Posts Tagged ‘attention’

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Copy The Right Master

December 27, 2013

Yesterday, I wrote about human development. How we learn from copying the master and then incorporate those learnings into our lives so that we can then create within our own personality.

What about choosing the right masters to copy from? That is important for art, but even more so in spiritual development.

Jesus is such a hard model to follow. He was so perfect. He could do things that we’ll never do. On the other hand, he taught in the tradition of creating disciples. These are people who follow the master and try to emulate him. In certain Jewish religious circles even today you will see men wearing clothing of a certain style. This is the style of clothing that their master (teacher) wears.

What do we do to look like our teacher–Jesus? I am more and more convinced that the main point of the Bible story is to teach us how to live your lives. Jesus spends very little time talking about heaven. He spends almost all of his instruction time on how to live.

He’ll answer such things as how we treat other people, upon whom do we focus when faced with decisions (hint: God), how we manage our resources, how to teach, what to teach, how to bring healing to people.

People will say, “I believe.” Maybe they will even say, “I believe in my heart.” Jesus would say, “Fine, but what about that decision to spend money on another new TV rather than provide help to the homeless?” Or, “How about the way you treated the people you met today?”

It boils down to whether we focus on what God would have us do or whether we settled for satisfying our own pleasures or wants. It’s whether we model our lives on the way Jesus lived or on a rock star.

Choose your master consciously with discernment.

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Making a List And Checking It Twice

December 6, 2013

Remember the song about Santa? “He’s making a list and checking it twice. Gonna find out who’s naughty or nice.”

Bet you’re making a list this time of year. Present for Johnny, present for Sue, present for spouse, present for me, too.

I like Jon Swanson’s daily meditations, 300 Words a Day. Someday when I’m making the trip from Sidney, Ohio (with an “i”) to Chicago, I should set an appointment just to meet him. I drive past a couple of times a month. He has written a book about Nehemiah, Great Works, available on Amazon. I have purchased it ($4.99) for my Kindle reader on my iPad just now. Looking forward to reading it.

Jon says in yesterday’s blog post that he was afraid that it might become just a list. Well, lists are not all that bad. One of my favorite writers, Umberto Eco, wrote a book about lists and says that the ability to make lists was essential to the development of civilization. Ben Franklin was a list maker. David Allen, author of Getting Things Done, proposes that we make several to-do lists (one for when available to use the phone, one for when running errands, one for when we’re online, etc.). I am a disciple of GTD, use a software application called Nozbe, and fail to refer to my lists often enough 😉

Lists are how you organize yourself if you are busy like I am (see yesterday’s post). One key is to know your “one great work” and key your essential to-do items to point toward accomplishing your one great work.

Andy Stanley made a verse from Nehemiah one of his key verses for personal life and teaching his children. While Nehemiah was organizing the people for the rebuilding of the walls of Jerusalem (financed by the country now known as Iran, by the way), his enemies invited him down to the plain for a “diplomatic discussion.” Nehemiah replied, “I am doing a great work, and I cannot come down.”

Nehemiah teaches us great lessons. What is your great work? Figure it out and then start making lists.

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Posted in Disciplines, Faith | 1 Comment »

The Still Point

November 14, 2013

Someone once asked how I come up with these thoughts. Some are derived from reading or listening to teachers. Some from news or observations. And then I think about the idea and try to relate it to a deeper teaching.

Focus is the  hard part. Last week I traveled three days beginning with a 6 am flight which meant rising at 3:45 in order to shower, pack my laptop bag (aka briefcase in the old days) and drive to the airport. On that trip I arrived at the destination, met my colleagues, made some sales calls, had a business discussion over a long dinner, and then get to my room after 10 pm. Up early for meetings, driving around, another business dinner.

It’s about the same this week. Now, it’s four days in Houston rather than three in Philadelphia.

I’m not looking for sympathy. I chose to do these trips. When I’m home, I have a normal routine which includes 15-30 minutes of quiet time to read and contemplate. Sometimes on business trips, I don’t carve out the time. It is a failure of focus.

This morning I decided to carve out some quiet time. When I do that, my body slows down, my thinking slows down, and I can focus on a topic. It’s all about focus and attention.

T.S. Eliot, a quite misunderstood poet, wrote in Burnt Norton (one of the Four Quartets) about the still point–at the still point of the turning earth, there is the dance, and there is only the dance. Eliot was a contemplative and understood the value of slowing down, focusing, achieving that still point.

Today, I switched my focus to, well, focus itself. I became close to the still point. The day will go much better because of that.

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Curiosity Is a Good Thing

October 28, 2013

We took our young grandchildren to the zoo Saturday and then on a walk along a river on Sunday. Such unbridled joy at learning something new, explaining what they already knew and curiosity about everything. Wooly worm caterpillars, crickets, grasshoppers, snakes. And that was just the walk.

People were curious about Jesus. Who was this guy who healed people and confronted the establishment? But many were merely curious without the learning part. Many combined curiosity about how to live in God’s Kingdom–enough so that they started a movement. We are the beneficiaries of that movement today.

I think about the people to whom Paul wrote his letters. Many were curious about the contents of his strange message. Some became teachers and leaders. But they remained curious. They accumulated many questions to bring to him for guidance and instruction.

There was Timothy, to whom Paul wrote at least two letters. Epaphras of Colossae who probably instigated the letter to the Colossians. They were curious people who let their curiosity lead them into learning and eventually understanding and then leadership.

Do you take a walk and just walk? Read and then forget? Watch TV endlessly?

What joy to discover the wonders of nature just where you are. To learn a new concept or idea. To learn about new people.

Curiosity is just asking questions and discovering. Knowledge comes from seeking answers to those questions. Then thinking about those answers. With a mind open to the possibilities of wonder, knowledge, growth.

I far past 6 years old, but I’m still curious about just about everything (except pop culture). How about you? Time to kindle that flame of curiosity? Time to learn and grow?

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Seeing Without Observing

October 10, 2013

Most people seem to go through life seeing, but not really “seeing” or observing at a deeper level. Normal human condition is one of near total self-absorption. People see others mainly in relation to what their impact is on them.

I have seen parents who see their children, not for what they are as unique individuals, but more as an extension of themselves. 30 years of refereeing and coaching soccer (plus living through being the parent of an athlete and not always being the perfect example of the right way to be) has given me perspective on the whole “living life through your kids” syndrome. The same works for the famous “stage mother” type.

Seeing without observing causes one to miss opportunities to serve and to miss nudgings of the Holy Spirit. You don’t really see the person who needs help with a load. Or the person with troubles. Or the person who is rejoicing and appreciates when someone notices and rejoices with them. Or when the Spirit nudges you toward saying something meaningful to another.

Jesus seemed always to be aware of everything going on around him. This doesn’t mean that he didn’t pray for his own situation–obviously he did. But look at the number of times he was aware of what the Pharisees were saying about him. About the time the woman knew she would be healed if she but touched Jesus’ robe–and he felt the energy. He didn’t wander around absorbed in his own thoughts. He was always watching people.

We must also be careful about looking to Jesus as an example. John Ortberg taught last Sunday on the book, “Zealot.” I had not heard of the book, but it’s another in a long line of books saying basically that Jesus was not who we think he is. Rather, he was just another man in a long line of failed Zealots. Ortberg takes the author to task much better than could ever do. Click the link and find the sermon podcast. Well worth a listen.

During the talk, Ortberg mentioned that often when someone writes about Jesus, they are really describing themselves. That is, the don’t really look at Jesus, but at what they like and make Jesus fit the mold. I realized that years ago, and try hard to discern the real Jesus–as well as the real Paul. We all confuse them so much with what we’d really like for them to be and say.

But that’s part of observing. Sometimes it takes a long time to finally figure it out. A long time to realize your own prejudices in how you observe.

A daily discipline is to clear your head every morning through silent meditation for even just a few minutes and ask God to help you focus on others, not yourself.

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Posted in Christianity, Listening, Relationship | 2 Comments »

Make Rules or Make Disciples

September 23, 2013
Division like fractals

Mandelbrot fractal image. From Wikipedia.org

We took a vacation last week. My wife’s family gathering. We worshiped in a church of a different denomination than the one we attend. It’s a southern-based, conservative off-shoot of another denomination.

Reminded me of the years I taught a course on American Baptist history. How there was Roger Williams, then Northern Baptists (now American Baptists) and Southern Baptists. And then they split like fractals.

Sometimes these divisions are based on worship style. Some like the solemnity and mystery of high Mass. Others prefer jeans and T-shirts, guitars and drums, hands waving in the air celebration. As for me, I like almost any of the styles.

Most of the divisions are created by rules. We created organizations called churches or denominations. They had to have rules. Then someone said, “I don’t like your rules. I want to make up my own rules.” And off they went. We still do that today.

It is as if Jesus said, “All power in heaven and earth has been granted to me. Go, therefore, and make organizations with individual rule sets around the world so that you can worship God with those with whom you agree.”

But, wait, Jesus didn’t say that. He never spoke about organizations other than to point out the problems with the one religious organization he knew–the Temple worship cult. And he didn’t like it.

What he said was, “Go…and make disciples. Teaching them what I have taught you.” Making disciples–that’s a one-to-one thing. Not a political thing. You model Jesus so that others can model Jesus by modeling you. It’ not rocket science. But, it requires intentional living.

And the organization thing–that’s a human condition. How many divisions of Judaism are there? Islam? Buddhism? Hinduism?

It’s time to focus on the Lord who showed the way. Not on divisions. Divisions detract us from placing our entire attention on God.

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Having the Right Heart and Attitude

August 29, 2013

Isaiah is almost sarcastic at the beginning of Chapter 58:

Yet day after day they seek me

and delight to know my ways,

as if they were a nation that practiced righteousness

and did not forsake the ordinance of their God;

they ask of me righteous judgments,

they delight to draw near to God.”

I added the italics on “as if.” That phrase reveals the points to come. The people say they seek God, but there is something wrong. Wonder what it is?

“Why do we fast, but you do not see?

Why humble ourselves, but you do not notice?”

So the people are also asking of God what’s wrong. In our terms they are saying, “We go to church. We donated to the church. Why does it seem that you are against us?”

Look, you serve your own interest on your fast day,

and oppress all your workers.

Ah, now we have reached the point that God charges against them. Two points really. First, when they “fast” or worship, their attention is not on God. It is on themselves. They fast only to serve their own interests. Then look at the last phrase. We’ll study more on that later. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a spiritual teaching that does not also include a moral teaching–a teaching on the way we treat other people. Those seem to go hand-in-hand.

“What is the greatest commandment?” asked the teacher to the Teacher. Jesus replied with the Shema about worshiping the Lord. Then he said that the second commandment was as important as the first–to love your neighbor as yourself.

These people were thinking of ways to take advantage of people in their community even while worshiping God. This is abhorrent to God, the God who wanted to build a community focused on Him.

When I teach the Spiritual Disciplines, I always begin with the proper attitude. Simply practicing the Disciplines will do you little good. It begins with the right attitude.

Same with leadership. Beware this judgement of Isaiah in your practice of leadership. Take care of your attitude.

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Getting Things Done and Keeping My Sanity

August 21, 2013

Getting Things DoneThis time of year is always the busiest and most hectic for me. In business, I’m gearing up for the fall travel season plus planning for the next year.

I’m very involved with soccer and have been the referee assignor for 25 years. Practice for teams start at the beginning of August. I have almost all my games assigned for the year by then. Suddenly plans change. Referees drop games. Schools add games. I just went from needing to fill only 6 games to 21 games in the past three days. (OK, to my friends in Toledo, Columbus and Dayton, only 21 games is almost heaven, I know.)

I try to research and find topics 4-5 days a week for this blog. I have a business blog–The Manufacturing Connection–from which I derive a little income. I have several writing gigs.

Not to mention a new ministry leadership position in the church.

Getting Things Done

At times the workload seems overwhelming.

Then I take a deep breath. Maybe a walk around the block. Then tackle the list one thing at a time. Soon, I’m back in control, and much work gets accomplished.

I follow David Allen’s Getting Things Done (GTD). And I use a Web-based application called Nozbe to help follow the methodology.

This approach of living only in the present (that is, not worrying about tomorrow–see Jesus for advice); taking a few deep breaths to relax, then tackling the to-do list from most important (not urgent!) down, is how I’ve survived over the years. Try it.

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Avoid Confusion and Distraction

August 14, 2013

BikepathI’m reviewing my notes from Henry Cloud’s Boundaries for Leaders for something else I’m writing and these words attracted my attention. “Set limits on confusion and distraction.”

In this book, he meant that organizationally. As you organize your company, department, ministry, family, assign tasks and responsibilities and hold everyone accountable for their actions and results.

Assigning your children tasks to help around the house at an early age with no thought of pay teaches them responsibility, accountability, and focus. These are life skills that will help them throughout their lives no matter what happens. My capitalist friends may cringe–thinking that everything must have a monetary reward–but they would need to calm down a little. Even economists will occasionally talk about intrinsic rewards.

Do you lead a group in either a marketplace company, a nonprofit agency, a church or volunteer organization? Think on these things. Think about each person–their tasks, responsibilities and desired results. Clearly state to them, ask for response that these are understood. Keep people focused on what is important.

This works for yourself, too.

What about you or around you contributes to confusion and distraction?

  • Not sure about your goals
  • Messy desk
  • Sloppy recordkeeping
  • Too much social media
  • Thinking you’re the exception to multi-tasking blues
  • Too many goals
  • Inability to say “No”

Now is the time to work on your own confusion. Eliminate distractions when you think or work. Organize your workspace. Organize your house. Organize your daily routine.

I often talk about Spiritual Disciplines (or practices). Adopt a couple of crucial ones. Every morning get up 15 minutes earlier than now so that you can spend time reading The Bible or other Spiritual book. Then spend some quiet time in prayer and meditation–even if it’s only 5 minutes.

Begin your days focused and organized.

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Recognizing The Emotions In Others

August 8, 2013

Have you ever thought about buying a car? You drove to a dealership of a brand you think you might like. You walk over to the line of cars and start looking around.

Then–a salesperson approaches. Big smile. Looking for a car? He breaks the ice. Then he proceeds to tell you all the features of the car and the price, which is only $X.

How do you feel?

A few times in my business career I have been in sales. For the past 15 years or so, I go along on sales calls to provide technical support or perhaps be that person who describes all the features. In fact, only recently I was on another sales call. Many times I have been shocked to watch the interaction and see that the salesperson has never taken the time to know the person we are meeting with and what her needs are.

Or sometimes even watch the prospect. I left a sales meeting one time with a top sales person and told him, “He’s ready to buy.” My friend was shocked. “What?” I said, “Didn’t you watch him while you were talking? He stopped being preoccupied. He asked questions assuming he was already installing the product on his machine. And many other buying signals.”

Observe the other person

These sales people are not unlike us. We are more interested in what we are saying than we are in the other person. But the fourth step of gaining emotional intelligence is recognizing the emotions in others.

One must be very careful here. It is far too easy to miss an emotion. Maybe the anger masks insecurity. And maybe we try to psychoanalyze. We must be observant. Turn the focus on the other person (not on us). Ask, “What’s up?” Then, listen.

  • Watch (observe) the other person
  • Ask questions in a friendly manner (not like a lawyer cross-examining)
  • Listen (really listen) to what they say verbally and physically
  • Paraphrase back to show you were listening and to validate their worth

I am still amazed at how many people are mostly focused upon themselves. Most are good people. They don’t realize it. They may even think that they are focused on the other. But they’re not.

Try it. You’ll learn a lot. And maybe make some new friends.

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