Archive for the ‘Disciplines’ Category

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Power Others Have Over Us

June 20, 2016

Charles Shultz’s Peanuts cast of characters includes Pigpen. Pigpen is a boy who always has a cloud of dust around him.

Have you ever met someone who is similar except that the clouds are dark clouds of impending storm of negativity, criticism? They just seem to suck the energy right out of you.

I’ve been on a reading binge. Finished four books in two weeks (plus three murder mysteries). The books all took a look at personal productivity and leadership.

Henry Cloud is one of my favorite writers. He blends study, experience, and deep thinking and produces helpful books of good prose that are easy to read.

The Power of the Other contains the usual blend of research and insight from his practice of executive coaching.

Looking at my example, we all have people in our lives that suck our energy reserves. However, have you considered the people who seem to energize you?

Research confirms that relationships with the right kind of people actually boost our energy.

Relationship, the connections between people, not only enhances our mental functioning, but actually works to impart it, to provide it. Capacity is built through energy and intelligence.– Daniel Siegel, Pocket Guide to Interpersonal Neurobiology: An Integrative Handbook of the Mind.

Cloud explains the quote, “I love the definition Siegel uses borrowing a phrase from physicists. [Energy is] the capacity to do something.”

Can you believe it? People–the right relationships–not only give us more energy, they also enhance our mental functioning. That reminded me of engineering school. The best score I received on a chemistry exam followed a couple of days of studying with a small group.

Recently I was working at a coffee shop near a table of young women. The energy around that table actually helped mine, and I didn’t even know who they were or what they were studying. Turns out they were Registered Nursing graduates studying for their State Boards. I think they all did well.

The same principle applies to Bible study.

Surround yourself with people who have positive outlooks and impart energy. As Cloud said in an earlier book, Necessary Endings, find a way to end dysfunctional relationships. Get out. Run.

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Don’t Abdicate Responsibility For Decisions

June 17, 2016

Have you ever been part of a leadership team trying to achieve a reasonable consensus on a decision and have someone (or several) pass on contributing to the decision?

I’ve observed a phenomenon over many years of professional and personal life where someone who has the chance to contribute to a decision abdicate the throne and let others decide.

In this way, they also avoid responsibility for the outcome. Usually it means they also avoid responsibility for doing the work–one way or another.

There is another side to the dynamic. After the decision is made, these same people delight in continual criticism of the decision. I’ve seen it so often. In families, in committees, in churches, in business.

When I was younger and early in my career, I’d listen to these complainers thinking maybe they had some insight. But it didn’t take me long to discover that this was actually a strategy for avoiding decision-making, contributing to the effort, and responsibility.

It is as if they are trying to stay out of the way in case the decision was wrong. Yet, they’ll try to take some of the praise if things go well.

These people are to be avoided. Well, if you married one, then you’re probably stuck with constant criticism I guess. It’s a personality type. If they are on a committee or department or team you lead, try to marginalize them or even move them on to somewhere else.

Frank and bold discussion about decisions is to be welcomed. Snide comments and grumbling after the fact undermines leadership and the team. It is to be removed.

If you are a self-aware person, then recognize when you start to become one of those grumblers. Stop it and stay  quiet. Resolve to be part of the solution the next time.

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Get Cleansed Not Just Healed

June 16, 2016

The Gospel of Mark is a great piece of writing. Declarative sentences, concrete nouns, action verbs. The action moves at an almost breathless pace.

The book was designed to be read to the gathering. The gathering was perhaps a synagogue or a courtyard of a large home. People would gather around and someone would read. Perhaps originally someone would be in the gathering who had been at one or more of the scenes. He or she would nod their head in remembrance.

Some recent studying I was doing discussed the idea that the healing miracles Mark reports also carried the concept of cleansing.

Remember the whole Old Testament thing about Clean and Unclean? A woman menstruating was unclean. Touching a dead body was unclean. Eating pork or shellfish was unclean. Lepers had to call out “Unclean” as they walked lest someone touch them and in turn become unclean.

Unclean meant separation from the community. When Jesus healed a leper or the woman with the blood flow that never ceased, he did far more than a physical act of healing. He cleansed them. They went from unclean to clean. They could now rejoin their community.

Doctors today can perform some of the miracles of Jesus daily. Physically. But healing the whole person and restoring to community? That’s hard.

I’ve read where plastic surgeons have done great work restoring a face badly disfigured by accident or disease. When the bandages come off and a mirror is held in front of the patient, they will often not see the change. What they see in the mirror is what they remember, not what they are.

Sometimes we fail to see the cleansing we receive through grace and instead continue to think of ourselves as unclean. Sometimes we forget as we are helping someone else that part of the help is to “cleanse”, that is, to bring them back into the community restored to wholeness.

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Are You Smarter Than Average?

June 15, 2016

OK, let’s have some fun this morning. At 5:30 am, I’m sitting in the United Club at the Orlando airport. My carefully plotted business trip hit a snag. Meeting in Chicago cancelled. Rearrange flights. I get home a day early, but I get to take an early flight.

There was an article at Big Think that picked up on a variety of studies of indicators of higher intelligence. I probably hit 10 of the 16. Those of you who know me personally can probably figure out most of the 10. And definitely some that I’m not (atheist, for example; and I don’t own a cat although I have a couple of times).

First list, eight signs you’re smarter than average:

  • You’re the oldest child
  • You took music lessons
  • You’re thin
  • You’ve used recreational drugs
  • You have a cat
  • You don’t smoke
  • You’re left handed
  • You’re tall

Second list:

  • Night Owl
  • Introvert
  • Was breastfed
  • Liberal politically
  • Reading early
  • Being funny (and sexy)
  • Atheist
  • [teenagers with higher IQs tended to be virgins in high school]

Have fun with it. Use it at the next party. I won’t even ask if you put any stock in these lists. 😉

And sitting in an airport at 5:30 am is probably never going to make that list!

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Just Me First, Alone

June 14, 2016

I’ll never learn to be just me first, by myself. — Carly Simon

There was a young man. He had never seen a picture of himself. Obviously this story takes place long before selfies when we broadcast our pictures to the world ad nauseam. But really, he had never seen himself. Then, looking into a still pond, he saw a young man so beautiful that he had to meet him. He could not, of course. He fell in love with his own reflection. His love for himself killed him. His name was Narcissus.

I guess this selfie craze reveals much about us at this time. Of course, it’s partly because it’s new technology. But, do you know anyone who seems overboard with pictures of themselves, by themselves?

Have you ever been around someone who talks on and on about themselves and the people and events that affect them? You try to interject–even just words of understanding or acknowledgement–and then realize that they aren’t listening to you. They are wrapped up in themselves.

Have you ever been in a group when two or more talk about themselves and their lives–at the same time? And they don’t seem to notice that no one is listening?

None of us lives to ourselves alone. — Paul, Romans 14:7

The ancient Greeks were excellent observers of personality types. The myth of Narcissus lent the name to a current personality disorder–Narcissism. Popularly, the term broadens to those who perhaps don’t qualify for diagnosis but are still annoying.

Paul, no stranger to those Greek myths himself, knew that there is a danger lurking in the depths of our hearts when we focus too much on ourselves.

He was teaching us at that point in Romans after he had built up the argument to the introduction of grace and then answered the question, “So, what?” His teaching was that now that we are living in grace, we don’t live for ourselves. We live for God. We also live for others–look at his words of having empathy for others in the same chapter.

Paul never stopped with the self-centered thought–It’s all about me and my salvation. That was only the beginning. Life is what happens next. And that is about how you love and serve others.

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Marketplace Ministry

June 13, 2016

The church exists to equip Jesus-followers for ministry; it does not exist primarily to do ministry.

My friend Chuck called the other day from a conference where he heard a speaker discuss this idea. The speaker is now successful in the marketplace. He formerly worked on the staff of a megachurch.

Chuck said, “I was thinking of you and your status right now.”

A couple of years ago I felt I was open for a new ministry. A door opened and I took a position with my church. If you’ve read this blog for long you know that I am an analyst by nature (TP in Myers-Briggs speak) and also a management coach. I could dive into a deep analysis, but I’ll spare you…and me. It just didn’t work out.

He was telling me that I should use my teaching and writing skills out here in the real world. Not to worry about inside the four walls of an organization.

I’ve recently been turned on to John Fischer’s The Catch (fisher, catch, get it??). The link goes to the blog page Definitions of a Marketplace Christian.

John is a worship leader/song writer. Part of the “original” Jesus movement of the late 60s/early 70s. He talks of “grace turned outward” and “marketplace Christian”two phrases that resonate.

Churches as organizations can be frustrating. There’s local politics, denominational politics (and remember, my masters work was in political science and philosophy), and I like neither. As Dallas Willard has said, churches are the one place where hurting people should be able to come and find healing, yet they usually find judgement and ostracism.

Yet, I kept trying. I’ve been Baptist Chair of the Board of Deacons, chair of Trustees, leadership committee, missions head, probably other stuff. I’m neither bragging nor asking for solace.

Chuck says, just keep writing. Maybe someday I’ll get good at it.

But I don’t write this for my therapy. What is it that you can do outside the church to bring Jesus’ message and love to hurting people? That’s all he asked us to do, right?

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Measure Then Act For Productivity

June 10, 2016

What you can measure, you can control. –Process control axiom

What if you have a health problem. Serious risk is involved. You are given something to check daily. The number reports your status. You now know if you are on track or deviating.

Let’s take another example–from process control. Say you want to control a boiler in a chemical plant. That’s pretty complex. Maybe we’ll consider your air conditioning system in your house (it’s projected to be in the 90s F in Ohio the next few days, air conditioning is on our minds). It’s the same basic principle, just the mathematics are different.

You have a Setpoint–the temperature that you want inside your house. There is a Process Variable–the actual temperature. Your thermostat holds the set point and compares it frequently to the actual temperature. When the temperature (PV) is greater than the setpoint (SP), then the control in the thermostat turns on the air conditioning unit.

So, what do we have here? We know our ideal. We measure what is real. And here is the crucial part–we act to get the real back to the ideal.

We have a target number. We measure the real number. We act to make the changes in the system to get the real back to the ideal number.

The key is that we have to pick an action that we can also measure that will get us back to the ideal. Let’s say we have a blood sugar problem. We measure daily. We say, oops, high again. But maybe we decide to act on something we can measure. Say carbs. We know carbs affect blood sugar, so therefore we need to control our intake of carbs.

So, we decide to count carbs. We have a small note pad and write every time we eat a carb-laden food. We review daily. We have a scoreboard (like at a basketball game). We want to win, so we make it a “game” to reduce that daily number. This is something we can act on. That’s better than just the sugar number that tells us we did something bad yesterday.

Apply to personal life; apply to business and volunteer work.

A man was appointed CEO of a huge manufacturing company. The financial results were dismal. He laid out his plan of improvement to the board. We are going to become the safest place to work, he said. They said (in effect), Huh? Where is the financial target? What about financial acts like cutting jobs?

So  Paul O’Neil set about transforming the culture at Alcoa.

  • Goals and training were sent out
  • Managers were empowered to report all serious incidents without recrimination immediately
  • People in manufacturing or elsewhere were empowered to not only take measures to be safe but also make suggestions and report potential problems.

Those of us in production and manufacturing know a safe plant becomes a productive plant. Not to mention the ethics of providing jobs where it is likely the worker will return home to the family every night in one piece.

He found something he could easily define and measure and act on. The company culture changed and financial results showed improvement.

It’s easy to sit, do nothing, and complain. Real improvement in our lives and our work come from observing, measuring, and acting.

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Out Of The Abundance of the Heart

June 9, 2016

“For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” — Jesus

We project to the outside world how we wish to be seen. We often wear masks. The mask was a widely used metaphor in the ancient Mediterranean world drawing from the method of Greek theater. Actors wore masks to switch characters.

Then sometimes the mask slips. What is really in our hearts slips out. Sometimes it’s an action. Sometimes it’s words. How often have neighbors and friends of serial killers said that he seemed like a nice quiet guy!

Local news reports from that court case in California about the young man who sexually assaulted the woman continue to flow with new discoveries. It seems the family mounted quite a campaign designed to mitigate any harsh sentencing (despite conviction on three felony counts).

A school guidance counselor, municipal court judge, business executive–all wrote letters saying he wasn’t a bad person and shouldn’t be sentenced. They probably thought that they could write on a public matter in secret. But words become public. And words betray the condition of your heart.

I have always loved John Ortberg’s description of Jesus as the first cardiologist. He was always interested in the state of your heart.

“Either make the tree good, and its fruit good; or make the tree bad, and its fruit bad; for the tree is known by its fruit.” –Jesus

Why should we develop spiritual practices as habits? Reading from the Bible daily? Meditation?

These “disciplines” actually help us keep our hearts in tune with the light. They change our physiology.

Lest some day we act in an unwise manner and find our photo on page 1 of the newspaper “above the fold.” Then the world sees our fruit and knows the state of our hearts.

Or we say hurtful things or stir up bad feelings in others. And it becomes public. And everyone can see where our hearts are focused.

What does your Facebook, Instagram, or Pinterest stream say about you? Have you been uplifting of others? Or negative, nasty, and cynical. If the latter, it’s time to check in with the Cardiologist.

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How Long Does It Take To Sin

June 8, 2016

It’s only 20 minutes of his life. It shouldn’t take away from 20 years. (Sports Dad)

There are no moral giants in the story. Must be a story about real life. Privileged athlete takes advantage of girl. Has sex. Walks away.

His point of view–so what? It’s just sex.

Her point of view–I’ve been physically and emotionally violated.

The philosopher Ken Wilber once wrote, “Civilization is a race to overcome testosterone.” There is much to think about there.

Look at King David. A warrior-king. Doesn’t get any more “manly” than that. He saw a woman. An attractive woman. The hormones spoke, David listened. How long did it take out of his life to commit a sin that kept on giving? 20 minutes?

20 minutes with a woman led to murder of her husband and many of his own soldiers.

Some people have somehow gotten the idea that women are objects and think it is Biblical. Don’t know how they got that. The Old Testament records a time of warriors. The stories prize strong men who could fight against enemies. Yet, look at the stories of strong women, full of faith, who also led.

Paul, whom many cite as the philosopher of subjugating women, is often misread. As Andy Stanley put it in the recorded Your Move talk from last weekend said, “They didn’t read the verse before it” regarding the verse about wives being submissive to their husbands.

Quick test–who knows the verse before?

This is a story about men who think that women are only objects, not real people. Who think they only exist for their pleasure. It’s a story fed by pictures, TV, movies.

That’s not the story of people living under grace. Who value every human being as a person God created and loves. Every woman who is someone’s daughter.

That’s not 20 minutes of “slipping up” that would have been ignored if not brought to light. It’s 20 minutes that proves character.

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Stop My Mind From Wandering

June 7, 2016

I’m fixing a hole where the rain gets in
And stops my mind from wandering. Where it will go.– The Beatles

Listening to The Beatles for a while on the drive back from vacation Sunday. I’m not sure what they meant (John and Paul may not have known either). The words seemed to fit my vacation reading that focused on, well, focus.

Sometimes we have a hole in our consciousness that lets our mind wander where it will go.

Ever sit down to read the Bible or a study book on a Biblical theme, or again sit down to pray or contemplate on the words? And your mind wanders to things you need to do, conversations left undone, worries about what might happen tomorrow?

Or, worse, your smart phone attracts your eye. “I’ll just check Facebook or Instagram quickly and see if I’m missing any important news from my ‘friends’,” you think. Oops, there went a good 20 minutes and it’s time to go somewhere and opportunity to think missed.

I’m helping with the marketing for small coffee shop with a mission. You can “like” High Grounds Cafe on Facebook. I post messages regularly on the Facebook page (it is a great marketing media for local business). But…I’ll go to Facebook to post a message and my news feed pops up. Side note: they call it news, but there is no news–some updates on what people are doing and a stream of thoughtless political shots at someone. Anyway, a photo catches my eye. 15 minutes gone, poof, wasted.

Deep thinking and concentration are skills that must be developed and practiced.

Usually you need a ritual. For example, get up in the morning (early), fix a cup of coffee or tea, gather your reading material with a pen and paper, and sit in your favorite chair in a quiet location. Do it regularly.

Be aware of your mind. When it starts to wander, don’t panic. Just fix the hole gently and return to concentration. You will find that you can spend 15-30 minutes totally immersed in your reading and prayer.

If your job, like mine, requires thinking and writing, you can build up to 90 minute stretches of time, short break, and another 90 minutes of real work.

Fix that hole in the roof that allows your mind to wander. See how richer your life will be.

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