Trust and Openness
You meet a person
She casts a suspicious glance,
A guarded posture.
And another,
His furtive glance,
Filled with distrust.
You look at a mirror,
Perhaps it’s me,
Not them.
Perhaps if I smiled
With my eyes
As with my lips.
Projecting kindness and caring
Reflects back
Fading the suspicion and distrust.
I’ve read the New Testament—the story of Jesus and the beginnings of his movement. Many times.
One of the many lessons I learned from Jesus’ story was the futility of changing people’s hearts through laws.
Think through the stories of his interactions with religious people of his day. He would poke at the religiosity of their following their myriad of laws, yet the hollowness of their lives. Think of the cup brilliantly clean on the outside yet dirty inside.
The Civil Rights Movement of the early 60s formed my social and political thinking. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s speech about judging people by the strength of their character and not the color of their skin struck a harmonic chord with my early lessons about Jesus. It’s what’s inside that counts most—for me as well as you.
The Movement led to many necessary changed laws in the US.
Observing today’s social environment, the changed laws led to very few changed hearts.
The other day I observed that if all the spiritual study in the world doesn’t change the way you live, then that time was wasted.
What does it take to change a person’s heart?
So much hate spills out into our consciousness. Do people think that they can spew hate without consequence? It’s amazing how much energy we expend justifying ourselves.
Ponder this song from my youth:
Go ahead and hate your neighbor
Go ahead and cheat a friend
Do it in the name of heaven,
You can justify it in the end.
There won’t be any trumpets sounding
Come the judgement day.
On the bloody morning after
One tin soldier rides away.
(The Legend of Billy Jack, Peter, Paul, and Mary/Coven; author: peaceluvandbass)
You can study scripture as diligently as possible, but if it doesn’t change your behavior, then you have wasted your time.
I avoid political discussions as much as possible. People don’t like someone like me, someone who is an observer and sees both sides even while perhaps agreeing one way more than the other.
Axios CEO Jim VandeHei writing on the Finish Line newsletter offered advice recently for disaffected liberals and then for MAGA. Feedback from the MAGA group partly said that they have been put down for years with the cancel culture and inability to voice their opinions, so now that they are in charge, turnabout is fair play.
Nat Hentoff published a book many years ago called, Free Speech for Me But Not for Thee. He was thinking about a similar situation.
When we say, “I want justice for me; I don’t care about you,” then we have ceased speaking about justice. We’re talking about retaliation.
Retaliation is an honest human emotion. We probably all wish for some type of retaliation for those who have wronged us. Even to the feeling, “I should have said…”
Jesus had something to say about this topic (surprised?).
Love your enemies.
Even the heathen love their friends. But my followers are deeper than that. They can love their enemies.
Sometimes I turn to Rich Dixon for words of wisdom. He wrote, “People are hard to hate close up.” If I think in terms of a group, it’s easier to hate them. Then you realize that you have friends who sympathize that direction realizing that you love them.
Let me quote an American national document, “Liberty and Justice for all.”
I guess when I say “all” there, I actually mean, “All.” I guess that makes me strange. But I’ll own that.
I know a guy whose T-shirt reads, “Jesus took naps; be like Jesus.”
I can go with that.
Someone recently told me that his favorite divisive political commentator was like Jesus for he “tells it like it is directly.”
I wouldn’t compare any politician (choose your flavor) to Jesus. His message was to turn Roman culture on its head. Instead of every relationship being based on power, Jesus based relationship on love. Not sentimental love. Not necessarily tough love. But love all the same.
People who spread hate and divisiveness (choose your flavor) could use an infusion of Jesus’ type of love.
Can you disagree without being disagreeable?
Can you live without hate?
Can you accept that people are different from you?
I know it’s hard. Nobody said following Jesus was easy.
I know, logicians would be driven crazy by the logic of that title. Bear with me.
We are in an age where the natural human tendency to divide people into different groups is exacerbated by social media.
My undergraduate years were marked by the rise of a certain type of “feminism.” The theory was that females are innately better at certain things, say leadership, then males. Even though another part of the theory seemed to hold that biologically there was no meaningful difference. (I was confused in the late 60s—but maybe it was the times.)
Come to find out that people are people. Some people, male and female, can develop and lead organizations respecting and uplifting people; some people, male and female, cannot.
I have had the privilege of interviewing and meeting CEOs of multi-million dollar and even billion dollar companies. I worked with maintenance technicians who barely left high school with a diploma. I was pretty much as impressed with one group as the other. Each group had very smart people. Each group had people full of hot air.
I just left a software developer company conference. The place was full of engineers with a few marketing and business leaders thrown in. Everyone was gracious, patient, very smart. My conversations were enlightening and enlivening.
Think (and act) on these words of wisdom from the Apostle James:
“My brothers and sisters, do you with your acts of favoritism really believe in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ? For if a person with gold rings and in fine clothes comes into your assembly, and if a poor person in dirty clothes also comes in, and if you take notice of the one wearing the fine clothes and say, “Have a seat here, please,” while to the one who is poor you say, “Stand there,” or, “Sit at my feet,” have you not made distinctions among yourselves, and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my beloved brothers and sisters. Has not God chosen the poor in the world to be rich in faith and to be heirs of the kingdom that he has promised to those who love him? But you have dishonored the poor. Is it not the rich who oppress you? Is it not they who drag you into court? Is it not they who blaspheme the excellent name that was invoked over you?
You do well if you really fulfill the royal law according to the scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you show partiality, you commit sin[…]”
Far too many publicists have my email addresses. Some for my technology blog and some for this blog.
One publication publicist sent notice of a book on disciplines. Something like, Be Disciplined…Whose Disciplines?
It’s as if someone is forcing you to be disciplined. Or to follow disciplines.
The foundation of this writing builds from Spiritual Disciplines, or sometimes I say Spiritual Practices, because the word discipline can have a negative connotation. Like that book title.
We don’t talk about being forced to practice the Spiritual Disciplines. Now, if you decide to enter a monastic order, you have decided to follow the disciplines of that order.
But for you and me, it’s a choice. We get up in the morning and decide to sit in meditation and read from spiritual writing—or we decide to roll over and go back to sleep—or have a coffee and donut at the local donut shop and waste the morning.
The monastic example aside, you decide on your daily disciplines. Good night’s sleep, rise and meditate and read, exercise, eat a healthy breakfast, and so on. If someone tries to force you, it won’t work. If it’s your work or organization or church, leave. But listen to mentors and coaches who have your best interests in mind.
I encourage you to find your inner discipline. Don’t feel like a slave. Feel like someone who chooses to be healthy in spirit and mind and body.
We want to lose 50 lbs. We want to be fit. We want the spiritual formation of a saint.
We want a lot, and we want it now.
I only lost a pound this week. How am I going to lose 50? Well, a pound a week for a year will net that 50 lbs. And that will signal a lifestyle change that will keep it off. Celebrate that pound a week.
I want to be fit, yet I can barely get out of my chair and walk across the room. Go outside and walk to the end of the drive and back. Every day. Then to the end of the block and back. Then pick up some beginning resistance training exercises. Not a lot, but a little a week. Maybe today you lift 5 lbs. By adding a little at a time, in a year, you could be lifting 20 lbs. or more. Celebrate each small victory.
I want to be one of those knowledgeable and spiritual people. Begin with 5 minutes a day. Open a Bible and read a paragraph. Meditate on that paragraph. Perhaps over the course of a month or two you can do 30 minutes a day. And everyday you find one little act of service for someone. Soon you’ll realize that you are a kinder and deeper person. Celebrate each small victory along the way.
Small victories that accumulate lead to changes of life. We become what we practice.
These posts are always 300 words or fewer. I’ve thought so much and read so much on this topic that I’ve written more of an essay than thought.
Wisdom from my friend James (the Apostle) who writes words of wisdom.
“You must understand this, my beloved: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger;”
And again,
“How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire! And the tongue is a fire. The tongue is placed among our members as a world of iniquity; it stains the whole body, sets on fire the cycle of nature, and is itself set on fire by hell. For every species of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by the human species, but no one can tame the tongue—a restless evil, full of deadly poison.”
I have read much and thought long about the event and aftermath of the shooting of political influencer Charley Kirk. I had no idea who he was having decided not to follow these political influencers of any ideology. I understand what happens inside me when my emotions are stirred. I prefer a broad and reasoned approach to learning.
Two people whose works I read published blurbs about a side of Kirk not aligned with his public persona. But it’s the public persona that counts. I have learned through study of history and through observation that people who exist by inciting base emotions in followers seldom end well.
But today we have something previous decades, centuries, and indeed millennia didn’t—the ability to spread opinions and videos widely and almost instantaneously.
Cal New port earned a PhD in computer science, has written several best selling books found on my bookcase (Deep Work, Digital Minimalism, Slow Productivity), and is faculty co-founder of the Georgetown University Center for Digital Ethics. He’s been writing on this topic for several years.
His recently released a newsletter addressed many concerns that many have (including me).
Many of you have been asking me about the assassination of the conservative commentator Charlie Kirk earlier this week during a campus event at Utah Valley University. At the time of this writing, little is yet known about the shooter’s motives, but there have been enough cases of political violence over the past year that I think I can say what I’m about to with conviction…
This isn’t a one-off. It’s a situation encompassing some time.
Those of us who study online culture like to use the phrase, “Twitter is not real life.” But as we saw yet again this week, when the digital discourses fostered on services like Twitter (and Bluesky, and TikTok) do intersect with the real world, whether they originate from the left or the right, the results are often horrific.
He’s not pulling his punches here. And what do we learn?
This should tell us all we need to know about these platforms: they are toxic and dehumanizing. They are responsible, as much as any other force, for the unravelling of civil society that seems to be accelerating.
Since we know the evils of these platforms, why do they remain popular?
They tell a compelling story: that all of your frantic tapping and swiping makes you a key part of a political revolution, or a fearless investigator, or a righteous protestor – that when you’re online, you’re someone important, doing important things during an important time.
But the reality is…
But this, for the most part, is an illusion. In reality, you’re toiling anonymously in an attention factory, while billionaire overseers mock your efforts and celebrate their growing net worths.
What can we do?
After troubling national events, there’s often a public conversation about the appropriate way to respond. Here’s one option to consider: Quit using these social platforms. Find other ways to keep up with the news, or spread ideas, or be entertained. Be a responsible grown-up who does useful things; someone who serves real people in the real world.
To save civil society, we need to end our decade-long experiment with global social platforms. We tried them. They became dark and awful. It’s time to move on.
Enough is enough.
One of my sources for fitness and nutrition coaching comes from a team Arnold Schwarzenegger has assembled following his term as California’s governor. They publish the Pump Club newsletter and have an app. I use the app to track resistance training and nutrition.
Germane to this topic of social media is the carrier of said media—the smartphone.
They head one of the articles on this newsletter:
Having your smartphone nearby—even if you’re not using it—can reduce your brainpower.
Think that evil little thing is innocuous just lying on your desk?
Researchers examined if our phones drain more than just our attention when they buzz or light up. To test this, they conducted two experiments with nearly 800 smartphone users. Participants were asked to complete tests that required full attention and cognitive capacity—like problem-solving and memory tasks. The twist? Some participants had their phones placed on the desk, some had them in their pocket or bag, and others had them in another room.
I like the newsletter and app partly due to their reliance on real science.
Scientists found that the closer the phone was, the worse the performance. Those with their phones on the desk showed significantly reduced cognitive capacity compared to those whose phones were in another room. Even having the phone turned off and face down was not enough to prevent the drop.
It’s time for all of us, one-by-one, to leave the (un)social media behind. I deleted my Facebook and X (Twitter) apps a few years ago. I visit Facebook one time per day on my computer to wish friends a happy birthday and to see what’s happening in my community. I deleted the LinkedIn app. It’s getting almost as bad. I visit it once a day just to check in briefly—also on my computer.
We can all also be aware of the consequences of what we say—perhaps being a little kinder, more understanding, less vicious in our remarks.
Gary Mintchell
Faith Venture 