Archive for the ‘Attitude’ Category

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There is Understanding and Then There is Opinion

January 18, 2024

Try out some wisdom on yourself that is at least 3,000 years old. I guess people have been the same since the beginning of culture. From the book of Proverbs (18:2)

A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing personal opinion.

We experienced that often even before social media amplified it I seldom watch TV news, but what I have seen amplifies this with the appropriate (trained) facial expressions.

I catch myself—have I researched this appropriately or am I merely parroting some thought that originated in Russia or China?

Or, perhaps we violate this additional warning (18:13).

If one gives answer before hearing, it is folly and shame.

How often we impulsively blurt out an often stupid opinion on someone’s problem without ever fully listening and understanding.

I have that problem, too. Working on it…

Posted in Attitude, Learning, Listening, Wisdom | Leave a Comment »

So You Want To Be a Prophet?

January 11, 2024

Parents sent notes. They came to my house. They pleaded. I was an elected member of the school board. There were parents who wanted us to start a “gifted and talented” program because they were convinced their little offspring would be the next Mozart—or something.

I advised seeing the movie Amadeus. Do you really want your child to be sub-threshold or even over-threshold psychologically disturbed?

These memories returned while I was thinking about how many “Christians” over the past 2,000 years have wanted to be prophets. 

For one thing, they thought that meant foretelling the future. They missed the part of the Bible where God says he hates fortune-tellers.

And they inevitably get it wrong.

And they think that means telling everyone else they have it wrong and they are all going to hell.

They don’t know. I’ve not heard of a human person yet who had the power to look inside another person and know for certain the status of their soul. Sure, people leave trails. But, I certainly would turn back any power vested in me to determine someone’s future. Although I’m sure that there are people who just love telling other people off.

They also, unless they had some weird persecution complex (check out Nikos Kazantzakis, The Last Temptation of Christ for a Freudian take on Jesus), they haven’t read and understood the bios of most of the prophets. They had lonely and frustrating lives.

You are what you are. As Paul once told a church that was messing up organizing itself, they should look at the spiritual gifts of everyone and everyone look at their spiritual gifts. They should be tested. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. That is the road to grief.

Note: we instituted a “gifted” program like everyone else. The teachers that first year said, great, we have the brightest kids, we’ll make them work. The parents said, our kids are in this special program, they should all receive automatic A’s that are worth 5 points on a 4-point scale. In the end, I don’t think it mattered much. There are many kids not from that program running around with MA’s and PhD’s. 

Note Two (don’t read if you are going to read the book): 

The last temptation was marrying Mary, having kids, and sitting on the doorstep enjoying family life.

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Optimism—We Must Live It

January 3, 2024

Reading through the Proverbs gives those of us trying to walk that path of wisdom a sense of optimism. We are with God and God is with us as we live that sort of life.

A news item in todays feed reported an increase of American consumer confidence (after a year of almost all good economic news). The reporter added a caveat—these are opinion polls and Republicans (this year) might be reluctant to say things are getting better at the risk of saying the Democrats were right. I imagine if the roles were reversed, so would be the opinions.

On the other hand, media stokes fear about dangers of artificial intelligence. There is more violence in the Middle East. The war in the Ukraine continues killing or wounding hundreds of Russian soldiers every day while destroying cities and towns. China is (as we say in diplomatic circles) saber rattling about its intentions in Taiwan. How can we be optimistic?

Or as Barry McGuire sang the PF Sloan song in 1965 (all this is hardly new)

[Chorus]

And you tell me over and over and over again, my friend

Ah, you don’t believe we’re on the eve of destruction

[Verse 3]

Yeah, my blood’s so mad, feels like coagulatin’

I’m sittin’ here just contemplatin’

I can’t twist the truth, it knows no regulation

Handful of senators don’t pass legislation

And marches alone can’t bring integration

When human respect is disintegratin’

This whole crazy world is just too frustratin’

But to live a sane daily life, we need some optimism. 

Eve of Destruction, PF Sloan recorded by Barry McGuire

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a German Lutheran pastor, who lived and died in the worst of times in Germany: 

The essence of optimism is that it takes no account of the present, but it is a source of inspiration, of vitality and hope where others have resigned; it enables a man to hold his head high, to claim the future for himself and not to abandon it to his enemy. 

An essential human trait is to “claim the future”, especially for those who live the with-God life. The time is ripe for us to grab this stance.

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Perceived but False Problems

November 30, 2023

“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that ain’t so.” — Josh Billings 

Peter Diamandis, engineer, doctor, entrepreneur, calls this an example of “Category 3 Problems.” These are perceived, but false problems. Problems that are either based on false data, outdated trends, cognitive biases, or a scarcity mindset. Most importantly (and perniciously), they prevent us from recognizing all the progress we’ve made and blind us to the opportunities in front of us for innovation and creating a world of abundance.

Diamandis preaches “abundance” thinking as opposed to “scarcity” thinking. Some people only see the negatives. Even when things are objectively better (like right now) people probably driven by a media propagating constant negativity and bad news feel as if they are living in scarcity.

I hear echoes of Jesus calling us to live in the abundance of the Spirit within the Kingdom of Heaven. I hear the apostle Paul describing the Fruit of the Spirit or life beyond the Law.

We can grab that life and learn to dispel those things we know for sure that just ain’t so.

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Let Go of Anger

November 24, 2023

Flashbacks of exploding in anger sometimes visit my conscious self. It’s embarrassing now. How frustrations or deep hurts overflowed into words and actions.

I could say that we live in an age of the angry young man where everyone is like that. Politicians around the world seem to be tapping into that anger. Except that angry young men have been around for decades—millennia even. Billy Joel released a song in 1976 described as a sardonic look at “the angry young man who will go to his grave as an angry old man.” 

Maybe I lost the edge of that anger when I became 25 or so and my brain finished growing (biological fact, in case you missed that in class). Or maybe years of meditation. Or maybe the times, especially in business, where I was metaphorically stabbed in the back by colleagues or friends, and I realized in the bigger picture, I was better off gone from that environment.

Looking at that bigger picture, would you like the vision of yourself as one of those angry old men (or women)? No one around you? Doing nothing for the family or community? Probably taking years from your life?

I can’t imagine that a person exists who doesn’t experience something sometime that lights a torch inside. A mark of maturity and growing spiritual awareness is revealed when we can let it go. Quickly. Before we say or do something foolish. Hitting that internal pause button before we hit the keyboard return button that will send that email or publish to social media.

How about if we go to our graves known as kind and compassionate rather than angry and bitter? We can do that. It does take work. And time.

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How To Lose Billions of Dollars

November 20, 2023

“How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire! And the tongue is a fire.” James the Apostle

How can you lose billions of dollars of assets?

I have heard many times, “I’m an American. I have a right to my opinion.”

My readings in literature and history teach that having an opinion is the human condition. Opinions are easy. Thought is hard. Informed opinions thoughtfully expressed are rare as a gem in the desert.

You can say whatever pops into your mind. On social media it is easy to just pop off something. And then you live with that forest fire that James warns us.

You can say what you  want, but there are consequences. Not everyone will agree. Many will vehemently disagree. There is no rule that you will not suffer consequences from saying stupid or inflammatory things.

These thoughts sprang from thinking about Elon Musk, agreeing publicly with a white supremacist X post then seeing companies bail out of advertising with his company. He can say what he wants, but others need not agree. 

“I’ve got a right to say what I want.” Yes, but that’s not always the responsible thing to do.

And again James teaches, “No one can tame the tongue—a restless evil, full of deadly poison.”

Your tongue, or your social media post, can create a whirlwind of emotions. Taking a breath before hitting the enter key asking if this is the responsible thing to do works wonders.

Posted in Attitude, responsibility, Wisdom | Leave a Comment »

The Story of a Family

November 10, 2023

Let me tell you a short story about a family.

Every member of this family lives their role as a server to each other. They look for ways to help. They anticipate the needs of other members of the family placing them before their own.

Just so, the wife serves her husband.

Being a family of followers of Jesus, the husband treats his wife well. He builds her up to be the best she can be. In fact, just like the example of Jesus, he is willing to give up his life for her.

The parents treat their children well concerned with their well being and education. In turn, the children respect the parents. (OK, when they are 2 and later as adolescents, there may be moments…)

When the family goes out, say to a restaurant, they treat the hostess and servers kindly. Same with sales associates at stores they visit.

I have been thinking about how to describe a modern family in English taken from Paul’s description of a family of Jesus-followers in first-century Greece taken from the letter to the Ephesians. Incidentally, the same passage often quoted by people to justify woman’s subservience to men. 

I also think Paul would similarly describe the  ekklesia, the gatherings of Jesus-followers that today we call the church. He seemed to be big on our finding our roles to best serve each other. And the community. And the world.

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Time–Time to Complain or Time Simply Adjusted

October 31, 2023

I’m writing this on a Tuesday early morning. It’s dark at 6 am. Next Tuesday the first lightening of the dawn sky will be upon me at this hour. For, the US switches from Daylight Savings Time to Standard Time Saturday night.

That means Facebook pages (used mostly these days by older adults who find change difficult to bear) will be filled with the angst of people not wanting to change. Newspaper editors will drag out the semi-annual stories of health risks supposedly caused by changing time. Politicians will jump on the bandwagon and promise to legislate Daily Savings Time into the dustbin of history.

And some, like me, will simply change the clocks Saturday before going to bed—well those that I still have to change—and get on with life.

We worry about so many little things. Sometimes we should emulate the iconic cover boy of Mad Magazine, Alfred E. Neuman, who said, “What, me worry?” For, almost every source of worry never happens.

It’s is healthier not to dwell in worry. 

If we must, how about worrying about what good we will do today? How we will be a little kinder to ourselves and others? How we will avoid being known as the community complainer?

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What the World Needs Now

October 30, 2023

What the world needs now 

Is love, sweet love 

It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of 

What the world needs now 

Is love, sweet love 

No, not just for some, but for everyone

Hal David and Burt Bacharach

Our business culture consists of a drive for continual and exponential growth. This attitude bleeds over to every organization. Think mega-churches. Every small church pastor dreams of building the next mega-church.

What did these organizations breed? Rock star leaders with egos growing to the size of the solar system. Preachers telling you how to behave while forcing assistants to watch pornographic movies with them. CEOs more interested in manipulating financial numbers in order to drive up stock prices so that their gifts of stock from the corporation will be worth billions. 

Think on this from David W. Orr, professor of Environmental Studies at Oberlin College:

“The plain fact is that the planet does not need more successful people. But it does desperately need more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of every kind. It needs people who live well in their places. It needs people of moral courage willing to join the fight to make the world habitable and humane. And these qualities have little to do with success as we have defined it.” From Ecological Literacy: Educating Our Children for a Sustainable World.

We don’t need another Willow Creek or Saddleback. We need people who will get up in the morning and treat the family well. They’ll leave the house and bring peace and healing to those they meet. Treat the planet with kindness. Spread joy.

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Excessively Gentle With Ourselves

October 25, 2023

Do you talk to yourself? What do you say? I will walk to a place and back and forget to pick up what I was looking for. I’ll say, “You dummy!”  That seems to be my favorite phrase.

Is yours worse than that? Do you say it too often?

The Irish poet John O’Donohue wrote a line found in his book, To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings,

Be excessively gentle with yourself.

Treating ourselves gently helps us develop the habit of gentleness. We can expand that to the way we approach others. Gently.

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