Discretion

April 9, 2024

I was at coffee with a few others and announced, “Discretion is the word of the day.”

But I was in error.

It may be my word of the month. Or even the word to ponder for 2024.

An early leader of the Christian church, John Cassian, wrote this about discretion and the Desert Father Anthony the Great (St. Anthony in the Roman and Eastern traditions).

We believe that discretion is the true light of the body. It is our sole guidance for life. We call it our divine council. Like a city that has its walls destroyed and is not fenced in, so is a man who does anything without council. Our inward house cannot be built without discretion. Herein lies wisdom, intelligence, and understanding. A house is built with wisdom, and again it is set up with intelligence. With understanding, the storehouses are filled with all the precious riches and good things. The blessed Anthony maintained that discretion leads us in stages to God. It is the mother of all virtues.

Wisdom.

Intelligence.

Understanding.

Some would add discernment—the ability to see subtle differences and choose wisely.

Reflecting on life’s experiences and on what we’ve be taught or have read yields wisdom. Thinking about what we perceive develops our intelligence. Eventually we come to understanding. And our inner house is built.

Pen-and-Ink Theologians

April 8, 2024

I was a “straight-A” student in philosophy and theology at university. But my heart was never really in it. I still read philosophy and theology. I have subscribed to theology journals for short bursts to see what the discussions are. 

But all this theorizing and arguing in the abstract for all its apparent depth seems shallow.

I saw a comment on Ryan Holliday’s Daily Stoic blog about the Stoics not being “pen-and-ink philosophers.” Philosophy to them meant finding the best way of living.

The so-called “desert fathers” of early Christianity were much the same. Perhaps that’s why I am drawn to studying their lives. They fled to the deserts of Egypt and Syria and other places to escape the theological waves of controversies and persecutions of the 300s to the 600s. 

No “pen-and-ink theologians”, they tried to live out a spiritual life. They didn’t want to argue. They wanted to find God.

They were seekers. And not ashamed of it. And those of us today whose desert may be a bench in the park and who are seeking God need not be apologetic. We’re not in search of all the answers of the theologians. We’re in search of God.

Move The Ego Out of the Way

April 5, 2024

Why do we practice spiritual disciplines? Sit in meditation? Strain our mind in study? Try to focus on prayer? Go out of our comfort zone to practice bits of service to others?

Is it so that we can tell people at the next social gathering (or on our social media page) how good and dedicated we are?

Would that be our ego talking?

Ego gets in the way. Move it out of the way, and we can…

Sit with calm mind in meditation for many minutes or even hours;

Engage our curiosity to discover new meanings in our study;

Converse with God in a give-and-take conversation, talking and listening, called prayer;

Just help someone without thinking why—even a random act of kindness.

The comedian Flip Wilson had one of his characters often say, “Get behind me, Satan.” Adopt that phrase, “Get behind me Ego. Just let me be me, a seeker and a servant.”

Look To Our Own Improvement

April 4, 2024

Epictetus would say that just as a person delights in improving his farm, and another his horse, he delighted in attending to his own improvement day by day. (Quote thanks to Ryan Holliday at the Daily Stoic.)

When we arise following a good night’s sleep, where does our focus go?

Perhaps a cup of coffee and a walk or run outside becomes a perfect start. Our self improvement begins with that.

What will we do with the rest of our day? Will it degrade us? Or improve us? Will we be delighted?

Lessons for Life

April 3, 2024

Some Wednesday thoughts during an April (snow) shower.

Eating:

Emphasize vegetables over meat

Vinegary foods over salt

Whole fruit over juice and sugar

Chew more and swallow less

Eat food that looks like food and fewer ultra processed snacks

Health:

More sleep, Worry less

Laugh often, reduce anger

Act more, talk less

Give generously, reduce wants

Take long walks in nature

Walk more, ride less 

Resistance train, less time for social media

Read more good books, less time for social media

More good conversations over coffee

Living with Generosity

April 2, 2024

Generosity is not a specific thing that you do. Reaching into your pocket once to give a dollar for a street publication from a homeless person in downtown Chicago may feel good. Sending a payment to some cause you saw advertised may be a good thing. It may be a start. The beginning of a journey.

Generosity is an orientation toward life. You can live a life looking out in order to serve others. You can be intelligent with the way you manage your money. But you are not afraid to help out whenever you can.

The other life orientation is fear. You hoard all your resources from fear of being without. You don’t help because you feel that others are trying to get what you’ve got. 

The amount of wealth you have does not matter. Some wealthy people are generous. Some poor people are fearful. And the other way around. I have seen some “poor” people who are immensely generous people.

You can choose your orientation toward life. Generous or Fearful. Choose well.

Developing Your Strength

April 1, 2024

A little boy found a cocoon one morning. He took it to the local old, wise man down the street.

The man told the little boy, “A caterpillar wove this cocoon as a house for the winter while it changes into a butterfly. Watch this cocoon. Soon it will develop cracks. You will see a butterfly inside beating its wings against the walls of the cocoon. Do not help the butterfly. In time it will break open the cocoon and fly away.”

The little boy watched the cocoon, and sure enough cracks developed and he could see the butterfly beating its wings against the walls. Feeling sorry for the butterfly and wanting to help, the little boy broke open the cocoon. But the butterfly just laid still, limp, and then died.

He took this to the old man. “Little boy,” said the man, “you tried to help the butterfly, didn’t you? Don’t you know that the butterfly must beat its wings against the walls until it develops the strength to open the cocoon and fly. You deprived it the opportunity to grow strong.”

Just so in humans. Adolescents have the job of questioning and rebelling against the norms they see. Wise parents and adults allow this questioning and rebelling so that the child will grow stronger. They just establish guardrails far enough out to prevent danger while still allowing room for growth.

And as we age, our experiences still cause us to question and, yes, even rebel against God. For only by pushing against God can we allow God to push back and help us grow stronger. We find the limits of our strength and the beginnings of renewed strength thanks to God.

Good Friday to Easter-A Journey

March 29, 2024

It is probably a character flaw. 

I wrote that sentence this morning. I could not concentrate. Then we left for lunch. I have no idea where I was going, since I have so many of those “flaw” things.

I know I was contemplating the death of Jesus.

And how some people apply layers of theological thinking to the event.

And how some people enjoy (?) wallowing in the gory details of how a person dies during a crucifixion.

And how some people avoid those negative scenes.

Then, only the shift in time from Friday to Sunday. 

They knew he had died and been buried. But he was missing. Then he appeared and talked with a couple. Then more. Then lots more. Later (we don’t really know how long) he cooked breakfast on the shore of the lake.

Once again, there are those who overlay many layers of theology on the meaning of the events. 

But there were too many witnesses to be ignored. And the story spread faster than any lie (well, today thanks to social media, lies spread instantaneously, but they didn’t have X back then). Within a decade thousands of people found their spiritual searching fulfilled in the person of the Jesus who came back to life.

You can involve yourself in a multiplicity of theological disputes. Or, you can simply say, “I’d like to live with that guy who died and came back to life.” It’s called following Jesus and living with-God every day.

Assumptions

March 28, 2024

A trade magazine trying to drum up subscribers at low cost ran an ad on Facebook. The magazine covers the automation market and featured some sort of robotic agriculture application. I noticed it because I was a co-founder of that magazine although I’ve been gone for 11 years.

A few people commented. I was shocked. Comment on an ad?

The comments immediately took off on “illegal” farm workers losing their jobs and sopping up free unemployment compensation.

We as humans really like to metaphorically take the ball and run with it, don’t we? We assume so many things about other people.

I’ve done that. Still do, in fact. See someone. Make an assumption about them. Then I meet them. Talk with them. Listen.

I’ve met the most interesting people that way. Sometimes opened my eyes to a whole new world.

Want to bet the first Jesus-followers met some of the same attitudes? First, suspicion from those around them. Then, a conversation, perhaps. Then, it was “I want what they’ve got.”

Pronouncing A Name

March 27, 2024

My last name is reasonably easy for Americans and most Europeans to pronounce. But, because there is an extra letter (I don’t know why, can’t trace beyond great-grandfather and grandfather said he preferred to be called Gannon, go figure), sometimes moderators have stumbled during introductions. We call it MIN-tchell. Telemarketers from the south of the USA will say, “Hello, Mr. Mint-CHELL.” I have an immediate clue that I’m not buying. My wife gave her third-graders a small candy chocolate mint on the first day of school to remind them it was MINT-chell.

People with eastern European or African or Asian last names run into more than my minor problems with pronunciation of their last names in America. And switching venues, I’m sure the problem is similar is every culture.

If it is a first meeting, this can be expected. But if it is a colleague or employee or boss, a mispronunciation can go from embarrassing to career limiting. 

Elisa S.M. Fattoracci and Larissa R. Garcia recently published an article in the MIT Sloan Management Review with tips on pronouncing an unfamiliar name. I’ve included a link, but I think you must be a subscriber.

For me, it’s first listening and then catching the rhythm of the language. Here are some of their tips.

Ask. Various interactions afford you the opportunity to learn a name’s pronunciation. For example, upon meeting someone, ask how to pronounce their name. Even when the spelling of a name is consistent, its pronunciation can nonetheless vary.

Avoid unwanted nicknames. When you struggle to pronounce a name, do not resort to nicknaming the person without their permission. As a leader or manager, reflect on the potential message you might convey to an employee and their colleagues when using an unwanted nickname. 

Practice. As with most things that don’t come naturally to us, practice makes perfect. If you’re unfamiliar with the correct pronunciation of a name, it can be challenging to get it right. This is where practicing can go a long way. Write down the phonetic spelling of the name to help commit it to memory, or use mnemonic devices to help you remember the correct pronunciation. The key here is to keep trying and show respect by making the effort to get it right. Such efforts do not need to be advertised or used as a means of self-promotion.

Own your mistakes, and be open to feedback. When you misspeak, correct yourself and apologize. Again, modeling this behavior will foster a culture wherein employees feel comfortable voicing concerns and providing important feedback — such as how to properly say their name — and they feel welcome and valued. Research suggests that employees do not voice suggestions if they perceive that such efforts are futile.

Demonstrating care and dedication by actively practicing and remembering names is essential for helping employees thrive and feel included.

Set an example. When you learn how to pronounce a name properly, be sure to introduce the person using the right pronunciation for others to emulate. Similarly, correct any name mispronunciations, whether or not the person is present, to take the onus off of them. These actions will go a long way in establishing a high-quality relationship with your colleague and building an inclusive culture. If you are involved in planning a corporate event, business meeting, or any other type of gathering, consider providing name tags that include space for the phonetic spelling. Creating the opportunity to learn correct pronunciations and correcting others’ errors will take the burden off your employees.