Archive for the ‘Attitude’ Category

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You Can Choose Your Attitude

July 31, 2014

Are there people who annoy you, but it is impossible to disassociate yourself from them?

Did life just hand you a setback?

Do you feel that other people get all the luck?

Humans have know for thousands of years that what you have power over is the power to choose your attitude in these and all other incidents.

Often people reflect back to you the attitude you show. If your attitude is always negative, you’ll attract negative people. You can all sit around and complain to each other. That’s because people with a positive attitude are out creating their “luck” and avoiding you.

I’ve discovered that you cannot force other people to change. You can only change your attitude toward them. If someone you must see regularly is self-centered for example, then you won’t be able to get them to change to becoming more others centered. At least not quickly. But you can change your attitude toward them so as not to reflect back their negative attitude. You can reflect back to them the humble (other-centered) life attitude that Jesus taught than revolutionized the world.

Your attitude will see you through tough times and you’ll be an inspiration to others. Your attitude will keep you studying and praying through whatever happens.

Your attitude will bring you success–maybe not riches, but success in life which is more important.

Maybe you need a reminder taped to your bathroom wall, or the wall paper on your computer, or a “reminder” notification that pops up on your iPhone at various times to check your attitude and make sure it is the right one.

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It’s All About Me

July 9, 2014

The sign on the message wall in the hallway of the Child Care area of the Y said, “It’s All About Me.”

Now, they may have meant, “I’m telling a biography about me.” But I took it differently–that life is “all about me.”

Many people pass through my life whose theme song is “It’s All About Me.” They seem to have no thoughts about others except for how others can fulfill their own needs and desires.

I have referred before to the book, “The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in an Age of Entitlement” before. It raises many questions about us and how we’ve raised our children.

Meeting a person whose life orientation is to serve others is a blessing. Meeting someone who is always ready to learn from others is a joy.

We read in Proverbs (26:12)

“Do you see persons wise in their own eyes?
There is more hope for fools than for them.”

Solomon is never afraid to tell it like it is in his writing.

People who live a life in service to others no matter what their position are cherished. People who are in it for themselves often fall–hard.

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Don’t Be Anxious

June 17, 2014

Twice the other day the subject of anxiety was raised. This is something with which I have some experience. My mom passed the ability to worry to my siblings and me. She worried about everything. She would worry if there was nothing to worry about because something might happen to cause worry.

Both times the question arose while discussing Yoga. The practice of Yoga is supposed to help one cope with or even overcome anxiety. And indeed, it does.

Dealing with anxiety begins with the awareness of being anxious. During Yoga practice, students are encouraged to continually use their minds to scan their bodies and emotions looking for things that are not right. Are you holding stress somewhere? I ask during almost every pose.

The technique that has worked best for me is to consciously divert my mind to something pleasurable. Focus on that and eventually the negative feeling fades away. Do this often enough and you begin to stop getting the feelings in the first place.

Another thing is something I brought up the other day that Jon Swanson pointed out. Concentrate on other people Don’t dwell on yourself, your feelings, your wishes, your desires. Focus on others. What do people close to you need? How can you help? Pray for other people.

Anxiety is still something I occasionally deal with. But far, far less than 30 years ago. And I know how to divert myself in time. Now, I have other problems 😉

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When You’ve Lost That Zen State of Being

June 13, 2014

Thirty-five years of meditation changes your personality and state-of-consciousness. You can become more relaxed. Open to the flow of life. To the reality of other people–more of observer less of judge.

But what do you do in the times that you’ve lost that “Zen feeling.” (Sorry Righteous Brothers.)

Sometimes stresses get to you. Sometimes worries get to you. Sometimes other people get to you.

Reflecting back on myself over the years, I can identify times where I’ve lost that state of being.

Here are some examples from the recent and not-so-recent past.

  • I took some “herbal” weight loss tonic (OK, I’ve already been yelled at for that–when you’re 5’10” and 175 lbs, you’re hardly overweight) several months ago that brought on anxieties.
  • I’ve struggled with quite a number of people to get some things accomplished. That’s not within my normal personality.
  • Then, do you ever notice the impact of food on your body and emotions? Yesterday’s lunch left me lethargic all afternoon. I didn’t regain full energy until evening. No more Bob Evans Pot Roast Sandwich Platter for lunch for me 😉

This morning I read Jon Swanson’s 300 Words a Day post and he nailed it. It’s when you stop thinking at least 90% of the time about others.

I mean, when we read that Jesus says,

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.

we do it.

Yes, if we go back to the basics of the faith, that helps. Focus outwardly–God, ideas, others. We must be reminded of this constantly lest we slip into old, bad habits.

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How They’ll Know Us

May 30, 2014

How do the people outside the church know who the people inside the church are? Can they tell that there is a difference? When the church gathers, is it much like a Rotary meeting?

I’ve been reading in John’s Gospel for some time recently. There is a part toward the end where Jesus is instructing his followers on life after he’s gone. And he looks around at his ill-assorted group of followers, and he tells them, “This is how they’ll know you, by how you love one another.”

The church as described in Acts 2–long before it got so over-organized–grew rapidly because the people lived differently than people in the area. And that difference was good. And that difference is contagious.

And that difference has all-to-often gone away.

On bad days, one wonders if the whole life-style of love among Jesus-followers has evaporated completely.

The practice of Spiritual Disciplines is not an end in itself. The practice should lead us toward an attitude of love towards others. Love in such a way that others are attracted to this man called Jesus. Love such that others want to join together to celebrate and worship and participate in acts of service.

We can read the history of the church and see the immense divisiveness leading to bloodshed during the past 2,000 years. But we can also see those acts of love that kept the fire burning.

If we sense divisiveness in our groups, it’s time to practice loving others. They will know us by our love.

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Who Brings You Energy

May 28, 2014

When you enter a room, what do you bring with you?

Yesterday I was meditating on how to restore energy when you relate to people who seem to suck energy out of you.

On the other hand, who brings energy to you? God also brings those people into your life. I know many.

What can we learn by studying that type of person? How can we grow? After all, energy, like love, grows as it spreads.

Some are people with passionate interests. Even if I don’t share the same interest, I’m affected by their energy, enthusiasm, and passion. But it’s even better if they share a personal vision that I can participate in–maybe a passion for serving children and women in far off places. Or a passion for feeding the homeless here in Sidney.

Some ask questions. They seem genuinely interested in you by asking about how you’re feeling and what you’re doing.

Some love discussing ideas. A deep discussion always results from meeting these people–even if it’s only for a few minutes, something insightful occurs.

They are positive people. Unless discussing a problem to be solved, they have stories about triumphs, growth, passions of others.

It usually starts with a smile.

Do we bring any of that into a room with us?

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Finding Energy Amidst Dysfunction

May 27, 2014

For reasons I fail to fathom, God has placed a number of dysfunctional people into my life over the past few years. I’m not sure what’s going on there. One thing is true–relating with dysfunctional people drain my energy.

The essence of our being is energy. We need to keep our energy up to function effectively.

What to do when our energy sags? For sure, our practice of Spiritual Disciplines is deeply affected by our energy level.

The first thing is to be aware of our energy level. Do you feel the ebb and flow of your energy level?

Notice what you eat. When I eat a heavy meal in the evening, my evening studies or work are shot. Too much fat in the morning breakfast can bog you down for the entire day. There is a saying in German that is a play on words that translates to English, “Man is what he eats.”

When you notice energy lagging during the day, get up. Take a short walk. Get outside. The best way to work if you do thought work is to work in 25-45 minute bursts of concentration followed by a short break.

Meditation is a good energy booster. Sit back, close your eyes, focus on breathing. It’s a great way to refocus.

Many famous people have sworn by afternoon naps. A few years ago the concept of “power napping” became popular.

Keeping the body fit and healthy is a foundation for generating energy.

Thinking about things we are grateful about refocuses our mind and generates energy.

Then watch our attitudes. As we think, so we become. Where are our thoughts? Change our thoughts and attitudes, change our energy level.

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Just Stubborn or Unwilling to Grow

May 22, 2014

A trait in successful leaders is the willingness to continue growing as a person. It’s something we should all work at our entire lives.

I think about all the people who came to Jesus for advice and went away sad because they could not do what he advised. Just think, the person best fitted to help people grow, the person filled with the Spirit of God, gave personal advice and often the other would walk away sad.

I’ve come across people–leaders–who seem to have no capacity for growth. Some don’t even seem to acknowledge that there is even any room in them for more growth.

Just had dinner with a man from Scotland. He said he was from up north, not the south like Robert Burns. His comment reminded me of the famous line in a poem, which I will not give in the vernacular, that went Oh what a gift he gives us, to see ourselves as others see us.

Do you ever, like me, walk away from a situation thinking, God, what a jerk I was? I’ll reflect and swear I’ll change. Which I don’t enough. I’m just a work in progress.

So, I wonder. Are some people just stubborn? They refuse to listen to others or acknowledge the need to change? Or, when the Clue Train stopped, did they just fail to accept a delivery?

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Value of a Smile

May 15, 2014

When you walk into a room, what do you bring with you? Cheer, or gloom?

I recently met a woman. I know when I see her again that I will recognize her. Yet, I cannot really picture her in my mind. What I remember is her smile. It is so friendly.

Last night at dinner, I noticed that when I dealt with my server or the hostess with a smile, it seemed contagious. My server was OK, but she seemed to become nicer and smiled, too.

Maybe these are contagious. Maybe like they say about love, the more you give away the more you receive.

Then there are the people who seem to spread gloom or discord wherever they go. They talk about other people’s problems and faults. They scowl. (Ever look at an older person’s face and see how it is set–either in a permanent frown or smile?) The just seem to deflate the atmosphere.

There is a line in a detective novel I’ll never forget. Someone is describing a man and says, “He smiles, but his eyes don’t seem to match the smile.”

The smile must be part of your person, or people will feel the masquerade.

On the other hand, maybe you don’t feel on top of the world. Things are weighing you down. Yet, when you meet someone, if you can smile a greeting not only do they feel better, but so will you.

I don’t think Richard Foster listed smiling as a Spiritual Discipline. I think it fits.

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Doing What God Calls You To Do

April 28, 2014

The city was known for its violence and cruelty. Its treatment of outsiders was known and feared.

It had gotten so bad that God decided to act. It was either that the city, meaning the attitudes and orientation of all the people in the city, change its ways or it would be destroyed.

God called a man to take this message to the city. He went to the city and preached what we would call repentance. That means he called the people to change the attitude of their hearts from one of cruelty and violence to one oriented toward walking with God. This attitude would be reflected in the way that they lived, such that instead of a reputation for cruelty, they would gain a reputation as God-followers.

The man went, he preached, they changed. Great story.

Except.

The man did not want to do that. The city was his people’s archenemy. He wanted it destroyed and all the people who lived there.

So he did what anyone would do in that situation. He fled. He ran away from God. But God cannot be escaped. He caught the man and pretty much forced him to go to the city and preach. And the man was successful. The city and all the inhabitants repented and changed their ways. God did not destroy the city. The man sat outside and pouted. He wanted destruction. God wanted a right life.

The man’s name was Jonah. God caught him with a fish who grabbed him and took him back to the land. The story isn’t about the fish. The story is about repentance. About how God wanted everyone (not just the Hebrews) to repent and follow Him. It’s also a story about call.

Do you feel a call. It weighed on my soul for a long time that I should have a ministry. Didn’t know what it would be. I thought I knew. But then came a call. Actually, I was called for the same ministry many years ago. Said I couldn’t do it. God waited. He struck. I’m stuck.

How about you? What is weighing on your heart? Or maybe it’s a clear voice that you’re trying to ignore. Don’t ignore. In the end, God wins.

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