OK, I’m going to provide a little last minute advice for upcoming family dinners.
Liberate yourself from the need to be Right.
Choose to be useful instead.
Archive for the ‘Attitude’ Category
Be Useful
December 19, 2025In The Mood
December 18, 2025No, I’m not thinking about Glenn Miller, even though we’ve attended two WWII-era plays this season. (Great song, I grew up learning to play drums to big band music. Oh, to be 9 again.)
I think about how I (and most likely you) tend to wait until we’re in the mood to do things—perform a service, write that novel, say Hi to a friend, read Luke 1…
Professionals don’t wait until they are in the mood before they do the work. They do the work to get in the mood.
Same with us. Perform that charity service, write that note, visit someone. As you do, the mood will follow.
Sort of like yesterday’s thought—the world seems backward. The more we do good things, the better the mood we’re in, and the better the reciprocation of others. It spreads.
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Let Me Be A Little Kinder
December 17, 2025Back when I was singing a lot of folk stuff, I ran across this song by Glen Campbell:
Let me be a little kinder let me be a little blinder
To the faults of those about me let me praise a little more
Let me be when I am weary just a little bit more cheery
Think a little more of others and a little less of me
Christmas occurs just over a week from today. By now you are probably frazzled by sending cards, finding gifts, attending parties, planning the big dinner.
I don’t know about you, but you’re probably like me—the more frazzled I get with busyness, the less kind I am to others.
Today is a great day to pause, breathe, and treat the next person you see with kindness (even if it’s you in the mirror). Then make it today’s habit.
There is a weird truth—the more you show kindness, the easier it makes it to show more kindness. And even stranger still—the more you show kindness, the kinder other people are back at you. The more you share, the more there is. It’s a great thing.
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Too Much
December 12, 2025I have everything I wanted and nothing that I need.—Lord Huron
I heard this song the other day. It resonated.
Don’t think that I’ve ever had everything I wanted, although life has been good to us.
Thinking of all I have that is in excess of what I need.
Thinking of generosity post a couple days ago. Maybe if I have what I need, I could live into a more generous life?
Where are you today?
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Spiritual Formation, Not Growth
November 24, 2025We live in an era where every message encourages continual personal growth. Can I lift heavier weights? Score more followers on social media? Increase income year-over-year? Live a happier life? Go on more exotic vacations? More. More.
This focus on ourselves easily leads us into the lands of a narcissistic life. Not necessarily clinical diagnosis of narcissism personality disorder. But into that realm of self-absorption that turns off everyone in our path.
Spiritual formation, however, is my passion. Curiosity. Diving more deeply into spiritual reading. Consistent meditation and prayer.
Lest this interior focus take me (and you) too deeply into ourselves, we must remember the advice from the concluding chapters of Paul’s exploration of spiritual formation—his Letter to the Romans.
- Let love be genuine;
- hate what is evil;
- hold fast to what is good;
- love one another with mutual affection;
- outdo one another in showing honor.
- Do not lag in zeal;
- be ardent in spirit;
- serve the Lord.
- Rejoice in hope;
- be patient in affliction;
- persevere in prayer.
- Contribute to the needs of the saints;
- pursue hospitality to strangers.
- Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.
- Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep.
- Live in harmony with one another;
- do not be arrogant, but associate with the lowly;
- do not claim to be wiser than you are. Do not repay anyone evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all.
- If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
- Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay, says the Lord.”
- Instead, “if your enemies are hungry, feed them; if they are thirsty, give them something to drink, for by doing this you will heap burning coals on their heads.”
- Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Whew. If we can resemble the person described here, Jesus would certainly call us his disciple. Couple inward spiritual strength with outward acts that Jesus taught.
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Talking People Out of Hate
November 21, 2025How can I expect people to listen to me if I don’t listen to them?
So asks black musician Daryl Davis describing his conversations with members of the Ku Klux Klan and various neo-Nazi groups.
This conversation on Adam Grant’s podcast, ReThinking: Talking people out of hate with Daryl Davis and former neo-Nazi Jeff Schoep — Worklife with Adam Grant, could be one of the most important conversations you’ll hear.
Davis recounts his early life as the child of a US diplomat living abroad and his first encounter with hate and racism at age 10. He couldn’t understand. “How can they hate me when they don’t even know me?”
Listening, with focus, and intent, without judgement, to someone whose views are anathema to us. This is so important. It is the beginning of conversation. It may not change the other person. But to them to realize they have been heard without shouting and condemnation opens doors that otherwise would be closed forever. And leading just one person out of a life of hate would cause rejoicing in heaven.
[Note: the link goes to my favorite podcast application. There was no link that I could find on Adam Grant’s website.]
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Walk Your Way to Health
November 18, 2025“Above all, do not lose your desire to walk: Every day I walk myself into a state of well-being and walk away from every illness; I have walked myself into my best thoughts, and I know of no thought so burdensome that one cannot walk away from it.”— Søren Kierkegaard.
Kierkegaard was a Danish theologian whose thought I admire.
Need to lose a few pounds and feel more fit?
Trying to solve a vexing problem?
Looking for ideas for that essay or meditation you’re writing?
Feeling anxious?
Need to connect with God?
Take a walk.
No air pods. No headset. No music. No podcast. Just nature…or life. Maybe a small notebook and pen in your pocket with which to record ideas. OK, I cheat. I use the Notes app on my phone with the microphone and dictate thoughts.
It’s great for physical health, mental health, spiritual health. Get outside and go.
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Notes on Being a Man
November 3, 2025Observing the growing diversity of genders and races at engineering conferences over the past 20 years has been gratifying. I’ve been a “perp” at times over the years. When I had leadership responsibilities, I promoted unlikely people into strategic roles looking at their skill sets and social maturity. I had a female project manager and a sales engineer in the 1980s when many men were uncomfortable with that. They were good.
Melinda French Gates (Bill’s ex) recently appeared on a podcast. While celebrating the advances women have made, she noted the importance of bringing men along. I applaud the setting aside of an “us vs. them” mentality. I’m with Martin Luther King, Jr. when he asked that we judge people by the strength of their character, not by external factors.
I have watched for years how some boys and men have not been brought along with the progress of women, people of color, and privileged white men. I would see the woman of the family driving the car, going into the bank to do business, running other errands, while the guy sits slumped in the car playing a video game.
Sometimes parents have not been a help. Sometimes no coach or teacher or neighbor has come forward to offer guidance. They’ve heard that if you don’t go to college, you’re nothing. And their talents are not in that direction.
My last podcast discussed building a workplace that respects people. We need to help bring everyone along for the ride. We cannot sit back and expect other to do this.
[Note: the linked blog post contains language and situations that some will find offensive. The message is clear, though.]
Tim Ferriss writing about Scott Galloway on his blog discusses disturbing statistics about young (and a little older now) men. They need guidance. OK, maybe sometimes a metaphorical kick in the pants. Check out Tim’s post and the discussion about Galloway’s new book.
What can we do either individually or through business to help bring these disaffected people along—all the while not forgetting to enable everyone?
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See More Clearly
October 31, 2025John Fischer wrote recently in his The Catch newsletter, “Your job is not to shout louder. But to see clearer… Eyes wide open. Heart tuned in.”
People trying to communicate with someone who speaks a different language invariably speak more loudly as if volume would overcome the language barrier.
People living within different political or religious systems also have this trait. If you don’t seem to understand me, I’ll just scream louder.
Hot tip: that does’t work.
Fischer talks of seeing clearer. That is part of the equation. Better is seeing the other more clearly. And listening. And deciding not to assume the other is simply stupid or ignorant or cynical.
Reminds me of this wonderful song from Godspell, Day by Day.
Oh Dear Lord
Three things I pray
To see thee more clearly
Love thee more dearly
Follow thee more nearly
Day by day
Explore and Experiment
October 28, 2025The book lies before me on the desk,
I’ve often read those chapters of the famous sermon.
In the spirit of those before me,
I open and scan the pages with an explorer’s mind.
Open, curious, I know nothing,
Exploring the story, thoughts, teaching, responses.
I experiment, trying my thoughts against the text.
Explore, experiment. Finding nuggets of gold
In the stream of words from The Teacher.
This, then, forms the foundation of study.
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Gary Mintchell
Faith Venture 