Author Archive

Opportunity for a Kindness

September 16, 2022

Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness–Seneca.

Many people follow Vitaliy Katsenelsen for his insights into value investing. He calls himself a “student of life.” He reflects this in his latest book Soul in the Game: The Art of a Meaningful Life. Katsenelsen was born in Soviet Russia and is a Jew. He emigrated to the US, has a masters degree in finance and runs a financial investing firm. This wealth of experience infuses the book.

He describes meeting with an economist/writer on a trip. “The second thing I learned from John: Be kind to everyone, all the time.” They walked into a bar to continue their conversation. John greeted every person in his path. He devoted his full attention on the server he chatted with as they sat.

How do you treat your servers or baristas? How do you treat everyone in your path?

Sometimes I think our politicians are still junior high kids. What if they all began to treat people with kindness?

What if, today, I treated everyone I meet with kindness?

Be kind.

The Anger Test

September 15, 2022

I’ve missed a couple of days here. The 2022 edition of the International Manufacturing Technology Show (IMTS, formerly the International Machine Tool show) is running this week in downtown Chicago at McCormick Place. I have moved to the greater Chicago area commuting from home rather than from a hotel far enough away to escape $500/night rates in downtown.

I last wrote about anger. I decided to leave home at 6:00 am to avoid the heaviest of rush hour traffic. The plan didn’t work. There was an accident ahead. Google Maps kept routing me off I-90 onto surface streets to go around tight spots on the freeway. Still, the trip took 40 minutes or more longer. I arrived at the parking lot later than my plan allowed. I lost writing time at the McDonalds on the lower level of the North Hall. Breakfast with Ronald was possible and catching up on soccer referee news. But not everything I had planned.

There was a time the traffic slowdown would have frustrated me. Coming from rural west Ohio where a slowdown on I-75 meant going at the speed limit, 5 mph was slow. And then the loss of writing time. All the plans gone.

I’ve learned over the 20 years of driving through Chicago. The two podcasts I listened to were entertaining and informative. I adjusted to doing what I could and not worrying. After all, the experience of meeting old friends and making new ones was ahead of me. And learning what was new in the industry.

Frustration leads to anger leads to disrupted relationships and opportunities.

Chilling out reframes the situation leading to learning and building relationships.

It was a great two days. Now it’s nice to be in my office chair looking out at the grass and trees behind the house and thinking. Oh, yes, and typing on my new MacBook Air M2 in midnight.

On Anger

September 12, 2022

Marcus Aurelius, “How much more harmful are the consequences of anger…than the circumstances that aroused them in us.”

Anger erupted from within me usually when I felt threatened. The source was fear of loss of something–job, status, relationship.

Vitaliy Katsenelsen says in his book Soul in the Game, “The venom generated by anger, when allowed to spill into others, is always followed by regret.”

And yes, even to this day I have deep regret for some outbursts from anger.

John Climacus the abbot of St. Catherine’s at the foot of Mt. Sinai writing in the early 600s said that “anger is an indication of concealed hatred, of grievance nursed. Anger is the wish to harm someone who has provoked you.”

John counsels, “The fist step toward freedom from anger is to keep the lips silent when the heart is stirred; the next, to keep thoughts silent when the soul is upset; the last, to be totally calm when unclean winds are blowing.”

It’s that moment between thought and action when you have an opportunity to take a breath, perhaps count 3, 7, 10, 100. That pause is the freedom–the freedom to choose our best response. It is in breath that silence and calm have the opportunity to prevail.

I have learned this the hard way.

Truth

September 9, 2022

As far as I can remember I have been on a journey seeking truth. I had not idea what it would be when I found it. But “it” had to be out there somewhere.

Even studying the sciences, that was in the back of my mind. When I describe God in terms of quantum physics, my poor Reformed friends just shake their heads. They know what truth is and have no need to explore.

I wasn’t satisfied.

I wrote a paper as a freshman in university about the concept of truth revealed in Henrik Ibsen’s play/poem Peer Gynt. It’s stuck with me ever since.

Truth isn’t a statement. A belief. Something that separates me from other people such that I can feel justified hating or killing them.

Truth was a journey. Sort of like the peeling of an onion. Layer after layer. Day by day. I live today for the day. I learn something new today. I serve someone today. I grow a bit today. Some days I’m closer to God; some days I’m farther away. But God is always around me.

Lonely People

September 8, 2022

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

Elenor Rigby, Lennon/McCartney

Not being lonely constitutes one path to longevity.

Have you friends? A friend? Someone?

I think of Jesus and how he was at times alone among friends. Have you ever been in a room full of people and still feel alone? Have you called that room a church sometimes?

Maybe a family? I have memories of being a child at home and being alone even with three brothers. My mom probably wished for alone time.

Being alone does not equal being lonely. I like times to be alone. I like times to be with others. I am both extrovert and introvert—like most of us.

But lonely? When that visits, we hope it intends a short stay hotel not an extended stay residence.

I wish I could advise you on being unlonely. If I knew, I’d practice it. Go to a coffee house, see someone and ask a question, I guess. Questions are your friend.

Doing More Than The Minimum

September 7, 2022

A department of the US government establishes something called Minimum Daily Requirement for a number of nutrients.

(Poor) Students ask the teacher, what’s the minimum amount of work I need to do to pass this course.

Laws establish the minimum requirements for staying out of trouble.

Religious laws also establish the minimum requirements, as well as, offering means of comparison with others.

Some people in the workplace get by with the minimum amount of work to avoid being fired.

The Pharisees (rule-followers) asked Jesus what the minimum effort was to get them right with God.

Jesus continually told them that it would take their whole heart. Similar to Yoda’s words to Luke Skywalker, “Do or do not, there is no try.” Jesus said, don’t look back. Do–with all your heart (and soul, and mind, and strength).

Jesus does not want followers looking for the minimum daily dose of goodness. He wants people whose whole life is immersed in that goodness.

You Don’t Own Me

September 6, 2022

Looking back on the 60s, I thought this was radical for the time–and for many even today in the 20s it is radical.

You don’t own me

I’m not just one of your many toys

You don’t own me

Don’t try to change me in any way

And don’t tell me what to do

And don’t tell me what to say

And please when I go out with you,

Don’t put me on display.

Written by John Medora, David White; Sung by Leslie Gore, 1963

Even in my nerdy teenage years, those words resonated.

And today even more so.

The non-technology part of my Twitter stream concerns women hurt by evangelical pastors and evangelical husbands. I’m sitting here not 15 miles from a guy who famously injured emotionally if not physically many women.

I know of many who hold to a theology ripped from part of the Apostle Paul’s writings to justify that behavior. They may make fun of how that disciple of the Enlightenment, Thomas Jefferson, famously cut phrases from the Bible that he couldn’t agree with (understand?), but this is the same in reverse. Let us just cut a few phrases out of Paul, paste them on our walls, and follow them.

Count the number of times Paul instructed mutual submission. Observe the way Jesus treated women. Follow Jesus’ command to love our neighbor (and no, not that way…).

The radio in my wife’s car is set to Sirius XM’s 60s Gold (for contrast, mine is on Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville). This Leslie Gore song pops up occasionally as a reminder of how to treat other people.

Try it.

Labor Day

September 5, 2022

Today is a national holiday in the US originally designed to honor working people in the newly developed factories. Working conditions were dirty and dangerous. Pay was low. Hours long.

There were two transitions happening. Increasing mechanization in agriculture reduced job opportunities on farms. Factories designed to produce more products were rapidly displacing craftsmen. Men took their families to cities where they could find factory work.

I went to graduate school intending to study political philosophy. I was intrigued by an early essay of Karl Marx where he discussed this transition from craftsman to factory worker. The craftsman put a little bit of soul into the things he (sometimes she back in the 1800s) made. A factory worker just performed one little task not being responsible for building the entire product. Marx called this alienation. Humans were alienated from the fruits of their labor.

They closed the department during my first semester at grad school. They let us stay out the year, but my incentive for degrees was shot. I got one of those factory jobs.

We’ve broadened the definition of labor for these labor day celebrations. But much like almost all of our national holidays, the original meaning is almost lost while we just celebrate a day off.

But this alienation from work idea lingers in different guises. Surveys today reveal that people want to work where the output is meaningful, that their contribution is important, that they benefit society in some way. Put a little bit of soul into your work. Or, go out to work on your own.

Personality

September 2, 2022

It’s 3 in the afternoon (15:00). I finished my workout and breakfast and sat down to write at 9. But since it is soccer season and I never know what emergency I may face, I scanned email. Oh, joy! There was a long email sent to the state sports administration. That created all manner of interpersonal conflicts that required a quick response. Then a second one. This soccer season (in its second week) is shaping up as one of conflicts.

The problem? It really boils down to a simple initial personality conflict that expanded to a full-page memo to the state. It needn’t have gotten that far.

How often we offer a quip in a moment that we think is cute or funny. And, how often that quip is received in a manner different from what was intended. And feelings are hurt. And things grow. And now people are not speaking to each other. And now they talk about the other person to third parties. And it grows and grows like mold on your onions in the pantry.

It could have been stopped. I can still see Don Knotts as Deputy Barney Fife in the old Andy Griffith show on one episode where he said, “Nip it in the bud, Andy. That’s it. You gotta nip it in the bud. Nip it in the bud.”

Yes. A lesson for us all. Nip it in the bud. Don’t let it sit and mold and spread disease everywhere. Fix it now.

Opportunity for Self-Discipline

September 1, 2022

I listened to a podcast interview on dialectical behavior therapy. The psychologist stated that people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder do not have an overwhelmingly strong ego. They have a great fear of being ordinary. I can think of several examples without straining my memory.

These are people who crave power and status. Many of us have a little of that. As Ryan Holliday wrote in The Daily Stoic, “You’d think that the more powerful you are, the more freedom you’d have. The more money and success you have, the more you can do. You’d think that being a millionaire or being a celebrity or being the CEO would finally unshackle you from all the obnoxious and annoying constraints of being a ‘regular’ person…”

Maybe you have had those thoughts at times. Holliday continues, “How wrong this is. How wrong this has always been.”

Freedom longings populate the world in this era. In America a weird sense of what constitutes freedom has recently evolved. No one can tell me what to do, when to do it, or how to do it, any time or any where.

Paul tried valiantly to describe freedom in the spirit in his writing to the Galatians and Romans and other places. He fell a little short of clarity. Or maybe it’s difficult to understand.

I picked up this thought from Holliday in The Daily Stoic, “It was Eisenhower who said that freedom is really better described as the, ‘opportunity for self-discipline.’ ”

We must learn to tell ourselves that what we want to do is neither moral or ethical or just or beneficial. We must aim again.