Posts Tagged ‘decisions’

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Get Connected To The Outside System

August 27, 2014

Successful, or as the Bible says “fruitful”, people have the ability to see the patterns in their lives that don’t work. They go through the door and leave those old patterns behind to “Never Go Back” and get caught up in them. So says  Henry Cloud in his new book.

This morning as I was about to post to this blog, I had no connection to the Internet. I was cut off from the outside world, so to speak. I couldn’t post. I couldn’t check news. I couldn’t see what happened to all the soccer games where I’m responsible for the officials. I was disconnected. My post would be late–way late.

Let me tie these two thoughts together.

People get into a pattern of behavior. The pattern becomes hard wired in the brain. But…it is possible to change the pattern. You do have to go outside the pattern.

The Second Law of Thermodynamics says that  in a closed system chaos will occur. So, we need to become an open system to go beyond ourselves. We need to get connected to God. Then we can intentionally begin to develop new patterns to replace the old ones.

And that is just what successful/fruitful people do. They go out of the door and Never Go Back to the old, unsuccessful pattern.

This all leads me to some deep meditation, though. Several times in my life I have gone into business with men who were openly Christian. You know, they always  talk about it, they have tracts laying out, talk of going to church meetings, and so forth.

Every one of them owes me money. Every one of them backed out on his word. That’s a pattern.

Now, I’m about to make an investment into a company with avowedly Christian people.

Am I about to fall into the old pattern?

I think not. This time I have done much more due diligence. This time I have taken months to understand the situation. This time I think I got connected.

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Posted in Learning | 2 Comments »

Decisions Determine Our Life Story

August 21, 2014

God must be trying to tell me something. Three time this week so far the message “Your decisions determine your life story” has occurred.

What life story do you want to leave behind? Andy Stanley explored that in this week’s Your Move message. What do you want people to say about you years from now?

Every day you make decisions, large and small–mostly small, that determine your story. Did you decide to help or hinder? Did you decide to stir up trouble or to be a peacemaker?

Aristotle said that we are what we repeatedly do. He went on to say “Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.”

Did you know that the word “decision” seldom occurs in the Bible? I just looked it up. In the NIV, there were 27 instances of the word, and all but 4 were in the notes. Proverbs only uses the word once. But the entire book is about the effects of our decisions.

I’ve made perhaps four major decisions in the past year. One was on the whole not good–a business decision that caused me some amount of grief. But most of them have turned out well. They have determined the direction of my life for the next few years. And I’m happy with that. And I think God is.

But I wonder–what other decisions am I facing big or small that God is warning me about by putting that message in front of me this week? Or, maybe I’m just supposed to pass along the wisdom.

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How Far Can I Go Before?

June 6, 2014

How far can I go before it’s a foul? I teach the Laws of the Game of “The Beautiful Game” (soccer). My students are almost always people who wish to become referees. Sometimes it’s parents and players who wish to know more about the game.

Once I gave a presentation before a group of parents and players at a high school that was just starting a soccer program. There was very little experience among the entire group.

The boys kept saying, “All we want to know is how far can we go before it’s a foul.”

That statement reveals an utter lack of understanding about the game.

Christians can be the same. How far can I go before it’s a sin? How much sin is too much before God gets really mad?

Andy Stanley is re-running his “Guardrails” series on his “Your Move” podcasts. The idea of guardrails is that there are situations that occur in your life that should remind you to stay on the road.

Maybe I get myself into the wrong situation with the wrong people. Then that “uh, oh” feeling visits. That is a guardrail. I’ve gone almost to far off the road and I have been given a reminder to get back on the road before it’s too late and I get into big trouble.

In soccer, the referee watches the challenge for the ball. The two players are fending each other off. Then one gains an advantage by giving a push. “Tweet” goes the whistle. Everyone looks while the referee points the direction of the free kick that is given as the result of a foul.

In life, we don’t necessarily have that immediate referee (unless it’s a good parent or partner). We seemingly get away with a little foul. Then another. Then it’s our way of life. And we’re thrown out of the game.

We need to establish our guardrails to help us not get off into the danger beyond the road.

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It’s Hard To Focus On the Distant Future

June 2, 2014

Much Christian preaching involves the idea of “repent and someday you’ll inherit eternal life.” One of the study groups I attend has been working its way through the book of Revelation for the past eight months. They are trying to come to grips with the “someday the world will end” interpretation of the writing.

Daniel Goleman brings a wealth of science research into his writing and makes it both informative and approachable. “Emotional Intelligence” is my guidebook to emotionally healthy growth, right along with “The Ladder of Divine Ascent” by John Climacus, and early Desert Father of the church. Goleman’s latest book, “Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence”, includes a chapter discussing climate change and the trouble people have trying to be concerned about something where the results are far in the future.

It seems that our brains are wired to help us survive–but only from immediate danger. That would be the “fight or flight” response you’ve heard about. This is the most likely reason why public discussion about the climate has degenerated into polarized opinions rather than rational looks into the data.

I think some of the same brain physiology is at work in the “repent or someday you’ll go to Hell” evangelizing. That’s a someday thing that does not relate to our immediate survival.

It’s also a misreading of John, the apostle and writer. John is clear in his Gospel that eternal life comes to you the moment you believe. That moment is when we begin living in eternal life. Eternal life is not someday, it’s now.

We just acknowledge, “I was living like that, then I became aware that that life was not fruitful, so I decided to live in a different way as a follower of Jesus.”

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Gratitude Even When You Don’t Feel It

April 29, 2014

Some days, I just don’t feel grateful.

A long, long time ago when I first got into supervision in manufacturing, my boss told me that it would not be technical problems that ate your time and energy. It would be people problems. And it’s true. Everywhere I look recently, it seems that there are people problems blocking my path. Have several now.

I try to teach people about the value of mindfulness. When I sat in my chair this morning to meditate on this post, my thoughts went everywhere. No focus. No mindfulness. I’d come back to the present and then suddenly realize I was off thinking about something else.

There is a recurring to-do item in my Nozbe Getting Things Done planner (affiliate link) to make a list of people and things for which I’m grateful. I often ignore it.

That makes it even more important to my mental/emotional/spiritual well being to stop and contemplate all the blessings which deserve gratitude.

  • People who’ve come into my life
  • A meaningful ministry that can bring spiritual growth to many
  • Choices that led to a simple lifestyle that reduces financial worry
  • The ability to think and write
  • The ability to listen to God when He metaphorically kicks me in the pants and tells me to get over emotional despair
  • Opportunities beyond which I could never even dream as a kid in a very small town in a very rural area

Thanks for listening. What’s your list? Even just writing that list brought to mind many thoughts and prayers for each item. It’s good to make yourself stop in the midst of mental and spiritual distraction and make a list.

Now to go tackle those people problems.

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Doing What God Calls You To Do

April 28, 2014

The city was known for its violence and cruelty. Its treatment of outsiders was known and feared.

It had gotten so bad that God decided to act. It was either that the city, meaning the attitudes and orientation of all the people in the city, change its ways or it would be destroyed.

God called a man to take this message to the city. He went to the city and preached what we would call repentance. That means he called the people to change the attitude of their hearts from one of cruelty and violence to one oriented toward walking with God. This attitude would be reflected in the way that they lived, such that instead of a reputation for cruelty, they would gain a reputation as God-followers.

The man went, he preached, they changed. Great story.

Except.

The man did not want to do that. The city was his people’s archenemy. He wanted it destroyed and all the people who lived there.

So he did what anyone would do in that situation. He fled. He ran away from God. But God cannot be escaped. He caught the man and pretty much forced him to go to the city and preach. And the man was successful. The city and all the inhabitants repented and changed their ways. God did not destroy the city. The man sat outside and pouted. He wanted destruction. God wanted a right life.

The man’s name was Jonah. God caught him with a fish who grabbed him and took him back to the land. The story isn’t about the fish. The story is about repentance. About how God wanted everyone (not just the Hebrews) to repent and follow Him. It’s also a story about call.

Do you feel a call. It weighed on my soul for a long time that I should have a ministry. Didn’t know what it would be. I thought I knew. But then came a call. Actually, I was called for the same ministry many years ago. Said I couldn’t do it. God waited. He struck. I’m stuck.

How about you? What is weighing on your heart? Or maybe it’s a clear voice that you’re trying to ignore. Don’t ignore. In the end, God wins.

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Willpower Is Key To Success

March 26, 2014

There was a child, a marshmallow, a closed room, and a promise.

This was an experiment a couple of decades ago where a researcher curious about willpower brought a child into a room. A marshmallow was placed on a table. The researcher stated he would have to leave the room, but he would return in 15 minutes. The child could eat the marshmallow, but if the child did not eat the marshmallow, then he/she would get two marshmallows upon the return of the researcher.

Some ate the marshmallow. Some didn’t.

A follow up on as many of the children as they could find after some 20+ years revealed that the children with the willpower to delay gratification were generally more successful in life than those lacking that one strength.

Daniel Goleman writes about this research in one chapter of his latest book, Focus. It turns out that willpower is more effective a predictor of a young child’s (ages 4-6) success in life than is social class or IQ.

How did the children who succeeded in resisting the temptation do it? They diverted their minds. Those whose thoughts dwelled on the marshmallow, ate it. Those who started singing a song to themselves, or talking to themselves, or played make-believe–in other words, those who diverted their thoughts from the marshmallow–were able to resist it.

Two takeaways.

If you are a parent or grandparent or otherwise can influence a child. Teach them to divert their thoughts to something else instead of continuing to focus on the errant behavior.

Or, for you…when your thoughts start to focus on something you’d rather not think about–be it that donut that is now staring at me as I write this or some worry or anxiety–start to think about something else. The willpower lies in intentionally (yesterday’s topic) choosing to think about something different from the negative thought. I first noticed that I did this myself over 40 years ago. I testify that it works.

Help a kid. Help yourself. Learn how to develop some willpower.

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Misinterpreting Requests

February 17, 2014

I was perhaps eight or nine. On first base in a Little League game. Don’t remember how that happened, since it was not a common occurrence. The next kid hit a pop fly. The coach (my dad) yelled, “Tag up.” Well, I knew to go back to the base and wait. So, I interpreted that as “tag up and go.” So, I did. Got thrown out at second. Dad asked what in the world was I thinking. I said, you told me to go.

We were discussing the story of the wedding feast in Cana as told by John. Mary, being one of the few people perceptive of other people’s situations, noticed that the wine was about gone. That would result in humiliation for the bridegroom. She knew that.

She asked her oldest son (or only son if you’re Catholic, but we won’t go there) to do something.

At this point, we all know the story, so we assume that she meant for Jesus to perform a miracle. Someone suggested, we don’t know what she had in mind. Maybe she just meant for Jesus to gather his new friends and run to the store and buy some more. The writer never says.

We just know that Jesus interpreted it as a strong request to perform a miracle. He said, “Woman, my time is not yet come.” Weird comment.

But then he began issuing commands. He took charge of the situation. Mary tells the others to do what he says (good mother, she is).

I love theology and literary tricks. I take the miracle from that point of view that Jesus, whether he knew it there or not but probably did, changed water meant for Jewish purification rites into Communion wine (you saved the best wine for last, said the steward to the bridegroom, surely an ironic statement). A different sort of purification.

But what if it all started because he thought his mother meant one thing, and he interpreted it as another?

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Set Your Path For the New Year

January 2, 2014

New Year’s Day coming on Wednesday really screws up a week. Normally there are several days strung together where I do year-end analysis (of myself and my businesses), prepare for tax season, and think about my direction for the new year.

This year, I worked on Monday and most of Tuesday. Here it is Thursday morning, and I’m going to spend most of the day on normal work.

I just read Andy Stanley’s book, “The Principle of the Path,” and my small group is studying the letter of James. As I contemplated these this morning, I found some parallels as I often do.

The principle of the path, to unjustly summarize, basically builds from the idea that you do something (consciously or re-actively chosen) and that starts you down a path of life. It may guide future decisions.

James follows a lineage of thought that is sort of, “to be is to do.” That is, the word “faith” does not mean a principle to which I agree with in my head (logically) or feel is write in my heart (emotionally). Faith is more of an action verb than it is a noun.

Back in my days of singing folk songs and campfire songs with my beat-up classical guitar, there was a song we sang called “Love is Something You Do.” Same idea.

Jon Swanson asked his readers for goals or words for the year. I don’t really choose goals in the usual sense or have a theme word for the year. But thinking about his question, I decided this year should be one of focus and energy. I got too diverted into too many things in 2013 and my energy sapped at times.

But as a disciple of Jesus, I feel more like it’s a “put one foot in front of the other” sort of thing. Where faith is choosing the path and assuring that each decision and action continue me on the path this year. Living consciously and intentionally.

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Posted in Attitude, Disciplines | 1 Comment »

I’m Doing a Great Work

December 30, 2013

I’m Doing a Great Work

“I am doing a great work, and I cannot come down.”

What is your great work for 2014? Can you see it in your mind?

Nehemiah saw a problem that troubled him greatly. His brother returned to Susa in Persia where Nehemiah was an official in the Emperor’s office with disturbing news about the state of affairs in Jerusalem–the ancient capital of his people.

He prayed and meditated on the problem for several months and came to focus on fixing one big thing–rebuilding the walls of the city. In those days, cities of any importance at all had walls. Jerusalem’s walls had been in shambles ever since the Babylonians had conquered the city some 100 years before.

One day while he was supervising the rebuilding of the walls, his enemies sent a message requesting a meeting in a village down on the plain. Nehemiah responded, “I am doing a great work, and I cannot come down.”

This year’s work

This is the time of the year for reflecting upon the past year and resolving to do better next year. I will adjust my schedule at the gym to allow for an influx of optimistic people next week. My Yoga class will double in size for the month of January.

People will make resolutions to lose weight, get fit, be healthier. But they won’t focus on the great work, and they’ll quit.

What is your great work for the coming year? Define it. Write it down and keep it in a place you’ll see daily. For in the coming time, every day you must make decisions–almost hourly–that will determine the outcome of your great work.

Do you need to have a better relationship? Deal with an alcohol or other addiction problem? End a toxic relationship? Start a new ministry? Define it, pray and meditate on it, ask God to bring people into your life that will help you.

My great work

Last year at this time, I heard Andy Stanley of North Point Ministries teach on this verse. I also read Henry Cloud’s book “Necessary Endings.” A friend had advised me to pray intentionally for God to bring people into my life.

Also last year I had been praying for God to open up some sort of ministry and to deal with a toxic relationship that I had found myself in. And to bring new people into my life.

It was an interesting year. I ended the toxic relationship, started a new business, accepted a request to re-start a ministry at church and started the process of turning around another business and to buy it.

My great work this year is to digest all that, achieve focus and purpose on each, and make them all successful. At the core, I pray to become a better communicator.

What’s yours? Are you stepping out in faith?

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