Archive for the ‘Humility’ Category

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Managing Change

July 7, 2026

You may think you are in charge. Maybe you have read many business management and personal development books. Maybe you even believed them. And tried to implement ideas.

On the business side of my studies, I read about transforming your business or managing AI. I’ve been busy undoing changes I made in my nutrition and fitness. A few poor choices, and I have loss of energy and systems issues. 

We think we manage change. Actually change happens. Then we manage us.

David Allen, of Getting Things Done fame, recently discussed managing change. Managing change is really about managing life, which is a dynamically flowing and shifting river. Swimming and navigating are great to know all the time, because you may need them at any moment.

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Anyone Can Draw Attention To Themselves

July 2, 2026

Our pastor recently taught from the story where Jesus is invited to dinner by a prominent Pharisee. As all the guests are arranged around the table, a woman enters the area, kneels at the feet of Jesus, wets his feet with her tears, wipe his feet with her hair, then massages them with expensive oil.

The story often focuses on the woman. Let’s take a broader look at the scene.

The story does not take place in someone’s home. This is a desert climate. These dinners at this level of society were set up in a courtyard facing the street. The scene was arranged with care such that everyone in the village would walk past to gawk. The importance of the dinner guests reflected on the importance of the host.

Jesus was displayed as a sign of the importance of the Pharisee. We know who was designated as the most important person in the story by how Jesus was treated.

The Pharisee was upset that his carefully staged dinner party was upstaged. He complained about the woman’s actions. Jesus, remarking on the expected hospitality of the culture, reprimanded him by noting that the host neither washed his feet nor anointed him with oil.

The Pharisee staged an event designed to draw attention to himself. Instead, the woman drew attention to Jesus.

I wonder how often we stage scenes designed to draw attention to ourselves? It could be the temper tantrum of a two-year-old (or an adult acting out like one). It could be interrupting a conversation with a cutting remark.

Better are those who listen and connect with others.

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You’ve Got To Be Carefully Taught

June 17, 2026

Hardly surprising if you were Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung who coined the term synchronicity. I thought about my “task” when responding to people who post comments to social media or drop an offensive comment in a conversation. The thoughts went to responding through curiosity not judging. Then I looked at using questions.

Last night (as I write this), we saw a performance of Rogers and Hammerstein’s South Pacific. We’ve seen it several times over the years. I remembered it, yet I forgot parts. Like this song (written in the late 1940s) that explores hate and racial fears. Ideas compounding upon each other never cease to amaze me.

I offer the lyrics to You’ve Got To Be Carefully Taught by Rogers and Hammerstein from South Pacific for contemplation.

You’ve got to be taught to hate and fear,

You’ve got to be taught from year to year,

It’s got to be drummed in your dear little ear—

You’ve got to be carefully taught!

You’ve got to be taught to be afraid

Of people whose eyes are oddly made,

And people whose skin is a different shade—

You’ve got to be carefully taught.

You’ve got to be taught before it’s too late,

Before you are six or seven or eight,

To hate all the people your relatives hate—

You’ve got to be carefully taught!

You’ve got to be carefully taught!

I was cheated before

And I’m cheated again

By a mean little world

Of mean little men.

And the one chance for me

Is the life I know best.

To be on an island

And to hell with the rest.

I will cling to this island

Like a tree or a stone,

I will cling to this island

And be free—and alone.

Posted in Attitude, Ethics, Humility, Justice | Leave a Comment »

Talking People Out of Hate–Part 1

June 15, 2026

[Previously posted in December 2025. Seems to go along with the previous two posts.]

The conversation occurred between a black jazz musician and a white member of the Ku Klux Klan. The white man asked, “Why should I listen to you? You’re just a drive-by shooter and gang-banger.”

“Because I’m black?” replied the musician. “Perhaps that’s just where they live. On the other hand, you must be a serial killer. David Berkowitz, Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, I can’t think of one black serial killer.”

“That’s not fair,” came the reply.

The breakthrough created a conversation. Perhaps not a conversion. But a start. Breaking through stereotypes leads to better conversations. Perhaps we can see other humans as, well, human.

Thinking of peaceful relationships hopefully leading to joy during this Christmas Season (some people’s experience of Advent), I reflected on this podcast episode of Adam Grant’s Rethinking. (I’ve previously recommended his book.) The only link I could find was to the podcast app I use on iOS. You can find it, I’m sure, on Apple podcasts.

This is the description of the episode. I highly recommend listening. The Ku Klux Klan is one of the tightest-knit White supremacist groups in America—once someone joins, they’re usually in for life. But since the 1980s, over 200 members have renounced their affiliation, and all give credit to the same man: a Black jazz musician named Daryl Davis. In this episode, Adam is joined by Daryl and Jeff Schoep, a former leader of the largest neo-Nazi group in the US whose life and mind were changed by meeting and befriending Daryl. They discuss techniques for challenging ignorance and prejudice, analyze the cognitive dissonance experienced by members of extremist groups, and reflect on the conversations with Daryl that helped Jeff think again. They also explore the limits of empathy and curiosity.

I cannot explain how some people come to feel hatred toward other groups. I’ve read many books and papers. More to my interest concerns having civil conversations across divisions. As a liberal living in a very conservative area, I’ve had some practice. It’s a continuing education process. How can you reach out and gently help others break stereotypes? Perhaps also for me.

Some links for Host & Guest

Adam Grant (Instagram: @adamgrant | LinkedIn: @adammgrant | Website: https://adamgrant.net/) 

Daryl Davis (Instagram: @realdaryldavis | Website: https://www.daryldavis.com/) 

Jeff Schoep (Instagram: @jeff_schoep | Website: https://jeffschoep.com/) 

Links

Homepage

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Posted in Attitude, Humility, Listening | Leave a Comment »

Note to Self

June 11, 2026

I must take care to not lose equanimity when I see messages from someone purporting to speak for Jesus that contradict everything I’ve learned from studying the Gospels.

Just today I saw another social media post passing along blatant lies. This has become a regular occurrence. I don’t know what has so riled up the person to repost stuff from unknown sources. I wrote an extensive reply. Then I deleted it. Then I muted the person such that I will no longer see these things.

Even social discussions when someone blathers a rude opinion rarely deserves a reply. Maybe a “not everyone agrees with that.” And let it drop.

When called upon, it is my duty to defend Jesus.

My first job, according to Jesus, is to love those who oppose me—and Jesus.

I’m improving—but still trying.

Enter email address on the right and click follow to receive updates via email. I will never spam you. I’m not in that business! Thank you. You can also check out my book list and my 10-part video series on Romans as a Guid to Spiritual Formation.

Posted in Grace, Humility | 1 Comment »

Outbreak of Humility

June 4, 2026

While reading the opening of The Imitation of Christ, I had a sudden vision. Wouldn’t we love to see an outbreak of true humility among followers of Jesus?

Enter email address on the right and click follow to receive updates via email. I will never spam you. I’m not in that business! Thank you. You can also check out my book list and my 10-part video series on Romans as a Guid to Spiritual Formation.

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Owning Our Mistakes

May 19, 2026

Perhaps you’ve been there. 

Something goes wrong. The product/service did not satisfy. It fell short of quality.

We recently had dinner at a new place after a concert at the local high school. (By the way, I’m blown away by all the levels of orchestra there. Love to see kids developing talents.)

It’s already late. Server takes order. Later, he must have seen me touching my iPhone checking the time, for he soon stops by and tells us “the kitchen is a little backed up, and our food should be arriving shortly.” Observation, the place is busy, but not packed.

Food comes. They could not verify the accuracy of two orders. Eventually, they take the two orders back to the kitchen. Returning after a few minuted, they place the two orders before us.

The manager stops by. He offers a bland apology, saying, “We have a new line cook, and he assembled the sandwiches improperly.”

Being a nice guy who was hungry, I said nothing. But I thought about it.

Consider this, and reflect if you (and I) have ever reacted thus:

  1. I did not accept the blame, instead deflected it upon a defenseless employee.
  2. I did not acknowledge that it is my responsibility to assure proper training for said employee.
  3. I did not immediately offer some sort of make-good (sent the server later to offer a free desert).
  4. (They thought they pulled one over on us, but I’ll not return) We have reason to believe that they took the meat temperature toothpick from my cooler temp to the more well cooked with the additional extras my companion ordered while overcooking the burger for my companion probably from the sandwich they originally presented to me. We could tell.

There is a manager who needs to find a job within the scope of his abilities.

I wonder, though, how often you and I have taken some short cut and placed the blame squarely upon a defenseless someone else. I as for forgiveness for the times I have slipped.

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Humility

March 5, 2026

Some people worry about what other people are thinking about them. Or worry they are watching them.

Surprise! Almost no one is watching. Almost no one cares.

Some people think that the opportunity to talk or speak means they can talk about themselves.

Surprise! Most people aren’t really interested in listening to you talk about yourself. Unless it’s a caring friend or acquaintance who want sincerely to know how you are doing.

The Desert Fathers wrote often about humility. And it’s cousin, pride. They warned that we must be on guard. We must become self-aware. When we notice ourselves beginning to stray into self -absorption or focusing on ourselves rather than the other person, we must pause and refocus.

I write this not because I’m perfect, but because I have once again noticed how I was more focused on talking about me instead of listening.

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Posted in Awareness, Humility | Leave a Comment »

My Advice–Humility

February 12, 2026

A student approached Augustine, the Bishop of Hippo, asking for advice. Augustine gave three words of advice.

“The first part is humility; the second, humility; the third, humility; and this I would continue to repeat as often as you might ask direction.”

How about we all try a dose of humility. Probably more than once a day!

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Pride and Humility

January 23, 2026

Like I’ve said before, James does not soft-pedal his message.

You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us? But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”

John Climacus, one of the more influential Desert Fathers, also spoke boldly.

Pride is the denial of God, an invention of the devil, contempt for men. It is the mother of condemnation, the offspring of praise, a sign of barrenness. It is a flight from God’s help, the harbinger of madness, the author of downfall. It is the cause of diabolical possession, the source of anger, the gateway of hypocrisy. It is the fortress of demons, the custodian of sins, the source of hardheartedness. It is the denial of compassion, a bitter pharisee, a cruel judge. It is the foe of God. It is the root of blasphemy.

Whew!

Stories in our news feeds would shrivel like a dried worm on the street on a sunny day following a rainstorm without prideful people to describe.

More important than observing others, let us turn the microscope on ourselves. Where does pride sneak past our defenses showing up in most unfortunate ways? Avoiding pride requires ever present vigilance. We let our guard down for even a moment, and pride can slither into our being.

Where should we focus to avoid the power of pride? James says:

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

I hope he doesn’t mean to constantly walk around in gloom. But when we recognize pride growing in ourselves, time for optimism and laughter is over. In its place enters a dose of humility and turning to God’s grace to restore our souls.

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Posted in Attitude, Awareness, Humility, pride, Wisdom | 3 Comments »

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