Weak Leaders

October 21, 2014

Weak leaders

Weak leaders rule through fear. Other weak leaders fail to lead.

There is a leader who likes to keep everyone guessing about where they stand. He moves people to different positions continually in order to keep them off balance.

This leader has a few favorites. They know it. This breeds internal dissension. There is no team. No coordinated moving toward a vision. There is only keeping your head down and hoping not to be noticed.

There is another weak leader who actually is not a leader. She may have the position, but she refuses to guide the team. She lets them go wherever they may. Some of the followers are frustrated by lack of team. Others are happy to be left alone to do their own thing.

Similarly, there is the leader who cannot make a decision. Things are always unsettled in the organization because no one knows the direction they are going.

Strong leaders

Strong leaders cast a vision of the meaning and purpose of the organization or team. Strong leaders guide the members of the team in growth and direction as a skilled horseman can guide a horse with the most subtle of touches with the rein or knees.

Strong leaders grow other leaders. They counsel and mentor helping the leaders under them to grow strong as leaders. She provides correction as necessary in order to keep the organization moving in the right direction. And everyone adding to the success of the mission.

Strong leaders do not let followers flounder in loss of direction.

Strong leaders devote much of their focus and thoughts on others on the team.

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Paul Wants Unity Among Christians First

October 20, 2014

“For you were called to freedom, brothers and sisters; only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for self-indulgence, but through love become slaves to one another. 14 For the whole law is summed up in a single commandment, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” 15 If, however, you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another.” Galatians 5

For some reason I’ll not understand, I woke up this morning thinking about this play on words–we Americans, we might live in the “United States”, but we’re not very united on much of anything.

In my study of Paul, I’ve been reading about how much Paul wanted his small groups he called ekklesia to be united in spirit. He wrote so much about that. About the hands and feet not battling each other, or the eyes and ears not trying to dominate each other in the body of Jesus.

Now he was writing to groups of maybe 10-15. They weren’t going to gather 500 in a house. Besides, if they did, the Romans would have pounced immediately.

But even these groups were in danger of splitting. A new person would come to town. Charismatic, with new ideas. Called Paul “out of it.”

People would gather for a holy meal in a somewhat small room (at least by contemporary American standards), yet would have all manner of problems–the wealthy wanting to go first, separating into smaller sub-groups according to wealth or status of one sort or another.

I remember talking with a woman about church many years ago. “Oh, I could never go to your church. The people are too wealth. They’d never accept me.”

But even more–instead of gathering to worship and praise God and care for one another, we criticize and gossip and break into groups. Leaders stop leading caring for other things. Or just their own status.

We think it’s freedom to go our own way. Do our own thing as we said in the late 60s never thinking about how that would go on to corrupt our society.

Freedom, Paul says, is the ability to serve others. Don’t use freedom for self-indulgence. Use it to bring others into the group. To care for those in the group. To worship God with prayer and song and teaching.

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Love Discipline Love Knowledge

October 17, 2014

Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge
But whoever hates to be rebuked is stupid.

Psalms 12

The story I received as a young person was that the Methodist Movement was so named by the habits of the founders. It seems that while at the University, John Wesley and his brother Charles and a small group of friends arose early every morning to study and pray. They were “methodical” in their approach–hence, methodists.

Story after story can be found of people who became dissatisfied with the direction of their lives (rebuked comes to mind) and decided to change. They began getting up earlier in the morning so that they could study and pray.

“Fifteen minutes in the chair” is a phrase famous among Willow Creekers. It comes by way of one such man who was convicted of the way his life was going. He began getting up early, sat in his favorite chair, read from the Bible, and prayed. He grew in knowledge and wisdom. The change was noticeable.

I’ve heard of men whose careers were going nowhere. They were frustrated. Disillusioned. Then they got up 15 minutes earlier than normal to read. Then the 15 became 30. Then an hour. And the discipline changed their lives and their success.

It is perhaps time to pause and reflect. When is the last time we felt rebuked by God for a pattern of life that is leading nowhere? When is the last time that we changed what we were doing or what we were thinking because of a rebuke from God (or from someone speaking for God at that time)?

Forget the early bird versus night owl stuff. It’s all a pattern of life. The real pattern is to practice discipline and gain knowledge. And with knowledge, wisdom.

Where is your chair?

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Prayer–Slow Down and Listen

October 16, 2014

“Most conversations are a monologue with witnesses.” (Attributed to Mark Twain.)

Is your prayer life like that?

Yesterday I wrote about meditation and contemplation. The foundation of both is to slow down our busy brains and focus. The direct or indirect focus is on God.

Jesus showed his followers an example at the Temple one time. There was a religious man standing in a conspicuous place praying loudly so as to assure that everyone knew that he was a religious man praying. Then there was a “sinner” who was kneeling alone apart from others, praying. Jesus said that those who pray with many fine words get their reward there. The other man got his reward from God.

Even if you don’t practice daily meditation or contemplation in the strict sense of the words, it pays great dividends to pause and sit quietly between all the words you say.

It’s not that it’s wrong to pray in words. Or to pray publicly when the occasion warrants. But as a daily practice, praying with no more words than necessary to the One who knows already what’s on your heart is much more freeing. Then to stop and listen heaps benefits upon the soul.

Often when I pray alone, I sit in silence and just picture the person or situation in my mind and focus my energy and attention on them. My heavenly Father knows. I’m just adding my spirit. Focusing on others.

It’s OK to focus on yourself, too. Just not exclusively. Once again a friend told me of the power that has come to him simply by praying that God lead someone into his life. Trust me, it’s uncanny.

I can think back over the past years of my life and identify many times when God eventually answered my prayers-usually when he knew I was ready and that the proper opportunity was presented.

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Meditation and Contemplation

October 15, 2014

The Website Lifehacker recently published a post on the Myths of Meditation exposed. It started my thinking about how confusing the terms can be in this era.

We have ancient sources on humans practicing both meditation and contemplation. The Bible, especially in the Psalms, talks about meditating on God’s words and contemplating God’s wonder or mystery.

There is a rich Christian heritage of contemplation including some of my heroes such as St. John of the Cross, St. Teresa of Avila, John Climacus and many more.

Then the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, guru to the Beatles, helped popularize an Eastern form known as Transcendental Mediation. But that method actually invaded Europe and America by the early 1800s. Alan Watts and others popularized a form of meditation in the Buddhist tradition of Japan–Zen. That was a Beatnik thing (if you remember them).

If you have looked me up on LinkedIn, you’ll have noticed that I describe myself as a “contemplative Christian.” Contemplatives try to “empty” our minds typically by focusing on something such as a word or a scene (out in nature for example) and experience God. There are many writings of people who have experienced God in this way. I have had that experience a few times. It is unforgettable. The apostle Paul also writes about a contemplative experience he had.

Meditation typically is focusing on something to change the body or learn something. In the TM tradition, there are areas of the body known as energy centers (chokras) that are the source of a particular energy plus the universal energy center at the top of the head. Each of these “chokras” has a unique sound that helps the meditator focus on that particular energy.

So the energy center at the top of the head, the universal one, has the sound “Om” that you’ve probably heard of. Business people are taught that the seat of strength and power is the gut and the sound is “Ram” (pronounced with the soft a as in European languages and not the short a of English). You focus on the center and recite the “mantra” associated with it as you sit quietly. (Incense and gongs are optional.)

In Christianity, we might read a story in the Bible, my favorite is the road to Emmaus, and focus on the story. Sitting quietly, play the story over in your mind. Maybe making yourself the “fly on the wall” listening in. Maybe taking the place of one of the pilgrims and asking Jesus what he means.

Don’t get carried away by the terms or worry about them. Or be concerned that you’ve become “New Age.” Any time you stop, slow down your thinking, and focus on God, it’s good. Both meditation and contemplation are good for both your body and your soul.

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Be Assertive But Kind

October 14, 2014

Proverbs 11: 16b-17 draws two pairs of contrasts. But the pairs also contrast.

The first pair is timid and aggressive. To be timid is a negative attitude and stance toward life. You let things happen to you. To be aggressive (I don’t know Hebrew, but today we might well call it assertive) is to go out into the world making things happen

The other pair is kind and cruel. Kind, of course is the positive attitude and cruel is the negative.

So Proverbs, Wisdom teaching, tells us that we should be strong and go out and accomplish, but we should do it in such a way as to not trample down others doing it.

This sounds much like the teachings of Jesus, who took most of his teaching directly from Proverbs, who expected people to be strong, to be aggressive. But at the same time he taught that we should put others ahead of ourselves. We should think about the other person in the relationship or the situation. What’s in it for them–not what’s in it for us.

We have had cycles of preaching throughout the 2,000 years of Christendom that has told people, especially poor people, to be timid, meek, humble (in the sense of servitude, not the sense of strength yet putting others before us). That teaching has led to some horrible revolutions in the past. It’s a teaching ignored by the terrorists who call themselves part of Islam.

Is it an attitude we have? There are many today who believe in aggressive in its negative connotation and cruel, at least in attitude toward others. I’ve met several.

I pray we cultivate having a strong personality–one that’s so strong and confident that we can gladly put others before us.

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Perception and Reality

October 13, 2014

“I liked it better out there. The skies are always blue. Here, the skies are always gray.”

Talking with an acquaintance the other day.

Of course, she returns to Ohio in the changing seasons. We get a lot of cloud cover from fronts and changeableness. Some geographies have pretty much the same weather year around.

But is her observation the reality? Is your observation reality? Or maybe your perception creates your reality?

Supposedly this story came from Carl Sandberg, but I heard it through Earl Nightingale.

Seems a farmer was standing by his field leaning on a fence post contemplating the crops and the weather when a stranger drove by and stopped. “What sort of people live around here?” the stranger asked.

“what sort of people lived where you are from?”

“Well, they are lying, cheating, miserable people.” “I expect you’ll find the people around here the same way.”

Second stranger comes by. “What sort of people live around here?” “What sort of people were there where you’re from?” “Well, they are honest, hard-working people.” “I expect you’ll find the people around here to be the same.”

The point, of course, is that our perceptions often cloud our view of reality. Just look at politics. If you are hard-core whatever, you’ll interpret all events through that filter.

When you can throw that filter away and see reality, then you can start to grow.

That’s one goal of meditation. To calm the mind and begin to focus just on the moment. Only as things are.

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The Power of Suggestion

October 10, 2014

Do you ever notice how your attitude or focus can be altered by the power of a suggestion from someone?

Since I spend more time than the average person on an airplane, and since boarding and deplaning are stressful situations, these are great times to observe people–including my own feelings.

Yesterday I flew from Orlando to Houston. Long story, but I’m a session chair for the process control track of a conference of the American Institute of Chemical Engineers. I go home tonight.

It’s Orlando. Lots of families. It’s Thursday evening. Lots of business travelers heading home from conferences. Houston is a hub. The plane is packed. Packed plane means fighting for overhead bin space for all your carry on stuff-especially your “roll aboard” suitcase.

(I made the week-long trip with only a backpack to cut down my stress.)

The first thing I notice is courtesy. The first people to get on–do they try to cram everything they have in the overhead so that they (so they think) have more leg room?

I was among the early boarders. But there was a couple in my row. As I looked at the bin not sure that my backpack would fit under the seat, I noticed the bin was full. Two roll aboards and a couple of big bags of some kind. OK, I’ll just try to stuff it in the smaller area of the aisle seat. I look down. There is nothing under the seats of my row-mates. I find I can cram the backpack in the spot. No problem. But I notice I have become a little annoyed at the young couple beside me.

Later, guy comes in who is in the bulkhead row across the aisle from me. There is no overhead space for rows. He looks around somewhat annoyed and frazzled. He spots an opening in a bin in first class. Goes up and stuffs his backpack there. Goes back to his bulkhead row in economy plus.

Flight attendant comes back and says (as close to a direct quote as I can remember), “I hate to do this to you, but I need the overhead bins in first class for first class passengers. I see an open spot just behind you. Could you move your bag?”

Guy shrugs and complies. Then a guy in his row says, “Boy, she was really short with you.” The more he thinks about this, the more incensed he becomes. I can see the rising anger.

He stops the flight attendant. “What’s your name?” he demanded. “I’m sorry, I don’t give that out. I was stalked once by a passenger,” she replied. “What’s the matter?” “I don’t like the way you treated me and I want to report you,” he replied. She asks why, a little shocked. She’s one of those bubbly friendly type of people who probably would never consciously provoke anger in someone.

Here is the situation. High anxiety (everyone is worried about overhead bin space). I am inconvenienced. Someone says something. My annoyance escalates. I create a scene.

It is times like these when we all need to learn to take a deep breath. Gain perspective about the big picture. Shrug it off. Be glad I got on and the plane was early and my baggage survive.

Oh, yes, I did that to calm my annoyance. After all, I was settling in to read “Paul and the Faithfulness of God.” Wouldn’t have been much of a witness if I had used my power of suggestion on the couple beside me, would it!

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Teach Your Children Well

October 9, 2014

OK, so the song by Crosby, Stills and Nash is one of my favorites (although I never got the sheet music and added it to my repertoire). In this 60s song, one verse says parents teach your children well; then in typical fashion for the times, it flips it over and tells the children to teach your parents well.

This week my travels took me again to Orlando and another engineering conference. A friend of mine put together a session on transferring engineering and process knowledge from the aging baby boomers to the new millennial generation. His co-presenter was not only young but also female. She has a BS degree in Chemical Engineering, is 29, and a staff engineer for Eastman Chemicals Co.

Their topic was learning styles.

Collaboration. Younger people are much more collaborative than we were when I was learning engineering. We were given tasks by the almighty and all knowing manager, and we went out to do them. Because knowledge is more easily found on the Web, young people don’t look to their superiors (organizationally speaking) as the fount of all possible knowledge. They look at them as mentors and coaches who collaborate with them and teach how to approach problems.

New data sources. They have books on iPads, smart phones to look up things on the Web and to text peers to find answers to questions.

Conclusions. What surprised me in the session which was well attended by a mixture of ages was the attitude of several of the older engineers. “Well, if they get all knowledge from the Web, will they have any depth? Any problem-solving skills?”

In this case, they all have college engineering degrees. An engineering degree is primarily a course of study on problem solving. Depth comes through experience. If the guy would mentor a young person, then growth happens.

So, I’m thinking about this paradigm in relation to other organizations. I’m not a youth pastor, but are they able to incorporate this collaborative learning style and mentoring capability? Today’s crop of younger pastors tend to be more “teachers” than “preachers.” People don’t like to be preached at, but most people enjoy learning new ideas.

The weird thing is that even though I am technically a “boomer,” I’ve never felt like one. I’m much more at home with the style and thinking of the millennials. I hope more people of my generation can adapt and help bring the new generation along–whether it’s engineering or become a disciple of Jesus.

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Acting On What I Know

October 8, 2014

Paul, in one of his most complex yet simple passages, talked about how he found himself doing what he knew he shouldn’t be doing.

Every once in a while I perceive a person or situation and get a strong feeling that something isn’t quite right but then proceed to get involved anyway. It has happened in business a few times. I know that there is something wrong with the person I’m dealing with or the situation is too vaguely defined, yet I do what I know I shouldn’t do.

That just happened to me yet again. I knew better, but for a few emotional reasons, continued on. Then it didn’t end well.

Sometimes that feeling occurs in ethical situations. Or relational ones. I know that I shouldn’t go there. Or say yes to someone. But I do it.

I guess while pondering this, I don’t feel alone. If someone with the stature of Paul could struggle like this, then I’m not abnormal.

The key thing is that we reflect on those circumstances. Then we learn to recognize as quickly as possible the mistake and take immediate moves to correct the course.

Ending relationships, even dysfunctional ones, is always the toughest. No parting is smooth. But many are necessary. Looking back over the past 20 years of my life, I can see where the temporary tension of leaving an unhealthy relationship contributed to my health and growth.

Perceive, recognize, act.

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