Posts Tagged ‘attitude’

Take a Walk To Change Your Mood

December 16, 2014

The best time is when you don’t feel like it.

Going for a walk when you don’t feel like it will change your mood, transform your posture and get you moving.

And if you don’t feel like talking with someone, bring them with you on the walk.

–Seth Godin

Seth Godin is a marketing guru. He’s written several books. Now he writes short blog posts. Here is one that really suggests wisdom relating to Spiritual discipline.

Sometimes you just can’t pray. Sometimes you just can’t study. Sometimes you just don’t feel like celebrating.

When you don’t feel like it, change something.

Going outside is a great mood enhancer. And a creativity booster.

I like his idea of bringing someone along for the walk when you don’t feel like talking with them. I know from experience.

This idea of intentionally asking someone for a conversation is powerful. There is a guy here in my town who is a genius at this. He even has me doing it.

Think I’ll go take a walk.

Treat People With Respect

December 12, 2014

Often on Fridays, I write about leadership. An incident occurred this week that jogged my thinking into leadership mode. Treating people with respect.

I have been “fired” many times. In the 1980s it averaged every two years. OK, obviously it wasn’t because I was reliving my old civil-rights-protester-rebellious phase. Usually, the company was going out of business. Once a boss and I tangled. I lost. He lost. (They fired him shortly after, but I was already gone and never returning.)

Almost all were handled with some measure of tact. There were a  couple where the president of the company went back on promises. But I had already taken the long view that the company was failing and that I already knew the president was a jerk. Although once I was fired by voice mail. That was interesting.

A friend went to work recently. Opened email. Message from the president (pretty much a jerk), “Clean out your personal possessions and leave the premises. You are fired.”

It’s a people business. It’s not that big of a business. How can someone run that sort of business with that sort of attitude?

But I’ve seen it often. Schools and churches have some of the worst supervisors I’ve ever seen. People can be mistreated in those organizations and the ones in charge seem to take a perverse delight in mistreating people. Smaller businesses come next. But I’ve seen real, er, jerks, in corporate America, too.

If you are in any kind of leadership whether in business, non-profit or church, remember that you are dealing with fellow human beings. Everyone deserves to be treated with a measure of respect.

Heck, surveys of people constantly return with the feedback that people prefer to feel respected and appreciated beyond the amount of money they receive. A bonus is nice and appreciated, but a compliment and fair treatment is remembered forever.

As a manager or supervisor of any organization, remember that we are taught to love our neighbor as ourselves.

Be Careful What We Say

December 5, 2014

“Out of the overflow of our hearts, the mouth speaks.”
Jesus’ words recorded in Matthew 11

December in the US, and I would imagine in many other countries, is a time of stress, worry, impatience, overwork. We must buy just the right present for everyone on the list. We must prepare tasty dishes for Christmas or holiday gatherings. We must navigate through family feelings for visits and gatherings.

What is the status of our hearts?

Out of worry, fear, insecurity, impatience, stress in our hearts things we say to others or write on Facebook may not be what we wish we would have said during calmer times.

In fact, when I look at Facebook posts from self-professed Christians, I wonder if Jesus would be honored by what is said or implied.

During Advent, let’s try to simplify things.

Stopping every morning before the day begins to have a cup of coffee or tea, read, meditate, pray, these all help us check the status of our hearts, slow us down, focus us on the important things.

Good ideas come when we slow down and focus.

We can defeat the negative emotions that can distract us just by getting our hearts right intentionally every morning.

Then, we don’t have that other worry of reading our Facebook posts and wondering just what we were thinking!

Successful People Are Those With Successful Habits

December 3, 2014

Advent. A time of preparation, anticipation, increasing excitement. We prepare our hearts for the celebrations around Christmas Day.

Advent may also be a good time to begin new habits. Perhaps better than New Years—since broken New Years Resolutions are legendary.

If you have not already incorporated an early morning routine into your life, this is an ideal time to start.

We wake up during this season to a lengthy list of things to do. We are behind before we start. Kids have projects. There’s baking for yet another Christmas party. When is there time for reading and reflecting. Where is God in all this?

An early morning routine can help put some sense and perspective into the season.

From Charles Duhig’s book, The Power of Habit, we learned about keystone habits—those habits that lead to other habits. Getting up a little earlier is one of those keystone habits. Even if it’s only 15 minutes at first, you’ll see the difference.

  • You’ll be less rushed
  • You’re in control of the morning
  • There is time for reading and prayer
  • As you learn to get up even earlier, you may find this to be the best planning or writing time
  • You will feel more peaceful
  • You will have more energy during the day
  • You’ll discover your days go much better

Try this out for Advent. It may just change your life.

Take Time To Be Grateful

November 21, 2014

This week I had a birthday while I was away at a conference. Some people knew and said something. I just said, well it’s just another day where I am thankful to be up and breathing.

Then I thought, well that is something to be grateful for. Maybe I should just pause right there and say a little prayer of gratitude for being alive, mobile, and alert.

Being grateful begins with that attention and reflection. Something good happened. I paused to recognize it and place my attention there–even if only for a few minutes. Then I reflect upon the thing for which I’m grateful.

I have a “to-do list” manager. Permanently on the task list is the note–practice being grateful. Every day when I scan my list of things to do, there it is. It forces me to stop in the midst of my hurry and think of something for which I’m grateful.

Sometimes it’s just for social interaction. Sometimes I wonder if I was born with some level of autism or Aspergers or something. I was pretty socially isolated as a youth and young adult. Studies show that being socially isolated is not good for your health.

Through business I know literally thousands of people (there are more than 6,000 people in my contact database, more than 1,000–I think–on LinkedIn. We’re not “friends” in a close way, but when I see them at conferences, it’s a good interaction. This week I saw more than 100 people I knew and could talk with for a while. It is energizing. I’m grateful to know so many interesting people.

If you have trouble with pausing from focusing on what you want or your cares and worries, maybe a permanent line item on your to-do list is the prescription. It reminds you several times a day to pause and think of something good.

Blessed Are The Merciful

November 19, 2014

“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.”

And again

“And the second is like it, you shall love others as yourself.”

Most people seem to have no problem with the last part of Jesus’ second command quoted above. We have no problems loving ourselves.

I see just enough people who can empathize with others to maintain my faith in humans. For so many seem to have little or no empathy.

My generation was dubbed the “Me Generation” years (and years) ago by Time magazine, I believe. I remember talking to a classmate in college about having empathy toward a professor who had a lot to offer, yet he wound up at a small liberal arts college in rural Ohio. “I don’t care,” he replied.

I have witnessed the very same attitudes countless times daily since then. “I don’t care.” “They got what they deserved.” “What orphans?” “So what?”

Even in everyday conversation. Do you ever catch yourself that your comments are all about yourself? Is it just occasionally? Or is it often. Try stopping to count.

Do you ever notice speakers whose every reference is about themselves?

How many of our generation will receive mercy?

I pray for a reaction by the next generations who may rebel against all that “all about me” thinking?

Taking Care Over Our Priorities

November 18, 2014

I’m usually writing this about 6:30 am Eastern time, but I’m in the Los Angeles area today. 5:30 am, I’ve been up for an hour. It’ll be a long day.

Yesterday, I wrote about marketing. And whether (or how much) marketers try to influence our perceived needs–especially by ever-increasing devious means. There is advertising disguised as editorial. Product placements in media or entertainment. And on and on.

Just yesterday, Wal-Mart sent me five emails promoting Black Friday sales. FIVE. (I’m on their list because I occasionally have actual prints made of my digital photos.)

While thinking about this a few minutes ago, Gary Haugen of the International Justice Mission was speaking about Christian responses to some of the most horrible things that humans are doing to other humans.

I just had to pray. Am I doing enough? Am I influencing enough to counter the now-global onslaught of advertising promoting not only consumption, but our misplaced priorities hidden behind the consumption.

There are good products. Products that enhance our lives and provide for enjoyment. But why do we buy them? Is it momentary impulse resulting in another piece of unused labor and material sitting on a shelf in the closet?

Let’s take care of our priorities first, then proceed into the market.

To Find Beauty Look At The Heart

October 30, 2014

Ever look at someone and judge beauty?

Notice the question is not gender specific? I’m a man, so I’m pretty familiar with what men do. But I’ve had enough conversations (or I’ve listened to others in places where I’m alone) to know that women do that, too. Maybe just differently.

Even just asking that question makes many people feel insecure.

It gets translated into thoughts such as “Am I beautiful enough” or “Why was I born this way” or “I need to lose x pounds”.

I work many days at a Starbucks that is embedded in a Kroger grocery store. Many people walk by. Years of refereeing has made me observant. I see a lot.

Yesterday I saw a woman who was quite attractive. But she’d never have a photo grace the cover of a women’s (or men’s) magazine. But you could just tell.

I thought, this is a little like Jesus. He was very observant. But he looked at hearts. He wanted to know the status of your heart. And there he found beauty.

Two questions:

What do you see when you observe people?

What is the status of your your heart?

Optimum Communication

October 29, 2014

My daughter recommended the book “Crucial Conversations” the other day. I now recommend it to you. It is a useful guide for both personal conversations (say, with a spouse) as well as for business settings whether for an individual situation or for meetings.

Achieving dialog forms the platform of the teaching. But perhaps we wonder what true dialog is.

Reading about Socrates as a youth, both through Plato’s writing and through a magazine series on the subject that I’ve long since lost and forgotten the title, bred my ideal of dialog.

A dialog is a conversation among two or more human beings on a topic that:

  • treats each person as an adult
  • moves the idea(s) forward to greater depth and understanding
  • is focused on the topic not the self

Accomplishing dialog requires focus on the other–what is said, not said, emotion, gestures. It allows for pauses as the conversation shifts from person to person. The reason for pauses is to give time to think rather than thinking while the other is talking.

It requires respect, in yourself as well as the others.

I have had great dialogs during business dinners (we don’t talk “business” the whole time, if at all) about life in the Spirit. I long for more dialogs about Jesus and the Spirit. They bring such joy.

There is much more to the book. I’ll share later. If you are about to have an important conversation with spouse, co-worker or boss, grab this book quickly.

Change Your Mood By Taking a Walk

October 24, 2014

Did you know that your walk reflects your mood? Trudge along slump-shouldered and you appear depressed. Put a little pep in your step and you look happy. Interestingly, it appears the reverse may be true as well. Changing your walking style can affect your mood for better or worse, according to new research from Canada’s Queen’s University.

The quote comes from the Website of Dr. Andrew Weil, a place I often visit for medical or health information.

My normal pace when walking is fast. I hate slow. I hate shopping, because my wife is slowly going through racks or through the store looking at things. I’m only interested in needs, not wants. If I need something, I know where it is. I go, pick it up, and get out.

Sometimes, I notice I’m walking more slowly, head down, no energy. Then I’ll think that I should be more energetic. I’ll need the energy to everything done that needs to get done that day. So, I pick up the pace.

Change my mood by changing my walk.

But, sometimes I’m thinking. I go out to walk around the block. I’m solving a problem or trying to conceptualize a lot of data into a bigger picture. It helps to be outside and take a walk. Or sometimes I am simply meditating. These time, I have no idea how fast I’m walking, because I’m deep in thought. Pace doesn’t matter. Being outside is what counts.

Watch how people walk. See if they are depressed or energetic. Check out how you are walking. Are their heads down, slumped posture, slow walk? Then consider yourself. Get your head up, shoulders erect, pace quicker and feel more positive and have more energy.