Archive for the ‘Living’ Category

To Do Is To Be

December 31, 2014

Be as you wish to seem.
–Socrates

We know that you can change your mood just by changing how you act. Feel down, smile. Feel a little lethargic, go for a walk.

Personal development gurus, back when it mattered how you dress, advised dressing and acting like someone in the position to which you aspire.

I asked myself earlier this week, what sort of person do I want to be. I need to decide that before I do things like setting goals and that sort of thing.

Socrates turns the thought around, although in reflection I think I disagree a little with him.

He makes it more external. How do you wish to be seen by others? That’s one way to take the word “seem.”

I think I’d turn it around and make it a play on words which is a great memory tool. “Be as you wish to be.”

Be—as in act—as you wish to be—as in the type of character you want to develop the type of human that you would be recognized as.

We are presented opportunities every day to prove and improve our character. We choose to act or not act in the face of each opportunity. We can choose our model to help us do the right thing. That is the meaning of disciple—we are disciples of someone whom we wish to be like.

Pick your model—the one whom you will follow—wisely. Then we try to act at every opportunity like our teacher/mentor/model.

We can choose. Choose wisely. Then go and do. Or, be as you wish to be.

Healing Starting From The Heart

November 7, 2014

Wife got a new bread knife. It is sharp. Cuts bread, even thick crusts, as if it were warm butter. Cuts thumbs, too. Twice. I’m a slow learner. The last one was pretty deep.

I notice the healing is from the inside out. It also takes quite some time to heal.

Sort of like us spiritually. We need to heal from emotional and spiritual hurts also from the inside out. That is why Jesus was so concerned with the state of our hearts.

Jesus expressed to the Pharisees that it is not the food that defiles but what comes out from the heart. He also said that when we forgive, we need forgiveness from our heart. We should also love the Lord our God with all our heart. He condemned “hardness of heart.” On the road to Emmaus, the disciples hearts were burning. And “As the scripture has said, ‘Out of the believer’s heart shall flow rivers of living water.’ ”

Just as we need to eat right, exercise, reduce stress to take care of our physical heart and improve healing, so we also need to feed our minds, exercise in prayer and meditation, and focus on God to set our spiritual heart right and heal our souls from the inside out.

Living Life Tricks

September 15, 2014

Steve Jobs was an enigma for those of us deeply immersed in technology. He was a genius who drove the Pixar movie studio to become a significant force in Hollywood. He was a genius who rescued the company he founded, Apple, from the doldrums and not only created a company with immense financial value, he brought us some great computers (I have a MacBook Pro), the iPad (which I’m using to compose and publish this post), the iPod (where I stored my music and podcast library and used when I worked out), and the iPhone (which replaced my iPod, Palm Pilot and various mobile phones).

He also was an arrogant jerk by all reports, but people who worked for him were intensely loyal.

He also left behind some ideas worth hacking into our own lives to become more productive and meaningful.

Focus

I read a story about Steve when he first returned to Apple and sat in a product review meeting. I use the story often when advising companies or people.

It seems he listened to product managers describe an extensive array of products that Apple was producing. He got up and said something to the effect of let’s cut out the crap. We’ll focus on a limited number of desktop computers and a limited number of laptops. And we’ll make these great.

And they did.

Focus is so important. We get distracted so easily into so many things. Then we accomplish little. And it is so easy to slide out of focus.

Throw the crap out of your life. Focus on the few things that are important. Children, family, the one thing that will make your work or ministry most effective. Be great at it.

Delegate

There is a story that comes from Apple, but it is a technique I used in the mid-80s when I managed project managers designing and building machines.

We would get toward the end of a project and the customer would come in and things would be floundering. I’d get up, go to the white board and draw a matrix. I’d list the tasks to be done, who was responsible, and the due date for completion. It’s said that at Apple all meeting should end with a list of tasks and a directly responsible individual.

If you are leading a team of any kind, or even within your family, practice defining tasks and delegating by putting someone in charge. Some managers think that they need to do it all. Some people think that they need to do it all. Say no and delegate to others.

Get more experiences

Jobs was a legend in the technology industry. He had a Liberal Arts background (I don’t think he completed the degree). Famously, he started just auditing a bunch of classes just for the heck of it. He took a calligraphy class. From that experience, he made the first Macintosh a much better machine and revolutionized the computer industry.

I appreciate that because I had a technology background but didn’t finish that degree. I wound up with a Liberal Arts degree and became a staunch believer in the classic Liberal Arts. Not as “soft” subjects that are an easy way to a degree like it became in the 70s.

I took a wide variety of courses that confounded my advisor. Math, extra foreign languages, writing, literature, philosophy, international politics and culture. I learned to learn, think, communicate. The basics of an educated person.

  • Take some way-out courses
  • Travel
  • Meet new people
  • Say yes to one new work experience or ministry
  • Learn another language

Someone on TV used to have “stupid dog tricks.” Try doing some smart life tricks. And it’s never too late.

Decisions Determine Our Life Story

August 21, 2014

God must be trying to tell me something. Three time this week so far the message “Your decisions determine your life story” has occurred.

What life story do you want to leave behind? Andy Stanley explored that in this week’s Your Move message. What do you want people to say about you years from now?

Every day you make decisions, large and small–mostly small, that determine your story. Did you decide to help or hinder? Did you decide to stir up trouble or to be a peacemaker?

Aristotle said that we are what we repeatedly do. He went on to say “Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.”

Did you know that the word “decision” seldom occurs in the Bible? I just looked it up. In the NIV, there were 27 instances of the word, and all but 4 were in the notes. Proverbs only uses the word once. But the entire book is about the effects of our decisions.

I’ve made perhaps four major decisions in the past year. One was on the whole not good–a business decision that caused me some amount of grief. But most of them have turned out well. They have determined the direction of my life for the next few years. And I’m happy with that. And I think God is.

But I wonder–what other decisions am I facing big or small that God is warning me about by putting that message in front of me this week? Or, maybe I’m just supposed to pass along the wisdom.

You Become What You Worship

August 8, 2014

“You become what you think about.”

Earl Nightingale, a writer and radio broadcaster, researched what made people successful in life for his entire life. His thought had a great impact on me.

After many years of reading the world’s greatest thinkers, it occurred to him that over and over he read that our thoughts determine our actions. We become what we think about.

The Menlo Park Presbyterian Church is replaying “Best of…” messages this summer. This week I listened to a conversation with theologian N.T. Wright. I’ve only read one of his books, but he’s now on my shopping list for more.

He dropped this comment into the conversation, “You become like what you worship.” Sound familiar?

Jesus taught that you cannot worship both God and money. Do you worship power (Mars in the ancient world)? Love/sex (Aphrodite)? The ancients knew psychology.

If your thoughts, like the prevailing worldview of the Romans, dwell on power and how you can obtain power over others, you may or may not become powerful in the eyes of the world, but you will become shallow, cynical, not liked, and apart from God.

Many of the objects we worship–even if we don’t call it worship exactly these days–lead us to personal places of loneliness, despair, unhappiness. We just go from experience to experience looking for the next high.

Focusing on God through the disciplines of study, prayer, meditation, service, and so on lead to a personally fulfilling life.

We become like God.

Love As A Way of Being

July 18, 2014

Jesus said that this is how his followers would be known–by their love.

English much to the poverty of its ability to define expression only has one word–love–that means so many things. The Greeks, at least, had three. No wonder we become confused.

We make love–meaning having sexual intercourse which all to often has nothing to do with love.

We say “love you” to end conversations leaving the other person wondering if that is just a phrase like “honey” or “darling”.

We tell another “I love you” when what we really mean is we want something from them.

We use the term to refer to the rush of hormones.

Love rightly understood in the context of the New Testament is the direct opposite of the world view of the Romans, which was the world view of all the societies Rome ruled.

The Roman view, which led to a state of being, thinking and acting, was that of power and authority.

For Jesus, love was the opposite. If you follow Jesus, you are the opposite of a follower of Rome. Love is first of all a state of being–that’s just what you are. You live not in a world of power thinking only of yourself but in a world of thinking of others first.

Love is an attitude we carry with us. It is a way of looking at ourselves and others.

It comes from our relationship with God carrying over from that strength to always being aware of the needs of others and aware of how we can help (serve) them.

In this way, Jesus turned the Roman Empire on its head.

The early Christians added to their groups many just because they actually lived differently from others in the same city and society.

This has not always been the case with Christians. Or people. Even today we have such bitter conflict with the taking of many lives. We ignore or worse punish many who have deep needs. And we say we are Christians.

Would Jesus say of us, “I know you are my followers because of your love”?

Letting Anger Pollute Us

July 8, 2014

The US was caught up in World Cup fever even more than in the past. Soccer news has become more prominent. Unfortunately, not all that news is good. A referee in Michigan was just killed when an adult player became angry with a call and “sucker-punched” him in the head.

I’m not going to weigh in on the Second Amendment arguments, which carry more emotion than logic anyway. I do watch with increasing discomfort the wish of many to want to carry guns with them wherever they go. So many of the people I know about or read about who want guns are carrying anger with them. If there is someone I definitely don’t want around me, it’s someone with anger issues carrying a weapon where once you pull the trigger, there’s no “do over”.

Politics in America today involve much anger. I’ve read about “angry white men.” But there is no monopoly on anger in the country by any one group.

The thing that disappoints me more than about anything is reading Facebook posts from self-proclaimed Christians that are full of anger and cynicism.

Let’s look into Proverbs for guidance. “One who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and one whose temper is controlled than one who captures a city.” (16:32)

I can remember a time in my life when anger was perhaps my controlling emotion. Then one day I had one of those experiences where you are outside of your body watching yourself in action. I thought, “How stupid.” I was maybe 13.

As Robert Burns, the Scottish poet put it (from Wikipedia):

Burns original
O wad some Pow’r the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!
It wad frae mony a blunder free us,
An’ foolish notion:
What airs in dress an’ gait wad lea’e us,
An’ ev’n devotion!

Standard English translation
And would some Power the small gift give us
To see ourselves as others see us!
It would from many a blunder free us,
And foolish notion:
What airs in dress and gait would leave us,
And even devotion!

That one experience led to a life of controlling anger. Realizing that anger is an honest emotion that can help us overcome obstacles. But uncontrolled, it is a blazing sword that severs relationships and a poison that pollutes our lives.

The antidote is the inner peace and security that comes from nowhere but God.

Flexibility

June 30, 2014

Flexibility

Many people, like me, practice Yoga in order to achieve flexibility of the body. As we age this becomes a necessary part of keeping our bodies, God’s Temple, in the best working order that we can maintain.

Going on any sort of mission trip is another form of practicing flexibility.

You meet new people. That requires some personal flexibility—especially as we strive to understand them. These people will have a different culture and outlook on the world than us. Understanding this helps us practice flexibility. These people will view us differently from the way we view ourselves. Understanding this helps us practice flexibility.

Sometimes our professional life requires flexibility. My career has been one of flexibility by necessity. I have worked for a variety of companies. Some I left because of economic downturns. Some due to mistakes of the president leading to financial setbacks. Some because it was time. There was no more growth and creativity required.

Today’s world requires flexibility from us all in order to survive with our sanity. Practice flexibility.

How Far Can I Go Before?

June 6, 2014

How far can I go before it’s a foul? I teach the Laws of the Game of “The Beautiful Game” (soccer). My students are almost always people who wish to become referees. Sometimes it’s parents and players who wish to know more about the game.

Once I gave a presentation before a group of parents and players at a high school that was just starting a soccer program. There was very little experience among the entire group.

The boys kept saying, “All we want to know is how far can we go before it’s a foul.”

That statement reveals an utter lack of understanding about the game.

Christians can be the same. How far can I go before it’s a sin? How much sin is too much before God gets really mad?

Andy Stanley is re-running his “Guardrails” series on his “Your Move” podcasts. The idea of guardrails is that there are situations that occur in your life that should remind you to stay on the road.

Maybe I get myself into the wrong situation with the wrong people. Then that “uh, oh” feeling visits. That is a guardrail. I’ve gone almost to far off the road and I have been given a reminder to get back on the road before it’s too late and I get into big trouble.

In soccer, the referee watches the challenge for the ball. The two players are fending each other off. Then one gains an advantage by giving a push. “Tweet” goes the whistle. Everyone looks while the referee points the direction of the free kick that is given as the result of a foul.

In life, we don’t necessarily have that immediate referee (unless it’s a good parent or partner). We seemingly get away with a little foul. Then another. Then it’s our way of life. And we’re thrown out of the game.

We need to establish our guardrails to help us not get off into the danger beyond the road.

Finding Energy Amidst Dysfunction

May 27, 2014

For reasons I fail to fathom, God has placed a number of dysfunctional people into my life over the past few years. I’m not sure what’s going on there. One thing is true–relating with dysfunctional people drain my energy.

The essence of our being is energy. We need to keep our energy up to function effectively.

What to do when our energy sags? For sure, our practice of Spiritual Disciplines is deeply affected by our energy level.

The first thing is to be aware of our energy level. Do you feel the ebb and flow of your energy level?

Notice what you eat. When I eat a heavy meal in the evening, my evening studies or work are shot. Too much fat in the morning breakfast can bog you down for the entire day. There is a saying in German that is a play on words that translates to English, “Man is what he eats.”

When you notice energy lagging during the day, get up. Take a short walk. Get outside. The best way to work if you do thought work is to work in 25-45 minute bursts of concentration followed by a short break.

Meditation is a good energy booster. Sit back, close your eyes, focus on breathing. It’s a great way to refocus.

Many famous people have sworn by afternoon naps. A few years ago the concept of “power napping” became popular.

Keeping the body fit and healthy is a foundation for generating energy.

Thinking about things we are grateful about refocuses our mind and generates energy.

Then watch our attitudes. As we think, so we become. Where are our thoughts? Change our thoughts and attitudes, change our energy level.