Archive for the ‘Attitude’ Category

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Just Stubborn or Unwilling to Grow

May 22, 2014

A trait in successful leaders is the willingness to continue growing as a person. It’s something we should all work at our entire lives.

I think about all the people who came to Jesus for advice and went away sad because they could not do what he advised. Just think, the person best fitted to help people grow, the person filled with the Spirit of God, gave personal advice and often the other would walk away sad.

I’ve come across people–leaders–who seem to have no capacity for growth. Some don’t even seem to acknowledge that there is even any room in them for more growth.

Just had dinner with a man from Scotland. He said he was from up north, not the south like Robert Burns. His comment reminded me of the famous line in a poem, which I will not give in the vernacular, that went Oh what a gift he gives us, to see ourselves as others see us.

Do you ever, like me, walk away from a situation thinking, God, what a jerk I was? I’ll reflect and swear I’ll change. Which I don’t enough. I’m just a work in progress.

So, I wonder. Are some people just stubborn? They refuse to listen to others or acknowledge the need to change? Or, when the Clue Train stopped, did they just fail to accept a delivery?

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Value of a Smile

May 15, 2014

When you walk into a room, what do you bring with you? Cheer, or gloom?

I recently met a woman. I know when I see her again that I will recognize her. Yet, I cannot really picture her in my mind. What I remember is her smile. It is so friendly.

Last night at dinner, I noticed that when I dealt with my server or the hostess with a smile, it seemed contagious. My server was OK, but she seemed to become nicer and smiled, too.

Maybe these are contagious. Maybe like they say about love, the more you give away the more you receive.

Then there are the people who seem to spread gloom or discord wherever they go. They talk about other people’s problems and faults. They scowl. (Ever look at an older person’s face and see how it is set–either in a permanent frown or smile?) The just seem to deflate the atmosphere.

There is a line in a detective novel I’ll never forget. Someone is describing a man and says, “He smiles, but his eyes don’t seem to match the smile.”

The smile must be part of your person, or people will feel the masquerade.

On the other hand, maybe you don’t feel on top of the world. Things are weighing you down. Yet, when you meet someone, if you can smile a greeting not only do they feel better, but so will you.

I don’t think Richard Foster listed smiling as a Spiritual Discipline. I think it fits.

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Doing What God Calls You To Do

April 28, 2014

The city was known for its violence and cruelty. Its treatment of outsiders was known and feared.

It had gotten so bad that God decided to act. It was either that the city, meaning the attitudes and orientation of all the people in the city, change its ways or it would be destroyed.

God called a man to take this message to the city. He went to the city and preached what we would call repentance. That means he called the people to change the attitude of their hearts from one of cruelty and violence to one oriented toward walking with God. This attitude would be reflected in the way that they lived, such that instead of a reputation for cruelty, they would gain a reputation as God-followers.

The man went, he preached, they changed. Great story.

Except.

The man did not want to do that. The city was his people’s archenemy. He wanted it destroyed and all the people who lived there.

So he did what anyone would do in that situation. He fled. He ran away from God. But God cannot be escaped. He caught the man and pretty much forced him to go to the city and preach. And the man was successful. The city and all the inhabitants repented and changed their ways. God did not destroy the city. The man sat outside and pouted. He wanted destruction. God wanted a right life.

The man’s name was Jonah. God caught him with a fish who grabbed him and took him back to the land. The story isn’t about the fish. The story is about repentance. About how God wanted everyone (not just the Hebrews) to repent and follow Him. It’s also a story about call.

Do you feel a call. It weighed on my soul for a long time that I should have a ministry. Didn’t know what it would be. I thought I knew. But then came a call. Actually, I was called for the same ministry many years ago. Said I couldn’t do it. God waited. He struck. I’m stuck.

How about you? What is weighing on your heart? Or maybe it’s a clear voice that you’re trying to ignore. Don’t ignore. In the end, God wins.

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Perseverance and Perspective

April 25, 2014

Sometimes I like to touch on leadership issues. Several months ago, I took on a couple of leadership roles where some roadblocks popped up on the path. I’m still fighting through some. But I was reminded of two words that have stood me well over the years.

Perseverance. Perspective.

Someone asked me earlier this week how one of the roles I had undertaken was going. Moving along, I replied. I guess you just need perseverance. Sometimes you just have to keep moving, no matter what. Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal. — Henry Ford.

Perspective means keeping the scope of live in mind. What does it all mean in the timeline of your life? There are things I’m taking on where I’m re-evaluating what the situation means in the scope of my life. Is this what I want to be doing? What is the importance relative to other things I’m doing?

I often ask the perspective question to dads and coaches (and sometimes moms) in youth soccer. The result of the 10-yr-olds game is not going to mean the difference of a World Cup draw seeding. Mostly they perspective of the kids is on the ice cream at the end of the game–win or lose.

Perspective will help your perseverance when your goals are aligned. When you are doing what you feel called to do. It will keep you going when obstacles seem like barriers rather than problems.

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Being Compassionate

April 3, 2014

Do you notice that there are “memes” that run through Facebook? Someone starts a thought that gets repeated by many for a day or two.

A recent meme circulated by many of my “friends” on Facebook had to do with getting rid of “deadbeats”. They don’t say what they’d do with them; but they want them gone.

I wonder if any of these sheltered people know any poor people relationally. It’s easy. In America today, millions of people are just one illness away from bankruptcy.

What gets to me more than the politics is the attitude. When I glance through the posts–many from people I know personally–the cynicism, arrogance, and lack of empathy just totally strikes at my heart. Are these people really that heartless? Or are they just parroting the “party line?”

Willow Creek Community Church just began its annual three-weekend long Compassion series called Celebration of Hope. Last Sunday, Executive Pastor and Director of Compassion and Justice, Heather Larson, spoke on compassion. This message deserves a listen.

I’m not the kind of liberal who arose especially in the late 60s who is optimistic that government can be a tool to eradicate all poverty and injustice. Neither am I the type of conservative prevalent today that seems to reflect the attitude of self-centeredness and condescension.

I would rather challenge everyone whatever their social status to have compassion toward everyone and especially those who have suffered misfortune. That is one of the things we do to live like a disciple of Jesus.

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Facing Conflict

April 1, 2014

Do you like conflict? Like confrontation? Like to make someone else angry?

How do you deal with it?

I hate it. My basic life orientation is toward peace, calming people, making people feel good. Yet, sometimes I get into situations where I need to face conflict and confrontation. A mentor told me once, “The trouble is you’re a change agent.” Yes, if you try to make changes, you’ll upset someone. Then you have to face it.

There are at least two of those situations in my life right now…no, maybe three.

There’s a story in the Gospel of John that has double brackets around it in my translation. This story was not universally included in ancient transcripts of the Gospel. It even appeared in Luke in some ancient manuscripts. But it is a story within Jesus’ character.

This is the story of the woman caught in adultery. Jesus was teaching in the Temple. The Temple leaders brought a woman caught in the act of adultery to Jesus. Since Jesus had healed someone on the Sabbath in defiance of their interpretation of Moses’ Law. They wanted to test him according to the Law–which mandated stoning the woman (but the man was also to be punished, and he was not caught).

This is the famous “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” Then he looked down at the ground and wrote (we don’t know what).

Think of the psychology. He was confronted by an angry and suspicious mob. He confronted them with a statement that made them think. But he did not stare at them accusingly. He just looked down and let them decide individually.

What a model. I’m sure something for me to learn from that. Be strong, but not provocative.

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Change Your Personality

March 27, 2014

Know anyone who was once addicted to something–sex, drugs, alcohol, TV, gaming–and then “got converted” and became addicted to Jesus (or some other religion or pseudo-religion)?

They had the same personality. It was just directed in a different manner. Hopefully less personally destructive, although not always.

Can you really change your personality?

I have witnessed personalities change over time. Mine certainly has–considerably. Sometimes that’s good. Sometimes not.

You can take the Myers-Briggs Types Indicator and see where you fall as one of 16 personality types. Some things don’t change. I’m “Thinking” rather than “Feeling” rather strongly. (My Extrovert/Introvert type is just borderline E–could go either way, for example.) My whole life if you give me information, I’ll analyze it. Think about it. I tend to go with thinking rather than how I feel about it.

Sometimes an analytical personality will drive people crazy–especially the feeling types.

Looked at another way, there are controlling types of people. They actually can change, learn to let go and loosen up a little. Become more aware of others and gain a broader perspective.

I grew up with a worrier and anxious type. It rubbed off on me, of course. But I learned skills to cope. 45 years of meditation also helps bring down anxiety and controlling tendencies–you can become at once more mellow and more focused.

Knowing personality type helps you understand why you like certain types of worship rather than others. You can learn it isn’t good or bad–some people just are more comfortable with one type.

Knowing when your type drives other people crazy can be the first step toward toning down the negative parts of a type and enhancing the positive–thus getting along with other types.

I have seen personalities change over time. Beware of sudden personality changes in yourself or someone you know. That could be a symptom of a problem. But it probably helps all of us to mellow out the extremes of our personality type and learn to get along.

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Expecting People to Change Before We Befriend Them

March 4, 2014

Do you expect people to change before you will associate with them? People often think that their husband/wife will change after marriage, but people in church often (usually?) say, “Change, and then you can join us.”

John (the disciple, apostle, writer of the Gospel) is an excellent writer. To call him “uneducated” is a slander. He just didn’t attend the “right school.” He packs so much into a story that we give it a disservice by reading it quickly.

The story about the man healed by the Pool of Bethesda that I discussed yesterday is such a story. The point of the story was to show that Jesus was the Son of God. The subpoint was that the Jewish religious establishment hated him and wanted to kill him.

Why such animosity? Because Jesus threatened their very way of life. He threatened their superiority. They had set themselves aside with the vocation of being good. The studied scriptures and laws all day and followed every law. They were good.

And, they said that if you’ll change and be good, then maybe you can be one of us.

Jesus said to people, follow me and then you’ll change.

Jesus told the man to get up, pick up his mat, go and sin no more.

Oops, that violated a law. It was the Sabbath. The Lord said, don’t work on the Sabbath. The lawyers had to define work. One of the many detailed what you could carry before it was considered work. This man violated that rule.

Do we react to people we meet in the way of the Pharisees? Instead of rejoicing, we look for reasons to disapprove. We tell people that if they become like us, then they can be our friends–maybe, instead of welcoming other people and leading them to a life in the Spirit.

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Where Your Heart Is

February 28, 2014

Did you see the pictures coming from the Ukraine this week about the way the ruling elite lived? The personal palace of the guy who was President for really only a short period of time? Some members of Parliament?

Maybe because I wrote some thoughts about materialism on Monday I’m more sensitive to more news about it. The Ukraine is not a poor country in the ways of some really impoverished countries are, but even in those the leaders seem to be able to amass fortunes and live in luxury.

And it’s not just there. Especially since World War II, think of how many people go off to Washington, D.C. to “serve the people” as middle class citizens and leave as wealthy, entitled people.

And it doesn’t stop there. Have you ever worked in corporations where not just the top guy or top level are enriching themselves but also managers all the way down are figuring out ways to beat the system and grab some perks or additional money.

Preachers are not immune. Even volunteers serving local organizations succumb to the temptation to use their positions to enrich themselves.

How can these people spend so much time cultivating friends and figuring out ways to enrich themselves while supposedly working for the betterment of the people who entrust them?

Well, it must be in the heart. Jesus warned us–we cannot serve two masters. And if we choose the wrong master, we will not live in eternal life. Justice is usually served to the greedy ones. But even if not in a civil sense, it is in a spiritual sense. And it is life in the Spirit that matters.

None of us are immune to the temptation. The scale may be different, but the heart is the same. We cannot serve both God and money. What do our lives say about our choice?

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Beware of Materialism

February 24, 2014

I was always aware of the subtle irony when I worked in product development at a company that made products for wealthy people. It’s not that I’m completely non-materialist–I’ve always like tools and gadgets–but that having material goods has not been a priority of mine since somewhere in my college days.

Bible Study Magazine contains an article this issue that is a story about the president of China Bible Seminary in Hong Kong. Julie Wu grew up there, but obtained a Ph.D. from Fuller Theological Seminary in California.

She discusses the difficulties of talking with people whose religion is Buddhism or ancestor worship. Today’s materialist culture in Hong Kong, which she compares to the West, presents the biggest challenge to talking to people about spiritual things.

“Materialism powerfully draws away Christians’ attention to God and our dependence on Him. It leaves us with no time to develop a closer or deeper relationship,” she says. This orientation toward life leaves one open to sin or helplessness.

Jesus, the Proverbs, and countless other teachers have preached on the problems of materialism. This is not a distinctively 20th-21st Century problem. I find it interesting that people were teaching about that some 4,000 years ago.

Every once in a while, it is good to step back and do a self-check. What am I holding on to? Are my urges pointed toward acquiring something material? Am I able to control those urges?

Early in my career, I was interviewing for a position whose compensation would have been substantially greater than what I was making. “What would you do with the additional money?” the interviewer inquired.

A good thought to ponder.

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