Archive for the ‘Awareness’ Category

Tools For Mental Health

November 1, 2023

The man who shot many people in Maine last week was described as having had mental illness. Media outlets throw that term about too loosely and in a manner meant to be pejorative. After all, media does not exist to enhance our mental health but to provoke our emotions so that we’ll read or listen more.

Just like my usual advice of reducing news consumption from these sources to a minimum, beware labels these journalists apply.

We all have issues. Sometimes we can deal with them through music or a jacuzzi. Or simply getting outside for a run or walk through nature. Sometimes they become more painful, and we need to talk to someone. Sometimes they are overwhelming enough where a professional counsellor will help us through. Sometimes even further there exist chemical imbalances within us where the only corrective help comes through appropriate pharmaceuticals.

Simply applying a label of mental health or lack thereof is not helpful.

We all need to strive for optimum mental/emotional health. I offer this podcast from Andrew Huberman, PhD. His is in my top three or four that I listen to every week. Sometimes they are interviews, and sometimes he researches and does a deep dive into a topic. In this episode he, well, let Andrew explain it:

In this episode, I provide science-based tools and protocols to improve mood and mental health. These tools represent key takeaways from several recently published research studies, as well as from former Huberman Lab guests Lisa Feldman Barrett, Ph.D., an expert in the science of emotions, and Paul Conti, M.D., a psychiatrist with vast clinical expertise in helping people overcome mental health challenges. I explain the first principles of self-care, which include the “Big 6” core pillars for mood and mental health. Those ensure our physiology is primed for our overall feelings of well-being. Then, I explain science-based tools to directly increase confidence, build a stronger concept of self, better understand our unconscious mind, manage stress and improve our emotional tone and processing. I also explain ways to better process negative emotions and traumas. This episode ought to be of interest to anyone wishing to improve their relationship with themselves and others, elevate their mood and mental health, and better contribute to the world in meaningful ways.

The “Big 6” Pillars

  1. Sleep & Sleep Routine
  2. Light, Sunlight, Dark
  3. Movement
  4. Nutrition
  5. Social Connection
  6. Stress Control; Physiological Sigh

Trying to Force Our Map on Reality

October 10, 2023

The Bed of Procrustes is a metaphor from an ancient Greek story about a man who wanted to fit his guests to his bed rather than having a bed that fit his guests.

Nassim Nicholas Taleb in his little book of aphorisms by that title talks of trying to change the wrong variable.

Drawing from that metaphor is another applicable to us. How often we try to fit the territory to the map we have in our minds, when we should change our map because the territory isn’t going to change.

We have an idea of the way things should be and are angry when reality impinges in a different way.

Then we try to force reality to fit into our mold. Then we find reality wants us to adapt to what is really going on.

Maybe we are positive that God wants us to be something or do something, when reality stares us in the face. We dream of becoming a rich, famous preacher saving millions, when, like Jesus told us

And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’

Matthew 25

Cynicism and Optimism

October 9, 2023

She had me lying face down on the massage table. As her fingers drove deeply into my back, she says, “The world is going to Hell in a Handbasket.” 

I did not want my massage therapist to get worked up enough to press even harder, so I used my calming voice to consider the truth of the opinion.

Of course truth or facts never get in the way of a good opinion. 

The reality is where you decide or default to place your attention.

Turning off CNN or Fox (whichever poison you’ve chosen) is a great start. Then deciding not to continue to line the already bulging pockets of Mark Z or Elon M by letting them capture my attention continues the journey on this correct path.

I know there are events in the world. But I don’t dwell on them. I know there are morons in Congress. Nothing I can do about that.

I also know there are many people doing good work in the neighborhood, city, and world. I work with many smart and  dedicated engineers and business people making the world a better place.

In many ways in most of the world, life is better than ever before. Yet, many people feel bad. Why? Expectations, I guess. Or where they place their attention. 

At the end of the day pause and consider, “Where have I allowed my attention to drift today? Toward the good? Toward the bad?”

I See Men As Trees Walking

October 4, 2023

For several months of looking through my study window about 6 am at meditation time I saw green grass, trees, bushes, birds, people walking. Now in early October, it is dark out. I can see just the blurred dark swath of trees and bushes. Then dawn rises. I gradually make out individual trees and bushes. 

That probably relates to the phrase found in so many stories—it suddenly dawned on him.

But this takes me back to a country gospel song I first heard from Johnny Cash based on Mark 8—I see men as trees walking. Jesus touched a blind man, and that was the man’s response. Then Jesus touched him a second time, and he could see clearly.

We often experience coming to understanding that same way. Patience and perseverance pay.

Several things I’ve read over the past couple of weeks have nudged me to put aside my anti-Aristotelian prejudice and read Thomas Aquinas again. Last night witnessed the beginning of this journey. Summa Theologica Part 1. (I self-identify as Augustinian rather than Thomist; Neo-Platonist rather than Aristotelian.) 

I struggled through the first few questions and proofs. Then, just as the dawn’s light brought those trees into view, I got the rhythm and sense of direction of the writing.

It’s the same—reading the Bible or a teacher’s text or even learning some new math equations. With patience and persistence, meaning will come.

Body and Soul

October 2, 2023

The beginnings of Yoga according to tradition came from the desire to train the body to be able to sit in meditation for longer periods of time.

Have you an awareness of when your body tells you it just isn’t in peak form for thinking or undertaking a new task?

I had many good meetings last week in Folsom, California at the software conference. I was curious about many things. That led to many discoveries—about the software, about how people used it, and about problems they were all trying to solve.

There was one meeting that was quite unpleasant. The pain remains four days later. Rule 1 for exercising outside. Do not walk or run on a sidewalk. I was finishing. My inner brain guided me to the sidewalk outside the hotel. It was dark. There was one of those flaws you fear where one of the squares has raised. I couldn’t see it. My hands and knees met the sidewalk at full force.

The next three days revealed to me the barest glimmer of life with pain. Even with ample doses of Tylenol the brain struggled to focus on writing. I am much better today (Monday after the Thursday morning fall), but the feeling lingers.

Sometimes I make a poor food choice. Then I can feel it. I have trouble sitting and focusing on what I want to do. I know—I choose poorly.

This must be the reason the Apostle Paul used so many athletic metaphors and examples. The body is the temple, take care of it. He knew that to keep up the pace of meetings, speaking, traveling, writing, and his spiritual health, he had to maintain the physical body.

Yes, intentional physical activity and nutrition and sleep are key elements toward pursuing a rich spiritual life. Take care of yourself. And don’t walk on sidewalks, especially in unfamiliar places, in the dark!

Build the Life You Want

September 29, 2023

Arthur C. Brooks teaches a happiness class at Harvard Business School. Students line up to take the class. Probably because the place is filled with people looking for happiness in all the wrong places (to paraphrase a song).

Oprah Winfrey read his bestseller, From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life, contacted him and invited to her home in California. They hit it off and agreed to collaborate on this book just out this month, Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier.

This book is readable and practical. Much of this I know and practice. Many will not have heard of this research and story. This will help you and/or someone you love.

Let’s begin with “Happiness is not the goal, and unhappiness is not the enemy.”

Philosophers from ancient times have known that happiness is a byproduct of living, not the goal of living. Yet, each generation must learn the lesson anew.

The first chapters discuss managing our emotions.

The four pillars are discussed in detail in the remainder of the book:

  • Family
  • Friends
  • Work
  • Faith (Find Your Amazing Grace)

I leave you with two takeaways.

Augustine of Hippo (St. Augustine) gave a student three pieces of advice.

The first part is humility; the second, humility; the third, humility; and this I would continue to repeat as often as you might ask direction.

Another takeaway.

We need to detach ourselves and become free of sticky cravings. We honestly examine our attachments. What are yours? Money, power, pleasure, prestige—the distractions we sought to be free of with greater emotional self-management? Dig deeper. Just maybe they are your opinions. The Buddha himself named this attachment and its terrible effects more than twenty-four hundred years ago when he is believed to have said, “This who grasp at perceptions and views go about butting their heads in the world.” More recently the Vietnamese Buddhist sage Thich Naht Hanh wrote in his book Being Peace, “Humankind suffers very much from attachment to views.”

I Am With You

September 12, 2023

Haggai, the prophet, wrote that God said, “I am with you.”

Jesus told his followers at the end of his ministry, “I will be with you.”

What does that mean?

Is it more than a feeling (sounds like a 60s love song)?

Jon Swanson asked once when Jesus asks you to follow him, what would you pack? Great question.

So, I packed to follow Jesus, because he is with me.

Literally? (OK, you Biblical literalists, hit me with that.)

Do I just think he is with me?

Do I believe that he is right here in the room with me? Do I see him? Hear him? Smell him?

Maybe I feel his presence in a way that cannot really be described in prose. It is more than a feeling. Yet, it is not a physical presence. I think they have hospitals for people who say they can see, touch and smell Jesus or God right now.

These meandering thoughts remind me of a Jesus movement song from a long time ago–love is something you do, not always something that you feel, but it’s real.

Yeah, that’s it.

Look Inside For Causes

September 11, 2023

So instead of loving what you think is peace, love other men and love God above all. And instead of hating the people you think are warmers, hate the appetites and the disorder in your own soul, which are the causes of war. If you love peace, then hate injustice, hate tyranny, hate greed–but hate these things in yourself, not in another.

Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation

Oh, how easy it is to look at others and judge. How difficult to look within and see all the evil residing therein.

Somewhere inside we need a pause button. Like before we speak. Probably every time.

We look at someone and a story about them comes to mind. Usually not a good story. We think the worst.

Maybe if we hit that pause button and then ask a conversation starting (not ending!) question and actually listen. Maybe by listening we hear a story. Almost always that story will change the opinion. We discover people who are hurting just like us (who won’t admit it).

Maybe there is grief in the family. There are many kinds. They hurt.

Maybe they just feel left out. All they needed was someone to greet them and listen to them.

Maybe a recent diagnosis–theirs or family or friend–is weighing on them.

Maybe we pray for peace and justice, but even there we need that pause button and look inside at our attitudes towards other–maybe fear based on our own insecurities, maybe dislike merging with hatred of someone different, maybe rooting for war somewhere.

Pause and look inside. I know. I have. There’s no perfection there. Work remains to be done.

Childlike or Childish?

August 24, 2023

I may have written before about how I loved to take woks with my grandson when he was a toddler. We weren’t trying for distance. He would stop and explore leaves and bugs and worms and little lizards. Everything was fresh and new. He was filled with child-like wonder of things.

Perhaps that was the picture Jesus had in mind when he suggested that we should become like little children. Take in new experiences with eyes open with wonder. Accept whatever people came our way with the same anticipation and joy.

The rare times I turn on TV news or scan news on the internet, I’m shocked by the realization of how adolescent and childish so many of these people are.

We need to look at ourselves. The daily Examen. Morning and evening reflect on the day. Where did we delight in someone or something with childlike wonder? Where and when were we acting childish like a 2-year-old?

In The Spirit and Doing Good

August 21, 2023

An ancient observation, about 4,600 years old:

One of complete virtue is not conscious of being virtuous.

One of whole virtue does not need to do anything in order to be virtuous.

This is similar to what the Apostle Paul tried to explain many times as he taught about those living in the spirit of God as followers of Jesus and those who tried to avoid God’s anger by obeying each and every one of the 600+ laws of the Hebrew tradition.

If we are truly living in the spirit, living a life with-God, we just naturally live good (maybe not exactly perfect but good) lives. We are kind, empathetic, helpful, virtuous. We have peace and joy and hope. We don’t even realize it. We just are.

Yet, so many read Paul in order to find more rules (laws) to add to the 600+ Jewish laws. They unfortunately miss the point.

So many of us miss the point. Missing out on the sort of life that God wishes for us.

Self-awareness begins the journey. Focus and attention—not on ourselves but first on God then on others. Or, maybe first on others then we realize the God part comes along. We can change, otherwise Paul wouldn’t have written all those letters to guide us.