Archive for the ‘Living’ Category

Lessons for Life

April 3, 2024

Some Wednesday thoughts during an April (snow) shower.

Eating:

Emphasize vegetables over meat

Vinegary foods over salt

Whole fruit over juice and sugar

Chew more and swallow less

Eat food that looks like food and fewer ultra processed snacks

Health:

More sleep, Worry less

Laugh often, reduce anger

Act more, talk less

Give generously, reduce wants

Take long walks in nature

Walk more, ride less 

Resistance train, less time for social media

Read more good books, less time for social media

More good conversations over coffee

Slow Down, You Move Too Fast

January 10, 2024

Apologies to Paul Simon and his 59th Street Bridge Song:

Slow down, you move too fast

You got to make the morning last

Just kicking down the cobblestones

Looking for fun and feeling groovy

Paul Simon, 59th Street Bridge Song

We have laptop on the lap. Amazon is so easy. Instead of getting off our butts and going to a store like millennia of shoppers, we click and buy. Next day, delivery.

I cannot for the life of me fathom why a 55-and-older community has so many people in a hurry. But as I go out for morning exercise, I cannot believe the number of speeding cars who also have not enough time to stop at a stop sign.

I just listened to an interview with Michael Easter, author of Scarcity Brain: Fix Your Craving Mindset and Rewire Your Habits to Thrive with Enough. He talked about staying for a while in a monastery and again staying with natives in the Arctic. He learned to slow down. Then he felt much better—mentally and physically.

Once I rushed everything I did. Perhaps it was Chicago traffic that helped cure that inner urge to rush. If you can’t go anywhere faster than 5 mph, then you just turn on some good music and chill.

Paul Simon had an image of just kicking down the cobblestones on the approach to the 59th Street Bridge in New York. We all need an image of slowing, taking it easy, feeling groovy. We can get our work done without raising a cloud of dust—and anxiety.

Deliver Us From Evil

November 17, 2023

…Deliver us from evil (or deliver us from the evil one). — Jesus on prayer

I was in high school thinking through my newfound stance on pacifism encouraged by my reading of the words of Jesus. I have a fuzzy memory of sitting on the front porch of the house of a couple of girls I knew. Probably I was there to talk to one of them. But I was a socially awkward geek. My memories are of talking with their mother. She asked pointed questions probing the various ramifications of a pacifistic life orientation. We had to my mind great and meaningful conversations. 

Some who adopt an orientation toward peace forget that Jesus tells us, as if we couldn’t figure it out on our own, that evil exists.

He told us to ask God to deliver us from the grasp of evil.

Most of us can manage to wander through life without coming face-to-face with evil. That is a blessing. Many cannot. It can intrude at the most unexpected times and places. Maybe from friends and neighbors we have known for years.

We can debate theology, but that leads nowhere. The foundation question concerns how we respond. Do we let evil become our master and respond to evil with evil? 

Maybe we allow God to deliver us—maybe by providing the extra strength we need to confront evil and conquer it.

When we are living with God perhaps we are infused with trust that we can respond to each situation as God would have us—seek peace, confront with strength. And also ask for discernment so that we don’t mistake someone’s angst for evil and respond wrongly.

Giving and Receiving Grace

November 6, 2023

I have been able to discern through the practice of many spiritual disciplines that God comes to us through grace, or maybe more understandable (less theologically laden) we can say kindness. Some say forgiveness. I like kindness. God extends it. We humans can accept it, or not.

Accepting it, we can begin living with-God. Jesus called it living in the Kingdom of Heaven. It starts with the realization and acceptance that there is a God, and that God offers a better way to live. No rules, no judgement. God tried that rules thing (614 plus additional ones in the Hebrew Bible and Jewish 1st century practice?). 

Sounds simple. Why do we complicate it?

Unfortunately for us, it doesn’t stop there. It’s not all about you (and me).

Living with-God having accepted God’s grace, we must extend that grace to others. Responding to those who are injured and hurting; giving with a generous heart; having conversations with (not at) people showing care; practicing active listening. 

Thinking we can live within God’s grace and not share it is like that light hidden under a basket or being salt without savor. Pretty much worthless.

Perform a thought experiment. What would your household, neighborhood, community, nation, world be like if even half of us practiced sharing grace?

I Want What She’s Having

September 25, 2023

The scene in the movie When Harry Met Sally when the title characters are at lunch and Sally fakes the sounds of having sex and the two older ladies at the next table put down their menus and tell the server, “I want what she’s having.” That little throw-away joke stuck with me. 

“I want what she’s having.”

Almost 50 years ago a small group of people set out to build “a church that unchurched people would like to attend.” Willow Creek Community Church started a movement across America, and perhaps the world. It was OK to play rock music in church. Before long it was disparaged as a “rock concert followed by a TED Talk.” But thousands still attend this type of church. I’ve even attended one in Mexico. Lively. Enthusiastic. Some places have been just pure performance, though. Professional musicians with a teacher with an ego.

What has been the impact on individuals, though? Inquiring minds would like to know.

I have been imagining, “What if we built a community that people outside said, ‘I want what they have.’ “

It wouldn’t have to be thousands in one location. That would probably be self-defeating, since it would be so easy for someone to be anonymous, to get lost in the crowd.

Maybe smaller gatherings that spread? People just meeting Jesus, studying what Jesus taught, practicing the life that Jesus exhibited for us. The enthusiasm of serving one another and the community. Has that been done before?

Well, yes. Read the first few chapters of the Acts of the Apostles.

Media celebrates big numbers. Fantastic growth. But what if we got the growth part backwards? What if our job is building community? I don’t know. Just wondering.

Fail Well

September 18, 2023

Seth Godin, entrepreneur and acute observer of life, wrote, “I’ve been doing it wrong all along This is one of the great benefits of learning. It’s also a common challenge. When we get better at something, it is preceded by a moment of incompetence. In that moment, we’re not exactly sure how to do it better, but we realize that the way we’d been doing it wasn’t nearly as useful.”

Often we humans are resistant to acknowledging we have been wrong and that change would be a good thing. Reading Thomas Merton this weekend, I saw, “A humble man is not afraid of failure.”

Godin proceeds with an example: It can be something prosaic–I learned last week that I’d been preheating my dosa pan for too long, and that’s why (paradoxically) they weren’t becoming crispy. Years of consistent behavior overturned in one moment. Or it can be something more profound, changing our perceptions of others and ourselves. If you need to be proven right, learning is a challenge. If you’re eager to be proven wrong, learning is delightful.

This fits with a podcast I heard last week from Guy Kawasaki’s “Remarkable People.” He talked with Harvard Business School Professor Amy Edmondson. Her latest book ‘Right Kind of Wrong: The Science of Failing Well,’ describes three kinds of failure. 

  • The good kind of failure, which I call intelligent failure. We can call a failure intelligent when it is genuinely novel territory. We are in pursuit of an opportunity. We’ve done our homework, we’ve thought about what might happen, and we’ve designed a test of that hypothesis and finally, the failure is as small as possible to still be able to learn from it. You don’t want to make bigger bets than you have to in uncertain territory.
  • The other two kinds of failures we do want to prevent. The simplest kind of failure I call a basic failure, and it’s basic because it has a single cause. That single cause is usually human error. I put the milk in the cabinet instead of in the refrigerator and the milk spoils, so that’s a basic failure. That’s one that’s pretty trivial, but it’s one that happens because we’re not paying attention or we’re not maybe trained in an activity that we’re trying to do, we haven’t had enough training, we haven’t done our homework, what have you. Those are obviously not worth celebrating.
  • The third kind is what I call complex failures and they are, as the title suggests, multi causal. They generally happen because of a complex mix of factors. Some of them external, some of them internal. They come together in just the wrong way to produce a bad outcome. A supply chain breakdown during a global pandemic is a complex failure. The supply chain has struggled to deliver the goods and services that needed to because of a combination of things, people sick and not able to come to work, a shipping route’s being disrupted, storms that might happen and exacerbate the whole thing.

Are you leading an organization or only your life. You try something, it fails, you learn and move on. Some you are just not paying attention. Maybe more training would help. Some are from a system. You must periodically review your systems and see if they are still your servants—or are you their servant.

In Pursuit of Virtue

September 8, 2023

The realization hit me squarely in the face. Recent reading seems to return to the theme of virtue. Christian reading. Reading from the Stoics. General reading.

Virtue.

I’d like to believe I lead a life of virtue. Don’t you? Wouldn’t it hurt if someone told us, “What you just did was not virtuous.”

Me, being me, wondered, what does it mean to be virtuous?

One of my bosses told me many years ago that everyone knew who the good teachers in the school were even though you couldn’t quantify it. He was an engineer. That’s an amazing statement from a numbers-driven person.

Perhaps virtue is similar. We all know a virtuous person even if we can’t really define it.

But, that doesn’t help us. When we leave our beds in the morning (or whenever you happen to rise), how are we going to behave starting then in a way that could be described as virtuous?

I’m not a fan of lists. Especially lists of rules we need to follow. Sometimes, though, a list can spur our thinking. Beginning a list of 20 thoughts about a topic can lead to a breakthrough idea. I offer this list from Benjamin Franklin, yes that guy whose face adorns the 100-dollar bill. He was a fan of checklists and introspection. He had a checklist of these virtues that he would use to measure his day every evening.

This list comes courtesy of Wikipedia.

  • Temperance: Eat not to Dullness. Drink not to Elevation.
  • Silence: Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself. Avoid trifling Conversation.
  • Order: Let all your Things have their Places. Let each Part of your Business have its Time.
  • Resolution: Resolve to perform what you ought. Perform without fail what you resolve.
  • Frugality: Make no Expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e. Waste nothing.
  • Industry: Lose no Time. Be always employed in something useful. Cut off all unnecessary Actions.
  • Sincerity: Use no hurtful Deceit. Think innocently and justly; and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
  • Justice: Wrong none, by doing Injuries or omitting the Benefits that are your Duty.
  • Moderation: Avoid Extremes. Forbear resenting Injuries so much as you think they deserve.
  • Cleanliness: Tolerate no Uncleanness in Body, Clothes or Habitation.
  • Tranquility: Be not disturbed at Trifles, or at Accidents common or unavoidable.
  • Chastity: Rarely use Venery but for Health or Offspring; Never to Dullness, Weakness, or the Injury of your own or another’s Peace or Reputation.
  • Humility: Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

Why Do We Seek?

August 14, 2023

The topic of today’s fitness newsletter was the editor’s observation of the varying goals people have written to him about fitness and nutrition. He asked, Why do you work out? Why an hour a day on a fitness bike, or lift weights, or go out and run daily?

A friend told him once when asked why he spent an hour a day on the exercise bike, “To be lean and mean.” Really? “Well, actually to look good to women.” 

That may sound trivial, but not really. It was motivational to get him up and exercising every day. 

We grow from those first motivations into more mature and sustainable habits.

I ask you, “Why seek a spiritual life?” 

I think I was influenced by the Zen movement of the 50s. The Beatniks. I was more influenced there than by the later Hippie movement. The goal was enlightenment. We weren’t taught the Christian mystics way back then, only Zen Buddhism. Now my library is filled with the writings of Christian mystics.

But, is that really why? A famous Zen master once said, “Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.” Much of Eastern wisdom traditions I have read have less to do with enlightenment and more to do with living a full life.

Jesus never said the ultimate goal was a mystical enlightenment. I think his “biographers” (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) only recorded a two or three mystical experiences. He didn’t talk about dying and going to heaven. He talked about how we could live a better life, now, in the “Kingdom of Heaven” now. It is near us, he said. Around us.

I had some inner drive for contemplation and enlightenment. Maybe I’ve had some enlightenment experiences. But, in the end, it was to calm my inner emotions driving anger and anxiety and low self esteem.

Think about your question. What are you seeking? Really? Once uncovered, then you can grow from it. And become a better human for it.

Distinguished By Behavior

April 12, 2023

Three days ago Western Christians celebrated Easter—Resurrection Day. I thought about living in a post-resurrection world. Luke documents the changes in Jesus’ followers when the implications of the resurrection sank in.

Sitting in contemplation this morning I saw a bird flying across the yard toward a large tree. A finch, I thought, I can tell by the way it flies. Hmm, I can distinguish among many species by their unique behaviors.

Those early Christians, those who lived in the first century, could be distinguished by their behaviors.

Today, I wondered, can we distinguish Christians by their behaviors?

What would be the distinguishing characteristic?

Would it be the peace, joy, and love of the first century Christian? The Acts 2 Christian?

Would it be a loud-mouthed US Congressperson or other politician US or elsewhere?

Perhaps the pastor and his congregation outside with a loudspeaker shouting epithets at people they don’t agree with or people who look different from them?

Or, perhaps the person who does not make news headlines quietly serving others and passing the peace and joy and love along?

Looking in a mirror, what behavior of mine do I see? What about you?

The Answer With The Fewest Possible Complications

March 2, 2023

Occam’s Razor guides us to seek explanations with the fewest possible set of elements. Often we paraphrase it as the simplest explanation is usually the best.

I went from one rabbit hole to another. First a discussion on LinkedIn where I thought the explanations missed the point. Which led me to a search for the meaning of Occam’s Razor. If you follow all the arguments by philosophers on the Wikipedia page I linked, you will find yourself in another massive rabbit hole. Funny that these philosophers take a maxim about simplicity or fewest elements and write paragraph after paragraph.

We do that when explaining Christianity, too. Or, too often.

When Jesus was pressed for an explanation, he cited his scriptures to love the Lord and he added from a different location to love your neighbor. At the end of his ministry he left one command for his followers–to love one another.

When the rich young man came to Jesus asking about eternal life, he said he’d followed all the commandments since he had been a child. Jesus saw still an impediment to his loving others and told him to give away all his wealth to the poor. He saw that this got in the way of the young man’s opening of his heart. Rule following and attachment to wealth weren’t enough.

I follow this line of reasoning simply to go to the argument with the fewest elements–Jesus clearly taught us to guide our lives by love. Why do we complicate things like the philosophers and theologians? Maybe because love is too hard.