Extending Courtesy

October 6, 2014

Did someone just cut you off in traffic? Did someone just pause to let you in line (maybe traffic or at the grocery or something? When’s the last time that you held open a door for someone–especially someone struggling with bundles or small children?

I hit one of those opportunities this morning on my way to the airport. A truck was entering I-75 from one ramp as I was about to exit to the next street. I could have increased speed (by a lot) to cut in front of him. But I slowed down to let him enter and I exited behind him.

The thought came that the cost to me was only about 10 seconds. I was going to have about an hour before my flight boarded, no reason to rush.

Once, almost all truckers were courteous. These days, don’t expect it.

I see other examples of rudeness in my travels. There are many examples of courtesy, too. I was traveling a week ago last Friday when the contractor started a fire that evacuated the FAA tower in the Chicago area. People by and large were not irate. Many were courteous to their fellow sufferers.

A pause and a smile can make someone’s day. Look for the first opportunity to be courteous today. That sets the tone for the rest of your day. And you might even fool your neighbors into thinking you’re a nice person!

Temple, Exile, and Messiah

October 3, 2014

Temple. The Jewish writers who chronicled the time of Solomon talked of the Temple filled with the glory of God. It was also affiliated with a king who ruled over a not-insignificant empire.

But the lineage of Jewish kings was weak. They strrayed from their God. The nation was defeated by the Babylonians and the Temple was destroyed. The people went into exile

We’ve read about Ezra and Nehemiah and the rebuilding of the Temple under the Persians. But writers never referred to that Temple as filled with the glory of God. And it also never signified the seat of a powerful King.

I am 40% through book one (out of two) of N.T. Wright’s, “Paul and the Faithfulness of God.” Three chapters. Almost 300 pages. So far we’ve gone through the background scholarship and worldview of the times. Already I’ve learned a lot.

By the 200s BC, there was a tremendous longing in the Jewish people for return from exile, a Temple filled with the glory of God and a strong political leader–just like the times of Solomon. Several men claiming to be the Messiah of God appeared. They all failed and died.

Then comes Paul who reinterpreted the entire scenario in light of Jesus.

That was from Wright. Now I’m contemplating what is to come. The Temple is no longer a building where God lives. Our bodies are the Temple where the glory of God lives.We are in exile through sin and find a Messiah who reveals God’s grace

And Paul went back to all the many Scriptures that pointed out that salvation was not only for the Jews. But that they were to be the light to the world. The guides toward God’s salvation of the world.

With that legacy, why do we not try to re-connect with that God. To seek his indwelling Spirit through reading His Word and prayer?

Trust As Faith Foundation

September 30, 2014

Yesterday I was meditating upon why it is that some people display such insecurity and lack of confidence.

Then I listened to Andy Stanly discuss trust as a foundation.

When Moses led the Hebrews out of Egypt, he faced the leadership challenge of introducing a people who had known only slavery for 400 years to freedom. He had to form a nation. At every step of the way from God’s first call to Moses to his entire leadership God just told them, “Trust me.”

The introduction to the 10 Commandments and then the first Commandment dealt with trust. “You shall have no other Gods before me” and “I am the Lord your God”.

It important that we come to deeply understand and feel this presence of God. Through this we should be able to gain confidence and trust.

How do we get to that point if we are not already there?

  • Read, study, meditate on the Bible and other spiritual writing
  • Spend time daily in silence focusing on God and inviting God’s presence
  • Join a community of worshipers for celebration, worship and support

Daily Spiritual practices will get you back on track if you have slipped off the rails. They will also fortify and deepen your existing faith.

Why Are Some Of Us So Thin Skinned

September 29, 2014

Where I grew up, if you were quick to take offense or if you were sensitive to critical comments or opposition, you were called “thin skinned.” The idea is that an emotionally healthy person develops a “thick skin” to ward off opponents’ comments.

What puzzles me for most of my life has been the thin-skinned nature of so many American Christians. They are always looking for ways they are being “persecuted” or for signs they are not in the majority (hint: this type of Christian is not in the majority, but living in a rural area, I know many).

They are not really being persecuted. Not like the Christians living in many lands these days. Or even like we persecuted black people, native peoples, Jewish people, Catholics (yes, they were a persecuted minority for a long time in America), and “foreigners” (even unto this day).

It’s almost like an attitude of weakness, not of strength. I remember being 9 or 10 and reading and hearing about the Soviet Communist menace. And how those godless atheists were going to take over the country. And I remember thinking, if our God is that powerful, why do we fear those who have none? Why do we think they will be able to do away with God entirely.

Christians for the first 300 years of the movement lived as a minority in every city in which they existed. They learned to live amongst those whose beliefs were different. That didn’t stop them from worshiping their God through the revelation of Jesus. In fact, the way they lived was so powerful that the very way they lived attracted others to them

When one of the plagues swept Rome and the brave, strong men all fled to the mountains in terror, Christians stayed behind. They came out from their hiding places and helped the sick and dying. Once again, the way they lived even as a minority among pagans attracted many to Christianity. That time became one of the fastest growing in the movement.

I follow a powerful God. If I’m not in the majority as a Jesus-follower, even in America, that just puts me in the company of much of the movement. I wish my fellow followers had such confidence.

Jesus counseled us not to worry. We just go about our business of living correctly in the Spirit. I’d advise reading not only the Bible but also stories of the early church. Take advice from how they lived.

I wish my friends would concern themselves with how they live their lives and not worry about whether everyone around them agrees with everything they believe. Show by your life the power of God.

Are You Emotionally Intelligent

September 26, 2014

My recent reading has turned up some new thoughts on emotional intelligence. I thought I would focus on two traits this morning. Self-aware and Empathetic.

I think these go together.

To be self-aware means that we can see ourselves as others see us. I can still remember one of those experiences when I was perhaps 11 or 12. I was doing one of those “boy” things and had a vision seeing myself from the outside. And how stupid I was. There have been other occurrences since I provide plenty of stupidity times.

A good time to actually try to do this is while in a queue at an airline counter when all the flights are cancelled. You see yourself being less than kind to the poor gate agent–the only person who can help you.

This leads to empathy–a trait lacking in the narcissistic among us. Seeing the whole incident from outside ourselves, so to speak, allows us to see the other person as a fellow human being with feelings just like us.

A narcissistic person (one who is self-absorbed) will tend to look at the situation as one where someone else can help me or hinder me. An empathetic person begins to feel what the other person is going through. Our feelings mesh with theirs. It’s not just about us anymore. It’s about us.

Just today someone told me about a terrible hurt from an incident of many years ago. It still hurts. It hurt me to think about it.

Perhaps today we can try self-awareness and empathy. Life is so much better that way.

Pervasiveness of Bigotry

September 25, 2014

“Think not the bigotry of another is any excuse for your own.” — John Wesley

I’ve been a member of a Methodist (now United Methodist) church for most of my life. But they don’t teach Wesley (one of the founders of the movement) as much as they used to. Probably part of the blending of overall teachings, I guess. But there is much to learn from Wesley’s example and his teaching.

This week I was in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. I’m not sure what the status of race relations is these days in the state that was once a symbol of the “Old South.” A startling revelation came upon me Monday. Where are all the black faces?

A restaurant we visited had a black girl as a hostess who seated customers. I’d swear that I heard a different tone of voice from the hostess when she said Miss so-and-so or the black girl was seating someone. I didn’t think about it at first. But the tone sort of laid half-formed in my brain.

Then we went to a show. Out of probably 1,000 people there, perhaps 5 were black. No performers were black people. Then I looked around. At the resort I saw perhaps 3 black families.

Within the past month, I’ve also heard comments about the Spanish-speaking people trying to come to the “Land of the Free” and work their way up a ladder that so many of us take for granted. The tone was, shall we say, not that of a sincere Christ-follower. The tone of those who labored with Paul to bring all the disparate cultural elements into one common fellowship.

I was made fun of for my civil rights views in the late 60s in my home town. Later I realized what a fool I was to drive to Louisiana through Mississippi in 1970 with an equal-rights decal on the car. Back then I’d have hoped for better understanding among the races and ethnic groups than I see today. It’s severely disappointing.

Where did we go wrong? Or lose our enthusiasm? However, let’s let Wesley’s words guide us.

Traits for Success in Life

September 23, 2014

Part of my daily morning routine is scanning some news and a variety of blogs using Feedly on my iPad. One blog I’ve followed for several years is Lifehacker.

Recently it ran a post based on a TED Talk that I had not yet heard about results of research into traits of successful people. From Lifehacker:

Lecturer Richard St. John traveled around the world for ten years to conduct face-to-face interviews with successful people like Ben Cohen of Ben & Jerry’s, Bill Gates, Arianna Huffington, James Cameron, Matt Groening, and even Dan Ackroyd. The list of successful, influential people he interviewed goes on and on. After analyzing everything he’d learned, he come up with these eight traits:

Passion: Love what you do.
Work: Really hard.
Focus: On one thing, not everything.
Push: And keep on pushing yourself.
Ideas: Come up with some good ones.
Improve: Keep improving yourself and what you do.
Serve: Serve others something of value.
Persist: Because there is no overnight success.

Somehow I think that most of us could have compiled this list with a little reflection. Contemplate on these virtues. No matter where you find yourself, isn’t it great to meet people with passion for what they do? Those whose orientation is to serve others?

But think of the trait of constantly improving yourself. This is a lifelong journey. Never stop growing. Never stop improving.

Like this list? Have others? Let me know. This is a great list to put in a journal or on a card by the computer to refer to occasionally just a a check up on how we are progressing on our journeys.

I’m Wrong And I’m Sorry

September 22, 2014

Five words that every leader show know and use. Indeed, five words for us all to use appropriately.

“I’m wrong, and I’m sorry.”

When is the last time you heard a leader, especially a political leader or a church leader or leader of a large organization, say that publicly?

They almost always say, “I made a mistake.” And that’s it.

Sorry should always imply a repentance. An acknowledgement that I was going down the wrong path, that I see clearly that I am on the wrong path, and that I have decided to travel on the right path.

I have read in developmental psychology, but I can’t remember everything I’ve read. I do know children for whom the phrase “I’m sorry” has no meaning except maybe “Please don’t punish me.”

It is true that words can be used with no emotion behind them. So, we, the ones who have been offended, have only to wait and see if there was true repentance and change of heart, or if it was merely a use of words because the PR people said you’d better use them.

Last Friday I happened to be by a TV when the commissioner of the National Football League, or the National Felons League as a friend of mine puts it, finally had to face the public music.

Suddenly the cover over the actions of the athletes who participate in a sport made increasingly violent by people like the Commissioner was blown by one, then many, stories about domestic violence. The Commissioner initially made a pathetic statement that entirely missed the target. Then he went into hiding.

Friday, he came out to say something. He began, “I was wrong, and I’m sorry.” His media relations people learned the lesson of appropriate language. Now we’ll see if he has truly repented.

But how about us? How often do we use the words to get ourselves out of a jam? How often do we repent, ask God for help, and try again to get on the path of walking with Jesus? These are important questions to reflect upon daily.

Happiness

September 18, 2014

How do other people affect your happiness? Do you know what makes you happy?

John Ortberg has a series going on the subject. He mentioned last week quoting Dallas Willard that happiness (like the other fruits of the Spirit) is a condition, not an emotion.

Emotions come and go. If I am in a state of being happy, that is a condition that is more of a permanent part of my life.

On the same day, I heard Ortberg talk about how comparing ourselves to others is a great way to disrupt your happiness; then I read Leo Babauta talk of how social media can exacerbate the tendency to compare ourselves to others. We see people seemingly living good lives by watching their Instagram or Facebook posts. We think, they must be happy. That makes me unhappy.

Last Sunday, our pastor talked about how good it makes him feel after a service when people come up and compliment him. But, if one person criticizes, he feels bad for the week. He probably exaggerated, but it’s a true statement for all of us, right?

So, I pondered the question, how do other people affect my happiness? Or, better, why do I let other people affect my happiness.

Instead of being jealous at their success, try rejoicing with them. They may not be as happy as one Facebook photo may suggest. Maybe they need a hug.

My happiness comes from being grounded in the Spirit. But sometimes I do give people the power over my happiness. Then I recognize it and move on.

Prayer Is Not Difficult

September 17, 2014

Jude, the next-to-last book in the Bible, warns us about the dangers of trusting and following the wrong people. The writer advises prayer as the answer to building us up and keeping us on the right path.

When I first started on the meditative path many years ago, I was frustrated (I guess like the disciples) about the supposed lack of teaching about how to pray and meditate in the Bible. We are instructed to pray and to meditate and contemplate the Word.

Jesus went alone to pray, but we know nothing about his usual prayers. He did teach one time on the subject. The answer was not to pray like the religious people with big words and gestures and spectacle. He said to go by yourself and pray simply. He gave an example which we have turned into ritual–the Lord’s Prayer (or the Our Father).

This is basically just a conversation. Simple words. From the heart.

Last week at Willow Creek, Bill Hybels taught on the scene from ancient times when Elijah challenged the priests of Baal who had captured the official religious life of Israel. The priests of Baal prayed by shouting, dancing, cutting themselves. Elijah prayed just a simple prayer.

Sometimes in prayer, our focus may wander. So, we may repeat a phrase. Maybe one of the phrases of the Lord’s Prayer. Or a favorite verse. But this can be continually simplified.

It’s like when I first learned guitar after having been a percussionist. My friend said, remember that just two notes can be a chord. Just so, you can go to just one or two words. I repeat the word “God”. Others make like spirit. Or love. Just by sitting (or standing or walking or lying) and focusing on your word can calm your thoughts and cause you to enter into the presence of God.

Then you can focus your heart on what matters to you at the time. Even without words. Just focus on others, your ministry, yourself, whatever is a burden at that time.

Prayer is both simple and powerful. Try it sometime.