Archive for the ‘Living’ Category

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We Are So Self-Deceiving

September 14, 2015

“People are masters of self-deception.” Andy Stanley during a recent podcast.

I was talking with a guy I know last week. He calls a group of friends. Several times a week. But he’s OK. Never talks longer than 10 minutes–except last week I really got him into a conversation.

You see, he has Aspergers (or he slides somewhere on the autistic spectrum, or whatever the phrase du jour of the DSM is). He is a bright individual. He knows more about country music than anyone I know. But he lacks much in the way of social skills. 

I’ve learned the hard way, never tease him. Actually, don’t joke. He’s always serious. Even worse than me (sometimes I think that I had a touch of that–the two readers who knew me in elementary and high school would probably vouch for my almost total lack of social skills).

But we talked about his bouts of depression. I don’t know to what degree he’s still in therapy. But he is quite aware of himself. He asks why he gets into those depressions. Last winter he was in a dip and I suggested it might be the weather. Told him that often people get depressed toward the end of the winter season. He remembers that. But the temperature was 90, and he was beginning to feel depressed.

I’m impressed.

There are many people I have known in my life who have conditions. Everyone knows they have something. Often it’s something that would warrant a diagnosis and treatment. But they have no clue.

One of the prevalent conditions of our time is narcissism. People who exhibit those tendencies never see a problem. They are somewhat aware that they think first of themselves before others, but they don’t see that as a problem. They think it’s just natural. Trust me, I’ve asked the question of several. 

Paul addesses how to live your life in the last third of the letter to the Romans. After laying a theological and psychological foundation about sin and redemption, he continues to answer the important question–after believing that God raised Jesus from death to life, now what.

Paul essentially quotes Jesus–love God and love your neighbor. Read chaper 12. It’s a wonderfully succint guide to life. 

On the road to self-awareness and seeing through your self-deception, it is useful to have a means of measurement. Chapter 12 of Romans provides one of those measures.

Are you loving? Or, are you deceitful? Do you try to understand and help people? Or, are you more concerned with getting what you think you deserve? Are you in a loving, supportive community?

How do you measure up? What can you do to change your life direction such that you do?

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And Immediately He Went

September 10, 2015

The gospel of Mark contains few extra words. Its compact style with well chosen words moves the reader along with the story.

I’m always struck by the phrase, and immediately he went. 

It seems that Jesus went from place to place quickly. 

Yet, he seemed to have exquisite focus on whatever task lay before him. Heal. Teach. Move. Pray. Heal.

Does that sound like our lives? Do we try “multi-tasking” only to get lost in missing details and focus. Do we try concentrating on two or three things at a time?

I’m trying to keep two blogs current with almost daily thoughts and news. I’ve invested in a coffee cafe and am doing some marketing for it. (Need to get a return on my investment.) After a request from a pastor, I took on a staff role leading missions for my church. August and September are extremely busy months for assigning referees to soccer matches.

On top of it all, I pay my bills by doing research and analysis within the manufacturing technology market along with management and marketing consulting. A big job came my way. Its start was delayed. Its end date wasn’t. It needed to be done in August and September.

I’m betting your lives could have similar scripts. Family. Church. Volunteer. Job. Housework. Yardwork.

The key to survival lies in the ability to focus on one thing at a time. I write everything down I need to do. I’ve mentioned before I use an app called Nozbe (affiliate account, by the way). That way I don’t worry about forgetting something. But looking at the entire list is overwhelming.

Then I remember that old joke–how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

I just tackle one thing. Concentrate on only that. Usually 25 minutes then take a short break. That’s called the Pomodoro technique. Sometimes, like this analysis project, I dive into research so deeply that an hour or two pass without my even noticing the passage of time.

Then it’s time for a break. Then focus on the next task.

I think I’m in good company. Many famous and successful people work that way. Thinking about the gospel of Mark–I think Jesus worked that way, too. Focus, work, break (refreshment/prayer). Focus, work, break. 

There is a refreshing rhythm to that pace. Sometimes the break can be 5 minutes of the Pomodoro technique. Sometimes maybe for a day or two.

Find your rhythm. Read. Pray. Meditate. Work. Play. Rest.

Accomplish more. Stress less. Focus on the important things.

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We Need To Make a Contribution

August 26, 2015

This is the moment — this is the most important moment right now. Which is: We are about contribution. That’s what our job is. It’s not about impressing people. It’s not about getting the next job. It’s about contributing something.”                                                                  — Benjamin Zander

I used to say of my parenting goals that I wanted to raise independent, healthy people who contributed to the common good of our society.

Don’t know how much it was because of me, but they both turned out that way.

My fatther was in many ways a servant. That may be the only thing I learned from him. Probably for different psychological/emotional reasons. But still I desire to serve. I want to contribute good things wherever I go.

Living in this time of a Narcissism Epidemic, the number of people who think it’s all about them rather than about contributing is astounding.

So many wish to retire and do nothing. Or maybe one little thing at church. When they have a lifetime of experience and skills that could be used to contribute to someone’s life or a worthwhile organization’s impact.

Taking a musical metaphor (with a bow to Zander), a band or orchestra is only good when each part contributes to the whole. That band or orchestra is only outstanding when every member contributes excellence.

Want to live a fulfilled life as a disciple of Jesus? Try making a contribution. Contribute to someone’s life. Contribute to an organization doing the right thing. 

Make a contribution…and live the free life.

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Don’t Live in Denial

August 5, 2015

“Every day ain’t a happy day.”

Have you ever met someone who is perpetually happy? They are always smiling. Do you wonder if they ever crash?

I was listening to Harvey Carey speak at Willow Creek on podcast from the Aug. 1 gathering while taking my annual run along Lady Bird Lake (Colorado River) in downtown Austin, Texas. I’m attending a technology conference and had a long day on Monday. So no post yesterday.

He told a story about a “testamonial” service at a little Baptist church in the south. 

A woman stood up and said she would like to give her testamonial. “Ever since I accepted Jesus 35 years ago, I’ve never had a bad day. The enemy has never entered my life.”

The pastor said to the congregation, “Let’s pray for this woman.” She said, “Why?” He replied, “When you are walking with the Lord, you will face headwinds from the enemy. If you are not walking against him, then you are walking with him.”

Carey said, “Every day ain’t a happy day.”

When I meet someone who is a little “over the top”, my internal sensors go on alert. 

We will all have bad days. Stuff happens. The key isn’t that we are happy 24/7. The key really is living through the bad days in the hope of the joy that will come.

That is reality. Living otherwise is living in denial.

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We Are Spiritual Beings

July 1, 2015

We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience. Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Teilhard is one of my favorite philosophers/theologians. He was a Jesuit priest and scientist. He was often on the wrong side of Roman orthodoxy on certain matters. 

This quote just popped up in my reading. I started to contemplate on it. 

What if… What if we lived as if we were spiritual beings? What if we stepped outside our human wrapper and saw life from a spiritual perspective?

Would we get so wrapped up in worrying about what others are doing? Would we take a broader view of issues? Could we stop being as narrow minded as we often are and start seeing the world and its inhabitants more as God sees it (us)?

Would we be so insistent about formulating rules for others to follow in order for them to prove to us that they are “Christian” or “saved”?

Would we see the spiritual side of people? Discern the evil from the good and shun the evil?

We would live like Paul describes in Galatians. Or like Jesus described in the Sermon on the Mount. Or like Isaiah or Micah described.

Be free, Paul said in Galatians. Live in the spirit, receive God’s grace, and live a life of freedom.

And what is freedom? Living in the spirit and doing God’s will is freedom.

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You Cannot Serve Two Masters

May 21, 2015

“I just don’t like the idea that I’m a slave. Where is free will? Don’t I have free will?”

The word translated as slave in Western European languages from the Greek has been a stumbling block to many. Nineteenth Century atheist philosophers pounced on that language in their newfound glory of the individual human as a reason to reject Christianity.

My friend in our small group probing the depths of the letter to the Romans gave an honest reaction to Paul’s statements that once we were slaves to sin and now we are slaves to righteousness.

I doubt Paul and my friend interpreted the word the same. For Paul, the theory was not forceable captivity against our will. It was a choice.

Jesus said, you cannot serve two masters. You must choose.

When you choose righteousness, you acknowledge that as your “master.” Much as a disciple tries to be as much like his teacher as possible, when you choose righteousness, then you try to live as much to that standard as possible.

Every day you are faced with little and not-so-little choices of how to act. As you remember to choose to be like your righteous master, you choose to do good. Soon the response is automatic. You become a righteous person. 

I don’t mean that in the sense of self-righteous–a phrase that denotes a person who points out all the shortcomings of others in an obnoxious manner. But in the sense of a person you’d truly love to be around because they seem to care about you, are concerned for your well being, at peace with the universe.

The other master that many think of is free will is the “do my own thing” master. This is tempting. Until we discover that we have been living a life captive to our desires which are easily manipulated by advertising and peers. 

This choice is much older than even Paul and Jesus. Proverbs is full of the same warnings. 

Translators are traitors, as a friend reminded me a few days ago. The concept Paul had in mind was that of a person who attached himself to a master–most likely for economic security. But maybe also out of respect. Not so much coercion. 

Which master will you follow? Choose wisely.

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How Is The Life You’re Living Working

April 30, 2015

What are you doing right now? Well, aside from reading this.

What are your plans for the day? The week? The month?

How much time do you spend watching TV or movies?

He comes home from work, slouches on the couch in front of the TV, and gets up only to eat and use the bathroom until time for bed.

She uses every available minute to turn on her phone and check up on what her “friends” are posting on Facebook. Maybe taking time to text message a few virtual friends.

He sits for hours with the computer playing multi-player games and “hanging out” with his virtual friends.

How easy is it for our lives to slip away into meaningless activities! You look up at the end of a month or a year or a life and wonder where it all went.

Living a life with intention means that we relax when we intentionally mean to relax. And we choose our activities wisely.

Ponder on this question for a while:

Is the life that you’re living worth the sacrifice that Jesus made for that life?

Jesus made time for dinner parties with his friends and acquaintances. But he also healed, taught, mentored.

Try this. Sit and think for a while. Write a list of things you’d like to accomplish. Not so much a goal as a result. Or a place where you’d like to intentionally spend your time. Perform a service. Write a book. Participate in youth activities. Be a better employee.

Write your daily to do list based on what you want to be or what you want to do (hopefully the same). Review every month. What have I done where Jesus would be proud? Has my relaxation and entertainment been just a mindless waste of time or has it been physically/mentally/spiritually renewing? Have I connected with real people?

Live a life intentionally honoring the sacrifice made for us. 

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Paradox of Faith

March 2, 2015

Jesus is the Lamb of God. Jesus is a powerful healer and speaker able to take on the most powerful men of his time and place.

Wait a moment. He’s meek, led to slaughter, bleating? Or, is he powerful, a healer, tremendous inner strength, leader?

I love paradox. I love how seemingly contradictory attributes can both be correct.

Some people need one or the other. There were some strands of thoughts in philosophy that began especially in the 16th and 17th and 18th centuries with disastrous results in the 19th century where the focus on Jesus was only as a bleating lamb not understanding the power of the gospel. 

Some people still fix their thoughts on one or another attribute. Sometimes we don’t understand people because often people are walking paradoxes.

Paul said that he often does what he doesn’t want to do and doesn’t do what he wants to do. 

His actions, like ours, don’t always reflect our beliefs. We don’t always do as we say.

As long as we keep trying to do what’s right, that’s OK. We are born as a paradox and life is a paradox.

As a youth I was targeted to be an engineer. I loved technology from the time I was quite young. But I hated school. I’ve worked as an engineer. But I discovered I don’t have the typical engineer’s personality. They tend to like certainty. They like things to be black and white. I revel in shades of gray (not 50, that’s the topic of another article).

The point is, can we all come to grips with paradox? Can we accept a Saviour who is both meek and powerful? Can we be both meek and powerful? Can we live with people who are living through things and cannot be defined in just one word? And say, that’s OK.

Understanding that we all often fail to do what we want to do.

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A Call To Men To Be Clear

February 23, 2015

Adam should have spoken up. He didn’t. We’re all screwed.

That is the problem statement of “Men of Courage” by Larry Crabb and others. Men are too often silent when they should speak up.

I had the privilege of working as part of a small team of local men who had an idea for a men’s conference. Call to Convergence was held this past weekend. We had no clue how many men would show, but we picked 75 as a good target number. 70 registered. It was a good weekend.

Our principle speaker used that book as the starting point of his talks. Men are called to speak up, to share. Maybe not sharing every emotion like women seem to be wired to do. But, as one person said after the Friday night talks, it’s all about transparency. Not hiding.

The solution part of the book calls men to mentoring. We are called to intentionally find someone who could use a mentor and take action. Invite someone for breakfast or lunch. Ask. Listen. Guide. Help them on their journey.

By the way, we live in a small county. Population of about 56,000. To have 70 people come out in the snow was a great blessing. We all felt that the event wasn’t about us, but about God. And God blessed the gathering.

Men asked about what to do during the year until we have the second one. Always a great sign when people ask for action steps.

Reading the Bible

By the way, you might want to re-read the story of Adam, Eve, the serpent, and the metaphorical tree.

When we read the Bible (or anything, really), often we let past memory guide us and fill in the blanks, so to speak. Did you realize that Adam was present during the whole episode? Not my memory either. When I read it later after learning about the story, my memory took over and I didn’t read the passage clearly.

The passage clearly implies that Adam was right there. It doesn’t say that Eve went to him sometime later. It says she turned to him and offered him the fruit. Adam heard the whole conversation. Surely he knew better. But he didn’t speak up.

Two lessons:
Speak up when you see someone going off the path.
When you read the Bible, clear your mind and read what it really says.

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Making Decisions With The Heart

January 13, 2015

Emotional thinking. Make the big decisions with your heart, the small ones with your head. The electromagnetic frequency of the heart is ten thousand times stronger than that of the brain. The brain takes its orders from the heart.

Looking for practices to cultivate during the coming year, I ran across this thought from the head of an ad agency. I’m still pondering all the meaning of this statement.

Good salespeople know that we make decisions with our heart–or at least with our emotions. Logic and rationality come later to justify the decision.

Brain physiology has discovered that the links between emotion and brain are much more complex and deeper than we might have suspected.

All this flies in the face of 20th Century economic models that are built on the idea of an “economic man.” This hypothetical person makes only rational economic decisions. This person is fiction.

Do you know someone who makes, or tries to make, all decisions rationally? Do you know a person who can’t make decisions? Same guy. I’ve had clients who overanalyze, over think, worry, ask for more data, and never get around to making important decisions. I know many people, usually called engineers, with this disease.

With a heart

I’d like to play with the word heart that was used in the quote. Rather than use it in the sense of pure emotion, let’s take another look.

Jesus said that where we spend money reflects where our heart is. Jesus may have been the first cardiologist–he was most concerned with the status of our hearts. And what he meant wasn’t purely emotional. What he meant was the center of our life.

Where is our life centered? Is it on God? Is it on our own well being? Is it directed toward others? Is it on selfishness and greed?

Don’t take those questions lightly. After years of “heart” work, I still struggle at times with the condition of my heart. And just like I exercise, am careful what I eat, and take my meds to care for my physical heart, I also meditate, study, worship, serve to develop my spiritual heart.

I’m not sure what was meant in the quote, but as I develop the thought, there is a lot of truth. Develop your heart and let it be your guide in decision making.

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