Posts Tagged ‘growth’

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Character Development

May 18, 2015

I spent all weekend at a youth soccer tournament. Players ranged in age from 8 to 18. Parents ranged in maturity from 2-yr-olds to mature. Typical spring in Ohio, as well as much of the US.

My job was to recruit referees and assign them to games. I devoted many hours last week doing both of those. 

During the tournament, I check to assure that all the referees showed up and to cover for those who didn’t. This was a great weekend. The only problem was one I created by not doing the proper math about when one game ends and when another begins and how far the fields were from each other. I started the game as referee and then turned the game over to the assigned guy. 

That’s because once the tournament play begins, I become the appeals court for referee problems. I travel from field to field watching and evaluating and giving tips for improvement to the entire group of referees. I also travel around settling disputes. 

Sometimes referees need some extra instruction. Or I have to move them around to avoid situations. Sometimes coaches or parents get into arguments and I try to settle things down.

It is a joy in life to contribute to the development of so many young people. I have devoted the last 25 years or so developing young referees. They may not always last as referees, but through the process, I try to teach them life skills of observation, decision-making, handling people, confidence, and communication.

The most gratifying thing in these tournaments is the development of coaching. Coaches used to know little about the game, didn’t teach anything during practice and then figured they could get the kids to do what they didn’t teach them simply by screaming at them–and at the referees.

Now, I see coaches teaching basic skills, then team building skills. They give instruction during the game instead of berating the kids. Sure, they get upset with some calls. We all do. Sometimes I do even when I’m evalutating a referee. That’s life. The bad coaches are becoming scarce.

We need to practice this same character-building effort in the rest of life. Is there a child or young adult who could use a mentor? Intentionally seek out people like that. Invite them for coffee or lunch. Build a relationship and nurture tham. I have few greater joys in life than seeing people grow.

Have you found a mentee today?

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Only God Can Label You

May 13, 2015

He was a quiet kid. Kept to himself. Freshman trumpet player in the university marching band. Away at band camp before school even started. Probably his first college experience.

We were in the same cabin. I was also a freshman, first experience away like that, percussionist. We shared the cabin with the drum major. Head guy.

He sensed a weakness, I guess. I only thanked God that it was the trumpeter he picked on. Labeled him a nerd. I guess that’s worse than geek. He was merciless the entire week. 

The trumpeter? He kept his head down and never said a word.

Labels that others give us can really hurt. They can also misdirect our lives.

Label someone as fat early in their life, and even though they may get fit as an adult, chances are they’ll always feel fat. It’s really hard to outgrow the hurts of adolescence.

I think it was third grade when they gave us some kind of intelligence test. I was clueless. All I know is that my parents got called to visit the teacher. When they came back, I had a label–smart. I’m still clueless. I’ve been trying to disprove that my entire life. <smiles> But that resulted in lectures every time I didn’t get straight As until dad gave up on me while I was in college. I never played the game to get a grade. I’d learn enough from the class and then go off and  study what I wanted to study. (And, yes, I did get a degree. The department shut down the graduate program before I finished my master’s work, and I never finished that. No need to have a paper.)

Yesterday I listened to Andy Stanley talk to a group of 8th graders about labels. He warned them about letting other people label you. What great advice!

We are children of God. That is the label God puts on us. We don’t need another. It’s hard to overcome a label that someone in authority puts on you–even if it’s just the drum major. 

By the way, I recommend listening to Stanley every week. I listen to Bill Hybels, John Ortberg, Gene Appel (when they load his talks into iTunes), Stanley every week. I also listen to technology news and other podcasts that broaden my experience. I recommend finding your favorites and listen to something daily for your growth.

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On Leadership–Placing Blame

April 24, 2015

The results were in. The project had “gone south” as they say. Actual numbers were far from projected. Team members were discouraged. Worse, they were scrambling to justify themselves by placing blame on others. It was as if a serious virus had invaded the body of the organization spreading disease and death.

Now is the time for the leader to step forward. Can she bring everyone together and salvage something in order to move forward into the future. After all, things fail. Not all projects are successful.

But the leader, oh what a narcissist or worse. The leader places blame. 

“If only the economy were better.”

“If only the designer had done a better job.”

“If only the sales people were better.”

“If only….”

How about–“I’m sorry I let people down. I failed to plan adequately. I failed to get the team working together. I failed to make decisions quickly enough.”

One of my spiritual mentors says that when things are bad there are two responses we should never make. These responses to suffering, failure, bad results will prohibit any further spiritual (or other) growth.

These responses are placing blame and festering in bitterness.

Experience comes from making bad decisions. Wisdom comes from learning from those bad decisions.

The leader could go to the team and own up to the mistakes and then leading a reflection on what went wrong in order to position the team (or committee, business, church, non-profit) for future success.

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What Is God Like?

April 21, 2015

“He is an old man with a long, white beard.”

“He is angry, vengeful, and if we don’t do the right things to satisfy him, we’ll go to Hell.”

“He is so full of love that he blesses everything and everybody.”

“She is the creator giving birth to the universe.”

“He constructed the universe and developed all the physical laws that run it.”

None of these, of course, can be found in the Bible without the use of much imagination. Jesus said Father. John said spirit and love.

The old man and many other myths come from the Middle Ages and its particular blend of fears and incorporation of pagan ideas into Christianity.

We must be mindful of how we come to God.

If our emotions rule us, they will construct a God in the image of whatever prevalent emotion we may have: fear, sympathy, love, disinterest.

If our intellect rules us, it will construct a God of distance, impersonal, giver of physical and other laws.

We work out our relationship with God bringing our whole self before the Father pleading for wholeness in our mind, body, soul. We move, as Paul put it, away from childish ideas about God. 

As in all relationships, this relationship grows over time. We discover more and more about each other. We grow closer, then more distant. We correct each other (well, maybe we don’t correct God, but we certainly try, don’t we).

Take care what rules us. Every morning ask for God to rule our emotions, thoughts, and actions during the coming day.

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Maintaining a Tranquil Mind

April 20, 2015

Everyone felt the stress deep inside. A large group of people needed to stay together as they navigated an airport in a foreign nation. None had been through that airport recently. But navigate they must in order to board the next plane taking them home.

The first plane landed at one end of the airport. The plane carrying the group over the Atlantic was scheduled to depart 50 minutes later–from the other end of the airport.

Some people in the group were reasonably fit and could make a fast walk/run. Others were challenged by one of a variety of physical conditions that would slow them down.

Upon arriving at the gate, which no one really knew was the gate, the group was divided and then shuttled from one queue to the next and back again.

At times like this, one needs to have practiced the wisdom of Proverbs so that it is deeply imprinted on the soul–“A tranquil mind gives life to the flesh.” (14:30)

We made it, of course.

And then made the JFK connection and arrived home safely.

I was part of a group that vacationed on a Danube River cruise from Nuremberg to Budapest. Ten days. Tired at that point. That’s why I reposted 10 days worth of blogs–which I guess didn’t get picked up by the email app. I’ll have to check that out. I tried to write ahead, but ran out of time.

International travel is a growth experience, if you choose to approach it that way. You pick up pieces of new languages. Experience other cultures. Learn that people are people no matter where you go. Good, evil, mostly good.

And with a little stress at the end, you learn about your character in the response to it.

This is where self-awareness enters.

I know that I can mostly maintain the tranquil mind. When things are out of my control and I have no knowledge of the system, I get quite snippy about perceived lack of good policy and procedure–especially at airports. But then I can settle back into the state of tranquility.

Nice to be home again. But I do miss Nuremberg and Budapest–two of my favorite cities.

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Leaders Build a Great Team

March 27, 2015

Good leaders build a product at a profit; great leaders build a great team.

A great team fits together seamlessly. Each member knows and is great at executing the assigned role. Yet, each member knows and believes in the goal of the organization. The leader need not look over the work of each member in minute detail. 

In this situation, the leader is free to fulfill the role of leader.

  • Reinforce the vision to avoid “vision leak”
  • Be aware of the “big things” so that the little things go the right direction
  • Encourage each team member in growth and development of skills
  • Groom the next generation of leaders
  • Watch the details so that actions may be taken immediately upon changes in external or internal environment

Have you ever been part of such a team?

If you have, you will never forget the feeling. You actually enjoy work. You enjoy relationships with the team.

I have been on both–this type of smooth functioning team and dysfunctional teams. But mostly the latter. So much so, that a friend suggested I write a book on dysfunctional leadership. 

Someone asked me recently about an area where I am leading currently. What should I be doing? I answered, finding a younger person to replace me and then mentor them to grow into leadership and commitment to carry forward (and grow) the mission that I’m on.

Organizing–that’s what I do. It’s second nature by now. Looking out at opportunities for new things–I think about that often. Finding and grooming  a replacement? That is my challenge.

Whatever your challenge–whether it be lack of sufficient trust in your team members to let them be free to do their jobs and suggest improvement areas and new directions or whether it is a state of mind where you feel compelled to watch over everyone’s shoulder–recognize that as a weakness. Then go to work on it. Find a coach to help if necessary. There are many of us out there more than willing to help people grow.

The world does not suffer from an overabundance of good leadership. There’s room for one more.

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Doing The Difficult Thing Adds Value

March 25, 2015

There are two types of organizations. Two types of churches. One assumes customers or members. Its leaders see their role as stewards of what is. Others believe passionately about their mission. Their products will change the way people live for the better. Their gift of spirit will lead people to better lives.

The first is easy. The second one often challenging. The first leads to the path of decay and organizational death. The second leads to energy, growth, kindling that passion in others…and others.

Seth Godin made his mark as a marketing guru in high technology. He wrote recently:

Of course it’s difficult…
Students choose to attend expensive colleges but don’t major in engineering because the courses are killer.

Doing more than the customary amount of customer service is expensive, time-consuming and hard to sustain.

Raising money for short-term urgent projects is easier than finding support for the long, difficult work of changing the culture and the infrastructure.

Finding a new path up the mountain is far more difficult than hiring a sherpa and following the tried and true path. Of course it is. That’s precisely why it’s scarce and valuable. 

The word economy comes from the Greek and the French, and is based on the concept of scarcity. The only things that are scarce in the world of connection and services and the net are the things that are difficult, and the only things that are valuable are the things that are scarce. When we intentionally seek out the difficult tasks, we’re much more likely to actually create value.

Think of his comment about raising money relative to your church or non-profit. I am. It is condemning of the approach I took over in my ministry. Buffeting from project to project. No real stability or plan for growth. No real involvement from the larger group. No commitment to the hard work of a sustaining ministry.

What is scarce these days is attention. I wrote yesterday about distraction. We have so much information–24-hour news channels, 24-hour sports, the Internet, apps, check Facebook every couple of minutes–when do we have time to put our attention, our focus, on what’s important?

What sort of leader are you? Do you need a kick start? Take time to focus our attention completely, if only for 30 minute time slots, on thinking about the long, difficult work? Or just slide along becoming ever more comfortable in a state of distracted disinterestedness?

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You’re Late

March 5, 2015

Let’s take a look at some personal disciplines that will help you become successful however you define it. And personal disciplines spill over into spiritual disciplines.

Here is a story from a business book I once read. It seems a young man had a promising professional/managerial job. But he seemed to be going nowhere. He wasn’t really motivated. The bosses seemed to forget about him when thinking about people with promotion potential.

Problem was, he was always late. He was late to work. Late to meetings. Late with reports. He was always frazzled, disorganized, fuzzy thinking.

Then one day he faced up to his problem and decided to change. He set the alarm to get up 15 minutes earlier. He got to work early and organized his day. He arrived early at meetings and was prepared for the discussion.

His demeanor grew calmer. He became more organized and confident.

It worked so well that he started getting up an hour earlier so that he could read things that filled his mind spiritually and intellectually.

He began to be the executive that no one would have ever imagined just a few short years before.

It all began when he decided to not be late all the time.

Changing just one bad habit can change your life.

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Where Does Lying Get You

February 11, 2015

I am in Orlando at a conference. It all started with arriving over an hour late–so in my room at midnight Sunday. Meeting early Monday. Reception until after 10. Followed by another early morning and late night. Now 7 am breakfast meeting. That’s the glamorous life of a writer traveling to a resort area on business.

Speaking of the glamorous life, I have been reading a little (very little) about this Brian Williams performance art and drama. As I get the story, he reported that he was in a helicopter in Iraq that was shot down. Now they say he was in the helicopter trailing and never went down.

Confusion? Lying? We’ll never know.

But that incident started a train of thought. Supposing he did lie. Supposing you and I have ever lied about doing something. Embellished a resume. Tried to impress a prospective employer.

In the end, what do we gain.

We read in the Bible, let your yes be yes and your no be no.

Say what you need to say. Sgt. Joe Friday, “Just the facts, Ma’am.”

If we let who we are speak through what we do, what does that say about our character?

As a writer and teacher, I’m always aware of the trap I can fall into. I can make my career sound like some exotic journey into great competence or I can make it sound like a series of steps where I learn a little at every stop along the way.

I try to be careful, and I hope I succeed. Maybe more of us should remember who we wish to be and act in accordance.

Or maybe we want to be a liar????

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Master The Art of Storytelling

January 8, 2015

When Jesus wanted to make a point, he told a story.

Yes, sometimes he did “wisdom” teaching putting a new twist on sayings from Proverbs. What you remember most are his stories. The lost coin. The lost son. The lost sheep.

There are people who bludgeon you with facts or “you should” statements. But if they would simply share their story, it would be more effective.

In my profession, I write a lot of “factual” stuff. News and analysis in the world of technology, manufacturing, automation. Yesterday, I was interviewing someone about a survey they had completed. They had sent a news release and I printed it with some commentary and analysis.

But while I was talking with Linda, she told the story about why they do these particular surveys, who the people are they talk with, how they collect the information. Then she told the story of three business owners/managers. The deeper she got into the story, the more interesting it was.

Part of the survey news was that a majority of owners and managers (perhaps almost all) of small manufacturing businesses believe that “millennials” have poor work habits and motivation. Most were “baby boomers” but one was Gen X–the so-called “slackers”. Go figure. People originally thought boomers would never work out. We were too self-centered and pampered. Remember that?

Well, we got to stories of owners who were doing something about the skill shortage and need to recruit engineers and skilled trades people. That is interesting.

I will follow up with more interviews and write the stories on my business blog, The Manufacturing Connection.

I am by nature and training analytical. So this blog is mostly analytical. Maybe a skill for me to hone this year is story telling. Maybe that would be a good skill for you to develop this year. Telling a story to make your point may be more persuasive and interesting than acting like Sgt. Friday–“Just the facts, Ma’am.”

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