Archive for the ‘Growth’ Category

Spiritual Formation, Not Growth

November 24, 2025

We live in an era where every message encourages continual personal growth. Can I lift heavier weights? Score more followers on social media? Increase income year-over-year? Live a happier life? Go on more exotic vacations? More. More.

This focus on ourselves easily leads us into the lands of a narcissistic life. Not necessarily clinical diagnosis of narcissism personality disorder. But into that realm of self-absorption that turns off everyone in our path.

Spiritual formation, however, is my passion. Curiosity. Diving more deeply into spiritual reading. Consistent meditation and prayer.

Lest this interior focus take me (and you) too deeply into ourselves, we must remember the advice from the concluding chapters of Paul’s exploration of spiritual formation—his Letter to the Romans.

  • Let love be genuine; 
  • hate what is evil; 
  • hold fast to what is good; 
  • love one another with mutual affection; 
  • outdo one another in showing honor. 
  • Do not lag in zeal; 
  • be ardent in spirit; 
  • serve the Lord. 
  • Rejoice in hope; 
  • be patient in affliction; 
  • persevere in prayer. 
  • Contribute to the needs of the saints; 
  • pursue hospitality to strangers.
  • Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. 
  • Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep. 
  • Live in harmony with one another; 
  • do not be arrogant, but associate with the lowly; 
  • do not claim to be wiser than you are. Do not repay anyone evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all. 
  • If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 
  • Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay, says the Lord.” 
  • Instead, “if your enemies are hungry, feed them; if they are thirsty, give them something to drink, for by doing this you will heap burning coals on their heads.” 
  • Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Whew. If we can resemble the person described here, Jesus would certainly call us his disciple. Couple inward spiritual strength with outward acts that Jesus taught.

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Static or Growth Mindset?

October 21, 2025

I first learned about and studied the Enneagram 30 years ago. Different from the Myers-Briggs Types Indicator giving you a static personality type, the Enneagram is dynamic. It means that if I’m self aware, then I can see when I am slipping into the negative parts of the type. And I can know what I should do to reclaim the positive aspects. Delving deeply, I can work toward a more balanced life.

The total misuse of the Enneagram is to use it like the MBTI or the signs of the Zodiac. “Oh, you’re so 7,” or “You’re acting out your 1, being too perfectionist,” or whatever simplistic attitude you develop. It’s perhaps even worse than applying vernacular psychological descriptions supposing a diagnosis…she’s so OCD, he’s a narcissist, what a bipolar person, etc.

Arthur Brooks, the professor of happiness suggesting seeking growth, wrote in this week’s newsletter about an Aristotelian versus Platonic:

  • Find the person you want to be. 
  • Identify the characteristics of that person you seek to emulate. 
  • Make a plan to practice the virtues you want to cultivate. 

Our culture today is likely to push you to define yourself as being a particular sort of person, with a fixed, permanent character (Platonic). This is certainly convenient for businesses and political parties: It makes you a repeat customer, a reliable voter, a faithful donor. Having such an immutable identity can be appealing if it also gives you a sense of belonging as “one of us,” not “one of them.” But it can also leave you stuck in circumstances that you might not like, and that will make you less happy than you could be. Instead, become more of an Aristotelian, and that can set you free.

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Learn from Mistakes

October 1, 2025

Sometimes I’ve not done my best. Sometimes even I make a mistake.

It hurts.

Someone may point it out. I must regroup and reflect.

I consider myself a constant learner. If I am to learn, I must learn from my mistakes and shortcomings. Consider what was wrong. Observe people doing it right. Copy. Practice. Repeat.

Whether it’s guitar, singing, learning a language, resistance training, raising a dog. Whatever.

Own your mistakes. Swallow your pride. Learn from them. The path to true growth.

Unanticipated Benefits

September 15, 2025

The Law of Unanticipated Results states that taking an action often yields results in an entirely different area.

Trying to be happy results in less happiness. Pursuing an activity that consumes your focus and creativity results in happiness.

The purpose of a beehive is not to make honey. Honey is a sweet unanticipated benefit of a healthy hive.

Intentionally pursuing a church growth strategy may build numbers (usually not). But it won’t make “honey.” A community excited about growing and serving attracts others who wish to grow and serve in an exciting community. 

Paul’s Guide To Spiritual Formation

August 27, 2025

I am working through a new syllabus looking at the Letter to the Romans from the point of view of spiritual growth and formation. I have read too much philosophy and theology in my life. I’ve become much more interested in “First Principles”–that is, how we become deeper enmeshed in God’s Spirit and what we do about it.

This is my working outline for the thoughts in the letter:

  • Awareness of our sinful life
  • Faith
  • Grace
  • Living in grace

As part of the faith discussion, Paul seems to digress into a long discussion of Jews and Gentiles (everyone not a Jew). 

The thoughts I’m currently working out look at this Jew and Gentile discussion not as an ancient problem because Jesus and the movement called The Way grew out of Judaism. I wonder if the discussion is germane to problems currently found globally with one ethnic group demonizing another. Just standing here at my desk flashes of vision from at least six countries in the world appear behind my eyes. It’s a current problem.

Sit and read Romans through several times. Don’t try to dig into theologies that Paul might not even have entertained. You can see a clear progression from having a life full of sin, to awareness, to faith, to grace, to living in grace. I have observed many Christians stopping at the “grace” part ignoring how we are supposed to live in grace. A good secondary source is Paul’s letter to the Galatians.

This sounded so familiar to instruction I have had, that I asked Claude.ai to list John Wesley’s four types (or manifestations) of grace. He/she/it provided this description:

  • Prevenient Grace – This is the grace that “goes before” and precedes human response to God. Wesley believed this grace is given to all people universally, enabling them to recognize their need for God and making it possible for them to respond to the gospel. It counteracts the effects of original sin and restores some measure of free will.
  • Justifying Grace – This is the grace through which God pardons sin and declares the believer righteous. It’s received through faith and represents the moment of conversion or being “born again.” This grace removes the guilt and penalty of sin.
  • Sanctifying Grace – This grace works in believers after justification to gradually transform them into the likeness of Christ. Wesley emphasized that this is an ongoing process of spiritual growth and moral purification that continues throughout the Christian life.
  • Glorifying Grace – This is the final grace that believers receive in heaven, where the process of sanctification is completed and they are made perfect in love. It represents the ultimate fulfillment of God’s work in the believer’s life.

Then provided a bit of context with which I concur and offer for contemplation.

These four types of grace formed a comprehensive framework for understanding the entire process of salvation from God’s initial drawing of individuals to their final perfection in heaven. Wesley’s emphasis on the availability of grace to all people (through prevenient grace) was particularly important in distinguishing Methodist theology from more strict Calvinist interpretations of predestination.

Learning Through Overcoming Incompetence

August 15, 2025

My music life began with percussion lessons at about 8 or 9. I was in the University of Cincinnati band a year. Feeling percussion was a bit awkward to move around with, I taught myself guitar from books and friends.

My practice slipped for a few years for several reasons among which were moving and Covid.

Then I did a little performing discovering that a few years off from both playing and singing causing major negative effects.

I also have a hereditary condition (prominent among those of Irish and Nordic descent, and I have Irish ancestors) called Dupuytren contracture. Hardening stiffness of the tendons of the hand cause fingers to contract. My case is mild. The massage therapist helps. I picked up guitar seriously again as a method of stretching my hand.

Starting again was not like riding a bike. My mind said it knew hundreds of chords and patterns and progressions. My hands said, “What???”

  • First, I had to admit incompetence.
  • Then, I found an online teacher.
  • Following his advice, I developed an intentional practice.
  • Before anything, I added Farmer’s Carry to my resistance training routine. I grab a 40 lb. dumbbell in each hand, stand upright, walk for about 60 seconds. It strengthens grip, lower arms, and abs.
  • Then I pick up and tune the guitar each time. I can mostly do it by ear.
  • A series of scales stretch fingers, strengthen the pinkie finger, and practice proper finger placement.
  • Next are a series of practicing difficult chord changes over and over.
  • I finish with chord progressions for a series of songs.
  • Practice bled over to singing bringing a return to breath support, stop forcing, find natural voice.

Why all this detail? This bleeds over into spiritual practice. It’s all about doing things intentionally.

  • Admit incompetence realizing that dashing off a few thoughts called prayer doesn’t bring me closer to God.
  • Meditate with intention (I’ve had teachers, but I found a new online teacher).
  • Read with intention—not just to get in a number of words but to intentionally discover what Jesus wants me to learn from the reading.
  • Spend time in nature on walks thinking/reflecting.
  • Find an avenue of service (spiritual practice is not all internal, it must include serving others).

Not a Contest

May 20, 2025

His entire life was driven by the need to be better than his brother. Every thing, every situation, every skill, all was competition. Every interaction was win/loss.

No relationships. No relaxation. Even vacations were competitive—had to be bigger, better, more expensive, more physical.

What a loss, I thought.

Life is not a sporting event. It’s about coming to grips with that lost little girl or boy. Living with generosity and kindness.

It’s never too late to start.

Operating from Theory

December 2, 2024

Many years ago I accepted a position as sales & marketing manger in a small electronics company. The product was a computer peripheral that appeared to solve a real problem for digital designers. This was early in the computer market. I had an idea of how to go to market. I didn’t know how short our financial runway was.

My position turned out to have been superseded by a newer way of going to market. We had no time. We went out of business.

I bet most of us have entered something with a fixed idea of how it works or what it means. 

“I am sure that Jesus meant this when he said that,” only to face a question when someone asks, “But what about this?”

What would you do when confronted with another way of approaching something? Maybe a new way of reading Paul’s letters. Maybe a new way of thinking about what church really is. Maybe a new way of organizing your life.

The key question:

Do we have the courage to face a new thought and consider how we might change?

Curiosity May Have Killed the Cat

July 11, 2024

But curiosity can be your closest friend for a good life.

Schools may test what you already know (or remember),

But the extent to which you want to know determines everything.

Don’t sit back and think you know it all. You don’t.

Find Your Hidden Potential

May 30, 2024

Sometimes I come across something important for our (yours, mine, and someone you know) personal development. Hidden Potential: The Science of Achieving Greater Things by Adam Grant is a must-read book. Weaving research, analysis, and stories, Grant takes us through a number of steps and processes to help us find our hidden potential. The value extends beyond ourselves to those we parent, mentor, coach, or teach. Helping others develop is a joy beyond description.

He discusses at one point the value of teaching character traits exceeds the subject matter. I appreciate the validation. I spoke for 30 years about how when training young people to become soccer referees that I was teaching beyond just the Laws of the Game. I taught those 12-15-year-olds how to show up on time, be properly equipped, make decisions, stand up for yourself in the face of the inevitable complainers. I see many of them on Facebook or LinkedIn who are successful engineers, teachers, coaches, and more in their own right. I hope I helped them in my own low-key way.

Adam Grant is an organizational psychologist at Wharton, where he has been the top-rated professor for seven straight years. 

To quote from the description on Bookshop.org:

The #1 New York Times bestselling author of Think Again illuminates how we can elevate ourselves and others to unexpected heights.

We live in a world that’s obsessed with talent. We celebrate gifted students in school, natural athletes in sports, and child prodigies in music. But admiring people who start out with innate advantages leads us to overlook the distance we ourselves can travel. We underestimate the range of skills that we can learn and how good we can become. We can all improve at improving. And when opportunity doesn’t knock, there are ways to build a door.

Hidden Potential offers a new framework for raising aspirations and exceeding expectations. Adam Grant weaves together groundbreaking evidence, surprising insights, and vivid storytelling that takes us from the classroom to the boardroom, the playground to the Olympics, and underground to outer space. He shows that progress depends less on how hard you work than how well you learn. Growth is not about the genius you possess–it’s about the character you develop. Grant explores how to build the character skills and motivational structures to realize our own potential, and how to design systems that create opportunities for those who have been underrated and overlooked.

Many writers have chronicled the habits of superstars who accomplish great things. This book reveals how anyone can rise to achieve greater things. The true measure of your potential is not the height of the peak you’ve reached, but how far you’ve climbed to get there.

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