Posts Tagged ‘focus’

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Spiritual Discipline: Overcoming Emotions

July 6, 2016

…if you say, ‘You fool,’ you will be liable to the hell of fire. — Jesus (Matthew 5: 22)

Emotions are neither good nor bad. They just are. How we handle them, well, that’s the subject of many books, advanced degrees, time spent in therapy, time that should have been spent in therapy.

I wrote a series of posts a few years ago based on the book, Emotional Intelligence. I’ve spent a lifetime overcoming some of the emotions I was exposed to as a child–anger, anxiety. I bet you all have your own set of emotions that, when they capture too much of our energy.

When it’s time to grieve, grieve. And when your friend grieves, grieve with her or him. When it’s time to move on, move on. And so it is with other emotions. Sometimes it is right to be angry.

But out of emotions riding unchecked, come things that hurt others and ourselves. We say things we shouldn’t have said. We expose our lack of maturity.

Don’t we all see things, read things, hear things that can ruin our day–or at least set us back a little? The other person was just giving vent to unbridled emotions.

I was on the Internet before there was a Web (yes, there was such a time). And there were groups (called UseGroups) where people gathered to share information on a topic. And, lo, there came “trolls” who would say hurtful things. And then came the Web and blogging. And people shared information and thoughts. And, lo, the trolls followed to the new medium. And hurt people deeply. It’s so easy when it’s late at night and your emotions are riding high, and it’s just words on a screen.

And then came new ways of sharing such as Facebook and others. And lo, we could all become trolls in general, venting forth our anger, fear, hate.

And people have not changed despite teaching, research, books.

2,000 years ago, Jesus dealt with this:

You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not murder’ and ‘whoever murders shall be liable to judgement.’ But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgement; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, ‘You fool,’ you will be liable to the hell of fire.’

Keeping your peace when you feel like venting is a Spiritual Discipline. It’s that moment between the urge and the keyboard or mouth when you have the opportunity for a deep breath. In the pause, you can reflect, “Of what use is this that I am about to say? Does it uplift? Or tear down?”

In that pause, we have the opportunity to show the true status of our hearts.

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Stop My Mind From Wandering

June 7, 2016

I’m fixing a hole where the rain gets in
And stops my mind from wandering. Where it will go.– The Beatles

Listening to The Beatles for a while on the drive back from vacation Sunday. I’m not sure what they meant (John and Paul may not have known either). The words seemed to fit my vacation reading that focused on, well, focus.

Sometimes we have a hole in our consciousness that lets our mind wander where it will go.

Ever sit down to read the Bible or a study book on a Biblical theme, or again sit down to pray or contemplate on the words? And your mind wanders to things you need to do, conversations left undone, worries about what might happen tomorrow?

Or, worse, your smart phone attracts your eye. “I’ll just check Facebook or Instagram quickly and see if I’m missing any important news from my ‘friends’,” you think. Oops, there went a good 20 minutes and it’s time to go somewhere and opportunity to think missed.

I’m helping with the marketing for small coffee shop with a mission. You can “like” High Grounds Cafe on Facebook. I post messages regularly on the Facebook page (it is a great marketing media for local business). But…I’ll go to Facebook to post a message and my news feed pops up. Side note: they call it news, but there is no news–some updates on what people are doing and a stream of thoughtless political shots at someone. Anyway, a photo catches my eye. 15 minutes gone, poof, wasted.

Deep thinking and concentration are skills that must be developed and practiced.

Usually you need a ritual. For example, get up in the morning (early), fix a cup of coffee or tea, gather your reading material with a pen and paper, and sit in your favorite chair in a quiet location. Do it regularly.

Be aware of your mind. When it starts to wander, don’t panic. Just fix the hole gently and return to concentration. You will find that you can spend 15-30 minutes totally immersed in your reading and prayer.

If your job, like mine, requires thinking and writing, you can build up to 90 minute stretches of time, short break, and another 90 minutes of real work.

Fix that hole in the roof that allows your mind to wander. See how richer your life will be.

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Gluttony

June 6, 2016

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God. — 1 Corinthians 10:31

Picture a large seafood buffet restaurant. He had a plate already full of a variety of fish and shrimp. He added crab legs. And he added crab legs. And he piled on still more crab legs. When he walked away there were six piled atop his plate.

I had plenty to eat–2 cups of clam chowder, a dozen peel-n-eat shrimp, a set of crab legs, corn on the cob (well the small pieces of cherry cobbler and apple cobbler were over the top)–and felt like I had barely snacked compared to what I saw going on around the serving lines.

The image of the “Seven Deadly Sins” came to mind as I sat there. One of them being gluttony.

The list came from Pope Gregory I around 600 CE.

7 Deadly Sins List:

  1. Envy = the desire to have an item or experience that someone else possesses
  2. Gluttony = excessive ongoing consumption of food or drink
  3. Greed or Avarice = an excessive pursuit of material possessions
  4. Lust = an uncontrollable passion or longing, especially for sexual desires
  5. Pride = excessive view of one’s self without regard to others.
  6. Sloth = excessive laziness or the failure to act and utilize one’s talents
  7. Wrath = uncontrollable feelings of anger and hate towards another person

Yes, one night out at a buffet does not a glutton make. But it is worth considering how much of our attention is devoted to overeating. It certainly shows up around our waistlines!

The list (not found this way in the Bible, by the way, but compiled from many Biblical sources) brings to awareness the many ways that we let focus on ourselves take away our focus on God.

As we  focus, so we live. We need that daily time of reflection to bring God into our awareness so that we focus on what is right and good.

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Take Care of Yourself

June 3, 2016

“I translate theology into English.”

Somewhere in a conversation, that thought occurred to me. I do that with technology, too.

Sometimes, though, we need to go beyond theology. We read about the great thinkers of the faith. Or the great leaders. We sometimes stop with what they wrote, or with saints, with the weird things they did.

I get annoyed. We don’t teach leaders how to take care of themselves. We don’t teach Jesus followers how to take care of themselves, either. Many of the leaders left traces of their lifestyles that would teach as much as their words.

Caregivers know, or soon learn, that they must take care of themselves and keep themselves healthy and balanced if they are going to be able to help others. “Put your oxygen mask on first before helping others,” the flight attendant intones at the beginning of every flight.

Part of the message of Keven L. Meyer’s book, The Simple Leader, advises us to use the principles of Lean and Zen to take care of ourselves, too.

  • Simplify our environment–get rid of clutter around us and organize what’s left
  • Simplify our minds–get rid of the clutter there, too; learn to be aware of the present–where we are, people and things around us, sights/sounds, conversations, focus on what you’re doing
  • Simplify our nutrition–use Lean principles of reducing waste by eating healthy foods, not preparing or trying to eat too much–that is waste and we remove waste
  • Focus–on where you are right this moment
  • Focus–on one task at a time
  • Focus–on the other person in a conversation
  • Awareness–of what we eat, eating slowly with awareness of flavor and texture, eating foods that are good to our bodies and minds
  • Awareness–of the other person, what are they thinking and feeling (not my response)
  • Awareness–of our purpose and the type of person we want to be, and where we are right now relative to those

All of these impact the type of leader we will be–and the type of person we’ll become. Go and take care of yourself, too.

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When You Stop Trying So Hard

May 27, 2016

“Stop trying, relax, and just slip into the pose.”

There are Yoga poses that just don’t work well when you try to force your way into them. Then you just relax, especially your abs, and just ease into the pose.

Try this. No, really, try it. Stand up. Keeping your back as straight as possible, bend over and touch your toes (or shins, or knees, or thighs…).

Now back at the standing position, relax your mid-section. Consciously. Maybe think about bringing your belly button back to your spine. Now try it. Don’t force it. Just bend.

(Honestly, all this came to me last night when I was talking the class into one of those forward bend poses that seem to stretch everything.)

I’ve been spending a lot of time with Matthew 5, 6, 7. This includes the Sermon on the Mount. Remember how Jesus concludes? “Be perfect just as your Father is perfect.”

Now, think about the group of people Jesus continually sparred with–the Pharisees. How did they try to be “perfect just as your Father is perfect”? They tried…hard. They built rules on top of rules to explain how to live in every situation in every minute of every day. It was a full-time job just working hard to be perfect.

Then Jesus comes along. He reinterprets all the laws making them impossible to achieve. Then he says, be perfect. Hold on there, partner. Perfect? Impossible!

Yes, that’s the point. You don’t get to a relationship with God by your hard work at being perfect. Stop trying so hard. Relax. Then turn your attention to God and let God do the work.

Like Yogi Berra supposedly said, “You can hear a lot just by listening.” Just by slowing down and ceasing the impossible task of trying to be perfect, we open a space for God to actually come in. And, since our focus is off ourselves, now we can hear God. And respond.

And we’ll be perfect enough.

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All God’s Children

May 17, 2016

“Your wife told me that you’ve been to Germany recently,” the older guy said to me at the gym. He came closer obviously wanting to make a point.

“Did you see a lot of those Muslims there?” he asked in a confidential whisper. “You know they are everywhere over there. The people hate Merkel for letting them in. They don’t assimilate like other people. They just keep to their own communities.”

When you grow up in a white-only area of a southern California city and then move to a rural area where total “non-white” population is less than 8%, I guess you form weird ideas about people. Add in that his only source of news is Fox…

I’m white, I suppose. Grew up and still live in the area. People always assume I share the same beliefs. But I went wrong somewhere. Traveled extensively. Did business around the world for the past 35 years. And maybe I took the New Testament teachings more seriously than most. (By the way, not all people in west central Ohio share that guy’s belief. Many do, though.)

Thoughts of poor Peter right after Jesus’ resurrection flashed through my mind. A gentile named Cornelius had a crisis–a crisis of health and a spiritual crisis he didn’t even realize at first. Peter was called.

Now Jews didn’t assimilate into the broader Greco-Roman culture. Peter was forbidden by his law from going into Cornelius’ house. From eating his food. From having any more to do with him than business.

But Cornelius had a problem and Peter had the solution. God had been whispering (maybe even shouting) to Peter to prepare him for this occasion. Peter sucked it up, went in, healed, shared the good news of Jesus’ resurrection, converted the entire household.

Peter finally experienced the power of the gospel. It is for all God’s children. God loves every human being and wants to draw them all to him. The New Testament, as much as many wish, is not full of doctrine and theology. It is full of the need of all of us for grace and God’s wish to extend it to us.

Back to my acquaintance at the gym. I burst his bubble. At least a little one.

“No,” I said, “I didn’t see many Muslims. But I have many Muslims as friends. They are all great people. There will be several posts a day in my Facebook feed in Arabic.”

Not willing to leave well enough alone, “Be careful what you trust as far as news on TV. They manipulate pictures to show things as more dramatic or worse than they are for effect. Remember, they aren’t bringing news. They are selling ads.”

And I leave that for you. Be careful what you allow to fill your mind. Are you in a vicious circle of negativity? Are you filling it with God’s word so that when an opportunity arises you can respond appropriately?

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Grace Under Pressure

May 16, 2016

Grace under pressure was truth in Ernest Hemmingway’s writing.

Sometimes we don’t face the challenges that a novelist will place a character in a story. But in our own way, we have to face the pressure frequently.

I was director of referees for youth soccer tournaments two straight weekends. I lived with the pressure of returning from a week in Germany facing assigning referees to appropriate games and recruiting more referees.

Friday late afternoon sipping a blended latte in my favorite coffee shop reflecting on getting the job done for this weekend’s tournament, I was relaxed and ready to go.

Checked emails. “Gary, we had 2″ of rain Thursday. Most of our fields are unplayable. We are marking out new fields, but we won’t have as many. Rescheduling all the games now.”

That meant that when the tournament director’s team finished figuring out all this, I had to go back and reassign all the referees. We had as many games in two fewer fields.

I sent an email to all the referees–prepare for schedule changes. Somewhere around 8:30 pm I was notified the schedule was complete. Somewhere around 11 pm I finished the last of the assignments.

Same thing Saturday. They decided in the afternoon that despite 30mph winds all day, the ground had not dried enough. Saturday night–schedule finished about 9, I finished about 11.

The the tournament committee (well Caleb and Chris) figured out how to do the schedule. That is a tough job. Then I started on the referee assignments.

It’s amazing. 50 or more referees. Not a one (well, there was one guy, but he’s an exception in every sense) came to me arguing or complaining. I obviously made mistakes. Guys were booked on two different fields at the same time. One guy was booked for two games at the same time–on the same field.

Everyone handled it.

You learn–faced with a challenge, there is no good to be gained from exploding. You face a big task with a crushing deadline, sign, then just go to work. One game at a time. Guys remarked how calm I was. (So were the other leaders, but they didn’t know them.) I’ve been in the situation.

When you are faced with a changed situation, the only true response it to change your attitude and respond with grace.

I saw 50-60 people do that this weekend. It’s a marvelous thing. And 1,400 kids got to play all their games and have a blast.

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Theology is Nice, But How Do You Live

May 3, 2016

The small group was reading in Romans. More reading than studying.  Many just hit a verse and say they’ve underlined it many years ago.

Inevitably, someone starts in on “theology lite.” She/he begins to expound on some theology from a thinker they’ve probably never actually read. Happens all the time.

I intercede (interrupt?). That’s one of my weaknesses–speaking up.

Let’s look at the simplicity and beauty of the letter, I suggest. Paul says we all start life as sinners. We may have the “Law” or may not, but it doesn’t matter. We’re all the same. Given the era Paul wrote in and his audience, he tries to explain the whole Jew/Greek thing. Same conclusion.

By the way, as an aside, some people stop here. We’re all sinners, they proclaim darkly. But that’s not the end of the story.

By chapter 6, Paul starts to hint that there’s a better life ahead. Chapter 8 he hits us full on with grace. We can dwell in sin, or we can live freely in grace. Chapter 10 reinforces the thought.

Paul concludes the letter with how we actually live under grace.

Sinners–>Grace–>Belief–>New Life (beginning Now)

Theology is nice. It’s an intellectual exercise. Makes for heated arguments. Humans have done it for thousands of years.

But, does it help you when you walk through the door into the world?

When you boil it down, almost everything Jesus taught, almost everything Paul taught, what James taught, what Peter taught–how we live beginning right now, this moment. Are we harboring evil thoughts toward another? We just committed murder in our hearts. Watch someone with lust in our hearts? We just committed adultery.

Or

  • We saw someone in need and helped them (not preached at, gave them a meal)
  • We saw someone mourning and we wept with them
  • We saw someone rejoicing and rejoiced with them
  • We saw someone lost and showed them the way to life through discipleship

We can think all we want. It’s our response to living with God that counts.

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Jesus Turned Everything Upside Down

April 11, 2016

Matthew had an interesting outline for how he wanted to present his friend Jesus to the world. He introduces Jesus and the scene. Then he skips to Jesus baptism and what we call temptation (actually a period of spiritual formation followed by facing temptations which always happen to us after a deep spiritual experience and we’re strong enough to deal with them).

Then he consolidates the core of Jesus’ teaching. Chapters 5-7. I have now decided to reread these annually along with my annual reading of the book of Proverbs.

If you can clear your mind, throw away footnoted, transport yourself back to the scene in your imagination, then read the teaching, perhaps the message will sink in.

Many of us need time to let things sink in and become part of our awareness.

Looking at the “blessed” statements with eyes open to the world of the Romans, you see how Jesus turned it all upside down. Instead of the powerful being blessed, it is the opposite.

Then Jesus proceeds to raise the bar on following the law. It was already hard for people,  especially common, ordinary working people, to follow every bit of the law. Then Jesus says, you have heard it said, but I say… He made it impossible.

Then you think about it. If you think you can follow the law to become right with God, you have set an impossible task. However, if you have the right relationship with God and people, then you will in fact be following the law. It’s all upside down–God’s way and our way.

So it’s sort of weird, our spiritual practices. They should help us maintain a right relationship with God and at the same time help us focus on being right with other people.

We don’t study just to be knowledgeable. That is useless. We study so that we know how to relate to others and how to help point them to a relationship. We also study (people have said in surveys) to achieve and maintain our own right relationship with God.

Same with prayer. Same with worship. Same with fasting.

Spiritual is not just what’s inside you. Spiritual is also how you manifest that which is inside to other people. Are you helpful or a hindrance? Generous or selfish? Thinking of others or all about you?

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Jesus Kept Raising The Bar

April 8, 2016

Imagine you are a first-century Jewish common person. From Galilee, the “hillbilly” of the country. You’re listening to a new guy preach. You’ve heard rabbis and self-proclaimed rabbis speak before.

But this guy is different. His name is Joshua, same as the guy who conquered the Holy Land. (In Greek, which they spoke but didn’t use except for trade, Jesus.)

His talks turned the power relationships upside down. He brought forward the poor and disenfranchised. He poked at the rich and powerful–Romans and especially Pharisees.

Then he reinterpreted the Law and raised the bar. He raised it so high that even those self-righteous Pharisees couldn’t make it.

John preached righteousness and repentance. But this Jesus dude–he took it to a whole different level.

There was no way anyone could make it except by God’s grace.

I guess that was the point.

No wonder those first-century listeners followed him. He also backed it up by healing those who came to him.

So how does all that impact our spiritual formation and disciplines today? Does it still seem so impossible? Or, have we heard the story so many times that we lose the wonder and mystery?

I’m going back and reading just Jesus’ words. Not the stories or interludes. What did he say?

Then I try to put on new eyes and see the text new. What would I think if I were sitting on that hillside on the north shore of the Sea of Galilee? Seeing this guy for the first time? Not knowing what would happen in just three years.

Could he topple governments? Put those snooty people who think they are so great in their place?

Certainly he was feeding the spiritual hunger that had grown so much at this time.

Messiah (in Greek, Christ; in English, anointed one of God)? What did that really mean?

He certainly gave us something to think about as we walked home afterwards.

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