Faith Venture

The very first time I was introduced to the “personal development guru” genre was in the late 1970s. The guy (I forget his name, now) “gave” us all Day-Timers for organizing our tasks, goals and time, taught us Transcendental Meditation (“ram” the sound of the third chokra, or energy center in the body, the seat of power), and left us with a thought, “try easy.”

By that he meant try to achieve, but take it easy. If it doesn’t happen, so be it. Work hard, but allow space for the unexpected.

Someone recently wrote about chronically unhappy people. One contributor was attempting (or thinking you can) control your life.

Ever notice people who are “control freaks?” They try to control all the outcomes of their life. They will be successful, the boss, rich, happy. They write goals and then try to micromanage the effort to control the outcome.

Many not only try to control every outcome of their life, they also try to control your life. They like to tell everyone else how to live second-by-second. They are a joy to have around—not.

Do you know controlling people—either aggressively so or passive-aggressively so—who say they aren’t? They say things like, “I know God is in control,” yet their lives betray their lack of confidence in that statement.

Life goals are good. Although writing a goal such as “I’ll lose 15 pounds this year” is laudable. But if you try controlling the achievement of that goal through will power, you’ll wind up unhappy.

If you see yourself as becoming fit, trim and 15 pounds lighter, and then look at your lifestyle and change some habits, then you’ll find yourself changing and maybe achieving that “try easy” frame of mind. You have established a habit of not snacking on high calorie junk. A habit of going to the gym. A habit of the group exercise class. If you miss one? So what, I’m in the habit of going and I return next day.

Same with deepening your spiritual life. There are so many people who talk about “loving the Lord” or “being a Christian”, yet they seem so unhappy.

Maybe just deciding to drop the burden of trying to control themselves and others that they may not even realize they are carrying will be the first step of freedom from their own self-imposed control. Maybe a new habit develops of thinking about others first. Not to control what they do, but to understand what they need and be there to help.

A change in attitude toward control will change the permanent orientation of your life from unhappy to joyful.

Try easy.