Author Archive

Nothing Destroys Like Insecurity

March 27, 2023

I know that my outbursts of anger germinated from a deep insecurity. Insecure people stock up on weapons and use them unwisely. They lash out at people close to them. Any success they may earn quickly evaporates. 

Mike Allen, cofounder of one of my go-to news sources, Axios, shares from his experiences with several organizations:

Nothing destroys more relationships, teams or companies than insecure people in power, Jim VandeHei writes. Why it matters: Beneath all bad motives, bad behavior and bad people — at work and in life — lurks deep and dangerous insecurity. It’s an insidious form of cancer that spreads effortlessly — and quickly. A little insecurity is normal and healthy. It grounds and motivates us. I’m talking about insecurity so deep it shapes a person’s character and decision-making. 

Mike Allen, Axios

If you find yourself in relationship with insecurity, run, don’t walk, to your next opportunity.

Progress, not Perfection

March 24, 2023

The famous body builder and “governator” Arnold Schwarzenegger has started a daily newsletter meant to be a positive corner of the internet. His prescription is to do something a day at a time. Mark it off on your calendar and then do it the next day.

It’s a bit like the way the language learning app I’m using to learn Spanish, Duolingo, makes a game of things in one place celebrating daily learning streaks.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

What’s your message to anyone who is struggling to get started on their fitness journey? This is my favorite quote for any type of self journey: “progress, not perfection!”

Striving for perfection is a race to frustration. A step at a time makes a steady progression toward the goal. Make your first step or your next step now.

Note: you can sign up for his newsletter here.

Pleasing Crowds

March 23, 2023

Going with the crowd gives one false courage. Social media encourages you to “like” and “share” posts that others have copied from most likely some foreign group. When there are already 400 likes, not like seems traitorous. Danish theologian Søren Kierkegaard had something to say about the crowds.

Christ was crucified because he would have nothing to do with the crowd (even though he addressed himself to all). He did not want to form a party, an interest group, or a mass movement, but wanted to be what he was, the truth, which is related to the single individual. Therefore everyone who will genuinely serve the truth is by that very fact a martyr. To win a crowd is no art; for that only untruth is needed, nonsense, and a little knowledge of human passions. But no witness to the truth dares to get involved with the crowd.

Søren Kierkegaard

Politicians in many parts of the world are claiming Jesus as their leader and yet trying to be the leader of the crowd, instigator of new political parties.

Jesus would say, that’s the easy part. People are easily persuaded.

The hard part, living the life of a disciple, like Jesus told the rich young man (or ruler in some translations). Do the hard part and live.

Seek To Change Yourself

March 22, 2023

“To a disciple who was forever complaining about others, the Master said, ‘If it is peace you want, seek to change yourself, not other people. It is easier to protect your feet with slippers than to carpet the whole of the earth.’”​

Anthony de Mello​

I was president of a high school sports booster organization. A man approached me. “We really should be doing X,” he informed me.

“That’s a really good idea,” I replied. “Could you head up a team to work out the idea and implement it?”

I never heard from him again.

I think that is similar to the disciple above. It’s easy to sit back and think about other people. There are things other people could do. There are ways other people could behave. 

What’s important is you, yourself. What can you do? To lead? To seek peace? To seek justice?

First, change yourself. The rest follows.

What’s Next?

March 21, 2023

The importance of leadership to an organization—church, business, nonprofit, family—cannot be over stated. Weak or no leadership leaves the organization adrift.

Myth: for one to exert leadership, there must a formal top position on the organization chart. The org chart usually reflects management responsibilities. Leaders can be anywhere. The are people with care, who read widely and talk with many people, who see a possible worthwhile vision of what could be. They don’t dwell so much on why as for asking why not.

The way we think about our priorities makes a huge difference. Leaders of every stripe make one thing more than any other: decisions. In any environment with constraints (which is, actually, any environment), the decisions about time and resources–about what to do next–change everything. How do we decide what’s next? Is it based on urgency, proximity or values? First in/first out is not a strategy, it’s an excuse. Even worse is the one about the squeaky wheels.

Seth Godin

The next step as Seth suggests is decision. And this is the decision—what is the next right action? That is our focus from hour to hour.

Responsibility Can Only Be Borne

March 20, 2023

I remember the rise of Vaclav Havel—poet, playwright, anti-communist dissident, president of Czechoslovakia and later the Czech Republic. His observation was true then and still true today.

An enormous conflict between words and deeds is prevalent today: everyone talks about freedom, democracy, justice, human rights, about peace and saving the world from nuclear apocalypse; and at the same time, everyone, more or less, consciously or unconsciously, serves those values and ideals only to the extent necessary to serve himself and his “worldly” interests, personal interests, group interests, power interests, property interests, and state or great-power interests.…

Vaclav Havel

Many people claim to follow Jesus in most places of the world today. Each of us must reflect on what ideals we are really serving—with our money, feet, beliefs, soul.

And what to do?

So the power structures apparently have no other choice than to sink deeper into this vicious maelstrom, and contemporary people apparently have no other choice than to wait around until the final inhibition drops away. But who should begin? Who should break this vicious circle? Responsibility cannot be preached but only borne, and the only possible place to begin is with oneself.

Vaclav Havel

Just as “free speech” does not imply irresponsible speech, merely saying you are a Christian does not cut it. Jesus himself said so, “Many people will call Lord, Lord, but I will not know them.

Just like parents preach to their youth responsibility yet live irresponsible lives as a role model, so we cannot either preach or learn from preaching. We must seize responsibility and act as true disciples.

And, yes, I’m aware of the irony that I’m writing these words—a form of preaching. But I’d rather hope that I’m encouraging self-reflection and then right action.

What Am I Doing Here?

March 17, 2023

Have you ever found yourself somewhere only to ask yourself, “What am I doing here? How did I get here?”

We can think geographically or socially or emotionally.

I immediately had flashbacks of being somewhere between 17 and 19 riding in a car on back country roads with a crazy guy going 100 miles-per-hour (160 kmh). What am I doing here?

Perhaps you were at a dive bar or other place where only trouble happens.

It could be a relationship. Or a job. Or a church. Or lack of any of those.

Now is the part of a normal religious writing especially for the Web where we offer 10 things you can do to improve your life or 7 sure steps to leave the rut. Or, if I were a fundamentalist, I’d just say “Find Jesus and all will be well.”

To quote George Costanza from Seinfeld, “I got nothin’.”

I wish I had a formula about how awareness grew within me. I became aware of where I was. Then I became aware of something better. And aware of someone or something that was trying to help.

Sometimes awareness follows a significant event. Sometimes awareness is like a small seed that grows within until the mature plant blooms within. “Ah ha,” we say to ourselves (or to a significant other person). “How could I have been so blind?”

I once was lost, but now I’m found; was blind but now I see.

What did I realize? I made choice that led me there. I could make other choices to lead me out. Maybe I just needed to recognize the pointers to help me with those choices.

Revealing The Passions of the Soul

March 16, 2023

Evagrius observed, “The spoken word or some movement of the body is a sign of the passions of the soul.”

He was writing to monks who had left society for the desert in order to find and live with God. Perhaps it helps to have visited one of those places in the desert in order to fix the scene in our modern minds. Seeing the world through their eyes as a battle between those forces that would have one or another of our passions control us versus the force of God. We can also get a sense from the story of Jesus going into the desert to face some of those temptations directly and thus solidifying his relationship with his Father.

Evagrius continued in this teaching, number 47 in the Praktikos, to discuss how the forces trying to undermine us use those signs against us while God knows our hearts at all times.

But we also can use those signs as we reflect at the end of the day on what we said or did in order to discern the state of our soul.

Only in that way can we further our spiritual development.

People who know us and care for us also use those signs to perhaps encourage us to find help when we might need it—a counsellor, therapist, pastor, workshop, 12-step program.

What goes on inside us inevitably reveals itself to the outer world. Guard your thoughts.

Practice the Presence of God

March 15, 2023

A fitness and longevity newsletter comes my way every evening. Last night relaxing before bed after driving to see our grandson in concert, I read to my wife about thinking of chores as a way of getting some exercise. She said, “Well, you could unload the dishwasher.” Always practical thinking of things for other people to do, that one. 35 years as a teacher.

During meditation time this morning, I thought I’d channel my inner Brother Lawrence, and unload the dishwasher putting away the dishes (OK, I needed a mug for coffee). Brother Lawrence was known for being in conversation with God while doing his kitchen chores or whatever else he was doing.

That we should establish ourselves in a sense of GOD’S Presence, by continually conversing with Him. That it was a shameful thing to quit His conversation, to think of trifles and fooleries.

I wonder if more of us were in continual conversation with God what the impact on our society wherever you are would be. I know I forget…often. But, Brother Lawrence adds some advice that sounds like the modern build-a-habit writers.

That in order to form a habit of conversing with GOD continually, and referring all we do to Him, we must at first apply to Him with some diligence: but that after a little care we should find His love inwardly excite us to it without any difficulty.

Discipline–Strict With Ourselves Tolerant With Others

March 14, 2023

Ryan Holiday wrote a couple of books and then found a lucrative niche writing about the Stoics. One of the leading Stoic writers of the first century was Seneca, whose thoughts so closely mirrored those of Paul that later Christian writers thought he was one of the flock. The Stoics (including Seneca, Marcus Aurelius, Epictitus, and others) were favorite thinkers influencing the founding leaders of the American Revolution.

Holiday, writing in his Daily Stoic newsletter, points out that Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius and Roman leader Cato both kept to strict personal disciplines. They avoided the ease and comfort afforded to such prominent leaders in ancient Rome. However each held their brothers in great esteem even though they didn’t adhere to such discipline. Gandhi was another person who held to strict disciplines. Discussing his wife, though, he noted, “Kasturba takes tea in spite of the fact that she lives with me. She also takes coffee. I would even lovingly prepare it for her.”

I don’t want to be a critic, but an encourager. But I am an observer and am often disappointed. Vociferous Christians have turned off a majority of Americans through efforts to tell other people how they are wrong, or bad, or sinful. Their efforts to enforce their personal views through law further drive people away from the most important message of Jesus—that of love.

Let us encourage one another to “take care of the speck in our own eye rather than worrying about the log in others.” Developing some strong personal disciplines is not a bad idea, either.