Archive for the ‘Attitude’ Category

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Giving and Receiving Appropriate Feedback

December 19, 2013

I can’t believe I had gone so many days without writing. Yesterday I tried out a new iPad app for WordPress. It published before I added categories and tags. Today, I’ll play around with it a little, but I’m far behind in my other two blogs–not to mention a feature article about using Ethernet networking in manufacturing and a column on automation standards.

These days much of my leadership seems to be behind the scenes guiding others into thinking through things so that they arrive at sound decisions and move their projects forward. In the midst of that, I forgot that others are constantly evaluating me.

Someone in a position of some authority offered some feedback that just seemed a little lame to me. So, I pondered the feedback and what sort of feedback is useful. Part of the feedback was that “I hear great things about you, encourage more people to tell me how good you’re doing.” Was that useful feedback? What sort of sample size was that? Was it just one or two off-hand comments?

Then it sounded like how we are trained to offer feedback to soccer referees after a match where we are assigned officially as an assessor–point out one or two strengths and one or two areas for improvement with guidance containing a strategy for improving that area.

The soccer feedback assumes that I as the assessor know what constitutes good officiating and that I have already proven myself so as to lend credibility to my feedback. In other words, if the feedback is given from a person whom I respect and given to help me improve my performance, that’s one thing; but if the feedback is superficial pointing out only superficial things that do not really guide me into a way to improve, then it just feels lame.

I spent the better part of ten years setting and developing the direction of a magazine and constantly asked people wherever I went for ideas on improvement. Starting from September, I’m doing that all over again. In this case, I didn’t start the magazine but rather have assumed leadership of one that is older but has been failing for several years. So, I want ideas on what I could do to improve the property. My ideas will be shown next month to the public. Then I start the feedback process again.

A few thoughts:
Solicit feedback from people affected or people with expertise
Offer feedback that is truly helpful
Consider the feedback, but neither be unduly uplifted by superficial praise nor discouraged with unthinking criticism
Take all feedback as a source of potential personal improvement

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Anticipation and Stress

December 10, 2013

Advent. Anticipation. Anxiety.

Were you ever about to do something, and then the thought hits “how did I ever get myself into this situation?”

Maybe it was when you were about to get into the car to attempt the world’s largest roller coaster? Or making a big speech in front of a large crowd? Or getting into your car in anticipation of a family Christmas gathering with weather coming in?

Often anticipation and anxiety go together. Maybe that is one reasons psychologists always talk about the weeks leading up to Christmas as one of the most stressful times of the year.

Maybe it’s not so much about celebrating Jesus’ coming into the world as much as all the family stuff, office parties, buying presents, sending cards, other gatherings, need to be cheerful, and so on. We certainly know how to stress ourselves at this time of year.

There are practices that humans have developed to counter these stresses. Mindfulness means paying attention to only the present moment–what’s around you, what your state is, your task at hand. Consciously regulating your breathing whether lying, seated or walking helps bring you into a conscious state of mind.

I don’t teach Yoga as a religion, but as a physical practice and for developing the state of mind of being in the present moment.

Another practice is one that Bill Hybels teaches at Willow Creek Community Church–15 minutes in your chair every morning reading the Bible and contemplating. Gets your day off to a more focused start.

Two more practices are complementary. One is to practice gratitude thanking God for all the things you are grateful for. The other is to practice forgiveness–forgiving others for perceived slights and recognizing your own need for forgiveness for the things you have done to others.

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What One Thing Would Make Your Life Better

December 5, 2013

What one thing that, if you gave it up, would make your life better?

I read that statement this morning and started thinking. This is a perfect season of the year to think about this. Those of us who attend any sort of Christian church are going to hear at least one message on simplifying our lives. On not letting pervasive advertising persuade us into thinking giving and getting more stuff is better. It may be better for the economy, but is it better for us individually?

There are now two open seats on the five-member school board in my small city. Bev wanted to know if she should keep the newspaper out for me to read about it when I get home. I told her no. I know as much as I need. I served eight years; I have no interest in going back. Besides, I’m in a season where I’ve become very busy already.

I gave up a job that paid well, but the atmosphere (to me at least) was toxic. For peace of mind as well as the chance to be creative again, I quit. Then I spent several months making money through writing while I invested money in starting a small business. No sooner had that kicked off (finally), when another opportunity came my way. Now I’m executive director (and future owner with my partner) of another business. Meanwhile, I asked an associate pastor whatever had happened to the mission trips that people went on and returned so on fire in the Spirit. No leadership, she said. So…another job. All because a man I know said, “Pray for God to bring people into your life.”

This was a lot to digest over the past 7 months. My thing is to say no to anything else.

I gave up one thing and gained a new life. This year has been a blessing. But I do need to look over everything I own and everything I do and simplify. We call it an iterative process. That means the process is never done. Once you simplify, then you look for new things to simplify. But also to say yes to the appropriate opportunities. Sometimes God’s call is too powerful to ignore.

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His Heart Is Bigger Than His Brain

December 4, 2013

“Forgive him. His heart is bigger than his brain.”

That was supposed to be a funny put-down of cousin Eddie by Clark Griswald in Christmas Vacation. It implies that he wasn’t the brightest bulb in the candleabra, so to speak.

The phrase sort of stuck in my brain, so I meditated on it for a while.

It occurred to me that this has practical implications. I am by nature an analytical person. I tend to think about things a lot. My university education reinforced that tendency. But as I got deeper into spiritual practices and I discovered that other people really do exist, my attitude toward the message in the Bible changed.

John Ortberg captured the idea with a sentence in a message he gave a few years ago–“You see, Jesus is most interested in the condition of your heart.”

Paul reinforced that a few times in his writing where he would tell his story about being an intellectual and then having a life-changing transformation.

Jesus and Paul were not anti-intellectual (the “brain” part). Indeed, they were both scholars. I think that there is nothing in the New Testament that does not emphasize the condition of your heart. Perhaps summed up succinctly by James who emphsized that if your heart is right, then your actions will be right. One follows the other as day follows night.

Exercising our brain is good. We need to study in order to have background and depth for faith.

Our hearts need to be bigger than our brains. It is not enough to study and gain knowledge. We need to have our hearts fixed on Jesus and let our actions flow from that. Indeed, our study will also flow from that posture.

We develop our brains through study and thinking. We develop our hearts through trusting Jesus as our guide and saviour, living a life of putting others ahead of ourselves, practicing prayer, meditation, service, worship, celebration.

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The Still Point

November 14, 2013

Someone once asked how I come up with these thoughts. Some are derived from reading or listening to teachers. Some from news or observations. And then I think about the idea and try to relate it to a deeper teaching.

Focus is the  hard part. Last week I traveled three days beginning with a 6 am flight which meant rising at 3:45 in order to shower, pack my laptop bag (aka briefcase in the old days) and drive to the airport. On that trip I arrived at the destination, met my colleagues, made some sales calls, had a business discussion over a long dinner, and then get to my room after 10 pm. Up early for meetings, driving around, another business dinner.

It’s about the same this week. Now, it’s four days in Houston rather than three in Philadelphia.

I’m not looking for sympathy. I chose to do these trips. When I’m home, I have a normal routine which includes 15-30 minutes of quiet time to read and contemplate. Sometimes on business trips, I don’t carve out the time. It is a failure of focus.

This morning I decided to carve out some quiet time. When I do that, my body slows down, my thinking slows down, and I can focus on a topic. It’s all about focus and attention.

T.S. Eliot, a quite misunderstood poet, wrote in Burnt Norton (one of the Four Quartets) about the still point–at the still point of the turning earth, there is the dance, and there is only the dance. Eliot was a contemplative and understood the value of slowing down, focusing, achieving that still point.

Today, I switched my focus to, well, focus itself. I became close to the still point. The day will go much better because of that.

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Curiosity Is a Good Thing

October 28, 2013

We took our young grandchildren to the zoo Saturday and then on a walk along a river on Sunday. Such unbridled joy at learning something new, explaining what they already knew and curiosity about everything. Wooly worm caterpillars, crickets, grasshoppers, snakes. And that was just the walk.

People were curious about Jesus. Who was this guy who healed people and confronted the establishment? But many were merely curious without the learning part. Many combined curiosity about how to live in God’s Kingdom–enough so that they started a movement. We are the beneficiaries of that movement today.

I think about the people to whom Paul wrote his letters. Many were curious about the contents of his strange message. Some became teachers and leaders. But they remained curious. They accumulated many questions to bring to him for guidance and instruction.

There was Timothy, to whom Paul wrote at least two letters. Epaphras of Colossae who probably instigated the letter to the Colossians. They were curious people who let their curiosity lead them into learning and eventually understanding and then leadership.

Do you take a walk and just walk? Read and then forget? Watch TV endlessly?

What joy to discover the wonders of nature just where you are. To learn a new concept or idea. To learn about new people.

Curiosity is just asking questions and discovering. Knowledge comes from seeking answers to those questions. Then thinking about those answers. With a mind open to the possibilities of wonder, knowledge, growth.

I far past 6 years old, but I’m still curious about just about everything (except pop culture). How about you? Time to kindle that flame of curiosity? Time to learn and grow?

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