Archive for the ‘Disciplines’ Category

Nobody’s Right If Everybody’s Wrong

August 31, 2016

Nobody’s right, if everybody’s wrong. –Buffalo Springfield

Phone rang. It was a soccer referee I had assigned to a match. It was 20 minutes before kickoff.

“Gary, I have a problem, they don’t want to give me the check for the game. I’m just going to pack up and go home.”

Then while I’m still on the phone listening, he proceeds to argue with people at the game. He is angry. They are angry. I’m sitting there 35 miles away, listening, thinking this is all just so much nonsense. Nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong.

It’s the first week plus a day of the soccer season. This is the fourth one of these conflicts I’ve dealt with. Almost no complaints about on-field work. Referees are “shooting themselves in the foot” before the game even begins.

In Ayurveda, there is a concept called pitta. It is the mind body type of the element of fire. Environments can be pitta, as well. Our temperatures in western Ohio this summer have been around or over 90 deg F constantly. It is again today. Heat provokes emotions–anger. And we are getting it.

I am, by the way, a pitta mind-body type. I’ve spent a life calming and cooling down. Now I try to be the calming influence. The Zen Master is what people called me at one job.

And I thought that we have so much of this in our world right now. Heat. Emotion. Anger. Hatred. The whole world needs a cooling and calming.

Where Buffalo Springfield sang, “Stop children, what’s that sound? Everybody look what’s going down.”

I would answer, “Stop children, let’s calm down, everybody breathe and slow it down.”

How do we hear God’s voice and leading if we’re too busy shouting?

Take a deep breath, hold, release, “Ahhh.” Don’t you feel better?

If God Is Calling Us, Then We Must Listen

August 30, 2016

President of Company: Gary, no one listens to me.

Gary: Huh?

President: No one listens to me.

Gary: Huh?

President: I talk and no one listens.

Gary: Huh?

President: Oh….

Sometimes I just had to get ol’ Dave out of his usual funk.

But, we all have that feeling. It seems no one is listening.

We have something on our minds to share. We have a problem. Or a joy. We’d love to tell someone else. But no one listens.

Must be what God feels like.

The other leaders of our small group decided that four classes in Ephesians was more than enough. They skipped through chapters 5 and 6 in 40 minutes and proclaimed we had learned!

But I’m still stuck in the letter. I’ve never studied it in detail. It is a marvelous piece of writing.

Paul prays for us to be filled with God. Then he shows us a glimpse of spiritual formation in the life of the church and the family and the household. Then he goes  back to the part about filled with God and extends it with the metaphor of spiritual formation as personal body armor in our fight against the evil one who attacks us with insidious thoughts, emotions, and desires.

So, right after he prays for us, he begs us

Be worthy of the calling to which you have been called…

If we have been called by God, then we must listen so that we hear that voice calling us. Otherwise, how do we know about that calling?

At Willow Creek, they teach about the whisper. Sometimes God calls us and it’s not a thunderclap. Like Elijah when God called him to a mountain top to talk to him. He spoke not in the mighty wind or the loud thunder from the lightning. He spoke in a whisper.

To hear a whisper, we had best be still. And attentive. And prepared to respond. Maybe God just whispers, “Go say hi to that person over there.” Or sometimes, “It would be good for you to volunteer for that trip.” Or even, “Quit your job, simplify your life, and follow me.”

Listening is the foundation of spiritual formation.

Change In Personality–It’s Inevitable

August 29, 2016

Don’t you understand, I’m never changing who I am. — Imagine Dragons

No, this song didn’t come from the rebellious, “us-against-them” Heavy Metal genre. It played on Sirius XM Coffee House–acoustic, folk, coffee house type of music.

But it reminds us of our rebellious teenage years. “I’m never changing.”

Do you recall your teenage years? I do–with deep regret and chagrin over my social and relational stupidity. Now, I’m only partially challenged relationally and socially.

Even that statement implies change over time.

My wife is not even close to the same person I married. She’s changed a couple of times. Then I think, “poor woman, I’m not even close to the guy she married.” It wasn’t some sort of bait-and-switch marketing. We just grew. That’s life.

I like to “joke” about some people of my acquaintance who used to be addicted to substances and now are addicted to Jesus. Sort of a fundamental addictive personality, but growth happened. Jesus is much better than drugs.

That’s the process of spiritual formation. We grow intentionally toward being (OK, here comes the M-word) spiritually mature. That’s not so bad.

A spiritually mature person grows to enjoy the fruit of the spirit. Paul, writing to the Galatians (5:22-23), tells us that a person mature in the spirit has the fruit of the spirit–But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. 

Really, now, do we want to remain selfish, anxious, obnoxious people? Adrift in life? Slave to every whim and emotion that buffets us?

We are designed to be free, strong, and caring. People who’ve never grown up may scoff at such people, but wouldn’t you rather be around people filled with such fruit? Wouldn’t you rather be a person filled with such fruit? The Proverbs tells us about scoffers and their inevitable end.

Getting Things Done Takes Focus

August 26, 2016

I woke up Wednesday morning with many things on my mind. There was a 7 am international conference call followed by a 10 am international conference call. Then a 1 pm conference. Finally a 2:30 pm very important client call for which I needed to prepare.

There was enough focus enough for my daily marketing Facebook post for the local coffee shop. And then it was gone. No morning reading and meditation. How was I going to fit in the morning run? How was I going to continue working on a research project? Not to mention time for soccer referee assigning and straightening out the revised assigning Website that has so thoroughly cost me and my athletic director clients a ton of time this summer.

So, no Faith Venture post. And a day that began frazzled and uncertain.

There was my Getting Things Done app, Nozbe. The art of getting things done (by the way, the title of a book and a methodology of David Allen) begins with putting all the things you may have to do and relevant information or links into a trusted location. I use Nozbe linked to Evernote.

The method is to take a deep breath–or more. Clear the head. Then review the list and look at my calendar.

No way I could stay on the first call two hours. So, I listened for a while, got the gist of the conversation. There was nothing for me to contribute, so I dropped off and headed for the park. The next steps are just to review what needs to be done and focus on one at a time. By the evening reflection on the day, it had been pretty productive.

Part of the reason for the personal story is that all around me are things not getting done. There is the room where we have Yoga. We were moved a little over a year ago. They were converting a racquetball court into a Yoga studio. They began painting in January. Did a quick and temporary sound deadening, with the promise of more. And nothing has happened since. Getting Things Done.

There are other places around where there are things to get done, but the person just cannot focus. There is no weekly review and controlling the calendar (hour by hour) to assure that important things get done and that to the best of ability the person is controlling the calendar.

The very first personal development seminar I attended began with the challenge to avoid the dreaded “Tyranny of the Urgent” and work on the Essential things. Forty years later, we still need to work on that.

Painting a Picture of a Functional Family

August 25, 2016

How do you read (study?) the Bible? Or other more challenging books?

Some seem to read through looking for a verse they agree with. Or perhaps a controversial one where they can speculate all day about what-ifs and could-bes.

I know a guy who was leading a discussion in Ephesians. Remember how at the end of Chapter 3, Paul prays for his listeners (readers) by asking three times that they be filled with God?

He proceeds then to talk about how to live this new life filled with God–or as it is called the “With-God” life.

Rather than talk about this new with-God life, he picked up on the verse which is a parenthetical statement about if Jesus ascended to heaven where all things would be under his feet then he must have descended to earth. Well, there is a theology about Jesus actually descending into Hell. They speculated on that for a while and considered the study of Ephesians done.

That’s a shame. What if we read chapters 4-6 not as a list of instructions (let’s just pull out the “wives submit to your husbands” to stand alone and build a philosophy?) but as Paul painting a picture of a spirit-filled person, a spirit-filled family, and a spirit-filled organization?

Read this section as a description of how I would be as a person Paul describes. How I would live. How I would live in community.

Imagine a family where everyone is looking out for the other person. There is no putting myself ahead of the others. No trying to be the “boss”. Yes, there is leadership, but not tyranny. Wow, what a great family.

Let’s take it another step–because Paul does.

What if we were in an organization where people developed their gifts with the encouragement of everyone else in the organization. And people, instead of competing against their fellow workers, worked to build up other people. Equipping them for ministry, as Paul said.

If it is a business, equipping them for developing products and services that serve the customer. If a church, preparing people to go out and serve and witness. If a non-profit, equipped to serve fulfilling the mission of the organization.

How much time, emotional energy, grief would we avoid if when we lived together in family, church, and business we approached it as spirit-filled people?

You can pull out all your little philosophies you want by parsing Paul’s words to suit your purposes. But go back and read this as a picture–a vision of how to live.

Compassion and Confession Go Together

August 23, 2016

We read in the letter of James to confess our sins to one another and pray for one another so that we may be healed.

Confession–a spiritual discipline I may never have discussed. It consists of the admitting to trusted others and to God the thoughts we have dwelled upon or actions we have done or not done that brought us farther away from God and others.

If we confess, then we are healed. Before we confess, we must recognize. When we see ourselves in those things and realize it, then we can tell others in a trusted atmosphere and seek healing. Just ask a therapist. Or an experienced pastor.

What started this line of thinking, believe it or not, was the serious lack of compassion that I see in our society. I hear or read so many callous remarks describing other people. It is so easy to dismiss people who are not like us by grouping them together and then trying to sound either funny or wise by describing them in sometimes very nasty terms.

This, by the way, is not an American phenomenon. I’ve seen it pop up in many cultures. It’s a human problem.

I’m not a “welfare state” liberal who believes I can absolve myself of responsibility for compassion by passing it on to the government. Can you imagine the power in society if all the congregations that call themselves Christian lived out Jesus’ teachings about compassion and helping the poor? Wow!

Some can be found helping others while remaining with a superior attitude. “I’ll toss them a couple of dollars,” they think. This is arrogance and condescension. Not compassion.

Compassion is not “bleeding heart liberalism” like many conservatives used to label people (or maybe still do, I don’t know). Compassion is controlled emotion. It begins with recognizing our own shortcomings. Realizing with gratitude the grace that has come to us. Wanting from the heart to share that grace.

Confession and compassion–a lifestyle of grace turned outward.

You Are Who You Are

August 22, 2016

“You are who you are.”

Weird phrase. Sounds like a truism.

Psalm 139 opens with, “O Lord, you have searched me and known me.” Later it says, “For it was you who formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.”

Paul writing to the Ephesians tells us to be worthy of our calling.

So, I was thinking about these weird little phrases, such as “you are who you are.”

Few things are sadder when someone tries to be what they are not. A short kid thinks he’s an NBA star. A tone-deaf person thinks she’s a great singer. A person short on vision and unable to connect with people thinks he’s a leader.

Maybe we dream of being a great speaker and in reality our calling and gifts point toward teaching and mentoring.

Worse still, are the hypocrites. Jesus once said (I bet in reality he said it a lot), “Woe to you hypocrites.”

Hypocrites means someone who wears a mask. They present a persona to the world that is not even close to what they are.

They pretend to be godly.

They pretend to be wealthy.

They pretend to pray.

They pretend they are compassionate.

Yet, their hearts are hardened. They are actually insecure, or angry, or greedy, or self-absorbed, and so on.

Paul prays that we are not like that. That we truly are filled with the spirit of God. That we find our true calling in life and live it out.

The psalmist concludes 139 with, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

Those are challenging words. They might make us change direction.

Leader’s First Response To Decline

August 19, 2016

You’ve been appointed to head an organization. Could be a business, church, nonprofit. Wherever you are in life.

The organization is thriving. All indicators were up. People affiliated with the organization are enthused. Good things are happening all over. Leadership teams are planning expansions.

Then a change happens. Imperceptibly at first. Few, if anyone, notice. But growth stopped. No real decline, yet. But a couple of staff leaders left, leaving behind some leadership gaps. You, the overall leader didn’t move quickly to fill the gaps. They just slid by.

Eventually the decline is in progress. At first only key people in the organization notice. Then more people notice. A key top staff person notices and brings to your attention. Conflict erupts. Now there is another key gap in the leadership team.

This is a situation I’ve seen several times in my career. I did try to salvage a couple. In one I was actually “president” for a short time while my partners tried to raise money for a takeover. They didn’t, we failed, now I’m writing here.

But back to our fearless leader. The one who seems oblivious to the by now obvious to everyone decline. If you were in that position, would you

  1. Call an emergency staff meeting of the perhaps dozen top leaders to address the problem; or
  2. Gather together a larger group–say greater than 25–and begin a month’s long vision planning exercise, or
  3. Do nothing and either ignore the situation or hope it reverses?

I have never been in the situation (and I can think of at least four I’ve been in) where the leader chose number 1.

Mostly I have seen the non-choice choice of number 3. Either the leader is totally out of their league and just flounders, or their narcissism makes them ignore the situation. Perhaps even degenerating into blame.

Then, I’ve actually seen number 2. All attention is diverted from important and immediate tasks while the entire leadership team squanders its attention on dreaming of what might be.

What should you do? I’d suggest steps such as:

Gather the top leadership team and get them to acknowledge the problem

Gather facts and stories about the situation

Perform root cause analyses (5 why’s, as we say)

Tackle one main problem as quickly as it is identified

If one of the issues that pops up is that “no one understands what we stand for”, then the messaging both internal and external has become muddled. In that case, it is time to go back to the vision statement of the organization and sharpen it. Then make sure that all messaging is consistent.

Maybe the customer experience is not good. Then a team can tackle that problem.

Notice that by doing this, the leader focuses the leadership team and infuses new energy. The new energy should spread throughout the organization as teams form and more people are involved.

Why Are We So Offended?

August 18, 2016

Why are we so offended? Constantly, it seems. Do we go out of our way to seek offensive people or  statements?

Many people seem to think that everyone should be just like them. If they aren’t, these people are offended. And they voice it in their little groups. And complain.

Everyone to whom Paul  wrote (actually Peter, John, James, Luke, too) lived in a society where some of the most offensive practices were carried out openly. They wrote to help people live a good life amongst all of that.

I wonder at times whether we are so thin-skinned that any remark sets us off. Are we possessed of so little faith that it can be shaken by a remark? Or an act by someone?

That is why we practice spiritual disciplines. Constantly refreshing our minds with the proper thoughts and centered on God, helps us grow in faith and confidence.

Confidence–there’s a word that Paul frequently uses that is seldom heard. Can we move forward confident of the triumph of Go?

Offended? Maybe by living a life that is so enticing to others, we can show a better way. We turn being offended into an excuse to help someone grow.

That would be cool.

 

A Change Of Scenery

August 17, 2016

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Sometimes a change of scenery is just what you need. This is looking over Green Bay from my lodge in Door County, Wisconsin. I grew up where there was no water. No stream. The lake was 20 miles away. A little stream we called a river was 7 or 8 miles away. When you’re a kid on a bicycle, that is a long way.

It’s 6 am and no one is out save the crows. Last night’s thunderstorm cleared the air and left a little mist rising from the woods.

I seldom read the Psalms. Don’t know why. I like poetry–even published some a long time ago.

But you get the feeling like David must have. In the still of the morning or evening after one of his high-tension days, he sat and meditated looking over the landscape. And his thoughts focused on God.

He thought about his needs and worries. Then he thought about God’s graciousness. How if you just trust God, it’ll work out somehow.

And whatever will be good for the soul.

I have projects piling up. Need to wrap up about three of them before Labor Day.

But for today. It’s just you and me, God. Right?