Posts Tagged ‘lifestyle’

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Trying Too Hard

October 14, 2013

Do you find yourself trying too hard?

Maybe it’s your expectations for your children. Maybe it’s a message that you are trying to get across to others. Maybe it’s an organization that you are trying to move. You sense resistance and you try harder. But the harder you try, the less response you perceive.

I’ve seen this and experienced this. The very first management conference I ever attended, in the mid-70s, featured one of those motivational speaker types. I’ll never forget his core message, though, “Try Easy.”

Of course you should try to accomplish things. You should try to show the way for your children. You should try to move your organization forward. Just don’t overdo it. I’ve seen sales people fail miserably because they press too hard. I’ve seen people burn out because they try so hard they lose perspective.

Jesus said, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear…. But strive first for the dominion of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” (Matthew 6)

I have a picture of Jesus as an intense man. I bet people sensed his intensity from a long way off. And I think there was also a sense of urgency.

Nowhere do I get the picture of Jesus as pressing forward rapidly. He traveled with intention, but never seemed rushed. He seldom lost his temper.

And, he accomplished his mission.

We can also. Know your goal, your strengths, your reality. Just keep moving with intentionality. But don’t go overboard with worry and effort. Try…Easy.

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In Old Age They Still Produce Fruit

October 9, 2013

“If you keep on living, you’re gonna get old.” from a blues song.

Someone asked me once where I get ideas for posts. Well, from what I read, listen to, and observe. Recently I have been listening to “Bluesville” on Sirius XM when I’m driving and not otherwise listening to podcasts. This line from a song caught my attention.

There was a restaurant our staff frequented in the early 80s in a north suburb of Dayton, Ohio, where the slogan was, “If I’d have known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.” I think that’s the implied message of the song.

From the time I was quite young, I pictured myself as one of those old guru type of guys, wise and calm and focused on God. It’s weird for an adolescent to think that, I guess, but it must have come from all the philosophy and theology I was reading even back then.

Where do you see yourself as you grow old?

Psalm 92 has an interesting picture:

The righteous flourish like the palm tree,

and grow like a cedar in Lebanon.

They are planted in the house of the Lord;

they flourish in the courts of our God.

In old age they still produce fruit;

they are always green and full of sap,

showing that the Lord is upright;

Those who are rooted in God will flourish in old age (if we keep on living, as the song says). Always green, bearing fruit.

I know people who retire in order to essentially do nothing–or to just wallow in self-absorption. I do not see that in my future. I am always looking for new ideas, new ministries, new things to learn, new ways to serve.

“They are planted in the house of the Lord” means that we are rooted in the Word and the Spirit of God. And along with James we live out our faith refusing to become lazy in self-indulgence.

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Are You In Charge of Yourself?

October 8, 2013

Rule your mind or it will rule you. — Horace

Who’s in charge? Horace was an ancient writer of much wisdom. Firmly in the wisdom tradition of discovering how to live a successful life, he pondered these essential truths.

You actually have a choice in what your mind dwells on. You can decide to allow your mind to dwell on self-pity, negativity, jealousy, aggression. Or, you can choose to focus on things of God’s Kingdom, as in “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God.”

This is both an awesome burden and an fantastic power. You can choose to be free–much as Paul wrote in his letter to the Galatians. Left to its own devices, our minds will be swayed by changing emotions, perceived slights, the last advertisement we see. It is up to us as full-functioning human beings to choose what we think about.

It is a little weird to talk about ruling your mind in a Christian context if you have misconceptions about what it means to be a Christ-follower. I’ve certainly read enough philosophy and theology to see how so many people misinterpret words such as submit, be a slave, a prisoner of God, and so on.

But Jesus, our teacher whom we seek to emulate, while submitting to the will of God also was a strong person. There were times he had to fight internally to achieve power over his mind–as so eloquently told in the Garden of Gethsemane story. But he also was quite in charge of his mind during his 40 days of temptation following his baptism both by John and by God.

Most often the meaning behind submit and serve is putting other people’s needs before our needs. Or, God’s need before our need. Sorry, Boomers*, it is Not all about you.

It’s wonderful and scary to realize that we have so much power over what we become. I’m in awe. But I accept the challenge.

*Technically, I’m a Boomer, too.

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Seek Good Things of the Mind

October 7, 2013

Seek ye first the good things of the mind, and the rest will either be supplied or its loss will not be felt. — Francis Bacon

I know some people (guys) who spend quite a lot of time watching the talk and opinion shows on Fox. I am sure there are people who are the same watching MSNBC, I just don’t know any of them.

These shows are designed to get their audience all fired up so that they will keep watching. They fill minds with negativity, aggression, us vs. them divisions. The guys I know then spend the rest of the day grumpy and argumentative.

Francis Bacon wrote several hundred years ago. But he echoed wisdom from the Bible of a couple of thousand years before him. A couple of decades ago, Earl Nightengale wrote that he searched for years to find the secret of a successful life. He concluded, “You become what you think about.”

These are powerful thoughts. We have the power to choose how we become. We choose what to fill our minds with. In so doing, we choose what we become.

Do we become loving, considerate, strong and confident? Or do we become argumentative, self-absorbed, ungrateful? It’s the result of the choices we make when we fill our minds.

I guess the next time I choose whether to watch a mindless TV show or read a good book, I need to consider the outcomes. Oh, it’s OK to kick back and relax once in a while. But we need to watch what we do when we relax–and be careful that “relaxing” doesn’t become our normal lifestyle.

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Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life

September 13, 2013

I almost always meet the nicest people. This week I have been traveling to conferences. Two days in San Antonio and then two in New Orleans. I’m at the Courtyard by Marriott by the convention center in New Orleans right now. The woman who runs the restaurant is a jewel of a person. Just like everyone I’ve met at Courtyards.

Wednesday evening I arrived in town with enough time to check in and then get over to the conference I’m attending. Got back to the Courtyard not having had dinner. She had just closed up the restaurant. But she could get me a glass of wine and rustled up some pita chips and hummus. Just what I needed. I sat in the lounge area yesterday from about 4 pm until almost 9 working. Had dinner and a little wine. She was just the nicest person with everyone.

I’ve met the greatest gate agents in airports, sales clerks, people I do business with. The guy I sat beside on the way from SAT to MSY (San Antonio to New Orleans for those who don’t speak “airline.” Great conversation.

There is a story that I’m told came through Carl Sandburg about a farmer who was asked by a couple of strangers about the type of people who lived around there. He asked them what sort of people there were where they were from. One person replied negatively, the other positively. He told them each, “I suppose you’ll find the same sort of people here.” It’s all in your thinking.

This blog post from Leo about changing your thinking started me thinking. I have had a lot of challenges and changes this summer. Quit a job that paid well in order to gain peace of mind and in order to be creative again. Started a new business. Wound up joining another business to turn it around. Took on a new ministry at church. Then my doctor thought I had some major heart problems, but after 6 weeks of some uncertainty and testing, discovered not much was going on that we didn’t already know about. (I feel great, by the way. Thanks for asking.)

What Leo said in his blog post about being grateful resonated. I found that I intentionally connected with God more often than the preceding few months. I found that in pausing daily to remember all the things I’m grateful for, I gained perspective. I found that by encouraging my natural attitude to believe the best of people, greet people with a smile, be kind all contributed to meeting the nicest people–and finding great joy and peace.

My advice–pause, look at all the things for which you should be grateful, check your thinking and change as necessary.

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Being Rewarded Without Showing Loyalty

September 9, 2013

“The loyalty program that doesn’t require loyalty.”

I don’t watch much TV. Sunday Masterpiece Mystery. Occasional Diners, Drive Ins and Dives. Maybe Sunday afternoon soccer. But I entered Saturday TV wasteland last weekend watching part of a college football game. My attention was jarred by this hotels.com ad. Wow, this fits it all, I think, this Age of Narcissism.

You get all the benefits without the commitment.

Is your church this way? Your business? Your non-profit organization. What’s that old Dire Straits song, “Money for nothin'”? In addition to a great guitar line, the song really rips into people who think it’s all easy.

Luke writes about a time Jesus was walking along a road and meets several people (end of Chapter 9):

As they were going along the road, someone said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.”

To another he said, “Follow me.” But he said, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” But Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”

Another said, “I will follow you, Lord, but let me first say farewell to those at my home.” Jesus said to him, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.”

Looking at these thoughts from the point of view of a leader, I want only those people who are committed to the cause. Of course, like Jesus we as leaders need to define the cause and make it compelling for our followers. But we need followers who are committed.

Looking at this from the point of view of an individual, I need to make the commitment. It’s not all about me. There’s no loyalty reward in life where I don’t have loyalty. As you sow, so shall you reap. The decisions you make today determine what will happen to you tomorrow.

What is your level of commitment?

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God’s Logic

September 4, 2013

When we program computers or other digital devices, an essential logical statement is “if…then” or sometimes “if…then…else”. If the user taps the app icon, then open the app (else return to home screen).

This is akin to cause and effect. If you do something, then something will happen to (or for) you.

This logic is not new. 2,800 years ago Isaiah said these words to the people of his nation:

Is not this the fast that I choose:

to loose the bonds of injustice…

Is it not to share your bread with the hungry,

and bring the homeless poor into your house…

Then your light shall break forth like the dawn,

and your healing shall spring up quickly.

Isaiah 58 is written as poetry. One technique poets use is repetition of an idea using different images or words.

If you remove the yoke from among you,

the pointing of the finger, the speaking of evil,

if you offer your food to the hungry

and satisfy the needs of the afflicted,

then your light shall rise in the darkness

and your gloom be like the noon-day.

Didn’t get the idea? Then try a third time:

If you refrain from trampling the sabbath,

from pursuing your own interests on my holy day; …

then you shall take delight in the Lord,

and I will make you ride upon the heights of the earth…

Our actions have effects. They affect us. They affect others. Either for good or for bad.

Be careful what you do and say. Everyone is watching. Especially God.

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Why don’t you hear us, O God?

August 28, 2013

Why don’t you hear us, O God?

A teacher was speaking. I made a hurried note, because I was driving across rural northern Indiana at the time. “Read Isaiah 58” was all I noted.

So I returned home late last week, opened to Isaiah 58 in the Kindle app on my iPad and began reading. What a great passage. A preacher could easily develop a sermon series from this passage.

I’m going to contemplate this for a while. So, pull out that old Bible and read it to prepare for a few meditations.

Isaiah, speaking God’s words to his people, answers the question I began with. But, to start at the beginning…

“Shout out, do not hold back!

Lift up your voice like a trumpet!

Announce to my people their rebellion,

to the house of Jacob their sins.”

This is God talking to Isaiah. He’s encouraging his prophet to speak. In fact, not just to speak, but to do so dramatically. What is it he is to speak? It’s about how the people have stopped doing the Lord’s will–what the Lord wants.

Before we condemn those people of 2,800 years ago when Isaiah preached, we can think of ourselves.

“Click and Clack, the Tappet Brothers” (if you followed “Car Talk” on National Public Radio) talk of the famous “dope slap.” That’s when you’re acting like a dope or said something stupid and somebody (maybe even yourself) slaps you on the side of the face. You dope.

That’s a little crude, but it’s what Isaiah is doing to the people of his nation. He’s saying something like, “Wake up people. You think you are so good, but you’re not. Oh, and here’s why.”

Probably all of us need one of those “dope slaps” every once in a while. Usually just when we think we’re so smart, or so good, or so wise, or so beautiful.

Has someone tried to give you a verbal dope slap recently? Did it wake you up? Or did it miss the mark?

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Avoid Confusion and Distraction

August 14, 2013

BikepathI’m reviewing my notes from Henry Cloud’s Boundaries for Leaders for something else I’m writing and these words attracted my attention. “Set limits on confusion and distraction.”

In this book, he meant that organizationally. As you organize your company, department, ministry, family, assign tasks and responsibilities and hold everyone accountable for their actions and results.

Assigning your children tasks to help around the house at an early age with no thought of pay teaches them responsibility, accountability, and focus. These are life skills that will help them throughout their lives no matter what happens. My capitalist friends may cringe–thinking that everything must have a monetary reward–but they would need to calm down a little. Even economists will occasionally talk about intrinsic rewards.

Do you lead a group in either a marketplace company, a nonprofit agency, a church or volunteer organization? Think on these things. Think about each person–their tasks, responsibilities and desired results. Clearly state to them, ask for response that these are understood. Keep people focused on what is important.

This works for yourself, too.

What about you or around you contributes to confusion and distraction?

  • Not sure about your goals
  • Messy desk
  • Sloppy recordkeeping
  • Too much social media
  • Thinking you’re the exception to multi-tasking blues
  • Too many goals
  • Inability to say “No”

Now is the time to work on your own confusion. Eliminate distractions when you think or work. Organize your workspace. Organize your house. Organize your daily routine.

I often talk about Spiritual Disciplines (or practices). Adopt a couple of crucial ones. Every morning get up 15 minutes earlier than now so that you can spend time reading The Bible or other Spiritual book. Then spend some quiet time in prayer and meditation–even if it’s only 5 minutes.

Begin your days focused and organized.

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Motivating Yourself Toward Emotional Intelligence

August 7, 2013

I thought I’d just continue down the Emotional Intelligence path for a couple of days. This was triggered by the airport incident I talked about yesterday where a little emotional intelligence would have been a great thing.

In their book, Lennick & Kiel discussed five areas under emotional intelligence and then four under moral intelligence. We talked a little about knowing your own emotions and then managing your emotions. We’ll add to that today with some thoughts on motivating yourself.

Seems to fit that I’m in Austin, Texas for a conference put on by a company called National Instruments. This is a pretty high technology conference. But everything they do pretty much boils down to measuring things, analyzing things and then doing something with that knowledge gained. There are almost 4,000 people here who were motivated to pay the conference fee, pay for travel and a hotel, and take a week away from family and work to learn how to do this better.

The first step toward emotional intelligence is to know your emotional state. That’s the measure stage of using this technology. We may not have a measurement grade, but we can relate  emotional state to temperature. There’s normal. Then there’s too cool–as in depression. Then there’s too hot–as in anger. You can calculate the many different emotions similarly.

When we know what the state is, if it is out of balance, we can work to restore balance. We need that motivation to study what is going on and maybe how other people have managed emotions in order to grow.

I have found that certain spiritual practices are of great help in this process. Especially meditation and prayer. These practices slow you down. They help put a gap between emotion and response. I wish I could say they work perfectly. But even so, given time you will notice a change.

The motivation comes from many sources. But mostly it comes from a recognition that “I am this sort of person” but “I’d like to be that sort of person.” I want to change who I am. I see myself as calm and calming.

Interestingly, toward the end of my soccer referee instructor training last weekend, we were just chatting and I related something to teaching Yoga. One of the guys said, “I can totally see you teaching Yoga.” That is another calming practice. I had no idea I came across that way, but obviously I’ve started becoming the person I set out to be.

But the journey is far from over.

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