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Dear Prudence

January 8, 2024

I don’t know how many times I have read the eighth chapter of the book of Proverbs. I stared at the words and one word popped into consciousness—prudence. Why have I not pondered that word before?

The associated thought was the song from the 1968 Beatles “White Album” written by John Lennon to Prudence Farrow, the sister of actress Mia Farrow—Dear Prudence.

There was a time when the fashion was to name girls after positive character traits—Hope, Grace, and yes, Prudence.

But what is prudence? Why should Wisdom, the narrator of the Proverbs, emphasize it?

Prudence is a discipline of oneself, a behavior of minimizing or avoiding risk, making good and careful decisions.

Pause here and reflect on all the hasty and ill-taken decisions taken. They come flooding into my consciousness.

Just as we need to count to ten (or count to ten ten times) before replying to certain statements, a pause before making a final decision on a purchase or a course of action is also, well, prudent.

A person even into their 20s who rush into decisions would look at prudence as crimping their freedom of action. For those of us who have been burned by bad decisions, we have learned prudence. Rushing to decision—or when someone is pressuring us to rush into a decision—usually turns out for the worse.

Prudence. Yes, a worthy character trait to infuse into our lives.

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Whatever Else Get Insight

January 5, 2024

As the story goes, Solomon was about to become king at a young age. God said to him, what would you like? Solomon asked for wisdom. He got enough to fill two books. His renown for wisdom spread through the known world.

Yet his life was a shambles. His son destroyed the kingdom in short order.

Reading through the book of Proverbs every January starts the year off providing a solid foundation for which to build a good life in the new year.

Buried in the beginning of Chapter 4 lies a bit of a warning.

Get wisdom, and whatever else you get, get insight.

Wisdom itself will not provide the righteous and good life. People with PhDs who have no sense about how to live are more numerous than stars you can count at night.

Insight—accurate and deep understanding; the capacity to gain understanding; to perceive clearly or deeply.

Do not merely read through the proverbs. Take some time daily to ponder them. Think about the meaning. Think about how these apply to how I will live today.

Need an example of wisdom without insight and the ability to live out the wisdom—think Solomon.

Don’t be a Solomon. Be like someone who puts wisdom into action—be like Jesus.

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For Learning About Wisdom

January 1, 2024

A chapter a day for the 31 days of January. (I promise not to write about Proverbs every day, although that wouldn’t be a bad idea. My mind searches too broadly to stay on topic.)

Why read the Proverbs (and actually any other Wisdom literature):

For learning about wisdom and instruction;
For understanding words of insight;
For gaining instruction in wise-dealing, righteousness, justice, and equity;
To teach shrewdness to the simple, knowledge and prudence to the young;
To let the wise also hear and gain in learning, and the discerning acquire skill;
To understand a proverb and a figure, the words of the wise and their riddles.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge;
Fools despise wisdom and instruction.

[Note: fear of the Lord does not mean to be afraid, rather, it means living within the awe and reverence of God however you define he/she/it.]

From the Prologue to the book of Proverbs. I couldn’t have said it better. So I won’t try. The types of people you will meet–the wise seek learning, the simple can be taught, the fool shuns learning, the scoffer cynically derides learning.

And Happy New Year 2024. Many blessings to you all for a great year.

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31 Days of Wisdom

December 29, 2023

Let’s begin the New Year with a proper state of mind and attitude.

How about 31 for 31?

January has 31 days. The book of Proverbs in the Old Testament has 31 chapters. One chapter of wisdom a day for the month of January. That should orient us for success this year.

As a special bonus for yourself, turn to the first book of the New Testament and read Matthew chapters 5-7 as a daily companion. Matthew is firmly in that Jewish wisdom tradition. Called the Sermon on the Mount, this is most likely Jesus’s standard teaching as he traveled the countryside preaching. Ground yourself this core teaching about how to live.

I retired from active soccer refereeing about seven years ago promptly gaining some weight. I started lifting weights which added muscle—and weight. Then Covid plus moving to a new state disrupted my routines not helping.

This year I made slight tweaks in workout and diet. Nothing drastic. Just eating less. Cutting out or reducing greatly foods that add weight (chips and sugary crap). Increasing aerobic intensity a little. Dedicating more effort to resistance training. 104 deg hot tub four days a week (great for metabolic health and longevity). I’ve dropped 12 pounds and more than an inch from my waist. Steel cut oats for more than half of my breakfasts helped drop cholesterol to the low side of good.

You don’t need drastic lifestyle changes unless you need to drop lots of weight. Small changes done consistently make all the difference (assuming no other overriding health issues).

Here are two tips for subtle changes with big impact. Ten fruits and ten foods added to your diet replacing ultra-processed and sugary foods.

Ten Fruits

Blueberries
Apples
Oranges (not juice)
Raspberries
Blackberries
Prunes
Tomatoes
Bananas
Watermelon
Avocados

Ten Foods

Quinoa
Eggs
Salmon
Sweet Potatoes
Potatoes
Blueberries
Almonds
Spinach
Lean Chicken
Oatmeal

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How To Lose Billions of Dollars

November 20, 2023

“How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire! And the tongue is a fire.” James the Apostle

How can you lose billions of dollars of assets?

I have heard many times, “I’m an American. I have a right to my opinion.”

My readings in literature and history teach that having an opinion is the human condition. Opinions are easy. Thought is hard. Informed opinions thoughtfully expressed are rare as a gem in the desert.

You can say whatever pops into your mind. On social media it is easy to just pop off something. And then you live with that forest fire that James warns us.

You can say what you want, but there are consequences. Not everyone will agree. Many will vehemently disagree. There is no rule that you will not suffer consequences from saying stupid or inflammatory things.

These thoughts sprang from thinking about Elon Musk, agreeing publicly with a white supremacist X post then seeing companies bail out of advertising with his company. He can say what he wants, but others need not agree.

“I’ve got a right to say what I want.” Yes, but that’s not always the responsible thing to do.

And again James teaches, “No one can tame the tongue—a restless evil, full of deadly poison.”

Your tongue, or your social media post, can create a whirlwind of emotions. Taking a breath before hitting the enter key asking if this is the responsible thing to do works wonders.

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Avoiding Stupidity

October 5, 2023

“Avoiding stupidity is easier than seeking brilliance. 90% of success can be boiled down to consistently taking the simple and obvious action for an uncommonly long period of time without convincing yourself that you’re smarter than you are.”

Some days I am convinced that I cannot avoid stupidity. It just seems so natural.

This idea of consistent, simple, small and obvious actions is powerful. Every swim meet last year I encouraged my granddaughter with “that’s great, just a little better every day.” And this year she is having a great year as a freshman on a very good high school team.

I go to the gym. My routine with dumbbells varies a little, but not greatly. I am lifting five pounds more per set than at the beginning of 2023. Small victory, but victory nonetheless.

The same happened with mediation. A few minutes a day, day after day, until one day weeks later I noticed the change in personality and outlook.

I still perform occasional acts of stupidity. Fewer than before, maybe. But overall these small acts do add up.

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I See Men As Trees Walking

October 4, 2023

For several months of looking through my study window about 6 am at meditation time I saw green grass, trees, bushes, birds, people walking. Now in early October, it is dark out. I can see just the blurred dark swath of trees and bushes. Then dawn rises. I gradually make out individual trees and bushes.

That probably relates to the phrase found in so many stories—it suddenly dawned on him.

But this takes me back to a country gospel song I first heard from Johnny Cash based on Mark 8—I see men as trees walking. Jesus touched a blind man, and that was the man’s response. Then Jesus touched him a second time, and he could see clearly.

We often experience coming to understanding that same way. Patience and perseverance pay.

Several things I’ve read over the past couple of weeks have nudged me to put aside my anti-Aristotelian prejudice and read Thomas Aquinas again. Last night witnessed the beginning of this journey. Summa Theologica Part 1. (I self-identify as Augustinian rather than Thomist; Neo-Platonist rather than Aristotelian.)

I struggled through the first few questions and proofs. Then, just as the dawn’s light brought those trees into view, I got the rhythm and sense of direction of the writing.

It’s the same—reading the Bible or a teacher’s text or even learning some new math equations. With patience and persistence, meaning will come.

Posted in Awareness, discernment, Learning, Wisdom | Leave a Comment »

May I Say I Don’t Know?

October 3, 2023

Has it ever happened to you? Someone asks a question. You don’t really know the answer. But we feel the urge to say something. Anything. Sometimes out of pride we make up an answer. Maybe something we heard on YouTube. Maybe something overheard on the street. It may or may not be accurate. But who cares? We needed to fill the silent void.

I was trained to write with certainty, to develop an argument, to be persuasive. And to speak that way. Even when I am throwing out an idea expecting pushback and discussion, people take it as definitive. End of discussion.

Sometimes we need to say “I don’t know. What do you think?” Sometimes just a simple I don’t know:

When someone asks how a virus spreads…

When someone asks how to interpret a difficult Greek text…

When someone asks about politics…

When someone asks, why God…

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Body and Soul

October 2, 2023

The beginnings of Yoga according to tradition came from the desire to train the body to be able to sit in meditation for longer periods of time.

Have you an awareness of when your body tells you it just isn’t in peak form for thinking or undertaking a new task?

I had many good meetings last week in Folsom, California at the software conference. I was curious about many things. That led to many discoveries—about the software, about how people used it, and about problems they were all trying to solve.

There was one meeting that was quite unpleasant. The pain remains four days later. Rule 1 for exercising outside. Do not walk or run on a sidewalk. I was finishing. My inner brain guided me to the sidewalk outside the hotel. It was dark. There was one of those flaws you fear where one of the squares has raised. I couldn’t see it. My hands and knees met the sidewalk at full force.

The next three days revealed to me the barest glimmer of life with pain. Even with ample doses of Tylenol the brain struggled to focus on writing. I am much better today (Monday after the Thursday morning fall), but the feeling lingers.

Sometimes I make a poor food choice. Then I can feel it. I have trouble sitting and focusing on what I want to do. I know—I choose poorly.

This must be the reason the Apostle Paul used so many athletic metaphors and examples. The body is the temple, take care of it. He knew that to keep up the pace of meetings, speaking, traveling, writing, and his spiritual health, he had to maintain the physical body.

Yes, intentional physical activity and nutrition and sleep are key elements toward pursuing a rich spiritual life. Take care of yourself. And don’t walk on sidewalks, especially in unfamiliar places, in the dark!

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Build the Life You Want

September 29, 2023

Arthur C. Brooks teaches a happiness class at Harvard Business School. Students line up to take the class. Probably because the place is filled with people looking for happiness in all the wrong places (to paraphrase a song).

Oprah Winfrey read his bestseller, From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life, contacted him and invited to her home in California. They hit it off and agreed to collaborate on this book just out this month, Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier.

This book is readable and practical. Much of this I know and practice. Many will not have heard of this research and story. This will help you and/or someone you love.

Let’s begin with “Happiness is not the goal, and unhappiness is not the enemy.”

Philosophers from ancient times have known that happiness is a byproduct of living, not the goal of living. Yet, each generation must learn the lesson anew.

The first chapters discuss managing our emotions.

The four pillars are discussed in detail in the remainder of the book:

Family
Friends
Work
Faith (Find Your Amazing Grace)

I leave you with two takeaways.

Augustine of Hippo (St. Augustine) gave a student three pieces of advice.

The first part is humility; the second, humility; the third, humility; and this I would continue to repeat as often as you might ask direction.

Another takeaway.

We need to detach ourselves and become free of sticky cravings. We honestly examine our attachments. What are yours? Money, power, pleasure, prestige—the distractions we sought to be free of with greater emotional self-management? Dig deeper. Just maybe they are your opinions. The Buddha himself named this attachment and its terrible effects more than twenty-four hundred years ago when he is believed to have said, “This who grasp at perceptions and views go about butting their heads in the world.” More recently the Vietnamese Buddhist sage Thich Naht Hanh wrote in his book Being Peace, “Humankind suffers very much from attachment to views.”

Posted in Attitude, Awareness, emotions, Wisdom | Leave a Comment »

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