Archive for the ‘Friends’ Category

I Haven’t Learned That Yet

January 23, 2025

I Guess I Haven’t Learned That Yet: Discovering New Ways of Living When the Old Ways Stop Working, by Shauna Niequist.

How does one deal with the crash and burn of a famous father’s career (dragging down theirs)j along with the body beginning to act in strange and mysterious ways? Add a physical move to a completely different environment and way of life.

Shauna Niequist (NEE-kwist) blends fifty vignettes into a book that explores how she coped with the grief of sudden upheaval of life.

This is an excellent book club read for those groups not too timid to discuss dealing with painful real life.

Maybe you or someone you know currently deals with some shock of life and the resultant emotions and physical reactions. Don’t offer advice or ignore them. Buy this book and simply hand it to them. It would be like giving them a friend to walk along with them on the journey.

But the writing contains neither hopeless nor despair.

Oh, how do you deal with it? One day at a time. Seek out some joy—walking, cooking, gathering with friends over food and wine and conversation. Find a good therapist. In a weird way, it’s a celebration of life over pain.

Posted in Compassion, Faith, Friends, Living | Leave a Comment »

Lonely People

September 8, 2022

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

Elenor Rigby, Lennon/McCartney

Not being lonely constitutes one path to longevity.

Have you friends? A friend? Someone?

I think of Jesus and how he was at times alone among friends. Have you ever been in a room full of people and still feel alone? Have you called that room a church sometimes?

Maybe a family? I have memories of being a child at home and being alone even with three brothers. My mom probably wished for alone time.

Being alone does not equal being lonely. I like times to be alone. I like times to be with others. I am both extrovert and introvert—like most of us.

But lonely? When that visits, we hope it intends a short stay hotel not an extended stay residence.

I wish I could advise you on being unlonely. If I knew, I’d practice it. Go to a coffee house, see someone and ask a question, I guess. Questions are your friend.

Posted in Attitude, Disciplines, emotions, Friends | Leave a Comment »

Know Before You Speak

August 5, 2022

I picked up this thought from the James Clear newsletter (author of Atomic Habits).

Playwright, poet, and writer, Samuel Johnson, on listening and learning: “I never desire to converse with a man who has written more than he has read.”

This seems to fit within the wisdom of the Apostle James, the half-brother of Jesus, who advised thinking before speaking, be slow to speak and quick to listen.

I finally blocked most of Facebook from my feed in 2020 because so much was just passing stuff around that probably originated in Russia, anyway. No thought. All reaction. No conversation.

Johnson was right. Interact with those who have read and thought much. Fewer people. More depth.

Posted in communication, Friends, Listening | Leave a Comment »

People You Can Live Better Without

February 26, 2015

From Proverbs:

18:24 — Some friends play at friendship but a true friend sticks closer than one’s nearest kin.

22:24 — Make no friends with those given to anger.

I saw this blog describing people you can live without.

Other people can cheer you up, or they can drag you down. Did you ever consider how long it takes to recover from a chance meeting with a negative person? Even if you try to maintain a level personality, a few words can bring down your emotional well being and cause grief.

It is difficult to be productive with such an attitude. A negative co-worker is like an anchor weighing you down to the bottom of the sea. A negative friend does not help you succeed. A needy person can suck all the energy out of you.

Take a lesson from Lidiya K as well as from Proverbs. These are people you can live without. Try to sever relations as quickly as possible.

Here is her list. Can you add to it?

  1. Complainers.
  2. The ones that are with you only in good times.
  3. Those who don’t believe in you.
  4. Victims.
  5. People who gossip.

Look instead for people who build up other people. People who are servants. People who are wise.

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