Brother Lawrence Shows His Relationship With God

November 2, 2023

What you are speaks so loudly it drowns out what you say.

Psychologists who study these things tell us that our children learn more from what we do and how we act than what we tell them.

We get passed aggressively while driving. The car gets around us. We notice a couple of bumperstickers proclaiming “Jesus Saves” and “Follow Me to Church.” We think, “If that’s Christian, I don’t want any part of it.”

I’m reading an early 18th century book on the life of Brother Lawrence. He was a monk in the late 17th century renowned for his walk with God. The book is Practice of the Presence of God.

As Brother Lawrence had found such an advantage in walking in the presence of God, it was natural for him to recommend it earnestly to others; but his example was a stronger inducement than any arguments he could propose. His very countenance was edifying, such a sweet and calm devotion appearing in it as could not but effect the beholders.

Reflecting upon such spiritual examples convicts me of my social shortcomings. When did I say something unkind? When did I fail to ask and then listen? When did I grab something at the buffet before someone else could get it? When did I ignore someone when I could have said a kind word?

Tools For Mental Health

November 1, 2023

The man who shot many people in Maine last week was described as having had mental illness. Media outlets throw that term about too loosely and in a manner meant to be pejorative. After all, media does not exist to enhance our mental health but to provoke our emotions so that we’ll read or listen more.

Just like my usual advice of reducing news consumption from these sources to a minimum, beware labels these journalists apply.

We all have issues. Sometimes we can deal with them through music or a jacuzzi. Or simply getting outside for a run or walk through nature. Sometimes they become more painful, and we need to talk to someone. Sometimes they are overwhelming enough where a professional counsellor will help us through. Sometimes even further there exist chemical imbalances within us where the only corrective help comes through appropriate pharmaceuticals.

Simply applying a label of mental health or lack thereof is not helpful.

We all need to strive for optimum mental/emotional health. I offer this podcast from Andrew Huberman, PhD. His is in my top three or four that I listen to every week. Sometimes they are interviews, and sometimes he researches and does a deep dive into a topic. In this episode he, well, let Andrew explain it:

In this episode, I provide science-based tools and protocols to improve mood and mental health. These tools represent key takeaways from several recently published research studies, as well as from former Huberman Lab guests Lisa Feldman Barrett, Ph.D., an expert in the science of emotions, and Paul Conti, M.D., a psychiatrist with vast clinical expertise in helping people overcome mental health challenges. I explain the first principles of self-care, which include the “Big 6” core pillars for mood and mental health. Those ensure our physiology is primed for our overall feelings of well-being. Then, I explain science-based tools to directly increase confidence, build a stronger concept of self, better understand our unconscious mind, manage stress and improve our emotional tone and processing. I also explain ways to better process negative emotions and traumas. This episode ought to be of interest to anyone wishing to improve their relationship with themselves and others, elevate their mood and mental health, and better contribute to the world in meaningful ways.

The “Big 6” Pillars

  1. Sleep & Sleep Routine
  2. Light, Sunlight, Dark
  3. Movement
  4. Nutrition
  5. Social Connection
  6. Stress Control; Physiological Sigh

Time–Time to Complain or Time Simply Adjusted

October 31, 2023

I’m writing this on a Tuesday early morning. It’s dark at 6 am. Next Tuesday the first lightening of the dawn sky will be upon me at this hour. For, the US switches from Daylight Savings Time to Standard Time Saturday night.

That means Facebook pages (used mostly these days by older adults who find change difficult to bear) will be filled with the angst of people not wanting to change. Newspaper editors will drag out the semi-annual stories of health risks supposedly caused by changing time. Politicians will jump on the bandwagon and promise to legislate Daily Savings Time into the dustbin of history.

And some, like me, will simply change the clocks Saturday before going to bed—well those that I still have to change—and get on with life.

We worry about so many little things. Sometimes we should emulate the iconic cover boy of Mad Magazine, Alfred E. Neuman, who said, “What, me worry?” For, almost every source of worry never happens.

It’s is healthier not to dwell in worry. 

If we must, how about worrying about what good we will do today? How we will be a little kinder to ourselves and others? How we will avoid being known as the community complainer?

What the World Needs Now

October 30, 2023

What the world needs now 

Is love, sweet love 

It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of 

What the world needs now 

Is love, sweet love 

No, not just for some, but for everyone

Hal David and Burt Bacharach

Our business culture consists of a drive for continual and exponential growth. This attitude bleeds over to every organization. Think mega-churches. Every small church pastor dreams of building the next mega-church.

What did these organizations breed? Rock star leaders with egos growing to the size of the solar system. Preachers telling you how to behave while forcing assistants to watch pornographic movies with them. CEOs more interested in manipulating financial numbers in order to drive up stock prices so that their gifts of stock from the corporation will be worth billions. 

Think on this from David W. Orr, professor of Environmental Studies at Oberlin College:

“The plain fact is that the planet does not need more successful people. But it does desperately need more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of every kind. It needs people who live well in their places. It needs people of moral courage willing to join the fight to make the world habitable and humane. And these qualities have little to do with success as we have defined it.” From Ecological Literacy: Educating Our Children for a Sustainable World.

We don’t need another Willow Creek or Saddleback. We need people who will get up in the morning and treat the family well. They’ll leave the house and bring peace and healing to those they meet. Treat the planet with kindness. Spread joy.

Church Growth? What Is The Real Goal?

October 27, 2023

Today is more of a meditative essay than short contemplative thought.

Many years ago I was involved in leadership in a church. The fad of the day was the Church Growth movement. Oh, yes, that continues even now 40+ years later. But I went off to church growth classes and seminars. Our small church probably had about 100 weekly attendance. We learned about building a building along the major highway or freeway. The building should be in the middle of a gigantic parking lot. There should be no traditional religious icons or art. The music should be contemporary. The speaker enthusiastic.

The goal copied from business (and actually borrowed from 19th Century Social Darwinism) focused on growth—growth in numbers of weekly attendees and growth in revenue.

I’m not sure anyone stopped to think about the real goal of a New Testament church. Oh, Bill Hybels at Willow Creek, the prototype of the genre, talked about an Acts 2 church. Trust me, they didn’t achieve that goal. Much good was undoubtedly achieved. But I wondered until I experienced it first hand. 

This week the Plough Daily thought drew from an essay by Charles E Cotherman (the link gives you  one of an allowed three page views, I believe). He said, in part (the entire essay is worth reading):

The drive for efficiency within local churches became more pervasive over time. In post-war America, it was often led by a revolving group of church growth consultants and expert communicators who built large ministries through the systematic appropriation of business techniques and large media platforms. But as local churches looked to top-selling Christian authors, famous television preachers, and well-known worship leaders, what they witnessed was a new kind of efficiency that rewarded those who had won the competition for market share. No wonder the temptation toward church consolidation and mega churches has been so compelling. Like Walmart, these larger churches have harnessed the power of efficiency to great effect.

Cotherman was concerned with small rural churches that at one point were considered “inefficient” (whatever that means). He noted, “What small rural churches can offer, however, is an opportunity to be truly known within the church and the larger community.”

My point evolves from that thought. What is the goal of the church? Is it really more about relationship? About people living the kind of life in the spirit (like in Acts 2) that other people are attracted? Is the goal number? Efficiency? Or better, isn’t it more about making the Good News  come alive within the lives of real people?

How?

Marketing guru Seth Godin wrote today about “Small groups, well organized.” He noted challenges for anyone seeking to make an impact.

  • First, we get distracted by the inclination to make the group as big as we can imagine. After all, the change is essential, the idea is a good one. It’s for everyone. Except that’s a trap. Because a group that’s too large cannot be coherent or organized. 
  • Or perhaps, we blink and settle for a group that’s too small. Change requires tension, and if our group is so small that it’s comfortable at all times, we are probably avoiding making an impact. 
  • And well organized? That’s the persistent, generous work of creating the conditions for deep connection. 

When in doubt, focus on how to organize the folks you already have. Find a way to give them the tools for them to tell the others. Build a resilient loop, one that gets more organized and powerful as you grow. The right-sized group and ceaseless peer-to-peer organization are the foundation of culture change.

I applaud the phrase right-sized. Remember the goal. Is it only numbers? Or is it lives worth living?

I am “thinking out loud.” What do you think? I encourage thought–whether or not you comment.

Get Out of Your Own Way

October 26, 2023

“Getting Things Done,” by David Allen swept through the ranks of knowledge workers twenty-some years ago. I actually have four of his books staring at me from my bookshelf. GTD, practitioners were called “GTD-ers”. 

People thought they would increase productivity exponentially (for the math challenged, that means by a lot).

They missed some of the points. The most important perhaps was clearing your mind. You need to cultivate a “mind like water,” that is, a mind that restores itself to tranquility soon after a random agitation. It’s what happens when you throw a pebble into a still pond.

You clear your mind by capturing your thoughts in a trusted place. This habit clears your mind—it no longer needs to keep it in random access memory.

Similarly, I just listened to executive coach and author Jerry Colonna talk about writing on his latest book during his annual two-month sabbatical (yes, he has taken a sabbatical that long for 20 years). He talked about productivity influencers instructing us to write 1,000 words/day. He was frustrated. Stressed. Then thought—I’m putting this stress on myself. Why don’t I get out of the way? Don’t stress. Get up. Write some. Go out and hike in the wilderness.

Maybe we have committee work. Or deadlines. Or wallboard repairs in the garage (oops, that’s mine).

Maybe we quit stressing about it. Write what needs to be done. Tackle these items serially. Don’t stress. When there’s an opportune time, work on it.

Cal Newport, author and computer science professor who wrote Deep Work, calls this slow productivity. I say develop workflows and just plug away at things without stressing over them.

Get out of your own way. Do what’s important. Rinse and repeat.

Excessively Gentle With Ourselves

October 25, 2023

Do you talk to yourself? What do you say? I will walk to a place and back and forget to pick up what I was looking for. I’ll say, “You dummy!”  That seems to be my favorite phrase.

Is yours worse than that? Do you say it too often?

The Irish poet John O’Donohue wrote a line found in his book, To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings,

Be excessively gentle with yourself.

Treating ourselves gently helps us develop the habit of gentleness. We can expand that to the way we approach others. Gently.

I Am So, So, Sorry

October 24, 2023

My wife and I just finished a six-episode English crime drama. The story can be told in summary like this:

  • People (many) take unwise actions
  • Everyone had guilt
  • Many were so, so sorry
  • Except maybe not everyone was really that sorry
  • Many were liars
  • At the end the star witness said he had lied, except he always lied throughout the show, was he lying when he said he lied?
  • Action, guilt, sorry, rinse and repeat

Life confronts us like this. 

Either we do something foolish or even criminal. We are hit by guilt. We think we can remedy the situation by expressing how we are so, so, sorry.

Except that words often seem short of sincerity. As if they are patching over the flaws. (Sine Cera—Latin, without wax, eg statue without wax covering over flaws in workmanship.)

Someone lies to us. Now, the conundrum. Do we ever trust that that person is not lying when they say something? Maybe. Maybe, not.

Saying I’m so, so, sorry really just begins the journey. It now takes time and actions to establish trust in the truth of those words.

Why Hate?

October 23, 2023

I read the blog of a technology innovator. He is Jewish, but non-religious, from New York City.

That always reminds me of a sales rep I had in NYC in the 1980s. When I met her, she said hi, I’m a typical New York Jew. I said, great, I have no idea what that means. She also thought that since I was from Ohio that I was a hayseed farmer. After we went to work making sales calls, we just became the marketer and salesperson trying to make a living.

Back to the tech blogger. He recently asked on his blog, “Why do people hate Jews?”

I have thought about that often during the past week since he posted it in light of the fighting going on right now.

I have no answers from psychology or analysis.

I have no answers to other questions of why one group chooses to hate another. It’s happening all around the world. It’s happening in your neighborhood.

An answer easy to say and evidently impossible to live comes from a teaching by Jesus—Love your enemies.

Maybe, just maybe, we could go out today and show kindness, kindness from the heart, to a person of a different tribe or ethnic identity or sexual identity? Do it twice and it may become a practice—a true spiritual practice.

Be Just a Little Kinder Than Necessary

October 23, 2023

Among my favorite podcasts is Huberman Lab from Professor Andrew Huberman, PhD, professor of neurobiology and ophthalmology at Stanford School of Medicine. Despite this impressive resume, he takes deep dives into topics and conducts interviews in a manner approachable to all of us.

The last episode featured Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett discussing “How to Understand Emotions.” She discusses her research over her career explaining what emotions are and how the brain represents and integrates signals from our body and the environment around us to create our unique emotional states. 

From the show notes, “We also discuss actionable tools for how to regulate feelings of uncertainty and tools to better understand the emotional states of others.”

They come together on some practical disciplines that I teach wherever I can:

  • Eat Real food
  • Get Good Sleep
  • Exercise

They conclude with two more essential ingredients for a good life that seem to be in short supply these days. Perhaps we can work these into our daily life practices.

  • Trust
  • Kindness

Another excellent podcaster, Tim Ferriss,, has begun concluding his podcast interviews with this phrase:

Be just a little kinder than necessary today.

Excellent advice for life.