Archive for the ‘Attitude’ Category

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What Breaks Your Heart — Church As A Club

January 19, 2018

Sometimes news comes to me in bunches of related packets. Most likely described by the mathematics of the Fast Fourier Transform. (Sorry, just had to do that.)

This week’s bundle of news seemed to relate to organizations called churches who proclaim to be following Jesus who draw dividing lines among human beings. It’s like a club. Yes, you qualify as a member. No, out with you. Your kind doesn’t belong here.

What pride we have as humans that we think we can know the mind of God and make those sort of proclamations!

I’m reading in the Proverbs today, “The human mind may devise many plans, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will be established.”

Andy Stanley suggested that in lieu of self-improvement new year’s resolutions instead we ask what breaks our heart. I wrote about that last week. Have you contemplated your own response.

One thing that breaks my heart to hear these stories of churches that are so divisive. They don’t ask “how can we help you” instead asking “do you agree with us”.

Bill Hybels led a group that grew into the Willow Creek Community Church to replicate the Acts 2 church. Then he discovered that even that was not intentionally inclusive.

Read about that early church. Study the list of leaders that Paul often includes in his letters–women, men, rich, poor, free, slaves. Everyone who was a spiritual seeker was welcome. And leaders grew up due to character and talent. Paul’s writings (especially if you just pull out one verse from amongst everything he wrote) are often used for justification of divisiveness. But if you study Paul, you discover that he did not intend that at all.

I don’t think I can fix that. But if I had a magic wand…

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You Get To Choose

December 11, 2017

Two brothers grow up with an abusive, alcoholic father. One becomes a model parent and abstains from drinking; the other is a drunk. When asked how they turned out the way they did independently, each answered, “When you grow up with the father I had, how else can you turn out?”

John Rosemond is a psychologist who writes a column on parenting that always has excellent insight and advice. Today’s column contained the question, why is it that some people who grew up in abusive families can grow up to be great parents?

You actually get to choose your response to your situation.

My first college paper with a philosophical theme was an analysis of Norwegian playwright Henrik Ibsen’s (later immortalized on Laugh In by the comedian who quoted poems by Henry Gibson pronounced to be similar in sound) concept of Truth as revealed in his play Peer Gynt.

[Note: we all had to give an oral presentation of our papers to the class. The guy before me compared Shakespeare to Batman comics. You can see already where I was going in life 😉 ]

Truth is a creative response to life.

We get to choose how we respond.

It’s a long tradition–Sidhartha Gautama, your thoughts will determine your direction; Apostle Paul, fill your mind with the things from above; Víktor Frankl, you choose your response; Jesus, choose to follow God.

It’s Advent. Aka, the holiday season (lumping in New Year’s Eve celebrations).

We can choose–be anxious about selecting gifts; be overworked with the thought of too many parties to give and attend; be overwhelmed with the commercialism; be excited by the anticipation of the celebrations; be thankful because of the remembrance of the coming of the Prince of Pease; be at peace and enjoy.

Take a deep breath and release it slowly. We get to choose.

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Thanks Giving

November 21, 2017

How often do you stop and give thanks?

I have a ToDo app that allows for tasks to pop up regularly. I have a task that pops up in my priority list every week. It says, list six things that I’m grateful for and practice gratitude.

There are times when that task comes to my attention, and I find it difficult to take just a few minutes and focus on my blessings.

I’m too busy. Or, I’m not feeling blessed. Or, my mind wanders. I am cursed with thinking too much–I think.

I think about being socially awkward and the latest social gaffes I’ve made.

In America, we are reaching the day on the calendar that comes to our attention once per year. It is a harvest celebration. Most, if not all, societies have some kind of harvest celebration. Farmers live on the edge. Rain comes too early. Or too late. Or too much. Or not enough. Plant diseases sweep through the area. Just having a harvest is cause for rejoicing, celebration, and yes, giving thanks to the God who provided after all.

Or

In America we are reaching the day that marks another day of family tension as we (or some of us) gather to have a meal, complain about things, and leave. It is also the day that marks the beginning of the “holiday season” with Christmas and New Years celebrations coming. And the beginning of shopping for Christmas presents for ourselves and others.

Song lyrics come to me at the weirdest times. I’m just now thinking, “It’s time to stop, children, what’s that sound? Everybody look what’s going down.”

As we plan and worry and prepare for travel for Thanksgiving, take time to stop. Listen. Give thanks.

Posted in Attitude, Disciplines, focus, Gratitude | Leave a Comment »

What We Have Is a Failure to Communicate

October 31, 2017

I was assignor / director of referees for a soccer tournament over the weekend. There were 27 referees assigned. Six didn’t show for the 8 am game on Saturday. A few others left early. I was frazzled most of the day. Not to mention that I had to referee three games myself.

She was scheduled only for the morning because she had league games elsewhere that afternoon. But those games changed. She could stay. I saw her and asked her specifically to stay on the same field. 

I meant all day. She thought I meant for the 12:30 game. At 1:30 I’m rushing to fill in for a game and she’s leaving. “Where are you going?” “I have a game in Piqua, but I’ll come back. I thought you only meant for that one game.”

She’s back in a half-hour. There was no one at the Piqua game. (That game was Sunday, not Saturday.) 

Lots of failures to communicate.

I thought about this while pondering a conversation I had yesterday morning at the Y. It was about the NFL. Mind you, when I’m at the Y, I see no people with skins darker than mine. Well, maybe a couple of times a month. That is not policy; it’s merely a reflection of the demographics of the town.

So, the (mostly) black NFL players think that they are communicting the injustice of the way black men are treated. 

What do most white men hear? Disrespect to the country. They don’t understand the injustice.

More failures to communicate.
Worse, failures to attempt to achieve mutual understanding.

Like that 60s protest song, “Battle lines being drawn. Nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong.”

But even Jesus, (Matt. 16:11) said once, “How could you fail to perceive that I was not speaking of the bread?”

Listening, they did not hear.

Happens to us all.

(Oh, the tournament? 53 teams of young players. It was cold, but they all seemed to have fun and enjoy being out playing. The other referees stepped up and helped fill the openings. Good things do happen. There are many, many good people in the world. We just keep overlooking them.)

Posted in Attitude, Awareness, Disciplines, Listening | Leave a Comment »

What We Have Is a Failure to Communicate

October 31, 2017

I was assignor / director of referees for a soccer tournament over the weekend. There were 27 referees assigned. Six didn’t show for the 8 am game on Saturday. A few others left early. I was frazzled most of the day. Not to mention that I had to referee three games myself.

She was scheduled only for the morning because she had league games elsewhere that afternoon. But those games changed. She could stay. I saw her and asked her specifically to stay on the same field. 

I meant all day. She thought I meant for the 12:30 game. At 1:30 I’m rushing to fill in for a game and she’s leaving. “Where are you going?” “I have a game in Piqua, but I’ll come back. I thought you only meant for that one game.”

She’s back in a half-hour. There was no one at the Piqua game. (That game was Sunday, not Saturday.) 

Lots of failures to communicate.

I thought about this while pondering a conversation I had yesterday morning at the Y. It was about the NFL. Mind you, when I’m at the Y, I see no people with skins darker than mine. Well, maybe a couple of times a month. That is not policy; it’s merely a reflection of the demographics of the town.

So, the (mostly) black NFL players think that they are communicting the injustice of the way black men are treated. 

What do most white men hear? Disrespect to the country. They don’t understand the injustice.

More failures to communicate.
Worse, failures to attempt to achieve mutual understanding.

Like that 60s protest song, “Battle lines being drawn. Nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong.”

But even Jesus, (Matt. 16:11) said once, “How could you fail to perceive that I was not speaking of the bread?”

Listening, they did not hear.

Happens to us all.

(Oh, the tournament? 53 teams of young players. It was cold, but they all seemed to have fun and enjoy being out playing. The other referees stepped up and helped fill the openings. Good things do happen. There are many, many good people in the world. We just keep overlooking them.)

Posted in Attitude, Awareness, Disciplines, Listening | Leave a Comment »

What We Have Is a Failure to Communicate

October 31, 2017

I was assignor / director of referees for a soccer tournament over the weekend. There were 27 referees assigned. Six didn’t show for the 8 am game on Saturday. A few others left early. I was frazzled most of the day. Not to mention that I had to referee three games myself.

She was scheduled only for the morning because she had league games elsewhere that afternoon. But those games changed. She could stay. I saw her and asked her specifically to stay on the same field. 

I meant all day. She thought I meant for the 12:30 game. At 1:30 I’m rushing to fill in for a game and she’s leaving. “Where are you going?” “I have a game in Piqua, but I’ll come back. I thought you only meant for that one game.”

She’s back in a half-hour. There was no one at the Piqua game. (That game was Sunday, not Saturday.) 

Lots of failures to communicate.

I thought about this while pondering a conversation I had yesterday morning at the Y. It was about the NFL. Mind you, when I’m at the Y, I see no people with skins darker than mine. Well, maybe a couple of times a month. That is not policy; it’s merely a reflection of the demographics of the town.

So, the (mostly) black NFL players think that they are communicting the injustice of the way black men are treated. 

What do most white men hear? Disrespect to the country. They don’t understand the injustice.

More failures to communicate.
Worse, failures to attempt to achieve mutual understanding.

Like that 60s protest song, “Battle lines being drawn. Nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong.”

But even Jesus, (Matt. 16:11) said once, “How could you fail to perceive that I was not speaking of the bread?”

Listening, they did not hear.

Happens to us all.

(Oh, the tournament? 53 teams of young players. It was cold, but they all seemed to have fun and enjoy being out playing. The other referees stepped up and helped fill the openings. Good things do happen. There are many, many good people in the world. We just keep overlooking them.)

Posted in Attitude, Awareness, Disciplines, Listening | Leave a Comment »

What Had That Kid Done Now

August 31, 2017

It’s Sunday afternoon. The middle-aged couple is sitting home. Relaxing. Just had lunch. It’s a good day.

Some men come to the door. You’re “requested” to come to the courthouse to confirm that a man who has been testifying there is really your son.

Our son? He’s been homeless for years. Last we heard he was begging down by the courthouse.

The judges ask when you arrive, “Is this man your son? Is he the one who was crippled from birth? How is it that he’s now completely healed?”

You live in fear of the judges. They have the power to drive you out of the community. You’d lose your job, friends, family if they got mad at you.

“He’s our son. We have no idea what happened to him. He’s an adult, let him speak for himself. Let us out of here.”

I’m still contemplating the 9th chapter of the Gospel of John. Let’s think about the parents of the healed blind man.

Here is their son. He’s encountered the Son of Man or Son of God–Jesus. He’s been healed. Both his physical sight, and as we will learn in a moment, also his spiritual sight. He could introduce his parents to this man. His parents could have rejoiced and thrown a big party that their son is now whole.

Such is the power of fear. They didn’t want to offend the authorities. In a sense, who can blame them. Who among us wants to stand up to the authorities?

What is holding each of us back? What fears lurk within us that stop us from accepting the good news? From reaching out to others in service? From introducing others to the Son of God? From resting in peace and joy?

Posted in Attitude, Disciplines, healing | Leave a Comment »

Life In The Fast Lane

August 21, 2017

Life in the fast lane, surely makes you lose your mind.

Following a quick visit to Houston on business last week, I was on vacation in Michigan combined with a wedding in Grand Rapids on Saturday. I ran out of time, so no post Friday.

Watching people’s clothing choices (including mine) at a resort is always interesting.

I see a guy wearing a tee shirt that proclaims “Fast Lane.” No further explanation. Like restaurant or bar or something.

The first thing I think of is the Eagles. He was a hard-headed man, he was brutally handsome. She was terminally pretty.

What a way with words.

What a thing to proclaim on a shirt.

If this was a proclaimation of life in the fast lane, did the wearer know that the song is sarcastic? Or prophetic?

But we all can get caught up in a version of the fast lane–hopefully without drugs, alcohol, and a death wish.

Suddenly we look at the week ahead, or weeks ahead, and everything is filled. We are going to be running here, meeting there, classes, visits, vacation, business. 

When are we going to breathe.

That’s when we need to recall “Be still and know that I am God” from Psalm 46. Another translation says “stop your striving” in place of “be still”. 

What I need is a reminder to stop and take a few deep breaths.

Only then can I refocus and remember to just tackle one thing at a time. Or as the first self-help guru/management consultant I heard some 40 years ago said, “Try…easy.”

And maybe take care about the message you proclaim to others.

Posted in Attitude, Disciplines, Meditation, Silence | Leave a Comment »

Christianity Is Not Found Useful

July 18, 2017

Young people do not find Christianity useful. 

Scanning my Twitter feed and saw that tweet.

First thought–this sounds like a recycled news item that pops up every few years. Young people have been abandoning the church for generations.

But the writer didn’t say church, he said Christianity.

Is that the same thing?

The term useful is intriguing.

Maybe in terms of a church… It’s perhaps a place to meet people and be with people.

But maybe at 20 you’re thinking that those are not the type of people I’d like to meet. Perhaps not cute, or fun, or smart? Maybe not useful for meeting friends and a future spouse?

Maybe at 30, I’m thinking about contacts for getting ahead in business or my profession? Maybe not useful for that?

Maybe they are so young that they have not experienced a spiritual crisis, yet. Or they haven’t recognized that they are searching for something undefined.

Or maybe, they have. And they can’t find a church more interested in people than they are in politics.

Not being there on that personal level when a person is seeking spiritually or in spiritual need (which in reality we all are) is a failure of the church far too often. 

Church as a social place or political place, well, that’s bound to turn people off.

Church as the embodiment of Christianity–now that’s useful. Useful because it helps people. 

A half-hour ago, I had only the idea with no idea where it would lead. Then, much like how Jesus would take a physical concept and move it into a spiritual concept, I let the idea take me from the absurd to the spiritual.

Posted in Attitude, Christianity, Disciplines, Spirituality | Leave a Comment »

We See Your Heart Reflected In Your Face

July 14, 2017

He experienced a late-in-life conversion. Or maybe it was an epiphany. It was something. 

He quit his job. Started a ministry. Was religious.

Funny thing. He never smiled. His face was in a perpetual mild scowl. There was neither joy nor peace reflected in his face.

Rather than attract people, his countenance rather pushed people away.

Do you ever observe people and try to tell from their appearance/posture/face what their personality is like? You look and think, Whoa, I wouldn’t want to be married to that person!

Or like a salesman only out for the next sale who smiles with only his lips? Those are dangerous people.

Or there is the super attractive person. Well, attractive until they open their mouth.

How great it is to meet someone who smiles. Who greets you warmly. Who, even when they are concentrating on something else and you see them, still have an appearance of restful contentment.

There are people who think Jesus was political. Or to be a Jesus follower we must be political. And pursue politics of divisiveness. 

But Jesus turned all that stuff on its head. He criticized those for their outward displays of being religious–who smiled with their lips and not their eyes. He said it’s all about the state of the heart. And Paul later listed the fruit you’ll show and feel when you are in the spirit. Peace and joy–these should be reflected in a follower’s appearance. Not hardness, divisiveness, scowling, frowning.

Makes me afraid to look in a mirror.

Posted in Attitude, Disciplines, emotions | 1 Comment »

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