepting difficult emotions — instead of fighting them— rewires how your brain works. Accepting your emotions activates completely different brain networks than trying to suppress them, leading to less rumination and self-criticism.
Some people let go—much to their later recriminations. Realizing that expressing that emotion may not be appropriate, we try to suppress it. Schwarzenegger paints this picture:
Think of it like this: suppression is like holding a beach ball underwater—it takes constant effort and energy. Acceptance is like letting the ball float on the surface—no struggle required, and your brain can redirect that energy elsewhere.
I often turn to the wisdom of ancient Christians. In this case, the master of psychology, John Clymacus, aka St. John of the Ladder, who wrote The Ladder of Divine Ascent.
He says:
The first step toward freedom from anger is to keep the lips silent when the heart is stirred. I say, Amen to that, brother. The next, to keep thoughts silent when the soul is upset; the last, to be totally calm when unclean winds are blowing.
Achieving this calm can only come if we have practiced becoming calm through meditation and intentional prayer.
And another thing from John—All anger and bitterness disappears before the fragrance of humility.
Humility may be a tough path for us Americans. Maybe for other humans, as well. Yes, another practice—putting others before ourselves.
While on vacation in Scotland last week, I saw news that crossed my technology professional side regarding Artificial Intelligence with my spiritual formation professional side about being able to say any hateful thing without repercussion. (I really don’t know the whole “woke/anti-woke” non-debate. I really don’t want to know! Being me, I would probably not endorse either camp.)
When politicians speak, I use a translator like the Babel fish in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Some people call it a BS filter. That’s a little different. I use that often listening to marketing people.
But something I do know—because of long, hard, bitter experience. Words matter.
Used properly they build up, heal, guide. Otherwise they spread hate, hurt people, demotivate.
It’s easier to slow down and choose the right ones than it is to try to take the wrong one back.
At least four books have come my way recently about the importance of holding civil conversations with people with whom you may disagree.
Most would go along with my previous post about Be Curious, Not Judgmental. Ask questions and listen—honestly, really, listen. Not to argue. But to understand. It’s not noises in the ear canal. Engage brain, engage heart, focus on the other.
Kindness, care, gentle spirit, accepting (even if not agreeing).
Like the Youngbloods sang in 1967, “Come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody get together try to love one another right now.”
[Note: The Babel fish is a small, bright yellow fish, which can be placed in someone’s ear in order for them to be able to hear any language translated into their first language. Ford Prefect puts one in Arthur Dent’s ear at the beginning of the story so that he can hear the Vogon speech.}
Dan Millman in Peaceful Warrior Newsletter – July 2025
It wasn’t until I met the Sage (Dr. David K. Reynolds) that I fully understood that neither I nor anyone else has direct control over arising thoughts or passing emotional weather — and therefore, no responsibility for random thoughts or emotions. (We can only be responsible for what we can control.) In fact the only thing over which we have a good bit of control is our behavior — how we move; the actions we take. And we are responsible for our actions whether or not we happen to feel inspired or motivated or fearful or angry or sad.
Wisdom resides in our understanding of what we cannot control and must therefore live with and understanding what is in our control and working on it.
Gary Mintchell
Faith Venture 