Archive for the ‘Disciplines’ Category

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Gluttony

June 6, 2016

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God. — 1 Corinthians 10:31

Picture a large seafood buffet restaurant. He had a plate already full of a variety of fish and shrimp. He added crab legs. And he added crab legs. And he piled on still more crab legs. When he walked away there were six piled atop his plate.

I had plenty to eat–2 cups of clam chowder, a dozen peel-n-eat shrimp, a set of crab legs, corn on the cob (well the small pieces of cherry cobbler and apple cobbler were over the top)–and felt like I had barely snacked compared to what I saw going on around the serving lines.

The image of the “Seven Deadly Sins” came to mind as I sat there. One of them being gluttony.

The list came from Pope Gregory I around 600 CE.

7 Deadly Sins List:

  1. Envy = the desire to have an item or experience that someone else possesses
  2. Gluttony = excessive ongoing consumption of food or drink
  3. Greed or Avarice = an excessive pursuit of material possessions
  4. Lust = an uncontrollable passion or longing, especially for sexual desires
  5. Pride = excessive view of one’s self without regard to others.
  6. Sloth = excessive laziness or the failure to act and utilize one’s talents
  7. Wrath = uncontrollable feelings of anger and hate towards another person

Yes, one night out at a buffet does not a glutton make. But it is worth considering how much of our attention is devoted to overeating. It certainly shows up around our waistlines!

The list (not found this way in the Bible, by the way, but compiled from many Biblical sources) brings to awareness the many ways that we let focus on ourselves take away our focus on God.

As we  focus, so we live. We need that daily time of reflection to bring God into our awareness so that we focus on what is right and good.

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Take Care of Yourself

June 3, 2016

“I translate theology into English.”

Somewhere in a conversation, that thought occurred to me. I do that with technology, too.

Sometimes, though, we need to go beyond theology. We read about the great thinkers of the faith. Or the great leaders. We sometimes stop with what they wrote, or with saints, with the weird things they did.

I get annoyed. We don’t teach leaders how to take care of themselves. We don’t teach Jesus followers how to take care of themselves, either. Many of the leaders left traces of their lifestyles that would teach as much as their words.

Caregivers know, or soon learn, that they must take care of themselves and keep themselves healthy and balanced if they are going to be able to help others. “Put your oxygen mask on first before helping others,” the flight attendant intones at the beginning of every flight.

Part of the message of Keven L. Meyer’s book, The Simple Leader, advises us to use the principles of Lean and Zen to take care of ourselves, too.

  • Simplify our environment–get rid of clutter around us and organize what’s left
  • Simplify our minds–get rid of the clutter there, too; learn to be aware of the present–where we are, people and things around us, sights/sounds, conversations, focus on what you’re doing
  • Simplify our nutrition–use Lean principles of reducing waste by eating healthy foods, not preparing or trying to eat too much–that is waste and we remove waste
  • Focus–on where you are right this moment
  • Focus–on one task at a time
  • Focus–on the other person in a conversation
  • Awareness–of what we eat, eating slowly with awareness of flavor and texture, eating foods that are good to our bodies and minds
  • Awareness–of the other person, what are they thinking and feeling (not my response)
  • Awareness–of our purpose and the type of person we want to be, and where we are right now relative to those

All of these impact the type of leader we will be–and the type of person we’ll become. Go and take care of yourself, too.

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Everything In Its Place

June 2, 2016

You just had an important thought. Go to the desk for a pen and paper. Can’t find either.

You’re gathering ingredients for a recipe as dinner time approaches. Can’t find a spice you’re sure you had. And where’s that favorite knife?

Getting ready to study. The desk is cluttered. Can’t find the Bible. Favorite pen is not in its place. Oh, where’s my journal?

5S

I talked yesterday about my vacation reading–The Simple Leader: Personal and Professional Leadership at the Nexus of Lean and Zen.

Let’s look at a Lean concept called 5S. It stands for five English words roughly translated from the Japanese: Sort, Straighten, Shine, Standardize, Sustain.

Meyer defines each one:

  • Sort: Review each item, ensure it has a purpose, remove what isn’t needed.
  • Straighten: Find a defined location for what remains, preferably as close to where it will be needed as possible.
  • Shine: Clean and polish the newly uncluttered area.
  • Standardize: Create a checklist or other method to ensure the area doesn’t revert back to how it was.
  • Sustain: Create a habit, routine, or daily activity to keep the area clean and neat, and to audit that it has stayed that way.

You’ll notice that this is also a method of simplifying your life. Get rid of stuff cluttering your living and working space. Organize. Your mind will thank you. It can settle in on a task with few if any distractions.

As you sit to study, pray, meditate, or even converse, you remain calm and focused reflecting the environment you’ve created.

Spiritual formation requires intention. Organizing workspaces and our lives intentionally is a step on the path.

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Respect For People

June 1, 2016

If there is a foundation principle for this blog, it could be respect for people. Even if you are dealing with difficult people or people who have failed at something, the principle means that you deal with them openly yet respectfully.

I’m on a bit of a vacation, which means I brought along books to read. I am just finishing The Simple Leader: Personal and Professional Leadership at the Nexus of Lean and Zen, by Kevin L. Meyer. Don’t get worried by the terms Lean and Zen. Lean is a way of life in manufacturing, but it can also be applied to personal life. There is a non-religious component of Zen, which, if you knew that, you’d realize you see some if it in my writing. I studied it many years ago.

There are two foundation principles to Lean: reduce waste and respect for people (or could be translated humanity). There’s not room to include the Zen part today, but the essential parts are mindfulness and simplicity.

While meditating this morning, two thoughts dominated my awareness. The first is that so much of what I write is based on a foundation (and a wish that I would perfectly embody it) of respecting others. That is how I can have friends from so many cultures and religions.

I see no conflict to being a follower of Jesus yet respecting someone who follows Muhammad, the Buddha, or Krishna, or whatever. There are human complexities that I just don’t understand. Who am I to judge?

The other thought is how I am so disappointed when I see people showing so little respect to much anyone. Skimming through my Facebook “news” stream shows plenty of that. Even worse is skimming newspapers or watching TV news.

One of the organizations developed by people that often shows the opposite side of respect unfortunately are our Christian churches. Begun by our early leaders to bring people together for instruction and worship, so many degenerate into an “us vs. them” mindset that I literally grieve. They have ruined so many lives–or rather people within them who fail to show respect have ruined so many lives.

Business, churches, personal life–all thrive with the foundation of respect for people.

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Banish Divisive People

May 31, 2016

When Dave and Jane and I gathered in a conference room in 2003 to start a new magazine, discussion was, well, boisterous. Loud. Argumentative. Collegial.

We came out after about a month with an editorial focus, a description of readers, a description of companies who would advertise (and why), an editorial calendar, a business plan, a media kit (all the products we could sell to advertisers).

The most dangerous next step was hiring. Bringing in people who had agendas, histories, insecurities could be disaster. We had a core team of 6-7 who stayed together eight years. We built a winning magazine and a good business. Then some new people came along and all the chemistry changed.

We were lucky in many respects. We had a couple of strong personalities who could be divisive in another situation, but they were managed.

Have you ever been in an organization with someone who is just plain divisive? They have an agenda. They are always engaged in hallway conversations trying to build alliances against someone in authority.

Churches are full of this personality type. Businesses, too. I’ve seen it. It’s ugly. I’ve even been the target. Never saw that one coming.

Henry Cloud devotes many pages to the problem in The Power of the Other. He looks at the master organization builder, Paul the Apostle.

Paul says when you see one of those divisive people, recognize it, give them a warning, and, if they don’t change their ways, banish them

Cloud says he’s seen it in organizations. The CEO recognizes the situation and terminates the culprit. Overnight the atmosphere changes. People who had been enemies become friendly. “Gosh, you’re a pretty good guy. I don’t know why I didn’t like you.”

The answer to that is the recently departed divider.

Recognize the signs of a divisive person. Find them, and deal with them. The sooner the better. Rip that cancer out of the organization. Everyone will feel–and perform–better.

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Remembering And Running

May 30, 2016

Today is a holiday in the US named Memorial Day. No, I don’t think it was devised to celebrate the running of the Indianapolis 500 automobile race. For the past 29 years for me it meant being out at a park somewhere around Dayton, Ohio at the country’s largest 3-day soccer tournament.

I think “Memorial” springs from “remember”, as in remembering those who went before us. In many cases they paved a trail that led us to where we are.

My great-grandmother called it “Decoration” Day, and her tradition was to decorate the graves of family.

As a kid, I participated in the Midwest America tradition of a formal ceremony to place flowers on the graves of local military veterans.

There are people today who use it as an “in-your-face” political statement. But then, some people use every excuse to get in your face.

How great a cloud of witnesses…

Let us consider the thought from the letter to the Hebrews. “We are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses…” The writer describes many leaders of the faith who have gone before. Then he continues, “so let us run the race that is set before us.”

We don’t remember just to sit in sentimental reverie. We remember what those before us have done as a guide and motivator for what we are to do with our time on earth.

Remember and run.

I imagine that every society has some version of Memorial Day. That’s good.

Remember, looking for inspiration so that we can run the race set before us and leave a legacy for the future.

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When You Stop Trying So Hard

May 27, 2016

“Stop trying, relax, and just slip into the pose.”

There are Yoga poses that just don’t work well when you try to force your way into them. Then you just relax, especially your abs, and just ease into the pose.

Try this. No, really, try it. Stand up. Keeping your back as straight as possible, bend over and touch your toes (or shins, or knees, or thighs…).

Now back at the standing position, relax your mid-section. Consciously. Maybe think about bringing your belly button back to your spine. Now try it. Don’t force it. Just bend.

(Honestly, all this came to me last night when I was talking the class into one of those forward bend poses that seem to stretch everything.)

I’ve been spending a lot of time with Matthew 5, 6, 7. This includes the Sermon on the Mount. Remember how Jesus concludes? “Be perfect just as your Father is perfect.”

Now, think about the group of people Jesus continually sparred with–the Pharisees. How did they try to be “perfect just as your Father is perfect”? They tried…hard. They built rules on top of rules to explain how to live in every situation in every minute of every day. It was a full-time job just working hard to be perfect.

Then Jesus comes along. He reinterprets all the laws making them impossible to achieve. Then he says, be perfect. Hold on there, partner. Perfect? Impossible!

Yes, that’s the point. You don’t get to a relationship with God by your hard work at being perfect. Stop trying so hard. Relax. Then turn your attention to God and let God do the work.

Like Yogi Berra supposedly said, “You can hear a lot just by listening.” Just by slowing down and ceasing the impossible task of trying to be perfect, we open a space for God to actually come in. And, since our focus is off ourselves, now we can hear God. And respond.

And we’ll be perfect enough.

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Know That You Need To Ask For Help

May 25, 2016

The Lord helps those who help themselves.

That is not in the Bible. Sorry. Grace is not dependent upon our works. It is dependent upon our attitude–the attitude of turning to God and asking for help.

Henry Cloud’s new book, The Power of the Other, is all about the power relationships–good, bad, indifferent–hold over our lives.

He was talking about his work as a consultant and coach. He has sufficient track record and fame, that boards of directors of companies, even large companies, send their failing CEOs to him to turn them around.

A man came to him one time who had failed terribly. It was a personal failure, but the results bled over into every aspect of his life–marriage, family, business, volunteering. Being a highly successful and driven person, he came with a list. He asked for help, but then he laid out the plan that he had devised to correct the situation.

Cloud said it was sad. Every point depended upon the man’s action. There was no place for relationship with another.

Cloud said that he’s reached the point of life that he really doesn’t want to waste time with people who are sent to him to be fixed but who think that it all depends on themselves.

I understand. In my consulting and coaching career, I have met several people who only wish for outside reinforcement. They don’t understand why nothing changes.

At some point, you must come to the realization that it’s not all dependent upon your own effort.

Ask someone for help–and then listen.

Ask someone close to you how they feel about the situation–and then listen.

Humble yourself (that means be willing to not be the person in charge) and realize that others will help if you ask.

Thank people for helping.

Remember God gives us grace. It’s there for the asking. Be open to receiving it.

You ultimately are not in charge; stop acting as if you are.

The Lord helps you, and so will others, if you ask and are willing to listen and absorb.

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Where Do They Find Those People

May 24, 2016

Where do they find those women?

This was yet another conversation about some guy, married, dissatisfied, “sleeping” with many other women.

I had to ask, where do they find those women? (Aside: we seem to always write about the guy, what’s the story about the women? I don’t know.)

She answered, “Bars.”

I guess that’s why I’ve never met one of those women so far as I know. I don’t hang out in those places. Even last night, alone, on Bourbon Street, in New Orleans.

I am in the middle of reading Henry Cloud’s latest book, The Power of the Other, about the power of relationships in your life.

It starts with a feeling of lacking. And you need something to make you feel better. Sex, drugs, alcohol–at first they fill that lack.

One little decision.

Then there is the spiral. Almost literally down the drain. Your life. Your career. Your family. Your relationships. Your money. The spiral of the first lie. Then it builds to continual deceit. Then a second life that is unsustainable.

Cloud described a very successful heart surgeon who found himself spiraling down. Until he hit the moment of truth when the second life was exposed to light.

That surgeon was only able to turn things around when he was led to realize that he had to surrender trying to control everything and honestly seek out help from other people.

The apostle John loved to put situations in the context of light and dark. Bad things relationally happen in the dark, in the late night. Exposing things to light helps correct the situation.

Our disciplines of study and prayer help. So does a healthy relationship with someone who can listen and then give us  strong words when it’s necessary. Sometimes people who say the hardest things are our friends who are trying to help us. That’s when we need to humble ourselves in the sense that we need to listen to what our friends are saying. And change.

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The Value In Quitting

May 23, 2016

I have quit one of my church jobs. I just looked at the results over the past two years versus the amount of work I’ve put in and the result was easy. Time to close one door and open another.

I took the job two years ago partly because I had quit another position where I was rapidly loosing my health. Looking back, it was a good move. The changes they wanted me to make and that I resisted have happened now. And the company is no longer a thought leader. Still makes money, but to me that’s not the entire value proposition.

Many people have told me that churches in general seem to be drawing their attention inward. Giving to mission support by the church is dwindling. Some I know are still supporting global missions. But most are not.

Every time a door closes,  at least one other one opens. We’ll see what happens. Perhaps someone needs a good teaching pastor.

What is your experience in quitting?

I hate to do it. It’s like giving up. Saying I’m a failure. Leaving someone behind.

But I take heart in Henry Cloud (Necessary Endings). Sometimes it’s the best alternative.

Maybe like Jesus telling his disciples when he sent them out by twos. If they don’t hear your message, then leave the town and shake the dust off you cloak and sandals.

Shake, shake, shake.

I’m off to the next village. We’ll see what doors open.

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