Promoted Beyond Confidence

April 17, 2015

“We have met the enemy, and he is us.” –Walt Kelley, Pogo Seth Godin, famous marketing guru, has written several books, but now he writes short thoughts on his blog. Yesterday, he wrote a corollary to the Peter principle.

The original Peter Principle made perfect sense for the industrial age: “In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to their level of incompetence.” In other words, organizations keep promoting people up the organization until the people they promote reach a job where they are now incompetent. Competence compounded until it turns into widespread incompetence. Industrial organizations are built on competence, and the Peter Principle describes their undoing. Consider a corollary, one for our times: “To be promoted beyond your level of confidence.” Too often, the person who wrecks our work is us. In every modern organization with upward mobility, good people are promoted until they get to the point where they lose their nerve.

How often it seems that organizations promote people who were good at something, but they were not good at the new job. The original Peter Principle was derived from education. A teacher is good at communicating with children and controlling a classroom. Promoted to Principal, she must now supervise and motivate teachers as well as deal with more parents. Promoted to Superintendent, she must now deal with the school board and supervise and motivate Principals. Each move up the ladder requires new skills. Maybe in churches, a pastor is good at preaching and dealing with a few committees. Then going to a bigger church, now she must deal with more committees, supervise and motivate a larger staff, do more strategic planning, and upgrade preaching skills. Today in flatter hierarchies, Godin says the problem is confidence. He may have something. We get into something that we are no longer confident of handling. “How did I get into this,” becomes the question of the hour—or minute. It may be mostly the same skills, just on a different level. Leaders lacking in confidence may wind up micromanaging. Or they may withdraw. Either way, they become ineffective leaders. How do we gain confidence?

  • Seek out mentors
  • Study
  • Get over needing to be “the smartest person in the room”
  • Celebrate small accomplishments—both personally and with the team

What One Thing

April 16, 2015

I first heard Andy Stanley talk about Nehemiah several years ago. He boiled it down to a talk about What One Thing. That talk was just repeated (or given again) in this week’s Your Move podcast/video.

Combining this thought along with Dr. Henry Cloud’s thoughts on “Necessary Endings” significantly changed my life for the better. I’ve removed myself from a couple of dysfunctional relationships and found new focus.

Nehemiah was the man who served the Persian emperor Artaxerxes somewhere around 444 BC. He heard a report from his brother about the terrible condition of the walls around Jerusalem destroyed by the previous empire–that of the Babylonians (the two are still fighting each other, by the way).

He decided to do something about it. So he went to Jerusalem as sort of mayor and project manager and started rebuilding the walls.

This work was going so well that some enemies in the plains below the city got worried. They needed to get rid of Nehemiah and stop the work. So they sent a message to him as a lure into a trap to come down from the city (which is on a mountain) to meet with them.

Nehemiah replied, “I am doing a great work, and I cannot come down.”

Great Work

If you use this time of the year for reflection and rededication as I do, this is a great thought to meditate on.

What great work am I or should I be doing this year?

  • Ending a relationship?
  • Beginning a relationship?
  • Strengthening a relationship?
  • Breaking a habit?
  • Starting a new ministry?
  • Becoming more compassionate?

Figure it out. As we set our minds, so shall we become. Let’s set our minds on our great work.

Respect For People Key To Leadership

April 15, 2015

There was a person in a leadership role, but he failed to exhibit the least bit of leadership. Isn’t it amazing, yet sad, how often that sort of person exists?

People were like objects to him. Just names on a spreadsheet. Employees who were always trying to beat the system. They were always trying to get out of doing work.

He would even terminate people via email and then publicly humiliate them.

Ideas? He had all the ideas. Initiative? If you stuck your neck out trying to accomplish something in his organization, that just made it vulnerable for his next tirade.

He seemed to care about people at times. In the end, he really didn’t.

Sometimes he would have a flash of insight into himself and the organization and wonder why things were not going well. Why was the organization not growing and thriving? Why did people not seem to be happy at work?

But the feeling would quickly leave. It is hard work to truly lead.

The leader who truly leads the group (company, organization, department, committee) understands the value of people. She respects others and treats them as functioning human beings full of ideas and hopes and wanting to contribute and find meaning in the mission of the group.

Fortunately, these leaders exist. They trust their team members to do their jobs with appropriate follow up. They expect ideas and initiative and reward publicly those who try and communicate privately with those who need help or who fall short. “How can I help?” is the mantra of a leader.

Be Calm To Reach Successful Life

April 14, 2015

The Yoga class is in the final 5-6 minutes in what we call “final relaxation.” There are people, usually called mothers of young children, who look forward to this twice-a-week ritual. Freedom from demands, noise, worries. This is the first stage of meditation. For many people, it’s all they need.

Over the years of teaching, I’ve noticed a few people who just cannot settle in for even 5 minutes. Usually they are about 18 years old and female. Lately I’ve noticed a woman probably right in the middle of middle age (she has a daughter in her mid-20s). She cannot lay quietly.

Last night she mentioned it. I gave her some tips on sounds or visualizations to help her focus and calm her breathing. I told her it could change her personality. Become less up-tight, calmer in situations, reduce worry, feel less stress. It’s all actually quite healthful. Her daughter was encouraging her to try it.

This calmness is essential for truly successful living. We actually achieve more by seeming to do less. Those who live in a flurry of activity are often not all that productive.

Great examples are quarterbacks in American football. Their position demands that they be the leader. The great winning quarterbacks achieve a calmness combined with intensity that inspires the team in the face of adversity. Watching Joe Montana in his prime or Tom Brady today, we can see that in action.

Just 5-10 minutes a day of quiet will eventually change your life. You will begin to achieve that calm focus–or return to it when circumstances pull you into frenetic worry or something.

Oh, and my tips:

  • Focus on breath, consciously begin to slow its pace
  • If you like sound, repeat a sound in your head–doesn’t matter too much what it is–ahh, om, god, love, whatever
  • If you have visual imagination, go off in your imagination to a beach and feel the sand and hear the surf, or lie in a meadow in the mountains in summer, or maybe walk down a country lane seeing a gate in a hedge fence opening and entering and finding an orchard with a bench sitting on the bench and resting. You get the idea.
  • Do not force random thoughts out. Just let them drift away as you return to your breath.

There is nothing particularly mystic about this, so far. You will start to slow down your processes and stop fidgeting. I know many people who would be well served (and their followers) to practice this. There are 535 who meet in a great domed building in Washington, D.C., for example. You probably know others. Perhaps yourself.

Calm yourself, focus, achieve.

Andy Stanley—New Rules for Love, Sex, Dating

April 13, 2015

How many people have lost career, families, respect due to sexual passions run amok? How many marriages have you seen that just never got started off right?

Andy Stanley’s latest book, “The New Rules For Love, Sex & Dating,” is targeted at single people of all ages, but the wisdom works for all of us—even those like me who are many, many years past the subject.

Stanley is one of the best communicators in the Christian church today. I listen to him every week. He talks about focusing on making better decisions in order to live a better life. In other words, he’s not like the generation that was in charge during his (and my) youth that stopped at “thou shalt not” moralism. He applies teachings from the Bible much as common sense rather than finger pointing.

This book talks of relationships, treating people well, and how to handle those powerful emotions of “love” and sex. I single out the word “love” partly because we are just past Valentine’s Day where love is celebrated as an emotion. Stanly emphasizes, much as I always do, love as something you do, not always as something you feel.

I especially appreciate his descriptions of the elements of love that Paul the Apostle discusses in 1 Cor 13. Especially he defines patience and kindness as decisions. Of course, that is true. You decide in the moment that you will be patient in the situation. You decide in the moment to act with kindness toward another.

Decisions, though, when repeated lead to habits. You develop through your repeated decisions the habit of patience or kindness. It becomes a part of who you are. You become patient and kind, and by extension, loving.

Oh, and for sex—don’t do it. Well, don’t do it outside of marriage. His most powerful teaching, as well as the hardest, is for those who have left or are leaving a sexually active relationship that is floundering. Take a year off. Do not date for a year. Take time to be the person that the person you are looking for is looking for.

[DISCLAIMER: I received this book from North Point Publishing in exchange for this review. There was no guarantee what my review would be, though.]

Energy Is Key to Productivity and Much More

April 10, 2015

Last week I was driven to complete a lot of work in preparation for leaving town for a week. My energy level shot up several notches in intensity.

Much important work was accomplished. Items disappeared from my to do list at a gratifying pace.

Physicists know that energy is the underlying physical force in the universe. We know that energy is an underlying force for success in our lives.

Time management skills are good. Especially when tied to thoughtful construction of to do lists. But those skills don’t get things done. They organize you. Doing gets things done. And to do requires energy.

Ramping up energy has amazing benefits. After three days of higher personal energy:

  • My weight finally dropped below the plateau
  • My meditations, being active, brought more insight
  • Things got done
  • A consulting session with a client was fruitful
  • I was able to work through a travel schedule crisis calmly and effeciently

I teach young (and old) soccer referees to show energy on the pitch. When the players see that you have energy, they respond. They respect referees who are working hard. When you exhibit great energy, you’ll be in better positions to make better calls. You’ll manage the game better.

Same with our life in general.

That was good yesterday. Now what about tomorrow?

Practice Active Listening

April 9, 2015

Neurotic president of the company, “Gary, nobody listens to me.” Smarta** VP, “Huh?” President, “Nobody listens to me.” VP, “Huh?” President, “Nobody listens to me.” VP, “Huh?” President, “Ohhhhh.”

What’s Next After Easter, Part 2

April 8, 2015

Monday I asked a question to challenge all of you. After Easter, after the celebration, after the food, after the bunny, what will you do next?

Driving by a church Monday morning (actually I wanted to meet with someone there), I saw this sign on the door:

Church closed today
Recovering from Easter!

Hmmm.

A Call To Men To Be Clear

April 7, 2015

Gary Mintchell's avatarFaith Venture

Adam should have spoken up. He didn’t. We’re all screwed.

That is the problem statement of “Men of Courage” by Larry Crabb and others. Men are too often silent when they should speak up.

I had the privilege of working as part of a small team of local men who had an idea for a men’s conference. Call to Convergence was held this past weekend. We had no clue how many men would show, but we picked 75 as a good target number. 70 registered. It was a good weekend.

Our principle speaker used that book as the starting point of his talks. Men are called to speak up, to share. Maybe not sharing every emotion like women seem to be wired to do. But, as one person said after the Friday night talks, it’s all about transparency. Not hiding.

The solution part of the book calls men to mentoring…

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The Love Language of Receiving

April 7, 2015

Her love language is receiving. She just loves to receive things. If you wish to fill up her emotional love tank, then continually give her things.

I heard a message on that subject and expressed shock. People told me to read the book by Dr. Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages.

I did.

It’s all about attitude. The spirit with which you give…and receive. Much like the teachings of the spiritual disciplines which say that practicing the spiritual disciplines are not “works” that lead you to salvation but practices that will help you get closer to God.

Still, I wonder.

We live in an age of narcissism. An age of entitlement. For so many people, it’s “all about me” and what I can get. “I’m entitled to everything I have–and more. Just because I’m daddy’s little princesses or mommy’s little boy.”

For those who aren’t on the entitlement side of narcissism, there is the empty part. Those for whom it’s all about me but I’m empty. I need things to fill it. Each thing I purchase or receive fails to fill the void. I need more. But the more I have, the emptier I feel.

What stands out for me is that receiving is passive. Quality time is active. Physical intimacy is active. Service is active. Receiving is passive. Giving, on the other hand, is active. That’s where I thought he was going in the beginning of the book.

I’m sure this item has helped many. I think it’s dangerous in today’s societies. Be careful about the love language of receiving. Is it a void that can never be filled?