Faith Venture

Whining—constant commentary about things that cannot be changed to people who have no power to change it. It must solve some inner inadequacy. I don’t know. Most people avoid whiners.

Then there is complaining. It can be different.

Seth Godin thinks the best way to complain is to make things better. “Complaining can be a form of intimacy. It’s a useful way to explain our behavior. And best of all, it gives us a way to communicate as we work to create community action. The best sort of complaint requires generosity and courage.”

Sometimes people who complain are those who notice how something could be better. With a small group of change makers, complaining could provide an impetus to make the change that matters.

Godin continues, “Whining is empty commentary where no action is possible, about something we already understand. We all know it’s raining. Let’s walk.”

Yes, let’s walk.

Former US President Jimmy Carter tells about interviewing with Admiral Rickover the leader of the nuclear-powered submarine fleet for a position after graduating from the US Naval Academy. Rickover asked him, “Have you always done your best?” Carter reflected and answered honestly, “No, I have to say I haven’t.”

That led to a resolution to always do his best.

Writer and venture capitalist Om Malik says (about surviving a heart attack 16 years ago), “I often ask myself: am I making the most of this additional time? Why am I wasting time on meaningless things? Today, I’ve pondered this a lot. If I’m honest, I admit I do need to make a few adjustments.”

This week as we look forward to a new year and perhaps a new start these questions are a great launching for reflecting on where we go from here.

• Have I always done my best? Why not?
• How can I make the most of my time this year?
• Where am I wasting time on meaningless things?

Kind hearts are the garden,

kind thoughts are the roots,

kind words are the blossoms,

kind deeds are the fruits.

– John Ruskin

We are approaching the end of a year and the beginning of a new one. Think not of New Year’s Resolutions or goals. Or even “I resolve to be a kinder person next year.” These never succeed.

No, rather, look at yourself. What sort of person are you? What sort of person would you like to be? Perhaps write in your journal or calendar (diary) a brief description of the person you would like to be. Here is a suggestion. Write, I will be the sort of person who

Cultivates a kind heart,

Redirects thoughts and feelings intentionally toward kindness,

Pauses before speaking then speaking with kindness,

Instinctively acts toward others with kindness.

At the conclusion of the year, people will say about me, “there went a kind person.”

People seem to like to refer to others as part of a group. In this era of political correctness and cancel culture, how can someone refer to people of a group without hazard? We all grew up with a set of shortcut words to describe others. Are those words now deemed offensive? Sometimes we don’t know.

Maybe we need to get beyond typing people be some group characteristic.

Do you ask someone their Sun Sign and then type them as acting a certain way? (I’m a Scorpio. That’s supposed to be bad, I think. I married an Aquarius. That’s supposed to be the worst match. We’ll find out someday…but our next anniversary will be 55.)

Perhaps the Enneagram is your type of choice. Some people treat it similarly to Sun Sign. It’s really meant to help you understand yourself—your positive tendencies, how your negative tendencies appear. You don’t meet someone in a bar and say, “I hope you’re a 7.” Hint: you probably won’t meet a 5 at the bar 😉

OK, the obvious is race, color, religion (or lack thereof), ancestral homeland, and the like.

What happens if we just think of people as, well, people? Humans? Children of God?

I think of the varieties of people Jesus interacted with. He was from Galilee. That was a commerce crossroads area not as isolated as Judea. He could go from Greek to Roman to Syrian to Samaritan to Jew and deal with each individually according to their needs. The gospel writers may have detailed these out of amazement that a Jewish rabbi would interact with so many non-Jewish people and with women so familiarly.

Perhaps we could all take a hint.