Archive for the ‘Attitude’ Category

Preparing for Christmas—They Got It Wrong

December 25, 2025

I read Mary’s song of blessing again. My takeaway for us, especially if we are gathering with family—beware pride, practice humility. 

Everyone got Jesus’s birth wrong.

Mary was shocked. And then really pregnant. And escaped the rumor mongers of her hometown.

Joseph was even more shocked. He is almost never discussed again. The mystery man. He just reveals to us what a real man, a spiritual man, would do.

The magi (“wise men”) prepared for a journey, went in a general direction, but still didn’t really know where, and all the imports of the special revelation.

King Herod only thought in terms of the succession to his throne. That sort of reminds us of King Saul trying to protect the succession of his throne from David.

The Gospels record three people contemporary with the event who all saw part of the event but failed to see the full import.

Jewish people during Jesus’s ministry failed to understand the full import of the event and his ministry—until after the resurrection.

His closest friends and followers got it wrong—until they got it right.

I bet that many (most?) people today, even those who claim to follow him, don’t really digest the full importance of the event.

Even so, 2,000 years after the fact, we still have a feast day to remember his birth.

I wish you all a merry Christmas. Put aside pride and differences in order to celebrate with others.

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Talking People Out Of Hate–Part 2

December 24, 2025

The post yesterday looked at a man unafraid to face people who hate him only because of his skin color. A black jazz musician named Darryl Davis who found a type of ministry engaging in conversations with white men who are active neo-nazis or ku klux klan members.

Shortly after posting that, a video popped up on my fitness and nutrition app (called the Pump Club founded by Arnold Schwarzenegger, it guides me in my resistance training). I have to admit that I never had posters of Arnold in his prime doing muscle poses. If I had lived in California, I’m not sure I’d have voted for him to be the “Governator.” I’ve only see two of his movies, and only one intentionally. But I’ve come to respect his nonprofit work, especially building the fitness and esteem of young people.

He directly addresses hate in this YouTube video. It is a powerful message.

If you haven’t guessed it yet, I believe that spreading hate and divisiveness is the polar opposite of the message we should be living as Jesus followers. We should be reconciling people as much as we can. Being always successful? Not likely. But we aren’t graded on success. We are graded on where our heart is.

In this Christmas season, in fact this publishes on Christmas Eve, let us dedicate ourselves anew to the Prince of Peace.

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Talking People Out of Hate

December 23, 2025

The conversation occurred between a black jazz musician and a white member of the Ku Klux Klan. The white man asked, “Why should I listen to you? You’re just a drive-by shooter and gang-banger.”

“Because I’m black?” replied the musician. “Perhaps that’s just where they live. On the other hand, you must be a serial killer. David Berkowitz, Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, I can’t think of one black serial killer.”

“That’s not fair,” came the reply.

The breakthrough created a conversation. Perhaps not a conversion. But a start. Breaking through stereotypes leads to better conversations. Perhaps we can see other humans as, well, human.

Thinking of peaceful relationships hopefully leading to joy during this Christmas Season (some people’s experience of Advent), I reflected on this podcast episode of Adam Grant’s Rethinking. (I’ve previously recommended his book.) The only link I could find was to the podcast app I use on iOS. You can find it, I’m sure, on Apple podcasts.

This is the description of the episode. I highly recommend listening. The Ku Klux Klan is one of the tightest-knit White supremacist groups in America—once someone joins, they’re usually in for life. But since the 1980s, over 200 members have renounced their affiliation, and all give credit to the same man: a Black jazz musician named Daryl Davis. In this episode, Adam is joined by Daryl and Jeff Schoep, a former leader of the largest neo-Nazi group in the US whose life and mind were changed by meeting and befriending Daryl. They discuss techniques for challenging ignorance and prejudice, analyze the cognitive dissonance experienced by members of extremist groups, and reflect on the conversations with Daryl that helped Jeff think again. They also explore the limits of empathy and curiosity.

I cannot explain how some people come to feel hatred toward other groups. I’ve read many books and papers. More to my interest concerns having civil conversations across divisions. As a liberal living in a very conservative area, I’ve had some practice. It’s a continuing education process. How can you reach out and gently help others break stereotypes? Perhaps also for me.

Some links for Host & Guest

Adam Grant (Instagram: @adamgrant | LinkedIn: @adammgrant | Website: https://adamgrant.net/

Daryl Davis (Instagram: @realdaryldavis | Website: https://www.daryldavis.com/

Jeff Schoep (Instagram: @jeff_schoep | Website: https://jeffschoep.com/

Links

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Curbing Your Tongue

December 22, 2025

As I have turned from inward toward outward during Advent (since I have never been an Advent sort of person), I have been thinking about how each of us interacts with others. If we call this the “Christmas season” rather than Advent, then we consider the themes of peace and joy with perhaps a pinch of anticipation tossed in.

One form of peace enters our experience through how we treat  others, how others treat us, and how we observe interactions of others at some distance.

I listened recently to an interview with a kindergarten teacher on what it’s like to be one. She said at one point, “Kindergarteners are so cute. They say whatever comes into their minds.”

And I thought about the general discourse in society today. Especially where I hear some people (who have an especially amplified voice thanks to the insidious spread of social media) who became angry feeling they were forced into civilized discourse rather than being able to say whatever comes to mind. 

But what is cute in 5-year-olds sounds much differently when it comes from adults. With maturity comes the ability to speak with a civil tongue. Especially for those who claim to be following Jesus.

Let us consider the teaching of James, the brother of Jesus, an early leader of “The Way,” and a profound wisdom teacher. 

When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

What is James telling us at the end of his analysis? What we say is a reflection of the status of our hearts. What was Jesus’s top concern—the status of our hearts. And where should our hearts be resting? Upon God. Which then has the effect upon us of loving other humans. 

So, we tie the inner and the outer together. As we consider the themes of peace and joy during this season (and the year following), let us consider how we use our “tongues,” whether vocally or through our fingers on a keyboard. Let us put a metaphorical bit in our mouth. 

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Be Useful

December 19, 2025

OK, I’m going to provide a little last minute advice for upcoming family dinners.

Liberate yourself from the need to be Right.

Choose to be useful instead.

In The Mood

December 18, 2025

No, I’m not thinking about Glenn Miller, even though we’ve attended two WWII-era plays this season. (Great song, I grew up learning to play drums to big band music. Oh, to be 9 again.)

I think about how I (and most likely you) tend to wait until we’re in the mood to do things—perform a service, write that novel, say Hi to a friend, read Luke 1…

Professionals don’t wait until they are in the mood before they do the work. They do the work to get in the mood.

Same with us. Perform that charity service, write that note, visit someone. As you do, the mood will follow.

Sort of like yesterday’s thought—the world seems backward. The more we do good things, the better the mood we’re in, and the better the reciprocation of others. It spreads.

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Let Me Be A Little Kinder

December 17, 2025

Back when I was singing a lot of folk stuff, I ran across this  song by Glen Campbell:

Let me be a little kinder let me be a little blinder

To the faults of those about me let me praise a little more

Let me be when I am weary just a little bit more cheery

Think a little more of others and a little less of me 

Christmas occurs just over a week from today. By now you are probably frazzled by sending cards, finding gifts, attending parties, planning the big dinner. 

I don’t know about you, but you’re probably like me—the more frazzled I get with busyness, the less kind I am to others.

Today is a great day to pause, breathe, and treat the next person you see with kindness (even if it’s you in the mirror). Then make it today’s habit.

There is a weird truth—the more you show kindness, the easier it makes it to show more kindness. And even stranger still—the more you show kindness, the kinder other people are back at you. The more you share, the more there is. It’s a great thing.

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Too Much

December 12, 2025

I have everything I wanted and nothing that I need.—Lord Huron

I heard this song the other day. It resonated.

Don’t think that I’ve ever had everything I wanted, although life has been good to us.

Thinking of all I have that is in excess of what I need.

Thinking of generosity post a couple days ago. Maybe if I have what I need, I could live into a more generous life?

Where are you today?

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Spiritual Formation, Not Growth

November 24, 2025

We live in an era where every message encourages continual personal growth. Can I lift heavier weights? Score more followers on social media? Increase income year-over-year? Live a happier life? Go on more exotic vacations? More. More.

This focus on ourselves easily leads us into the lands of a narcissistic life. Not necessarily clinical diagnosis of narcissism personality disorder. But into that realm of self-absorption that turns off everyone in our path.

Spiritual formation, however, is my passion. Curiosity. Diving more deeply into spiritual reading. Consistent meditation and prayer.

Lest this interior focus take me (and you) too deeply into ourselves, we must remember the advice from the concluding chapters of Paul’s exploration of spiritual formation—his Letter to the Romans.

  • Let love be genuine; 
  • hate what is evil; 
  • hold fast to what is good; 
  • love one another with mutual affection; 
  • outdo one another in showing honor. 
  • Do not lag in zeal; 
  • be ardent in spirit; 
  • serve the Lord. 
  • Rejoice in hope; 
  • be patient in affliction; 
  • persevere in prayer. 
  • Contribute to the needs of the saints; 
  • pursue hospitality to strangers.
  • Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. 
  • Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep. 
  • Live in harmony with one another; 
  • do not be arrogant, but associate with the lowly; 
  • do not claim to be wiser than you are. Do not repay anyone evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all. 
  • If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 
  • Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay, says the Lord.” 
  • Instead, “if your enemies are hungry, feed them; if they are thirsty, give them something to drink, for by doing this you will heap burning coals on their heads.” 
  • Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Whew. If we can resemble the person described here, Jesus would certainly call us his disciple. Couple inward spiritual strength with outward acts that Jesus taught.

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Talking People Out of Hate

November 21, 2025

How can I expect people to listen to me if I don’t listen to them?

So asks black musician Daryl Davis describing his conversations with members of the Ku Klux Klan and various neo-Nazi groups.

This conversation  on Adam Grant’s podcast, ReThinking: Talking people out of hate with Daryl Davis and former neo-Nazi Jeff Schoep — Worklife with Adam Grant, could be one of the most important conversations you’ll hear. 

Davis recounts his early life as the child of a US diplomat living abroad and his first encounter with hate and racism at age 10. He couldn’t understand. “How can they hate me when they don’t even know me?”

Listening, with focus, and intent, without judgement, to someone whose views are anathema to us. This is so important. It is the beginning of conversation. It may not change the other person. But to them to realize they have been heard without shouting and condemnation opens doors that otherwise would be closed forever. And leading just one person out of a life of hate would cause rejoicing in heaven.

[Note: the link goes to my favorite podcast application. There was no link that I could find on Adam Grant’s website.]

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