Archive for the ‘Attitude’ Category

Nice People Do Finish First

January 15, 2015

“27 Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due,
when it is in your power to do it.
28 Do not say to your neighbor, “Go, and come again,
tomorrow I will give it”—when you have it with you.
29 Do not plan harm against your neighbor
who lives trustingly beside you.
30 Do not quarrel with anyone without cause,
when no harm has been done to you.”

–Proverbs 3

It is said, “Nice guys finish last.”

I know people who call themselves Christian who are Darwinists. Oh, no, not the evolutionary scientist ones. The ones who subscribe to a late 19th Century philosophy derived from Darwin’s theory of survival of the fittest–Social Darwinists.

There was one of those who worked with me for years. At least, he was the most blatant of the philosophy. These are people for whom life is a “zero-sum game.” There are winners and there are losers. And you know the winners by how much wealth they’ve accumulated, the size and location of their house(s), the size of their salary. Losers? Well, they should just get lost. Who cares about them?

Like narcissists (are they cousins?), many can be charming at times. But the in-your-face attitude often comes out.

Scientific evidence

Scientists have discovered ways to simulate all manner of situations on powerful computers. This article in Lifehacker reports on a computer simulation of a game called Prisoner’s Dilemma.

Researchers set up a “game” where the players get two cards (options) which are basically to cooperate or compete to win the game. Humans playing the game typically choose to compete.

This latest research set up a computer simulation of the game that could be iterated many times. The results–it is better for both players to cooperate rather than compete.

Biblical wisdom

I guess Biblical wisdom is really, er, wise.

While maintaining your core strength gained from God, treat your fellow humans nicely, with dignity and respect. In the end, you’ll win.

Measure Your Priorities in Life

December 22, 2014

Jesus told us to watch what we do with our money, wealth and possessions. Their use is an indicator of the status of our heart.

This is probably a good time of the year to pause our hectic holiday activities and search out what our priorities are.

Where are your priorities? How can we know? This time of year, commercialization grabs center stage. Yet, also, there are opportunities to donate to any of seemingly a million causes. Do you pick some causes important to you or your understanding of mission? Do you donate? Or is your spending ruled by yourself?

Christmas is a boom time for luxury car sales. Those must be presents for oneself.

You can apply this to other areas of life. Take a look at a church budget and divide into two buckets. Take a look at your personal overall budget and put into two buckets. Check out your Christmas budget. Yep. Divide into two buckets. One bucket is for your personal (or the church’s internal) use. The other is for outreach/mission/evangelism/other-focused. What is the proportion of one bucket to the other? If it is greater than 50/50 weighted toward inward/personal, what does that say about you?

Pause, reflect, take appropriate action. Don’t be a Grinch. Help others have a happy Christmas time.

Take a Walk To Change Your Mood

December 16, 2014

The best time is when you don’t feel like it.

Going for a walk when you don’t feel like it will change your mood, transform your posture and get you moving.

And if you don’t feel like talking with someone, bring them with you on the walk.

–Seth Godin

Seth Godin is a marketing guru. He’s written several books. Now he writes short blog posts. Here is one that really suggests wisdom relating to Spiritual discipline.

Sometimes you just can’t pray. Sometimes you just can’t study. Sometimes you just don’t feel like celebrating.

When you don’t feel like it, change something.

Going outside is a great mood enhancer. And a creativity booster.

I like his idea of bringing someone along for the walk when you don’t feel like talking with them. I know from experience.

This idea of intentionally asking someone for a conversation is powerful. There is a guy here in my town who is a genius at this. He even has me doing it.

Think I’ll go take a walk.

Be Careful What We Say

December 5, 2014

“Out of the overflow of our hearts, the mouth speaks.”
Jesus’ words recorded in Matthew 11

December in the US, and I would imagine in many other countries, is a time of stress, worry, impatience, overwork. We must buy just the right present for everyone on the list. We must prepare tasty dishes for Christmas or holiday gatherings. We must navigate through family feelings for visits and gatherings.

What is the status of our hearts?

Out of worry, fear, insecurity, impatience, stress in our hearts things we say to others or write on Facebook may not be what we wish we would have said during calmer times.

In fact, when I look at Facebook posts from self-professed Christians, I wonder if Jesus would be honored by what is said or implied.

During Advent, let’s try to simplify things.

Stopping every morning before the day begins to have a cup of coffee or tea, read, meditate, pray, these all help us check the status of our hearts, slow us down, focus us on the important things.

Good ideas come when we slow down and focus.

We can defeat the negative emotions that can distract us just by getting our hearts right intentionally every morning.

Then, we don’t have that other worry of reading our Facebook posts and wondering just what we were thinking!

Spiritual Discipline of Waiting

December 4, 2014

Do you remember being a child at Christmas?

The entire month of December? The night before Christmas?

My wife’s family (according to her) would open one present on Christmas Eve just to get a jump on Christmas. She couldn’t wait. Still can’t.

Luke, writing in his gospel, tells the story of two people who, upon seeing the baby Jesus, saying that they had lived their entire lives waiting to see the Lord’s Redeemer. Now they could die peacefully.

Advent. We’re waiting. Patiently.

We know the “rest of the story.” Yet, we wait in anticipation. Perhaps the deep realization of the Lord’s redemption in us will pop into our hearts.

Maybe we can start living as a true disciple of Jesus–instead of just saying we are.

Maybe we can stop waiting to act out our words–instead of playing one-up with words.

Maybe we can stop waiting to actually live–and go forth and make disciples, heal the sick, stop injustice.

Beckett wrote about Waiting for Godot–and he never appeared. We live in faith that God will appear. In us.

Waiting is required. Then when waiting is over, it is time to go. We wait at a red traffic light watching for green. When the light changes, we go.

When the wait at Advent is over, then it’s time to go forth and make disciples of the entire world.

Successful People Are Those With Successful Habits

December 3, 2014

Advent. A time of preparation, anticipation, increasing excitement. We prepare our hearts for the celebrations around Christmas Day.

Advent may also be a good time to begin new habits. Perhaps better than New Years—since broken New Years Resolutions are legendary.

If you have not already incorporated an early morning routine into your life, this is an ideal time to start.

We wake up during this season to a lengthy list of things to do. We are behind before we start. Kids have projects. There’s baking for yet another Christmas party. When is there time for reading and reflecting. Where is God in all this?

An early morning routine can help put some sense and perspective into the season.

From Charles Duhig’s book, The Power of Habit, we learned about keystone habits—those habits that lead to other habits. Getting up a little earlier is one of those keystone habits. Even if it’s only 15 minutes at first, you’ll see the difference.

  • You’ll be less rushed
  • You’re in control of the morning
  • There is time for reading and prayer
  • As you learn to get up even earlier, you may find this to be the best planning or writing time
  • You will feel more peaceful
  • You will have more energy during the day
  • You’ll discover your days go much better

Try this out for Advent. It may just change your life.

Blessed Are The Merciful

November 19, 2014

“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.”

And again

“And the second is like it, you shall love others as yourself.”

Most people seem to have no problem with the last part of Jesus’ second command quoted above. We have no problems loving ourselves.

I see just enough people who can empathize with others to maintain my faith in humans. For so many seem to have little or no empathy.

My generation was dubbed the “Me Generation” years (and years) ago by Time magazine, I believe. I remember talking to a classmate in college about having empathy toward a professor who had a lot to offer, yet he wound up at a small liberal arts college in rural Ohio. “I don’t care,” he replied.

I have witnessed the very same attitudes countless times daily since then. “I don’t care.” “They got what they deserved.” “What orphans?” “So what?”

Even in everyday conversation. Do you ever catch yourself that your comments are all about yourself? Is it just occasionally? Or is it often. Try stopping to count.

Do you ever notice speakers whose every reference is about themselves?

How many of our generation will receive mercy?

I pray for a reaction by the next generations who may rebel against all that “all about me” thinking?

Taking Care Over Our Priorities

November 18, 2014

I’m usually writing this about 6:30 am Eastern time, but I’m in the Los Angeles area today. 5:30 am, I’ve been up for an hour. It’ll be a long day.

Yesterday, I wrote about marketing. And whether (or how much) marketers try to influence our perceived needs–especially by ever-increasing devious means. There is advertising disguised as editorial. Product placements in media or entertainment. And on and on.

Just yesterday, Wal-Mart sent me five emails promoting Black Friday sales. FIVE. (I’m on their list because I occasionally have actual prints made of my digital photos.)

While thinking about this a few minutes ago, Gary Haugen of the International Justice Mission was speaking about Christian responses to some of the most horrible things that humans are doing to other humans.

I just had to pray. Am I doing enough? Am I influencing enough to counter the now-global onslaught of advertising promoting not only consumption, but our misplaced priorities hidden behind the consumption.

There are good products. Products that enhance our lives and provide for enjoyment. But why do we buy them? Is it momentary impulse resulting in another piece of unused labor and material sitting on a shelf in the closet?

Let’s take care of our priorities first, then proceed into the market.

To Find Beauty Look At The Heart

October 30, 2014

Ever look at someone and judge beauty?

Notice the question is not gender specific? I’m a man, so I’m pretty familiar with what men do. But I’ve had enough conversations (or I’ve listened to others in places where I’m alone) to know that women do that, too. Maybe just differently.

Even just asking that question makes many people feel insecure.

It gets translated into thoughts such as “Am I beautiful enough” or “Why was I born this way” or “I need to lose x pounds”.

I work many days at a Starbucks that is embedded in a Kroger grocery store. Many people walk by. Years of refereeing has made me observant. I see a lot.

Yesterday I saw a woman who was quite attractive. But she’d never have a photo grace the cover of a women’s (or men’s) magazine. But you could just tell.

I thought, this is a little like Jesus. He was very observant. But he looked at hearts. He wanted to know the status of your heart. And there he found beauty.

Two questions:

What do you see when you observe people?

What is the status of your your heart?

Change Your Mood By Taking a Walk

October 24, 2014

Did you know that your walk reflects your mood? Trudge along slump-shouldered and you appear depressed. Put a little pep in your step and you look happy. Interestingly, it appears the reverse may be true as well. Changing your walking style can affect your mood for better or worse, according to new research from Canada’s Queen’s University.

The quote comes from the Website of Dr. Andrew Weil, a place I often visit for medical or health information.

My normal pace when walking is fast. I hate slow. I hate shopping, because my wife is slowly going through racks or through the store looking at things. I’m only interested in needs, not wants. If I need something, I know where it is. I go, pick it up, and get out.

Sometimes, I notice I’m walking more slowly, head down, no energy. Then I’ll think that I should be more energetic. I’ll need the energy to everything done that needs to get done that day. So, I pick up the pace.

Change my mood by changing my walk.

But, sometimes I’m thinking. I go out to walk around the block. I’m solving a problem or trying to conceptualize a lot of data into a bigger picture. It helps to be outside and take a walk. Or sometimes I am simply meditating. These time, I have no idea how fast I’m walking, because I’m deep in thought. Pace doesn’t matter. Being outside is what counts.

Watch how people walk. See if they are depressed or energetic. Check out how you are walking. Are their heads down, slumped posture, slow walk? Then consider yourself. Get your head up, shoulders erect, pace quicker and feel more positive and have more energy.