Archive for the ‘Attitude’ Category

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Compassion

January 7, 2026

A small text document sits always at the top left of my computer screen. It shows me a blessing written by the Irish poet John O’Donohue.

May I live this day compassionate of heart…

Our pastor had a sort of lottery bowl at the front Sunday. It contained cards for us to draw at random. Referring to the star that guided the Magi, these were to be our “Star Words” for the year.

I drew Compassion.

I try to keep a clean desk (Even though Albert Einstein supposedly quipped, “If a messy desk is the sign of a disordered mind, of what is an empty desk a sign?”). I have placed the card on the desk lamp as a reminder for the year.

When someone does something foolish (even me) or stupid or even evil, it’s a reminder that there is some part of that someone in need of compassion. Perhaps even my small thought of compassion reflects on me as a reminder to also hold some compassion for my stupidity.

When an interview turned somewhat political and the interviewer asked executive coach Jerry Colonna how he could be compassionate toward the personality of Donald Trump, he replied, “I see an injured little boy trying to live up to his dad’s expectations, and I feel compassion.”

Where can we look beneath the surface and offer compassion today? And tomorrow?

(Yes, I digress from exploring the letter of James—but I think he’d approve.)

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One Represents Many?

January 2, 2026

One media theme I’ve observed for decades that continues to generate smoke concerns acts by individual people.

You’ve seen it. You may have participated on social media. You may have been influenced. This is not an American thing. It’s a people thing.

One person does something—good or bad, but usually bad. People in media immediately extrapolate from the one to the many. Instead of this individual doing something, the reports make it seem that all people like that person are the same—gender, nationality, race, religion, age.

If you got caught doing something—bad or good—how representative would that be of people like you? Maybe you wish that it would reflect well on people like you.

Maybe 2026 will be the year where we truly represent what it means to be a Jesus-follower. Wouldn’t that be nice?

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Posted in Attitude, Living, Witness | Leave a Comment »

Close Out One Year–Begin Another

December 30, 2025

The end of a season of life calls for reflection and anticipation. I’m posting this on December 30. We are all, no matter the culture or geography, closing out a calendar year. Sometimes a semester of school ends. Or graduation from high school or university. Or a child marries and leaves the nest.

Reflecting on the past brings with it opportunities to consider what we did to help people during the past time and, perhaps, where we fell short. We failed to put a donation into a cup somewhere. We failed to give a kind word when it would have helped so much. 

Perhaps we read something that deepened our spiritual life. Perhaps we had deep conversations. Perhaps we did help someone in need.

In the Examen promulgated by Ignatius of Loyola, we are told to review the day, face our shortcomings, and look forward to the new day.

I suggest that you avoid New Year’s Resolutions. Unless, that is, you make something very specific. Perhaps I will walk five days per week. Or, I will work out at the fitness center three days per week. (Not like Dave, who goes into our fitness center every Monday, steps one foot on the treadmill, then goes out to coffee hour and tells the men he went to the fitness center today 😉

Best is to be intentional about what sort of person you will be this year.

  • I am the type of person who intentionally eats nutritious meals.
  • I am the type of person who is physically fit.
  • I am the type of person who meditates and prays to deepen my spiritual life.
  • I am the type of person who is kind and generous to others along the way. 

And, if we slip up a day, that’s life. And, we go on to the next day.

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Jesus Was There…Is Here

December 26, 2025

We have had the Feast Day (I hope your “feast” was bountiful, almost healthful, and pleasant) celebrating the birth of Jesus.

Almost nothing is recorded about Jesus from about two years old or fewer when the Magi visited until his ministry. That leaves much to the imagination. The most imaginative book I’ve read speculating on those years is Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Jesus’ Best Pal by Christopher Moore. If you are shocked by imaginative literature, don’t read it. But I found it both hilarious and poignant.

Back to reality. Jesus began a ministry. His first word was an invitation, which I take to mean us as well as the original disciples—Follow Me.

What did it mean to follow—for them and for us and for those we also invite?

Jesus answered that with his only command, “Love God with all your heart, mind, spirit, and strength, and your neighbor as yourself.”

Some people stop at the “love God” part. They ignore the rest.

Don’t be “some people.”

If you wonder about the love your neighbor part—James gives some pithy examples. Also read the letter to the Romans—chapters 12-15. These answer the question, “What’s next?”

What sort of person do wish to be in 2026? You could do worse than emulate those instructions.

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Preparing for Christmas—They Got It Wrong

December 25, 2025

I read Mary’s song of blessing again. My takeaway for us, especially if we are gathering with family—beware pride, practice humility. 

Everyone got Jesus’s birth wrong.

Mary was shocked. And then really pregnant. And escaped the rumor mongers of her hometown.

Joseph was even more shocked. He is almost never discussed again. The mystery man. He just reveals to us what a real man, a spiritual man, would do.

The magi (“wise men”) prepared for a journey, went in a general direction, but still didn’t really know where, and all the imports of the special revelation.

King Herod only thought in terms of the succession to his throne. That sort of reminds us of King Saul trying to protect the succession of his throne from David.

The Gospels record three people contemporary with the event who all saw part of the event but failed to see the full import.

Jewish people during Jesus’s ministry failed to understand the full import of the event and his ministry—until after the resurrection.

His closest friends and followers got it wrong—until they got it right.

I bet that many (most?) people today, even those who claim to follow him, don’t really digest the full importance of the event.

Even so, 2,000 years after the fact, we still have a feast day to remember his birth.

I wish you all a merry Christmas. Put aside pride and differences in order to celebrate with others.

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Posted in advent, Attitude, Humility | Leave a Comment »

Talking People Out Of Hate–Part 2

December 24, 2025

The post yesterday looked at a man unafraid to face people who hate him only because of his skin color. A black jazz musician named Darryl Davis who found a type of ministry engaging in conversations with white men who are active neo-nazis or ku klux klan members.

Shortly after posting that, a video popped up on my fitness and nutrition app (called the Pump Club founded by Arnold Schwarzenegger, it guides me in my resistance training). I have to admit that I never had posters of Arnold in his prime doing muscle poses. If I had lived in California, I’m not sure I’d have voted for him to be the “Governator.” I’ve only see two of his movies, and only one intentionally. But I’ve come to respect his nonprofit work, especially building the fitness and esteem of young people.

He directly addresses hate in this YouTube video. It is a powerful message.

If you haven’t guessed it yet, I believe that spreading hate and divisiveness is the polar opposite of the message we should be living as Jesus followers. We should be reconciling people as much as we can. Being always successful? Not likely. But we aren’t graded on success. We are graded on where our heart is.

In this Christmas season, in fact this publishes on Christmas Eve, let us dedicate ourselves anew to the Prince of Peace.

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Posted in advent, Attitude, Love, Peace | Leave a Comment »

Talking People Out of Hate

December 23, 2025

The conversation occurred between a black jazz musician and a white member of the Ku Klux Klan. The white man asked, “Why should I listen to you? You’re just a drive-by shooter and gang-banger.”

“Because I’m black?” replied the musician. “Perhaps that’s just where they live. On the other hand, you must be a serial killer. David Berkowitz, Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, I can’t think of one black serial killer.”

“That’s not fair,” came the reply.

The breakthrough created a conversation. Perhaps not a conversion. But a start. Breaking through stereotypes leads to better conversations. Perhaps we can see other humans as, well, human.

Thinking of peaceful relationships hopefully leading to joy during this Christmas Season (some people’s experience of Advent), I reflected on this podcast episode of Adam Grant’s Rethinking. (I’ve previously recommended his book.) The only link I could find was to the podcast app I use on iOS. You can find it, I’m sure, on Apple podcasts.

This is the description of the episode. I highly recommend listening. The Ku Klux Klan is one of the tightest-knit White supremacist groups in America—once someone joins, they’re usually in for life. But since the 1980s, over 200 members have renounced their affiliation, and all give credit to the same man: a Black jazz musician named Daryl Davis. In this episode, Adam is joined by Daryl and Jeff Schoep, a former leader of the largest neo-Nazi group in the US whose life and mind were changed by meeting and befriending Daryl. They discuss techniques for challenging ignorance and prejudice, analyze the cognitive dissonance experienced by members of extremist groups, and reflect on the conversations with Daryl that helped Jeff think again. They also explore the limits of empathy and curiosity.

I cannot explain how some people come to feel hatred toward other groups. I’ve read many books and papers. More to my interest concerns having civil conversations across divisions. As a liberal living in a very conservative area, I’ve had some practice. It’s a continuing education process. How can you reach out and gently help others break stereotypes? Perhaps also for me.

Some links for Host & Guest

Adam Grant (Instagram: @adamgrant | LinkedIn: @adammgrant | Website: https://adamgrant.net/) 

Daryl Davis (Instagram: @realdaryldavis | Website: https://www.daryldavis.com/) 

Jeff Schoep (Instagram: @jeff_schoep | Website: https://jeffschoep.com/) 

Links

Homepage

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Posted in Attitude, communication | Leave a Comment »

Curbing Your Tongue

December 22, 2025

As I have turned from inward toward outward during Advent (since I have never been an Advent sort of person), I have been thinking about how each of us interacts with others. If we call this the “Christmas season” rather than Advent, then we consider the themes of peace and joy with perhaps a pinch of anticipation tossed in.

One form of peace enters our experience through how we treat  others, how others treat us, and how we observe interactions of others at some distance.

I listened recently to an interview with a kindergarten teacher on what it’s like to be one. She said at one point, “Kindergarteners are so cute. They say whatever comes into their minds.”

And I thought about the general discourse in society today. Especially where I hear some people (who have an especially amplified voice thanks to the insidious spread of social media) who became angry feeling they were forced into civilized discourse rather than being able to say whatever comes to mind. 

But what is cute in 5-year-olds sounds much differently when it comes from adults. With maturity comes the ability to speak with a civil tongue. Especially for those who claim to be following Jesus.

Let us consider the teaching of James, the brother of Jesus, an early leader of “The Way,” and a profound wisdom teacher. 

When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

What is James telling us at the end of his analysis? What we say is a reflection of the status of our hearts. What was Jesus’s top concern—the status of our hearts. And where should our hearts be resting? Upon God. Which then has the effect upon us of loving other humans. 

So, we tie the inner and the outer together. As we consider the themes of peace and joy during this season (and the year following), let us consider how we use our “tongues,” whether vocally or through our fingers on a keyboard. Let us put a metaphorical bit in our mouth. 

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Posted in advent, Attitude, Love | Leave a Comment »

Be Useful

December 19, 2025

OK, I’m going to provide a little last minute advice for upcoming family dinners.

Liberate yourself from the need to be Right.

Choose to be useful instead.

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In The Mood

December 18, 2025

No, I’m not thinking about Glenn Miller, even though we’ve attended two WWII-era plays this season. (Great song, I grew up learning to play drums to big band music. Oh, to be 9 again.)

I think about how I (and most likely you) tend to wait until we’re in the mood to do things—perform a service, write that novel, say Hi to a friend, read Luke 1…

Professionals don’t wait until they are in the mood before they do the work. They do the work to get in the mood.

Same with us. Perform that charity service, write that note, visit someone. As you do, the mood will follow.

Sort of like yesterday’s thought—the world seems backward. The more we do good things, the better the mood we’re in, and the better the reciprocation of others. It spreads.

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Posted in Attitude, Doing | Leave a Comment »

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