Faith Venture

Misunderstanding Can Lead To Distress

March 21, 2017

“I swear I don’t know that woman.” Man to wife at restaurant

An attractive woman who knows me stopped and waved Hi to me at the restaurant. Between us was a couple at a table. I waved back. Just a friendly greeting.

But the woman turned to me, “You know her? I saw your arm go up.” Her husband, worried (I guess), had protested innocence.

Cute. But those things happen.

We misunderstand. Make assumptions. Get confused. Make accusations. Become angry.

“Never assume malice if it can be explained by mere stupidity,” said a guy recently.

Someone makes a comment. We misunderstand and blow the whole exchange out of proportion.

We misunderstand a leader and go off and do something counterproductive.

Think of how often Peter, the apostle, misunderstood his teacher. Well, basically all the time. It caused him distress time and again. Especially at the end, when he denied even knowing him.

Between the thought and response is a gap. Do we shorten that gap and say something foolish? Or do we pause in that gap? Take a breath. Thought flashes in that gap–did I understand? Should I ask for clarification.

Between the thought and response lies our future.

Posted in communication, Disciplines, Wisdom | Leave a Comment »

Seasons Of Change

March 20, 2017

Today is the equinox. For us in the Northern Hemisphere, it’s Spring. For my readers in the Southern Hemisphere, it’s autumn. (Thank you to a new reader from Zimbabwe today.)

For those of us in temperate weather zones, it’s a time of changeability. Weather can go from cool to hot and back. We often get cloudy weather because of that changeability.

In spring we have the anticipation of rebirth, growth, life-giving warmth. In autumn, it is a time of harvest.

Spiritual writing often refers to seasons as periods of time. A season in life.

Perhaps we are in a personal season of rebirth and growth. No matter our age. We can experience these periodically.

On the other hand, sometimes it is the season to harvest from our hard work.

I wonder, do we often just slide through life without pausing to ponder what season we’re in? Not realizing that it is time for rebirth. Study something new. Develop a new friendship. Get a new job. Start a new career.

Maybe you are in another season. There is a benefit and a danger to every season. When we pause and reflect asking for discernment, we can find our response to the season we’re in.

Either way, seize the day as the Romans said “Carpe Diem.”

Posted in Awareness, Disciplines | Leave a Comment »

Knowing And Doing

March 17, 2017

To be is to do – Socrates; To do is to be – Sartre; Do Be Do Be Do – Sinatra

I first heard that old joke in grad school years ago. Sometimes it’s good to poke fun at serious thinking that gets too serious.

The suggestion has been made by various people (including me) that instead of making new year’s resolutions or setting goals, determine what sort of person you want to be in the coming year. Who do I wish to be?

The value of an idea lies in using it. Thomas Edison

We then have to act on that vision of who we want to be in order to actually become that person.

Merely sitting around and wishing doesn’t make it.

The same holds for knowing and doing. Knowing how to fix a car or a leaky faucet has no value unless you actually fix the car or stop the leak.

When Jesus gave us his commandment, it wasn’t to know something–“Love the Lord your God … and your neighbor as yourself.”

How many people have spoken those words and yet their lives bear no resemblance to them?

How many times do I have to not do what I should before I can incorporate what I should do into my daily life?

And sometimes we just go through a day singing. And that’s not all that bad.

Posted in Disciplines, Doing, Wisdom | Leave a Comment »

Our Inability To Judge Others

March 16, 2017

I grew up a Cleveland Browns fan. Save your sympathy. I am still sort of a fan, but it’s hard to be “fanatic.” (For those of you overseas from here, that is a team that more-or-less plays American-style football.)

When the team re-started after the owner moved them to Baltimore, the owners hired a succession of people who supposedly knew the sport and players to run the team. 24 quarterbacks later (over 18 years), they still have not picked one who is talented enough to play at the professional level.

The point is that even experts in a field cannot judge talent before hand.

How often do we pre-judge others? How often are we accurate?

All the time. And, seldom.

Yet, we still do it. It’s a rush to apply a label so that we know how to deal with the person.

We see a man with neatly combed hair, dark suit that fits, white dress shirt, and necktie. We meet a young woman with tattoos up the arm. Five piercings in each ear and a piercing through the nose. Unkempt hair.

Which is the person who can’t be trusted?

Actually, my guess goes toward the guy who is probably either a lawyer or politician 😉

We don’t really know, do we? Not until we talk with them. The preposition is with, not at.

One of the things I learn from Jesus, whom I follow and try to emulate, is that he gave people a chance to show themselves. He knew a lot about types of people. But he seldom said anything until they spoke and revealed their hearts. Then he would comment, help, or turn away.

There are so many things we prejudge. And so many ways we are wrong. About people. About talent. About schools to attend. About jobs to take or churches to attend.

Awareness of our weakness is the first step toward true observation.

Posted in Attitude, Awareness, Disciplines | Leave a Comment »

We’re Not God, Get Over It

March 15, 2017

“First, you’re not God. Second, this isn’t heaven. Third, don’t be an ass.” –Advice to a Jesuit (from “The Jesuit Guide To (almost) Everything“, James Martin

The quote was intended for someone entering the order and for living in community.

It applies to all of us.

It was an accident. I was just getting some oatmeal at breakfast. But there he was. Three feet away at most. Staring right at the camera, not looking up and to the left (a sign of lying), saying facts that had just come out were not true. It was a flat-out lie. Then he started to mix up various words to confuse and redirect the issue.

You’d be thinking politician. In this case, you’d be right. (Notice, please, that I didn’t specify which one. You’re imagining someone of the other party from you right now–right?)

But I’ve seen it in business leaders caught with their hand in the till–or other places they shouldn’t have been. Religious leaders–yep.

Who do they think they are? God?

Then there are the people who think they, and only they, know all the rules of life you should be living by. They quote some Bible verses from whichever Bible they like. But only some.

It’s easy to tell other people what to do. Just be sure to avoid those teachings that point back to me and my followers.

It’s hard to be humble. Sometimes we just don’t want to be. But there comes a time when we have to realize that we’re not God. There is a God already. And he doesn’t like it when people try to usurp his role. Things don’t work out well.

Sometimes when we are pretending to be God, we actually look like an ass.

Posted in Disciplines | Leave a Comment »

Never Shut Your Heart

March 14, 2017

“Take care, take care never to shut your heart against anyone.” –Peter Favre, one of the first Jesuits

Yesterday while scanning the news, I saw some quotes from some of our Congresspeople. My first thought was, what a clueless bunch!

But last night at a reception at a conference in Houston, Texas, I got into a conversation with three men. We all come from different areas of the country. We discussed how we are formed by where we’re born and brought up. Some things are just “natural” to us do to the circumstances of our birth.

We are not locked into those circumstances. We can choose to grow, leave, discover new and different ways.

Beware looking back at the people who stayed and shutting your heart. They are who they are. (And boy did I learn a lot about Creole people from south Louisiana.)

Beware shutting your heard against someone you happen to meet. Truly you can find some great human beings just by being open to asking questions to people you just meet. Somebody said to me later, “You guys were certainly having a good time. We could hear you laughing over here.”

I met all three for the first time last night.

There are biological reasons why people can hold on tight to an opinion even in the face of overwhelming reasons why they are wrong. That is life. You might as well recognize it, not condemning the person for ignorance or whatever, and just love them the same.

Shutting your heart to others only sets up barriers around your life preventing you from having great experiences. You just never know where God is going to show up.

Posted in Disciplines | Leave a Comment »

Love Ought To Manifest Itself In Deeds

March 13, 2017

“Love ought to manifest itself more by deeds than by words.” St. Ignatius Loyola

Ever heard the phrase “paying lip service”?

Some people talk well. But their actions, well, their actions leave much to be desired.

There was a character in the old Leave It To Beaver TV show called Eddie Haskell. He was a teenaged friend of Beaver’s older brother, Wally. When he saw the parents, he was always obsequious and complimentary. But when it was just kids, then he was an altogether different person.

Who do you know that is like that?

There was a guy who worked for me once. I hired him. Worst mistake I ever made in business. It shook my confidence in my ability to pick good teams. Our team at Automation World restored my confidence. We put out the best magazine in the industry for eight years. But this guy, he was a piece of work. He’d as soon stab you in the back as look at you. But to your face–Mr. Nice Guy.

I could see the long term and knew the company was doomed. So I didn’t fight anything. It was time to get out before the company closed. He got my job–but only for a few months before it was all over and they shut down. Meanwhile, I was off to a better place that really built my career.

What you do speaks so loudly that one cannot hear what you say. What you do had best be love.

Feelings are not always trustworthy. Words do not always mean what they say. But actions. Let your love be manifest in how you act and what you do.

Posted in Disciplines, Love | Leave a Comment »

Overcoming Our Own Ignorance

March 10, 2017

“Our mind is the instrument of knowledge, but it is very imperfect and filled with all sorts of ignorance.” John Climacus

The Ladder of Divine Ascent has been on my “to read again” bookshelf for a long time. John is so perceptive. It’s an education in psychology as well as spiritual development to read his work.

It is easy to see ignorance everywhere–everywhere but in ourselves, of course. Does your heart ever ache at those times when someone seems ignorant on purpose? Proud of it? The answer is right there in front of them, and they stubbornly cling to an idea completely different?

I actually took a couple of years to study brain science to figure that out. But, I digress.

Have you ever stared at a passage of Scripture and then exclaim, “Oh, that’s what he’s saying???”

Happens to me often.

I try to be open to new ideas. New interpretations. Open to God breaking through and going “Open your eyes, dummy, and learn this.”

Two things help. One is to read a lot. I watch about 3-4 hours of TV a week (well, plus another 4-5 hours of soccer, but that’s s different story). Otherwise I read.

The other is meeting people. Not just seeing people. Meeting them. Christian fundamentalists. Ordinary Christians. Atheists. Pagans. Muslims. Hindus. Buddhists. And having conversations. And listening. And seeing people as people–God’s children.

Know what? People are different from what you see in the news. Some people like to see their names in the news. Most people try to live a moral life as best they can. Most Christians I meet no matter what flavor of theology are just trying to live a spiritual life an hour at a time. Quietly. No headlines. No anger. No hate. Just people.

We have to watch our minds. Root out our ignorance through continual learning. Listen to someone today.

Posted in Compassion, Disciplines, Learning | Leave a Comment »

Fill Me Up, Or Kindle A Fire

March 9, 2017

Enthusiasm is a fire to be kindled not a vessel to be filled.

So, this email proposal came my way. Register and come down to our conference and let our team fill you to overflowing with enthusiasm.

I’m sure these are great people. They no doubt believe in what they are doing. And, like all God’s children, they need to earn a living.

But enthusiasm leaks.

It leaves a trail behind of dribbles to puddles.

Have you ever been to a lecture, conference, church service, or whatever else where one of those speakers skilled at getting you fired up is leading?

How fast did you lose the enthusiasm? Could you remember much even the next day?

I did not attribute the quote at the beginning because I made it up. But the thought comes from many ancient and not so ancient philosophers. Socrates used the phrase regarding education. Steven Covey also borrowed it.

So how do you kindle the fire from within?

Work on something you believe will change the world for the better.
Work with people who are focused on the same ends and also a joy to be with.
Eat well–meaning appropriate nutrition, balance.
Exercise your body appropriately.
Exercise your mind–read inspirational things first thing in the morning before you get hit with the day’s bad news.
Pray/meditate several times per day.

How does that old song go? “It only takes a spark, to get a fire going.”

Posted in Attitude, Disciplines | Leave a Comment »

Anger And Bitterness Disappears Before The Fragrance of Humility

March 8, 2017

Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.

After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. –Zen proverb

Enlightenment. The direct experience of God.

I began meditating some 45 years ago with the goal of enlightenment. This meditation became known as Centering Prayer promulgated by Father Thomas Keating among others at the time.

Then I began exploring the Desert Fathers and came across John Climacus and his work, “The Ladder of Divine Ascent.”

These writers and mystics went beyond enlightenment in a way. What they worked diligently on was bringing our entire life before God. Later, Richard J. Foster (“Celebration of Discipline“) called it the With-God life.

John Climacus wrote, “The first step toward freedom from anger is to keep the lips silent when the heart is stirred; the next, to keep thoughts silent when the soul is upset; the last, to be totally calm when unclean winds are blowing.”

There are people who seem to exist only to stir up those hearts, blow up those unclean winds.

Notice that John considers anger something that binds us, imprisons us.

He continues (this is Step 8 on the Ladder of Divine Ascent, by the way), “Just as darkness retreats before light, so all anger and bitterness disappears before the fragrance of humility.”

Humility–putting others before us in our attitude and awareness. When we leave behind being so wrapped up in ourselves and begin to consider others, then we have taken a step with-God.

The Zen proverb tells us that enlightenment is good, but we still have to live out our lives every day. John Climacus is one of those guides who can help us.

Posted in Attitude, Awareness, Disciplines, Spirituality | Leave a Comment »