Archive for the ‘Attitude’ Category

Successful People Are Those With Successful Habits

December 3, 2014

Advent. A time of preparation, anticipation, increasing excitement. We prepare our hearts for the celebrations around Christmas Day.

Advent may also be a good time to begin new habits. Perhaps better than New Years—since broken New Years Resolutions are legendary.

If you have not already incorporated an early morning routine into your life, this is an ideal time to start.

We wake up during this season to a lengthy list of things to do. We are behind before we start. Kids have projects. There’s baking for yet another Christmas party. When is there time for reading and reflecting. Where is God in all this?

An early morning routine can help put some sense and perspective into the season.

From Charles Duhig’s book, The Power of Habit, we learned about keystone habits—those habits that lead to other habits. Getting up a little earlier is one of those keystone habits. Even if it’s only 15 minutes at first, you’ll see the difference.

  • You’ll be less rushed
  • You’re in control of the morning
  • There is time for reading and prayer
  • As you learn to get up even earlier, you may find this to be the best planning or writing time
  • You will feel more peaceful
  • You will have more energy during the day
  • You’ll discover your days go much better

Try this out for Advent. It may just change your life.

Blessed Are The Merciful

November 19, 2014

“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.”

And again

“And the second is like it, you shall love others as yourself.”

Most people seem to have no problem with the last part of Jesus’ second command quoted above. We have no problems loving ourselves.

I see just enough people who can empathize with others to maintain my faith in humans. For so many seem to have little or no empathy.

My generation was dubbed the “Me Generation” years (and years) ago by Time magazine, I believe. I remember talking to a classmate in college about having empathy toward a professor who had a lot to offer, yet he wound up at a small liberal arts college in rural Ohio. “I don’t care,” he replied.

I have witnessed the very same attitudes countless times daily since then. “I don’t care.” “They got what they deserved.” “What orphans?” “So what?”

Even in everyday conversation. Do you ever catch yourself that your comments are all about yourself? Is it just occasionally? Or is it often. Try stopping to count.

Do you ever notice speakers whose every reference is about themselves?

How many of our generation will receive mercy?

I pray for a reaction by the next generations who may rebel against all that “all about me” thinking?

Taking Care Over Our Priorities

November 18, 2014

I’m usually writing this about 6:30 am Eastern time, but I’m in the Los Angeles area today. 5:30 am, I’ve been up for an hour. It’ll be a long day.

Yesterday, I wrote about marketing. And whether (or how much) marketers try to influence our perceived needs–especially by ever-increasing devious means. There is advertising disguised as editorial. Product placements in media or entertainment. And on and on.

Just yesterday, Wal-Mart sent me five emails promoting Black Friday sales. FIVE. (I’m on their list because I occasionally have actual prints made of my digital photos.)

While thinking about this a few minutes ago, Gary Haugen of the International Justice Mission was speaking about Christian responses to some of the most horrible things that humans are doing to other humans.

I just had to pray. Am I doing enough? Am I influencing enough to counter the now-global onslaught of advertising promoting not only consumption, but our misplaced priorities hidden behind the consumption.

There are good products. Products that enhance our lives and provide for enjoyment. But why do we buy them? Is it momentary impulse resulting in another piece of unused labor and material sitting on a shelf in the closet?

Let’s take care of our priorities first, then proceed into the market.

To Find Beauty Look At The Heart

October 30, 2014

Ever look at someone and judge beauty?

Notice the question is not gender specific? I’m a man, so I’m pretty familiar with what men do. But I’ve had enough conversations (or I’ve listened to others in places where I’m alone) to know that women do that, too. Maybe just differently.

Even just asking that question makes many people feel insecure.

It gets translated into thoughts such as “Am I beautiful enough” or “Why was I born this way” or “I need to lose x pounds”.

I work many days at a Starbucks that is embedded in a Kroger grocery store. Many people walk by. Years of refereeing has made me observant. I see a lot.

Yesterday I saw a woman who was quite attractive. But she’d never have a photo grace the cover of a women’s (or men’s) magazine. But you could just tell.

I thought, this is a little like Jesus. He was very observant. But he looked at hearts. He wanted to know the status of your heart. And there he found beauty.

Two questions:

What do you see when you observe people?

What is the status of your your heart?

Change Your Mood By Taking a Walk

October 24, 2014

Did you know that your walk reflects your mood? Trudge along slump-shouldered and you appear depressed. Put a little pep in your step and you look happy. Interestingly, it appears the reverse may be true as well. Changing your walking style can affect your mood for better or worse, according to new research from Canada’s Queen’s University.

The quote comes from the Website of Dr. Andrew Weil, a place I often visit for medical or health information.

My normal pace when walking is fast. I hate slow. I hate shopping, because my wife is slowly going through racks or through the store looking at things. I’m only interested in needs, not wants. If I need something, I know where it is. I go, pick it up, and get out.

Sometimes, I notice I’m walking more slowly, head down, no energy. Then I’ll think that I should be more energetic. I’ll need the energy to everything done that needs to get done that day. So, I pick up the pace.

Change my mood by changing my walk.

But, sometimes I’m thinking. I go out to walk around the block. I’m solving a problem or trying to conceptualize a lot of data into a bigger picture. It helps to be outside and take a walk. Or sometimes I am simply meditating. These time, I have no idea how fast I’m walking, because I’m deep in thought. Pace doesn’t matter. Being outside is what counts.

Watch how people walk. See if they are depressed or energetic. Check out how you are walking. Are their heads down, slumped posture, slow walk? Then consider yourself. Get your head up, shoulders erect, pace quicker and feel more positive and have more energy.

The Power of Suggestion

October 10, 2014

Do you ever notice how your attitude or focus can be altered by the power of a suggestion from someone?

Since I spend more time than the average person on an airplane, and since boarding and deplaning are stressful situations, these are great times to observe people–including my own feelings.

Yesterday I flew from Orlando to Houston. Long story, but I’m a session chair for the process control track of a conference of the American Institute of Chemical Engineers. I go home tonight.

It’s Orlando. Lots of families. It’s Thursday evening. Lots of business travelers heading home from conferences. Houston is a hub. The plane is packed. Packed plane means fighting for overhead bin space for all your carry on stuff-especially your “roll aboard” suitcase.

(I made the week-long trip with only a backpack to cut down my stress.)

The first thing I notice is courtesy. The first people to get on–do they try to cram everything they have in the overhead so that they (so they think) have more leg room?

I was among the early boarders. But there was a couple in my row. As I looked at the bin not sure that my backpack would fit under the seat, I noticed the bin was full. Two roll aboards and a couple of big bags of some kind. OK, I’ll just try to stuff it in the smaller area of the aisle seat. I look down. There is nothing under the seats of my row-mates. I find I can cram the backpack in the spot. No problem. But I notice I have become a little annoyed at the young couple beside me.

Later, guy comes in who is in the bulkhead row across the aisle from me. There is no overhead space for rows. He looks around somewhat annoyed and frazzled. He spots an opening in a bin in first class. Goes up and stuffs his backpack there. Goes back to his bulkhead row in economy plus.

Flight attendant comes back and says (as close to a direct quote as I can remember), “I hate to do this to you, but I need the overhead bins in first class for first class passengers. I see an open spot just behind you. Could you move your bag?”

Guy shrugs and complies. Then a guy in his row says, “Boy, she was really short with you.” The more he thinks about this, the more incensed he becomes. I can see the rising anger.

He stops the flight attendant. “What’s your name?” he demanded. “I’m sorry, I don’t give that out. I was stalked once by a passenger,” she replied. “What’s the matter?” “I don’t like the way you treated me and I want to report you,” he replied. She asks why, a little shocked. She’s one of those bubbly friendly type of people who probably would never consciously provoke anger in someone.

Here is the situation. High anxiety (everyone is worried about overhead bin space). I am inconvenienced. Someone says something. My annoyance escalates. I create a scene.

It is times like these when we all need to learn to take a deep breath. Gain perspective about the big picture. Shrug it off. Be glad I got on and the plane was early and my baggage survive.

Oh, yes, I did that to calm my annoyance. After all, I was settling in to read “Paul and the Faithfulness of God.” Wouldn’t have been much of a witness if I had used my power of suggestion on the couple beside me, would it!

Trust As Faith Foundation

September 30, 2014

Yesterday I was meditating upon why it is that some people display such insecurity and lack of confidence.

Then I listened to Andy Stanly discuss trust as a foundation.

When Moses led the Hebrews out of Egypt, he faced the leadership challenge of introducing a people who had known only slavery for 400 years to freedom. He had to form a nation. At every step of the way from God’s first call to Moses to his entire leadership God just told them, “Trust me.”

The introduction to the 10 Commandments and then the first Commandment dealt with trust. “You shall have no other Gods before me” and “I am the Lord your God”.

It important that we come to deeply understand and feel this presence of God. Through this we should be able to gain confidence and trust.

How do we get to that point if we are not already there?

  • Read, study, meditate on the Bible and other spiritual writing
  • Spend time daily in silence focusing on God and inviting God’s presence
  • Join a community of worshipers for celebration, worship and support

Daily Spiritual practices will get you back on track if you have slipped off the rails. They will also fortify and deepen your existing faith.

Are You Emotionally Intelligent

September 26, 2014

My recent reading has turned up some new thoughts on emotional intelligence. I thought I would focus on two traits this morning. Self-aware and Empathetic.

I think these go together.

To be self-aware means that we can see ourselves as others see us. I can still remember one of those experiences when I was perhaps 11 or 12. I was doing one of those “boy” things and had a vision seeing myself from the outside. And how stupid I was. There have been other occurrences since I provide plenty of stupidity times.

A good time to actually try to do this is while in a queue at an airline counter when all the flights are cancelled. You see yourself being less than kind to the poor gate agent–the only person who can help you.

This leads to empathy–a trait lacking in the narcissistic among us. Seeing the whole incident from outside ourselves, so to speak, allows us to see the other person as a fellow human being with feelings just like us.

A narcissistic person (one who is self-absorbed) will tend to look at the situation as one where someone else can help me or hinder me. An empathetic person begins to feel what the other person is going through. Our feelings mesh with theirs. It’s not just about us anymore. It’s about us.

Just today someone told me about a terrible hurt from an incident of many years ago. It still hurts. It hurt me to think about it.

Perhaps today we can try self-awareness and empathy. Life is so much better that way.

Happiness

September 18, 2014

How do other people affect your happiness? Do you know what makes you happy?

John Ortberg has a series going on the subject. He mentioned last week quoting Dallas Willard that happiness (like the other fruits of the Spirit) is a condition, not an emotion.

Emotions come and go. If I am in a state of being happy, that is a condition that is more of a permanent part of my life.

On the same day, I heard Ortberg talk about how comparing ourselves to others is a great way to disrupt your happiness; then I read Leo Babauta talk of how social media can exacerbate the tendency to compare ourselves to others. We see people seemingly living good lives by watching their Instagram or Facebook posts. We think, they must be happy. That makes me unhappy.

Last Sunday, our pastor talked about how good it makes him feel after a service when people come up and compliment him. But, if one person criticizes, he feels bad for the week. He probably exaggerated, but it’s a true statement for all of us, right?

So, I pondered the question, how do other people affect my happiness? Or, better, why do I let other people affect my happiness.

Instead of being jealous at their success, try rejoicing with them. They may not be as happy as one Facebook photo may suggest. Maybe they need a hug.

My happiness comes from being grounded in the Spirit. But sometimes I do give people the power over my happiness. Then I recognize it and move on.

Choosing The Right Advice

September 12, 2014

Fools think their own way is right; but the wise listen to advice.

I have had a very busy week with little time for reflection except in snippets. My own advice I should have listened to–as Yoda might put it. I took the last flight out of Chicago Wednesday. Delayed an hour. Arrived home Thursday morning at 1:15 am. Not conducive to getting up at 5:30 and meditating and reading.

What has been on my mind this week is puzzling out people who do not seek the facts of a situation, but proceed on rumor and innuendo. On the other hand, I’ve also run into people who go the other way and wait for all the facts to come in to make a decision.

The quote comes from Proverbs. Those who proceed to action from their feelings based on information that comes in that they feel disposed toward believing, will make bad decisions. And they will stir up divisiveness.

These people reflect what happens when a personality type tips out of balance. It’s when the “feeling/judgmental” type as described by Myers-Briggs goes to excess. This is where the wise seek out and listen to good advisors. They remind themselves that they don’t know everything and that maybe they should still learn.

The other type, meanwhile, is when the opposite, the “thinking/perceptives”, need to take in more information and more information and have trouble acting. That’s when you test your advisors, trust the proven ones and finally decide “I know enough to take action” and do so.

Philosophers have taught us from ancient times that balance is all important. We need to seek balance in our lives. We need to seek balance in our personalities. We need to study, think, act. Not act, think, study.