Author Archive

I Haven’t Learned That Yet

January 23, 2025

I Guess I Haven’t Learned That Yet: Discovering New Ways of Living When the Old Ways Stop Working, by Shauna Niequist.

How does one deal with the crash and burn of a famous father’s career (dragging down theirs)j along with the body beginning to act in strange and mysterious ways? Add a physical move to a completely different environment and way of life.

Shauna Niequist (NEE-kwist) blends fifty vignettes into a book that explores how she coped with the grief of sudden upheaval of life.

This is an excellent book club read for those groups not too timid to discuss dealing with painful real life.

Maybe you or someone you know currently deals with some shock of life and the resultant emotions and physical reactions. Don’t offer advice or ignore them. Buy this book and simply hand it to them. It would be like giving them a friend to walk along with them on the journey.

But the writing contains neither hopeless nor despair.

Oh, how do you deal with it? One day at a time. Seek out some joy—walking, cooking, gathering with friends over food and wine and conversation. Find a good therapist. In a weird way, it’s a celebration of life over pain.

It Is In The Body

January 22, 2025

I am working on a study guide to lead people into the practice of Spiritual Disciplines. I constructed a parallel list of practices from several writers. I wondered what was similar. What was different.

I stared at the list while sitting in the lounge of the ship taking us from Australia to New Zealand. A piano/violin duet performed quietly in the background. Comfortable seating. Art displayed. Small groups of people talking. And I pondered.

The thought came to me clearly. They all began with a list of ancient practices. They dived right in with prayer, study, communal worship, fasting. These indeed are individual practices.

They all assumed that the seeker has already made the decision. That the seeker knew how to develop some habits and unlearn others.

To write to a beginner, intellectual knowledge goes nowhere.

Let us look at nutrition.

Body weight is directly proportional to calories ingested. If you eat more calories than you burn, your weight will go up. If you resistance train, then the added weight might be muscle. Otherwise it will be white adipose tissue—fat.

Before anything, we must look in a mirror and realize we have too much weight. Perhaps we realize the health ramifications of too much weight—diabetes, high blood pressure, joint pain, loss of mobility.

Then we decide that something must be done. We change our attitude toward food. We realize we must eat fewer calories, but we also must supply proper nutrients to the body. We also still need to enjoy eating. No diet that we cannot sustain over time will work. 

We change what we eat, how we eat. We realize we can eat good food and eat well, yet cut portion size, late night snacking, pitching things from our pantries such as potato chips (and the like) and pastries.

I’ve dropped 20 pounds over a couple of years that way. With dedication to resistance training adding muscle (which weighs more than fat).

Let’s talk about spiritual life. Somewhere we’ve looked into the mirror of life and realized that we are not walking with God. We would like to experience living with-God. We would like to experience at least some of those fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. We know people like that. We’d like to be one of them.

We decide to change. Maybe one thing at a time. Maybe setting aside five minutes every morning to read from the Bible or from a devotional. Maybe we learn to pray with just our breath to begin with in those five minutes.

Then we learn about how to study, how to meditate, how to pray. We find a group where we can worship and pray together—like finding a gym for fitness, it’s a gym for spiritual fitness.

Habits start one little trigger at a time. I see my cup of coffee and my chair. I take the freshly brewed coffee to my chair to savor both for a few minutes of intentional reading or prayer daily. It becomes a habit. We expand. We roll out of bed 30 minutes earlier so that we can spend a little more time in the chair. One day we look in the mirror and marvel at the change.

The pursuit of spiritual discipline begins with the small step of decision and intention. Maybe it starts with nutrition and fitness so that when we roll out of bed heading to the coffee maker and chair we feel fit and alive. It’s hard to concentrate when the body screams at you.

Maybe this will become the introduction to my little study guide—or a longer book. Who knows?

Beginner’s Mind

January 21, 2025

Finding good sources then returning to read them often allows you to go deeply into the material. The Bible. Shakespeare. Seneca. Thomas Merton. The Desert Fathers.

These, I return to.

I confess to being off my decades-long habit of reading the Book of Proverbs every January as a way to set a foundation for the year. The excuse was spending the first ten days of the month on a cruise to Australia and New Zealand without my usual Bible.

Poor excuse, I know.

Trying to pack light, I did bring along Anam Cara by John O’Donohue and Contemplative Prayer by Thomas Merton. I’m still slowly going through Contemplative Prayer.

Merton’s primary intended audience focuses on monks. He was a Trappist monk.

He discusses those who enter the contemplative life thinking they already know everything figuring there are spiritual shortcuts to enlightenment. He says, “The only trouble is that in the spiritual life there are no tricks and no short cuts.”

Continuing, he observes, “One cannot begin to face the real difficulties of the life of prayer and meditation unless one is first perfectly content to be a beginner and really experience himself as one who knows little or nothing, and has a desperate need to learn the bare rudiments.”

Cultivating beginner’s mind is also fundamental to Buddhist meditation practice.

But also, cultivating a beginner’s mind is foundational for developing curiosity.

As an example of my eclectic reading, this week’s MIT Sloan Management Review newsletter pointing to top articles linked to one on Essential Leadership Skills for this year. Not to hold you in suspense, they are fairness (how to treat people), curiosity (open to learning), and sense of humor (not as comedian, but as ability to laugh at yourself).

I can’t think of a better way to set a course for the year than the beginner’s mind. Being open to new experiences. Open to new ideas and information even if it causes you to rethink current positions. Open to God’s leading (rather than prayer as telling God what he ought to be doing).

Christian Virtues

January 20, 2025

Ryan Holliday has built a career writing about the Stoics and their set of virtues. I’ve read often of the set of Buddhist virtues. This is not a term common in my Christian reading. So, I asked claude.ai (one of the large language model AI services) to provide a list of Christian virtues.

1. Love and Compassion

2. Dignity of Human Life

3. Service and Humility

4. Forgiveness and Reconciliation

5. Hope and Resilience

6. Community and Mutual Support

7. Ethical Framework

8. Stewardship and Responsibility

9. Personal Transformation

10. Sacrificial Love

These all nestle nicely within my outline of spiritual disciplines or spiritual practices. These should be considered as a guide to living a life with-God. More of a guide or attitude than as a checklist.

More on these later. 

Speech–Free or Responsible

January 17, 2025

We read and hear much noise about free speech these days in the US. Some people think they have a “right” to say whatever they feel like no matter the consequences or hurt caused.

The men who wrote the free speech amendment into the US Constitution were concerned not only with limiting the government’s ability to curtail speech. Reading their correspondence, we find that they were also concerned with responsible speech. They expected a discourse among people who had thought out ideas and spoke responsibly among the population.

OK, they were idealists of the “Age of Reason.”

However, this echoes what we find in the letter of James, the Apostle and brother of Jesus. He called the tongue “restless evil, full of deadly poison.”

While we exercise our right to free speech, we must be mindful of what we say lest we spread evil and deadly poison setting forests of emotions ablaze to no worthwhile end.

Not everything that is thought needs to be said.

Advice and Consultants

January 16, 2025

The first time I was hired as a consultant I felt so unfulfilled afterward. My career was management and engineering. The manager of a local non-profit agency hired me to help sort out a problem. I did the research and wrote a report. Then, I walked away. What I did helped him. But I was an implementer by training.

Yes, I’ve had consulting gigs (paid and not-paid) since. I’ve learned the role of researching and providing advice. Sometimes the results are rewarding.

Seth Godin packs a lot of wisdom into his writing. He’s generous giving it away for free. His recent blog post on Good Advice suggests

The cult of consulting suggests that if you simply had better advice from someone who knew more than you, your problems could be solved. Generally, the advice isn’t really the hard part. There’s endless good advice just a click away. The art is in creating the conditions for people to choose to act on the advice. Good advice unheeded is a waste for everyone involved. That’s why expensive consultants can stay in business, and why committing to a process before you’re sure of all the details makes it far more likely that you’ll succeed.

We find in the Book of Proverbs that a wise leader seeks multiple sources of advice.

Advice is only half of the battle. Committing to the process of implementation finishes the work.

Seeing People

January 15, 2025

We recently finished a 15-day cruise to Australia and New Zealand. There were about 900 passengers with about 430 crew. We went ashore to visit 8 or 9 cities. We visited two Māori villages participating in an ancient ritual. Saw seals and blue penguins along the coast of New Zealand.

The amazing realization that came to us—1,000 plus personalities and not one jerk. Everywhere and in all the comings and goings people were respectful to each other and the places we visited.

Life need not replicate the hatred, angst, fear, ego found on social media. Indeed, the richer and more arrogant the owners of Meta (Facebook, et. al.) and Xitter become, the less likely I am to use them. After all, I am the product there. And we know what Wisdom literature teaches about ego and pride.

We can simply open our eyes and enjoy meeting and working with a variety of people each delightful in their own special way. We show respect, and others appreciate and reflect it.

I think that is following in the way Jesus treated people. It follows along with the Apostle Paul’s emphasis on mutual submission. We don’t study it to learn it intellectually. We study it in order to practice it.

Compassion

January 14, 2025

Hello, we’ve only just returned from a 17-day holiday to Australia and New Zealand. Not only are our bodies adjusting to the time zone but it is also 11 deg F outside after having been in summertime. It was a wonderful trip. Met many interesting people.

Even though I’m continuing a mental health break from incessant news cycles, I am aware of global events—including the California wildfires.

It’s not surprising, but still sad, to hear about how some people shout out on social media about how the people are wealthy or Democrat or liberal or something and, therefore, not deserving of our sympathy.

Some people emphasize the adjective (liberal, wealthy, black, white, etc.); I prefer to place emphasis on the noun (people).

The Germans have a way of building words to reflect complex ideas. Schadenfreude describes taking pleasure from others’ misfortunes.

Let us consider the Christian virtue of Compassion.

Rather, let us consider people as people. Particular weather conditions over the course of a year set up an ideal environment for sudden and intense fires. With barely enough notice to save themselves, people evacuated with what they could carry. They watched their houses destroyed. More than the belongings were the memories that went up in smoke. Their entire lives reset.

Other parts of our country, and indeed the entire planet, fall victim to natural disasters be it floods or tornadoes or earthquakes. These kill people. They destroy homes and villages. They erase physical memories and keepsakes.

They all deserve our compassion and our help.

Often overlooked are the thousands of people on the ground at these disasters helping others at personal peril and sacrifice. They also deserve compassion and help.

We belong to a United Methodist congregation. The United Methodist Church has a mission arm (UMCOR) that is often among the first on the scene providing assistance. If you belong to a Christian denomination, ask if they have this sort of mission. If yes, donate. If no, ask why not.

In response, pray and do.

Complaining and Whining

January 13, 2025

Whining—constant commentary about things that cannot be changed to people who have no power to change it. It must solve some inner inadequacy. I don’t know. Most people avoid whiners.

Then there is complaining. It can be different.

Seth Godin thinks the best way to complain is to make things better. “Complaining can be a form of intimacy. It’s a useful way to explain our behavior. And best of all, it gives us a way to communicate as we work to create community action. The best sort of complaint requires generosity and courage.”

Sometimes people who complain are those who notice how something could be better. With a small group of change makers, complaining could provide an impetus to make the change that matters.

Godin continues, “Whining is empty commentary where no action is possible, about something we already understand. We all know it’s raining. Let’s walk.”

Yes, let’s walk.

Overthinking and Stressing

January 10, 2025

This statement came from Arnold Schwarzenegger writing to his fitness community. “I wrote the article below in The Pump App because I worry people overthink fitness and want everything to be perfect when it never will be. When you use that much brainpower stressing and beating yourself up, you are wasting the energy you can use to get moving forward.”

We do this in our spiritual life, too. We overthink. We stress. We worry over many things (paraphrase of Jesus once to Martha).

Practice on these things.

Be still, and know that I am God.

My yoke is easy, and my burden light.

Fear not!